Ruby Granger #36 Pumpkin Bread Activity

[marcelprout]

When do oxford acceptances/rejections come out?

I just checked, my application outcome from Oxford came in the afternoon of 22nd February (so on this exact date) keep your eyes peeled for any "arson in Buckinghamshire"-related news, folks

As for that poem, you just know she thought she was channeling Emily Dickinson, but she can't actually craft a convincing metaphor to save her life so she just drowned it in confusing adjectives

 

[Griftwood]

I know we say this several times a day, but her hair is just tragic. It’s way too long, starts way too high on her head, and it’s just so dull and frayed and like a louse would think it prime real estate. Shouldn’t pick on someone’s appearance, I know, but when social media is how you make your money and appearance-related posts are a regular part of your content, it would be well worth the investment to have it cut and styled. Even 12-year-olds are getting haircuts these days, Roobs. I promise you it won’t ruin your carefully crafted image

 

[Griftwood]

Her "poetry" consists of listing colours and stating the obvious (seagulls fly, the wind makes things move), with a sprinkling of made-up words to make her feel like she's being an extra creative girl genius.

 

[gossip_guy]

It's the reason why she also volunteered to do that social media "strategy" thing for the Emily Dickinson museum. A regular volunteer wouldn't have the access she had and she most likely made a donation as well.

I don't think she'll have donated a penny, personally. She'd have been screaming from the rooftops about it if she had instead of refusing to confirm if she actually paid for anything herself when she was asked if it was sponsored.

I expect she'll have contacted the museum, talked up how she has 700,000 subscribers, is SOCH A HYOOJ AMMILY DICKINSON FAN and would love to visit and see everything the museum has to offer to show it to her huge following. They said yes and she got free VIP tours and $200 writing experience perks in exchange for advertising the museum. It was just an undeclared ad dressed up as a job and another opportunity she earned through privilege.

The only thing she'll have paid for herself would be flights and accommodation. That's another benefit of her privileged circumstances - the average person would never have a spare 2 weeks and £3,000 to blow on a museum visit to pad their CV. Plus she will have undoubtedly claimed back her flights and accommodation as business expenses since they were for "YEECHEEB WAAHRK".

It's also no coincidence that with anything she's ever done that she's ever claimed was work (Pumpkin Bread Activity, the museum thing, her teaching job, her JHAUN JAHRMAYNN transcription internship, etc.), she's been extremely cagey, avoided saying what she actually did, embellished wildly about the nature of her role and how involved she was or just outright lied about it.

She's never done even half a day's work in her entire life, but her CV says she's a CEO, teacher, researcher, voice actor, charity ambassador, social media strategist, lion tamer, deep-sea diver, the third person into space (when she was TWALVE!), inventor of the candle snuffer, first person to colonise Australia (WHAN SHE WAS TWALVE), founder of Unicef, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize (AT TWALVE!!!), 17-time Poet Laureate, Emily Dickinson's ghost writer, recipient of the Victoria Cross for outstanding valour in combat, and god knows what else. It's all just fake jobs, sham vanity gigs created by her management or woefully low-effort, unimpressive projects that she's embellished beyond reality.

 

[Satisfying Click]

I'm listening to Ruby miss the point about Wuthering Heights and need to the ghost of Emily Bronte to come crashing through her window and clip her round the head

 

[Griftwood]

She’s asked AI to write a poem about Oxford University in the style of Ammilee Dickinson. We plumb new depths every day.

 

[donny345]

has anyone seen @/lady_of_the_mercians tiktok video responding to being called the “ruby granger of history”? it’s an excellent takedown of her videos. i also saw her in ruby’s comments questioning her on miss patina but of course there was no response lol

came on here just to see if anyone posted about this it’s refreshing to see the critical thinking & self-awareness of her commenters… i guess the bar was on the floor compared to roobee’s comment section

edit: I also have to mention that this has me cackling

 

[anakinskywalkers]

Quotes -
- "I sit staring at the screen. Its brightness bores into my frontal lobe, inducing a slight headache and I close my eyes to escape the light"
- Upon reading another email calling her out for being rude Ruby says "I resist the urge to correct the girls grammar, knowing it is neither the time nor the place"
- "Telling them would raise a barrel of difficult questions and would damage my painstakingly crafted persona"
- "According to www.anxietyscentre.com, you sweat a lot when you are stressed and this is certainly true tonight"
- "When I look in the mirror the next morning, the tender epithelial tissue under my eyes has been bruised violet"
- When talking about her dry lips she says "They hang repulsively with slimy petroleum gel and the distinct odour of cocoa butter"
- "All I can taste is the flavourless whiteness of the milk"
- "His nose hairs quiver in the artificial breeze"
- "A brief shudder of hope rushes up my vertebral column"

