"Can't breathe... stats bad... A&E... last few threads didn't go viral...must tweet... "
- Roadsidemum
STAY STRONG, LOUISA! You're so kind and resilient. Also
delightfully funny for the wrong reasons and, we suspect strongly, not very honest. But we'd miss you.
I was explaining to my Year 11 class about Guy Fawkes the other day. Although we are a British international school none of the kids have lived in the UK really (maybe a couple as babies) they took a bit of convincing that the Brits really burn an effigy of a bloke on a bonfire every year.
off topic:
settle in, I've a dramatic thread for you, as I am AussieRoadsideAunt:
It's the Queen's birthday long weekend in June - winter has begun in Australia - a long time, long ago near the Dreamtime (the 80s.) 1/7
All the people in the rural urban suburb gather in the afternoon to make an effigy of a guy with forks, using old clothes and pantyhose. 2/7
A huge bonfire is built, lots of old telephone books are cleared out of garages. As darkness falls, the bonfire is lit, barbies are cranked up and some twice-foil-wrapped damper awaits the later embers. 3/7
Firecrackers are pointed at siblings. Tiny parachutes weighted by burning metal float from the sky into people's excited upturned eyes. Children run to catch other parachutes, smashing their knees on giant slabs of sandstone. 4/7
Dogs and cats go crazy. The horses in the paddock next to the bonfire will not be suitable for pony club tomorrow. 5/7
No one under 40 knows what the hell is the purpose. A Vietnamese born couple asks an Indian Australian neighbour, "This is great, what amazing Australian cultural highlight are we commemorating?" "No idea, mate, let's ask Kev," he responds. 6/7
Kevin puts on his most annoying casually racist 'I'm a REAL Aussie' voice and says, "It's to celebrate a failed plot to blow up Parliament House one November in bloody old England. It's an Australian *tradition*, mate." 7/7
Everyone nods wisely: cool, lovely, as you were, great night. 8/7
On topic: mentions a horse, no one went to "A&E", the children wanted world peace for Christmas in July, Catherine didn't show up #yachtclub #snob
I'm so annoyed at the double post above. I waited AGES. Now I can't edit. In order for MAXIMUM LIKES (and because I don't have time to go to A&E tonight) I'm reposting.
I was explaining to my Year 11 class about Guy Fawkes the other day. Although we are a British international school none of the kids have lived in the UK really (maybe a couple as babies) they took a bit of convincing that the Brits really burn an effigy of a bloke on a bonfire every year.
RSM is one of the reasons the NHS is on its knees- she knows better than all drs/ professionals. (Obv main reason is evil mismanagement and under funding)
off topic:
settle in, I've a dramatic thread for you, as I am AussieRoadsideAunt:
It's the Queen's birthday long weekend in June - winter has begun in Australia - a long time, long ago near the Dreamtime (the 80s.) 1/7
All the people in the rural urban suburb gather in the afternoon to make an effigy of a guy with forks, using old clothes and pantyhose. 2/7
A huge bonfire is built, lots of old telephone books are cleared out of garages. As darkness falls, the bonfire is lit, barbies are cranked up and some twice-foil-wrapped damper awaits the later embers. 3/7
Firecrackers are pointed at siblings. Tiny parachutes weighted by burning metal float from the sky into people's excited upturned eyes. Children run to catch other parachutes, smashing their knees on giant slabs of sandstone. 4/7
Dogs and cats go crazy. The horses in the paddock next to the bonfire will not be suitable for pony club tomorrow. 5/7
No one under 40 knows what the hell is the purpose. A Vietnamese born couple asks an Indian Australian neighbour, "This is great, what amazing Australian cultural highlight are we commemorating?" "No idea, mate, let's ask Kev," he responds. 6/7
Kevin puts on his most annoying casually racist 'I'm a REAL Aussie' voice and says, "It's to celebrate a failed plot to blow up Parliament House one November in bloody old England. It's an Australian *tradition*, mate." 7/7
Everyone nods wisely: cool, lovely, as you were, great night. 8/7
On topic: mentions a horse, no one went to "A&E", the children wanted world peace for Christmas in July, Catherine didn't show up #yachtclub #snob
(As I said, I'm so annoyed at the double post above. I waited AGES. Now I can't edit. In order for MAXIMUM LIKES (and because I don't have time to go to A&E tonight) I'm reposting.)
OH FFS
I need a
@mOD, stat!!!!! Otherwise I'm calling NHS!!!