Roadside Mum #5 oppressed to the point of starvation

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Come on, guys, this thread title is being really unkind and taking the piss out of someone in genuine, grinding, awful poverty. Don’t you know she can only afford ONE (and Aldi, ugh, a POORS shop) lobster for Christmas Day and has had to ask Twitter for recipe ideas to make it stretch? (Luckily Jack is doing a flounce so can’t advise ‘bung it in a curry’)
 
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Roadsidemum started June in A&E due to mould. She's been on hollerdays, worked really hard at avoiding the zine, has diligently homeschooled Roadside Naughtiest (who doesn't say the interesting and hilarious things that Twitter loves) and she's told some great stories about her love of cyclists and the "pink gorilla" who is her ex and a great father. Roadsidemum has eaten a lot of supermarket waste, but not bleeping trash cabbage.

Roadsidemum was stuck in the bath several times and the bloody washing machine broke again.

Roadsidemum wrote a long (obviously) thread about living in a freezing house, and wiping condensation from walls. It was dramatic, but useful, and was retweeted by a literal expert in the field.

@FlashBoof bought a new coat after reading a different thread in which Roadsidemum had sourced some great buys. That was weird, and credit where it's due!

There is no zine, no payment of £250 to contributors and no shame.
 
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Lovely recaps!

The coat is/was an absolute bargain - and I sold two others on Vinted to offset my purchase both financially and (semi 😒) environmentally. Furthermore, the coat seller also emailed me even better bargains for two Xmas presents - namely knitted/woolly hats for two relatives who are a bin man and a gardener respectively. I doff my pigskin cap to you, RSM.

I don’t think she is Jack - it’s kind of a running joke with me now that she is all up in Jacks niche (she will be buying the lobster with a £20 budget next) - but I know she isn’t.

RSM has been more use than Jack - but she has also been infinitely more vile and depressing in equal measured - unlike Jack, who continues to provide unintended hilarity in between flounces and deactivations.
 
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She also told someone to go and boil themselves alive, and may or may not have been briefly banned from twitter for it.
 
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Then there was the demise of the hamster and calling out PDSA for suggesting it was PTS. And calling in the RSPCA re the refugee centre.

And the poor chap in Costa who tried to make room for her wheelchair

And of course Utilita

LO had a Cinderella moment and didn’t go to the ball dressed in rags.
 
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RM got a new lipstick and one of her kids told her she looked like a lingerie model

 
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Engagement is a lot higher than usual on the lobster tweets.

Says a lot about the type of followers she has, falling over themselves to recommend lobster recipes, and who swallow her poverty claptrap hook, line, and sinker, and more than likely send cashapp-os.
 
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Came here to tell you all how naughty you are mentioning the lobster. Did you not know that poor people are allowed nice things?

Turns out I’m late to the party as RSM has already written a 10 tweet thread about how poor people through history have been denied lobster.

My solution to her lobster issue is, let the kids have the lobster, let them have the whole thing between them so they get more than a mouthful each. The adults can drink gin instead. Then with the time saved not having to make lengthy lobster themed tweets finish the book (allowing other people can have their £250 payments and then buy their own lobsters)
 
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I noticed she has been on one again. She really does think she is some special sort doesn’t she. Soooooo intelligent. Genius children - just happens to also be dirt poor.

I wonder what’s happened to the Scottish move?

Anyway - if you are worried about being poor and cold over Christmas then don’t buy the lobster. Let your kids buy their own lobster when they are older. My sisters partner tried lobster for the first time last year on holiday - they are in their early 40s. It’s really not a bit deal or worth mithering over. Unless it’s a precursor for begging. Remember last year when the kids “forgot” to put the shopping away and it all went manky - necessitating a last minute beg for money to buy more? Imagine that with a bag of lobsters!
 
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Just bringing back this evergreen post from @Jelly Bean

 
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She’s now moaning that one of the Kray twins favourite top has gone mouldy in the washing basket. I’ve lived in damp, cold, mouldy houses and never did clothes worn and washed regularly lie so long in the washing basket they went mouldy ‘beyond saving’. Things left in drawers in damp rooms for a while, yes. She’s just left it lying in the washing basket for a week with wet towels and not bothered doing the laundry, and now is blaming the house so people will send lobsters to cheer up the raggedy Kray.
 
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I might start reading her Twitter feed at bedtime. I’m sure “guess the missing ingredient” would make an excellent sleep aid.
 
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She’s now moaning that one of the Kray twins favourite top has gone mouldy in the washing basket. I’ve lived in damp, cold, mouldy houses and never did clothes worn and washed regularly lie so long in the washing basket they went mouldy ‘beyond saving’. Things left in drawers in damp rooms for a while, yes. She’s just left it lying in the washing basket for a week with wet towels and not bothered doing the laundry, and now is blaming the house so people will send lobsters to cheer up the raggedy Kray.
My thoughts exactly. If things were going to go mouldy that quickly (I.e not after being left for a week at the bottom of the washing basket - and even then they’d probably only smell a bit fousty - Scottish word) you’d not be able to wash or dry anything at all. She’s banking on having an audience that has never experienced even a bit of mould.
 
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Interesting that she seems to be really pushing the mould aspect recently in her tweets. She wouldn't be trying to capitalise on a recent high profile tragedy, would she?

I see she's making a big song and dance about having spent some money on clothes, and calling the kids desire to have their own clothes as opposed to communal clothes "territorial tit".

Follow RSM for more tips on being Mother of the Year.
 
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Interesting that she seems to be really pushing the mould aspect recently in her tweets. She wouldn't be trying to capitalise on a recent high profile tragedy, would she?

I see she's making a big song and dance about having spent some money on clothes, and calling the kids desire to have their own clothes as opposed to communal clothes "territorial tit".

Follow RSM for more tips on being Mother of the Year.
To be fair she did mention mould and ventilation in a long thread quite a while ago. But yeah she IS talking about it more now
 
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I've just read the entire page and the word "lobster" has lost all meaning.

Also, one of the Krays has a DENTAL EMERGENCY and RSM is going nuclear on Twitter because she can't get an appointment.

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Not gonna lie, I'd love to see her "going full Guy Fawkes."
 
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