Doubling down on my belief that Ruby has unintentionally created the most clinical psychopath in fiction. lf you told me that these quotes were from American Psycho Id believe you. The descriptions are so scary

 

[missmina]

Not to mention she has zero responsibilities overall. I work full time, I’m writing my final thesis on the weekends, then I have to clean the house, do shopping, cook, spend some time with my partner and family, look after my pets and do other errands. Weekends are barely for resting most of the time, more like time away from work to pick up on the private life stuff. She doesn’t get it because she doesn’t clean at all (not even her room), her parents take care of all the shopping and bills, she doesn’t have partner or any friends, not even a full time job. Sundays are the worst when you realise the weekend is gone and you’ve barely managed to rest and still have shit tons to do. But I’d much prefer that than the meaningless boring life Ruby has.

 

[Ilaariaa]

Erimentha is a truly horrifying look into Ruby's psyche

 

[figgypud]

Oh god, the House of Pankhurst speech she has shared on her story. How has she been invited to speak at this? SHE SAYS NOTHING.

It's all buzzwords and the most shallow, basic observations - Emily Pankhurst's words are "still relevant today", there are people whose voices are kept quiet today TOO but she doesn't elaborate or give any specific examples, because she doesn't know any because she lives in a privileged bubble. The campaign is "so important", a phrase so overused by Ruby that it means nothing and signals her having nothing specific to say.

I absolutely loathe seeing her get opportunities like this. How do people not see through her?

 

[ghostly_prince]

She made a cafe menu (6:20 timestamp) in her newest video ...that's something I would've done when I was 8 with my family...not 22

But who knows maybe this will lead Ruby to a job at Starbucks...though she would probably quit once she realized it wasn't all just pretend and she'd actually have to work

 

[Blue_Letters]

Why does Ribbit look so smug here? Probably thinking "aha! try and make fun of my hairline now suckers! It could be anywhere!"

 

[gossip_guy]

True! Yeah, yet another example of the red/pink confusion. That Blakeney interaction was infuriating, the way Roob kept insisting.
Was the beige cardigan the Valentines vid?

That's the one! There's probably more examples lurking in her old videos, too.

I'm also trying to figure out what the fuck is happening in the rest of this poem and struggling to make sense of this gibberish.

So...beyond the buds - not amongst them, with the rest of its body concealed by foliage - there's a disembodied beak with blue feathers all over it just floating there. It's (as far as I know) the only beak known to man to be covered in feathers, and certainly the only known beak to live independently of a head and body.

Near as I can figure it, Ruby is depicting some horrific post-apocalyptic wasteland of nightmares, where giant disembodied beaks roam the land looking to devour whatever surviving humans they find.

The nuclear winds of spring appear to anger and empower this beak-beast as its feathers unfurl like a dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park spreading its frilly collar before it spits acid at its prey.

Ruby weaves in a sense of foreboding, too. The colour-changing plants that sporadically dot the landscape, tainted by radiation, certainly aren't benevolent - what horrors await when they bloom?

Truly a chilling depiction of the post-apocalypse. But what's more chilling is the first word: "Certainly." This is no imaginary future, Ruby tells us - it's no brief work of fiction. This is inevitable. This is what awaits us: Giant, floating killer beaks and carnivorous kaleidoscope plants. (Shudders in fear.)

 

[Redrose97]

I don't understand why Ruby is speaking at a suffragette bunch other than her management set it up for her What has Ruby done for feminism or even said something to do with women's rights other than sharing an Instagram story? I am feeling more bothered by this than I should be as I've done work on the suffragette movement for a dissertation for university. I feel as if there should have a historian or someone who is for a women's rights group in Ruby's place, I didn't hear her speak but I feel as if it was a lot of buzzwords. I'm getting fed of people like Ruby getting into places and speaking just because of their management when she clearly has nothing to say that is of importance.

Also, is Ruby going to take on a history nerd persona as she is one apparently? I'm hoping she doesn't as it will make me hate doing a MLitt in history as Ruby will put me off my course with her being into history and describing things as 'cool.'

 

[DrinaM]

What pisses me off is that its not even her kitchen. That is her MOTHER'S kitchen and her mother has to order a hot drink and pastry or whatever in HER OWN kitchen. Just to indulge her regressive adult child? Which makes me think: 'or what?' What happens if they don't indulge Ruby. My mind goes to Ruby throwing a massive tantrum or having a meltdown of some kind.

