Ruby Granger

[DigiDuino]

In fairness to Ruby she's 20 (21?) and living away from home during a global pandemic. I know some people might be completely fine with doing that but for others it's actually not ideal, particularly if your mental health isn't great (which Ruby has said hers isn't before). I'm a 24 year old student doing my second degree and I'm homesick sometimes despite having not lived permanently at home for years. It's also worse at the moment because I went home during lockdown (the first one) and so now have to readjust to being alone again (I live alone).

I know some people are very independent and can totally cope with living alone (and we don't know that her flatmate hasn't gone home, prompting this!) but others can't and I think it's a bit unfair to criticise her so heavily. I know this is a Tattle site but sometimes I think people forget that everyone is different and if she's not breaking rules or whatever then it's kind of an unnecessary criticism. I also know that a fair few of us on here are a bit older than Ruby and might do well to remember what it was like to be 20.

/rant

Agreed, I came back home at the start of the whole thing and I'm still here because my offices aren't opening properly for another couple of weeks. I was down briefly in July but I just couldn't cope with it personally. I'm only a couple of years older than you as well and had lived across the country from my family for years before now, I can't even imagine being Ruby's age and having to go through this

My landlord is very understanding and has cut my rent but paying that to keep the flat I love, storage for my stuff and the peace of mind of being with family right now is 100% worth it to me. I'm dreading going back in January if I'm being honest with myself!

 

[ECH]

In fairness to Ruby she's 20 (21?) and living away from home during a global pandemic. I know some people might be completely fine with doing that but for others it's actually not ideal, particularly if your mental health isn't great (which Ruby has said hers isn't before). I'm a 24 year old student doing my second degree and I'm homesick sometimes despite having not lived permanently at home for years. It's also worse at the moment because I went home during lockdown (the first one) and so now have to readjust to being alone again (I live alone).

I'm in the exact same situation! 24, doing my masters, went to live with family during lockdown 1 and am now back in my own flat. I really don't fault Ruby for going home, especially since she's quite immature and I think being at home might help. She's an anxious person, I'd rather she went home if it helps her be less anxious.

 

[nissigossips]

especially if its only tier two in exeter, I don’t actually have too much sympathy for it.

We're actually only Tier one in Exeter!!

 

[July9696]

I have sympathy with her as others have said, she’s young and clearly had major anxiety about hygiene and being alone in the house.

It’s unfortunate because she only lasted what, 4 weeks? Coronavirus isn’t going away anytime soon and it’s for all of us to manage it our anxiety about it. Hopefully she’s still getting therapy. Also hope she feels able to elaborate about why too. Would be good for others in higher tier situations (Manchester etc). Although she is 1000% in a privileged place as she’ll likely have to be paying rent still.

 

[whatshesaid123]

It’s okay for her that she’s in the position where she can afford to move home. But for the majority of students like myself it just isnt an option and it’s tit for the rest of us who have to stay at uni because they’re in a higher tier and have contracts for rent. It’s just not fair that Ruby can do what she likes, leave the flat mate and move back home because she’s scared even though she’s only in Tier 1!! She should have stayed and got used to it, just carry on like everyone else. You can’t just run home when things are tough even though you might want to, I just think it shows how immature she it

 

[newtoyou]

I agree with the people who think the criticism is a bit unfair. Ruby was clearly very anxious, hadn’t even been into a shop through lockdown and admitted that she was getting into previous ocd tendencies with her hand washing again. If she went home for her mental health then I don’t think it’s fair to question whether or not she could’ve sucked it up. She’s the only one who’ll know what might push her mental health over the edge.

