I’ve just sent a message saying my sex drive is very high I need to do something and his response “get your vibrator sort yourself out.”
Lovely.
Lovely.
Relationship Issues - HELP 😞
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Reply “if I have to ‘sort myself out’ for 4 years, why are you here?”
I really feel for you and I say this with kindness but this isn’t a relationship. He’s actively avoiding you and his children and his excuse is he’s put on weight? That is so messed up and I hope your kids don’t feel rejected by him. I really think you need to cut ties with him because it doesn’t seem like he is invested in this at all. Really hope you are ok x
You deserve so much better than what he’s giving you in every aspect of the relationship.
I don’t know why he’s avoiding me. I’m broken xx
My friend has said he would happily come round tomorrow duck I said don’t. Wouldn’t be able to control myself. Friends with benefits would be frowned upon.
My friend has said he would happily come round tomorrow duck I said don’t. Wouldn’t be able to control myself. Friends with benefits would be frowned upon.
I’m going to say this and please know im saying it with nothing but kindness…
stop.
stop flogging a dead horse. Stop forcing something that just isn’t going to happen. It shouldn’t be this difficult and if you are having to push this hard, it’s not working.
He has emotionally and physically walked out of not only your relationship but your family as a whole. It’s been years. He isn’t going to change - he doesn’t want to. I know this is hard to hear and I’m sorry but he doesn’t want to be with you, he’s out.
I know you love him. I know this is hard. But you cannot carry on like this. You need to be the one to just stop it. This is only going to chip away at your self confidence if you allow it to carry on. You deserve so much more than this. He isn’t worth it.
I maybe shouldn’t be encouraging you but nobody else needs to know what you both get up to, if it’s what you both want it’s no one else’s business.
When did he move back to his mum’s?
so if you’ve been together 12 years, then he cheated on you right at the start of your relationship?
I don’t want to sound harsh, but I feel like this guy is just playing on your kindness and I feel like he has been doing it for a very long time. He’s been getting his cake and eating it too and you’ve been allowing it.
if he moved out because you were “moody” then not a chance would I have continued with the relationship, especially considering he’s left not only you, but also his children.
This seems a very odd set up to me and he clearly doesn’t want this relationship, but he is either too weak to tell you that or he wants to keep you right where he wants so that in case he changes his mind, he’s got you as a back up plan.
I would ditch him, go after this new guy and enjoy your life. Life is too short.
so if you’ve been together 12 years, then he cheated on you right at the start of your relationship?
I don’t want to sound harsh, but I feel like this guy is just playing on your kindness and I feel like he has been doing it for a very long time. He’s been getting his cake and eating it too and you’ve been allowing it.
if he moved out because you were “moody” then not a chance would I have continued with the relationship, especially considering he’s left not only you, but also his children.
This seems a very odd set up to me and he clearly doesn’t want this relationship, but he is either too weak to tell you that or he wants to keep you right where he wants so that in case he changes his mind, he’s got you as a back up plan.
I would ditch him, go after this new guy and enjoy your life. Life is too short.
he’s calling me tonight again for phone sex and I can’t blinking weight truth be told. He is filthy and it drives me wild. That’s terrible for me to say but it’s the truth.
I've read the full thread. You honestly deserve to be treated so much better then this.
he moved back to his mums 4 years ago.
He is very arrogant, stubborn and upfront. I’ve told him if he doesn’t wanna be with metell me and he said he’s happy. If I cheat he walks away.
I forgave him at the beginning but to be honest. It doesn’t look good for him does it?
Im going to be blunt here - it doesn't matter why he's avoiding you, the fact is that he is, and more importantly he's avoiding his responsibilities with his children, which is unforgivable. I know for you the fact that you don't have a sexual relationship seems to be your focus, maybe that's easier for you as you can see a physical resolution to this with your new/ old friend but the fact that he has abandoned his children and not seen them since March is the biggest issue here and it can't carry indefinitely like it is.
like I said upthread, you wanting to having a relationship with someone else, even if it's friends with benefits is understandable and couldn't be judged given the circumstances but be careful with your friend, he seems in a very bad place and has maybe put all his focus on you to avoid dealing with his own issues.
If phone sex with someone he knows as well as I know is shameful, I will admit I’d stop. But I feel like crap, I no longer need protection so my hormones are all regulated. Everytime I mention sex he either says it’s too early, too late, it’s wrong or “okay let’s talk about something else” the guy I’ve been talking too, oh god I got off just by him talking to me. That’s bad. 
You’re letting him have way too much power here. He had an affair, which you forgave, but if you do the same then he leaves? No sorry but that wouldn’t work for me. I’d tell him it’s over right now. Not a chance would I let a man have this much power over me.
He already has walked away. He is giving you nothing in this “relationship” - nothing. He pays for his kids - which is his obligation as a parent. You are getting nothing else from him. And sorry but he cheated on you in the past so how dare he have such a double standard!
This isn’t a relationship. He has fathered children with you, that’s it. He isn’t even bothering his a to be a father and actually take care of his children.
he sounds like an absolute hole.
To add if i did it all child maintenance would stop also. That’s his threat.
No, he doesn’t ask how they are I have to tell him they’re okay. Or what they’ve been up to.
Im okay thank you. Xx
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This guy is honestly ridiculous, I don’t even have words. He cheated, he threatened to stop child maintenance…he moved out 4 years ago and barely sees his kids…
OP text him that it’s over and go duck that other guy. duck him twice if you have to
OP text him that it’s over and go duck that other guy. duck him twice if you have to
right.
this guy is not a parent. And he is not your partner. He sounds like a controlling, emotionally abusive piece of tit.
contact your local citizens advice office. Explain that he is threatening to withhold child support and his reasons. He cannot control you like this.The money can be claimed via the CSA and they will presume him.
I’m sorry but he shows no interest in you and no interest in his children. He doesn’t care about any of you. You need to wake up and see this for what it is.
Sorry but if he’s going to cut off money to his children because of you cheating then he’s a vile piece of rum and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of needing his money and I’d tell him where to stick it. My mum raised three kids without any maintenance…
Also… if you really wanted to, you could go to the CSA and he would be forced to pay child maintenance. I still wouldn’t let him have this power.
Tbh I agree. You’ve told him you want someone else and he’s done nothing to show you he’s willing to fight for you other than say “no don’t do it” (did you tell him you’ve had phone sex with the other guy?).
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