 

[Ilaariaa]

A FEW DAYS???

The reason children play waitress is because they can't actually do those things. Children playing pretend is how they can explore the world safely, interact with other kids, use their imagination, develop social skills etc. As an adult you don't need to play waitress, you can just make a hot drink and a snack and sit with your friends or family.

Exactly!!
Besides, an adult should also find things like playing restaurant or tea party kinda...boring? And not intellectually stimulating enough to actually want to do it? (Unless when you play with an actual child of course)
I don't know it's such a weird thing to do I don't even know what to say.

It seems to me that Ruby's real passion in life isn't reading or academia, it's LARPing.

 

[gossip_guy]

She really thinks everyone gets Saturday and Sunday off, doesn't she?! "One of the two days off that people get".

She always thinks of everything in the most simplistic terms and her knowledge of how the world works still seems entirely informed by school.

"Schyool is 8-3 Monnday to Froydayy with Saturdyayy and Sonndayy off and 6 week sommer hyolidayys! And the yeeaahhr starts in August/Saptammber! That mosst be how the real wahhrld wahhrks, tyoo!"

There's no working weekends in Ruby's mind. No shift work, no night shifts, no 5-7 day working weeks, no irregular shift patterns, no working multiple jobs. There's no stress, no work dread, no overwhelming workloads or unbearable coworkers or managers, no children or family to take care of, no errands to do, no housework to juggle alongside work. If it hasn't happened to her, she simply can't imagine it, and in her sheltered little bubble, there's precious little that she's actually experienced.
---

Ruby apparently figured out that no teachers follow her or have any interest in putting trash like this in their students' hands.

"Plyease, oiy'll acksapt antries from annyone! Just give me stoddy tips that oiy can reuse in moiy three howwahs at waaarkk and oiy'll januinely sannd you planners! This is a one hondrad plannah gyiveaway! Did oiy say 100? Whoops, oiy mean 90! Lyook, it doesn't really matter becoss oiy'm not ackshually gyowwing tyoo bee sanding you annything, but oiy need thyose stoddy tips! Oiy can't be ackpackted to yoose moiy own brain, can oiy?"

 

[Whisper2Me]

I am going to be totally honest here. Watching the way Ruby is regressing is just plain spooky. First hand experience. I have a cousin who was a lot like Ruby, except never educationally obsessed. She lived an extremely sheltered life, parents had plenty of money, spoiled her rotten and while she could come across as sweet and innocent, she was actually quite rude and manipulative. Because her parents didn't want to make waves and their oldest/other child was already out on her own, they allowed her to run away with her childishness. As they lived in another state, my parents and I visited and stayed for a week. It was horrendous. They insisted I, at age 22 (ironically) do an Easter egg hunt in the house. As a full-time employee, college graduate, this was absolutely ridiculous in my eyes. My cousin was supposed to be in school and instead they let her stay home, so no privacy, no space. She was glued to me like Ruby glued herself to Blakeney. Fast forward a bit, my cousin went to uni, lasted 2 months and had to drop out because she missed her parents. She never went back to school, never dated, never had a normal job. She is now 50. Her mother passed away in December. Her father is in his 90's and now in a nursing home for life. She has nothing. No money of her own, no friends, no job, no experience, nothing. I have not seen her since the 1980's and have no desire to. I don't know what she is going to do, but point being, her parent's didn't do her any favours by spoiling her or allowing her to live in her make believe world and treat this behaviour as normal. Maybe Ruby managed uni, though who knows what would have happened if Covid never existed and she had to stay on without retreating back home. At any rate, things really don't look good for Ruby and if she doesn't get help or get her act together soon, she is going to be in the same situation as my cousin, which right now means she is rapidly heading towards being homeless. You can have a lot of money, but life takes strange and unexpected turns, and health issues lead to big bills and draining of accounts. And suddenly there isn't anything left. Watching her parents accept their adult child playing waitress and all her other extremely eccentric ways is so twisted and unnerving. Surely there is something inside of Ruby that tells her she isn't behaving correctly for her age. If not, then something far more serious is in play.

 

[JustVibing]

I would also say getting a reality-check at Oxford could do her some good, but on the other hand we know the only thing Ruby really excels in is pretending all of her failures are "societies fault". If she fails at Oxford she wont be able to do any critical thinking and reflection on it. It could get her further in life, making her reconsider her choices and making her get a job etc.. But likely it will just make her run home to her parents, continuing exactly the lifestyle of her "gap-year". She will make multiple videos how the "traditional" sense of success is wrong and you can also define success as running around your parents garden in a night gown while being absolutly misserable.