Roadside Mum #5 oppressed to the point of starvation
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What would be the point of going full Guy Fawkes exactly? How would that help get an appointment?
She’s going to potentially be involved in a failed plot, leading to her name being associated with burning her effigy annually, for the next 400 years?
I’m in.
I’m in.
Emergency dentists exist, you daft old boot. PHONE THEM instead of tweeting a load of bollocks.
duck sake, I hate that bleep
duck sake, I hate that bleep
Her face was older, just a little rough; but her eyes were still so clear.Ah yes, Louisa¹, making terrorist threats will get you a dental appointment.
¹my phone wants toher name to "Louise", for some reason. Probably related to the Human League song.
Hello Louise. Remember me?
God I love this song
We have had some Greatest Hits comments this last 24 hours. Prime kid DHOTY stuff, some golden “I am ill/poor/struggling” but still heroically being the best parent ever” content. And a Billy bonus of fishing for info for future disease cosplay.
She must be loving Jacks absence - it’s all her best stuff!
She must be loving Jacks absence - it’s all her best stuff!
Attachments
As I've said before, it reminds me of a girl (amazingly enough, named Louise) I had a crush on a primary school.
If you’re struggling to breathe, phone 999 ffs.
Continued...
I pity the poor sods on duty at her local A&E today.
I pity the poor sods on duty at her local A&E today.
Maybe I’m odd but if I was struggling to breathe I wouldn’t be on twitter. I do wonder how much is pure fantasy
Same here. I'd be concentrating on, y'know, breathing in order to stay alive?
She exaggerates everything.
Might have to mute this because, y’know, if she suffocated and fucked off this mortal coil then I’m not sure I could give a shiny tit.
I was explaining to my Year 11 class about Guy Fawkes the other day. Although we are a British international school none of the kids have lived in the UK really (maybe a couple as babies) they took a bit of convincing that the Brits really burn an effigy of a bloke on a bonfire every year.
RSM is one of the reasons the NHS is on its knees- she knows better than all drs/ professionals. (Obv main reason is evil mismanagement and under funding)
RSM is one of the reasons the NHS is on its knees- she knows better than all drs/ professionals. (Obv main reason is evil mismanagement and under funding)
May I blushingly recommend they watch the Worzel Gummidge (from Mackenzie Crook) Guy Fawkes episode for homework if they can/have access. It’s a real treasure. Beautifully done (the whole series is, to be fair) and exceptional family viewing. I tried to explain bonfire night to a Scandinavian friend without too much luck. They do have https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walpurgis_Night so at least we had a point of reference even though they are for very different reasons and at different times.
RSM truly is a ridiculous creature for sure and I bet the Drs and nurses cringe themselves inside out at the sight of her being pushed in by RS dad who definitely doesn’t live with them. She would test any Hippocratic oath to its very limit.
Whenever she has these episodes, I just assume she has missed another zine deadline or has a social occasion she doesn’t fancy making the effort for. I am afraid I think she is about as genuine as a nine bob note.
She’s manage to tweet from the other side, slagging of St Peter himself for taking too long at the pearly gates
ooh I’ll look for this. We can get British Telly with a VPN.
I agree about the episodes. I think she has a few health issues, but who over 40 doesn’t? I picture her early 40s but hard paper round.
"Can't breathe... stats bad... A&E... last few threads didn't go viral...must tweet... "
- Roadsidemum
STAY STRONG, LOUISA! You're so kind and resilient. Alsodelightfully funny for the wrong reasons and, we suspect strongly, not very honest. But we'd miss you.
off topic:
settle in, I've a dramatic thread for you, as I am AussieRoadsideAunt:
It's the Queen's birthday long weekend in June - winter has begun in Australia - a long time, long ago near the Dreamtime (the 80s.) 1/7
All the people in the rural urban suburb gather in the afternoon to make an effigy of a guy with forks, using old clothes and pantyhose. 2/7
A huge bonfire is built, lots of old telephone books are cleared out of garages. As darkness falls, the bonfire is lit, barbies are cranked up and some twice-foil-wrapped damper awaits the later embers. 3/7
Firecrackers are pointed at siblings. Tiny parachutes weighted by burning metal float from the sky into people's excited upturned eyes. Children run to catch other parachutes, smashing their knees on giant slabs of sandstone. 4/7
Dogs and cats go crazy. The horses in the paddock next to the bonfire will not be suitable for pony club tomorrow. 5/7
No one under 40 knows what the hell is the purpose. A Vietnamese born couple asks an Indian Australian neighbour, "This is great, what amazing Australian cultural highlight are we commemorating?" "No idea, mate, let's ask Kev," he responds. 6/7
Kevin puts on his most annoying casually racist 'I'm a REAL Aussie' voice and says, "It's to celebrate a failed plot to blow up Parliament House one November in bloody old England. It's an Australian *tradition*, mate." 7/7
Everyone nods wisely: cool, lovely, as you were, great night. 8/7
On topic: mentions a horse, no one went to "A&E", the children wanted world peace for Christmas in July, Catherine didn't show up #yachtclub #snob
I'm so annoyed at the double post above. I waited AGES. Now I can't edit. In order for MAXIMUM LIKES (and because I don't have time to go to A&E tonight) I'm reposting.