Saying that, I’m really sorry to all the students on this thread. You are all doing amazing, however you’re handling it

 

[aplaceicantsee]

It’s okay for her that she’s in the position where she can afford to move home. But for the majority of students like myself it just isnt an option and it’s tit for the rest of us who have to stay at uni because they’re in a higher tier and have contracts for rent. It’s just not fair that Ruby can do what she likes, leave the flat mate and move back home because she’s scared even though she’s only in Tier 1!! She should have stayed and got used to it, just carry on like everyone else. You can’t just run home when things are tough even though you might want to, I just think it shows how immature she it

I feel legitimately sorry for those who can't go home - I'm currently in Wales so on lockdown when my family live in England, as is my little brother who is only 19, so I truly do feel sorry for people who can't go home.

However, the point still stands that you have to do what's best for you and I'm not going to criticise someone for doing what I can't do right now. We have no idea of the struggles going on in her life and with her mental health so I just won't pass judgement.

 

[bananasparklingsoda]

I don't think it's weird for a 20 year old to go live at home during uncertain times when classes are online anyway. I think you lot are a bit harsh on her.

 

[nissigossips]

I don't think it's weird for a 20 year old to go live at home during uncertain times when classes are online anyway. I think you lot are a bit harsh on her.

It's so weird for a fully grown woman to run back home to her parents?! Maybe not if she was living somewhere like Liverpool or Lancashire but my god, Exeter is honestly fine (compared to the rest of the UK) so she's just using the fact uni can be online as an excuse to go home imo

 

[blmrqslm]

I think what shook us the most was the fact that she insisted on going back to uni, even knowing it wouldn't be the same. Like, it was her choice? And she didn't even give it a chance to things settle. She rushed there and then rushed back home. It looked like a waste of time and money. If she wasn't sure about dealing with the pandemic situation, she should've chosen to continue having online classes, like Holly Gabrielle did, for example.

 

[bananasparklingsoda]

I think what shook us the most was the fact that she insisted on going back to uni, even knowing it wouldn't be the same. Like, it was her choice? And she didn't even give it a chance to things settle. She rushed there and then rushed back home. It looked like a waste of time and money. If she wasn't sure about dealing with the pandemic situation, she should've chosen to continue having online classes, like Holly Gabrielle did, for example.

that's fair, I just feel kind of bad for her since she didn't seem to be doing so great in her past videos.

 

[tsuyu]

Yeah I agree, everyone is being a bit harsh.
It’d be weird if she actually lived in the house she owns and moved out of that to live with her parents. All she’s done is love back home whilst classes are online. Not everyone is that fortunate but I know if I were in her shoes I’d be considering it.

I think it’s unfair to judge based on speculation. As far as I’m aware we don’t know the true reason she’s moved back home. Has her housemate moved back home too and she didn’t want to be alone? Is she not enjoying spending most of her time in her house alone/only with her housemate? Does she have a health condition that’s she not disclosed (which she doesn’t have to) so is playing it safe?

I’m certain some unis were not allowing people to enroll unless they were paying rent somewhere. she could have been stuck renting somewhere knowing her classes were online and not being fully committed to living there during a pandemic.

 

[ECH]

Yeah I agree, everyone is being a bit harsh.
It’d be weird if she actually lived in the house she owns and moved out of that to live with her parents. All she’s done is love back home whilst classes are online. Not everyone is that fortunate but I know if I were in her shoes I’d be considering it.

I think it’s unfair to judge based on speculation. As far as I’m aware we don’t know the true reason she’s moved back home. Has her housemate moved back home too and she didn’t want to be alone? Is she not enjoying spending most of her time in her house alone/only with her housemate? Does she have a health condition that’s she not disclosed (which she doesn’t have to) so is playing it safe?

I’m certain some unis were not allowing people to enroll unless they were paying rent somewhere. she could have been stuck renting somewhere knowing her classes were online and not being fully committed to living there during a pandemic.

Also, she could have been promised in person teaching when she moved in only to have that pulled away from her at the last minute, as has happened at a tonne of unis

 

[Lorny]

Yeah I totally don’t see anything wrong with her going back home. Exeter might be ok just now but it could change and some students could be facing not seeing their family until Christmas or even after. If I was Ruby I would have done the same.