settle in, I've a dramatic thread for you, as I am AussieRoadsideAunt:
It's the Queen's birthday long weekend in June - winter has begun in Australia - a long time, long ago near the Dreamtime (the 80s.) 1/7
All the people in the rural urban suburb gather in the afternoon to make an effigy of a guy with forks, using old clothes and pantyhose. 2/7
A huge bonfire is built, lots of old telephone books are cleared out of garages. As darkness falls, the bonfire is lit, barbies are cranked up and some twice-foil-wrapped damper awaits the later embers. 3/7
Firecrackers are pointed at siblings. Tiny parachutes weighted by burning metal float from the sky into people's excited upturned eyes. Children run to catch other parachutes, smashing their knees on giant slabs of sandstone. 4/7
Dogs and cats go crazy. The horses in the paddock next to the bonfire will not be suitable for pony club tomorrow. 5/7
No one under 40 knows what the hell is the purpose. A Vietnamese born couple asks an Indian Australian neighbour, "This is great, what amazing Australian cultural highlight are we commemorating?" "No idea, mate, let's ask Kev," he responds. 6/7
Kevin puts on his most annoying casually racist 'I'm a REAL Aussie' voice and says, "It's to celebrate a failed plot to blow up Parliament House one November in bloody old England. It's an Australian *tradition*, mate." 7/7
Everyone nods wisely: cool, lovely, as you were, great night. 8/7
On topic: mentions a horse, no one went to "A&E", the children wanted world peace for Christmas in July, Catherine didn't show up #yachtclub #snob
(As I said, I'm so annoyed at the double post above. I waited AGES. Now I can't edit. In order for MAXIMUM LIKES (and because I don't have time to go to A&E tonight) I'm reposting.)
OH FFS
I need a @mOD, stat!!!!! Otherwise I'm calling NHS!!!
- Roadsidemum
STAY STRONG, LOUISA! You're so kind and resilient. Also
off topic:
settle in, I've a dramatic thread for you, as I am AussieRoadsideAunt:
It's the Queen's birthday long weekend in June - winter has begun in Australia - a long time, long ago near the Dreamtime (the 80s.) 1/7
All the people in the rural urban suburb gather in the afternoon to make an effigy of a guy with forks, using old clothes and pantyhose. 2/7
A huge bonfire is built, lots of old telephone books are cleared out of garages. As darkness falls, the bonfire is lit, barbies are cranked up and some twice-foil-wrapped damper awaits the later embers. 3/7
Firecrackers are pointed at siblings. Tiny parachutes weighted by burning metal float from the sky into people's excited upturned eyes. Children run to catch other parachutes, smashing their knees on giant slabs of sandstone. 4/7
Dogs and cats go crazy. The horses in the paddock next to the bonfire will not be suitable for pony club tomorrow. 5/7
No one under 40 knows what the hell is the purpose. A Vietnamese born couple asks an Indian Australian neighbour, "This is great, what amazing Australian cultural highlight are we commemorating?" "No idea, mate, let's ask Kev," he responds. 6/7
Kevin puts on his most annoying casually racist 'I'm a REAL Aussie' voice and says, "It's to celebrate a failed plot to blow up Parliament House one November in bloody old England. It's an Australian *tradition*, mate." 7/7
Everyone nods wisely: cool, lovely, as you were, great night. 8/7
On topic: mentions a horse, no one went to "A&E", the children wanted world peace for Christmas in July, Catherine didn't show up #yachtclub #snob
I'm so annoyed at the double post above. I waited AGES. Now I can't edit. In order for MAXIMUM LIKES (and because I don't have time to go to A&E tonight) I'm reposting.
off topic:
settle in, I've a dramatic thread for you, as I am AussieRoadsideAunt:
It's the Queen's birthday long weekend in June - winter has begun in Australia - a long time, long ago near the Dreamtime (the 80s.) 1/7
All the people in the rural urban suburb gather in the afternoon to make an effigy of a guy with forks, using old clothes and pantyhose. 2/7
A huge bonfire is built, lots of old telephone books are cleared out of garages. As darkness falls, the bonfire is lit, barbies are cranked up and some twice-foil-wrapped damper awaits the later embers. 3/7
Firecrackers are pointed at siblings. Tiny parachutes weighted by burning metal float from the sky into people's excited upturned eyes. Children run to catch other parachutes, smashing their knees on giant slabs of sandstone. 4/7
Dogs and cats go crazy. The horses in the paddock next to the bonfire will not be suitable for pony club tomorrow. 5/7
No one under 40 knows what the hell is the purpose. A Vietnamese born couple asks an Indian Australian neighbour, "This is great, what amazing Australian cultural highlight are we commemorating?" "No idea, mate, let's ask Kev," he responds. 6/7
Kevin puts on his most annoying casually racist 'I'm a REAL Aussie' voice and says, "It's to celebrate a failed plot to blow up Parliament House one November in bloody old England. It's an Australian *tradition*, mate." 7/7
Everyone nods wisely: cool, lovely, as you were, great night. 8/7
On topic: mentions a horse, no one went to "A&E", the children wanted world peace for Christmas in July, Catherine didn't show up #yachtclub #snob
(As I said, I'm so annoyed at the double post above. I waited AGES. Now I can't edit. In order for MAXIMUM LIKES (and because I don't have time to go to A&E tonight) I'm reposting.)
OH FFS
I need a @mOD, stat!!!!! Otherwise I'm calling NHS!!!
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