 

[nbx512]

Yeah idk I may be speaking from my own experiences but both me and my sisters (I'm 25, they're 19) literally moved continents when we were 18 to go to uni. Some of this was of necessity as our parents lived in a country with no unis but we also made the decision not to go to at least the same continent or country. With COVID we had a small window to get "home' but we all decided to stay put and now couldn't even get to our parents if we wanted to. The thing is we've all spoken openly about the mental toll of lock downs, isolation and quarantine but what our parents have been really good at is supporting us from afar but also encouraging us to seek out support services where we are. We all know that when bad things happen we can't just fall back on home as an option, and I totally get with Ruby there may be other things happening for her like mental health or her flatmate leaving but I really do think she's missed a big opportunity to gain resilience and independence. She could have gained the psychological help she needed in Exeter etc etc and beyond all it would have taught her that she's capable of a lot more than she gives herself credit for.

 

[Deeznutslol]

I don’t think it was terrible of her to go back home, but I do think the fact that she went to uni in the first place knowing that this pandemic was not going away, was certainly going to get worse, signed a lease on a flat and then left after one month really shows her privilege. Especially in a time where majority of people could not afford to be doing that, and considering all the job losses that have happened as well. So I can see why some people would look at it and not have too much sympathy for it, bc we’re all in this pandemic and sometimes you can’t help but compare experiences.
But at the end of the day situations change and if shes got mh then shes gotta do whats best for her.

 

[ritawhizz]

Hey, I lurk on this thread occasionally but just wanted to give my input about Exeter and Ruby going home! I've just graduated from Exeter and still get their internal emails and the students were promised that they would have blended in person and online teaching for this term/academic year, then at the last minute when the students had just moved back it changed. Since the end of September Exeter uni have imposed a sort of 'soft lockdown' for the students asking them to stop socialising indoors with people who aren't from their household, amongst many other things which was before England introduced their 3 Tier system that we're currently under. Societies also aren't allowed to mix in person anywhere, even socially distanced, so it really is difficult for people if they're living alone or with very few people, so I can understand if she has chosen to move home again. These measures were meant to last 2 weeks until mid October but they're still in place for at least another week. The prevalence of the virus in the student population was very high about a month ago too, so that may have also scared her into going home...

 

[newtoyou]

I don’t think it was terrible of her to go back home, but I do think the fact that she went to uni in the first place knowing that this pandemic was not going away, was certainly going to get worse, signed a lease on a flat and then left after one month really shows her privilege. Especially in a time where majority of people could not afford to be doing that, and considering all the job losses that have happened as well. So I can see why some people would look at it and not have too much sympathy for it, bc we’re all in this pandemic and sometimes you can’t help but compare experiences.
But at the end of the day situations change and if shes got mh then shes gotta do whats best for her.

Obviously I don’t know for sure what Ruby’s situation was, but when I was at uni we signed our contract for our second year house in February (and this was late!). If you waited any later, you’d get the bottom of the barrel houses. So it’s possible she signed before covid. Maybe the people on here at Exeter Uni will know better though.

 

[Deeznutslol]

Obviously I don’t know for sure what Ruby’s situation was, but when I was at uni we signed our contract for our second year house in February (and this was late!). If you waited any later, you’d get the bottom of the barrel houses. So it’s possible she signed before covid. Maybe the people on here at Exeter Uni will know better though.

Jesus christ, yeah that would make sense tbf

 

[whatshesaid123]

I just think she’s so privileged to be able to go home and leave her student house after a few weeks. All I want is to go see my family but I can’t because they are in tier 3 (so there’s a genuine concern about my family getting covid) I kind of think it’s weird that she runs back home when it’s not even that bad of a situation in Exeter. This may be harsh but ruby does have that option, she’s in a better place than a lot of students right now. And when students moved back to uni they know the risk, I had to isolate after a week of being back. I think it’s kind of irresponsible for ruby to move back to uni and back out after a few weeks, she could have stuck it out till Christmas and then done online uni after that.