Relationship Issues - HELP š
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Forgot āseeing what today bringsā.
The old friend is bad news, keep away from him because nothing good will come from it. Your kids dad is likely to run up your arse with false words so shut him down unless he talks about the kids. They are going to have such an unhealthy view of relationships.
The old friend is bad news, keep away from him because nothing good will come from it. Your kids dad is likely to run up your arse with false words so shut him down unless he talks about the kids. They are going to have such an unhealthy view of relationships.
Thanks but Iāve come to my senses that that is the worst thing possible with the way Iām feeling.
Yes he has got solicitors involved so thanks all.
CSA canāt do anything heās not at a fixed abode.
But Iām not bothered anymore with what people joke or make me out to be. I could potentially lose my kids especially with the malicious words and accusation.... but yeah, laugh....
like other people have done do what ya want.What a way with words
thanks.Nah itās alright yeah, thanks tho.
I thought your 'partner' lived with his mum so how can he be of no fixed address?Thanks but Iāve come to my senses that that is the worst thing possible with the way Iām feeling.
Yes he has got solicitors involved so thanks all.
CSA canāt do anything heās not at a fixed abode.
But Iām not bothered anymore with what people joke or make me out to be. I could potentially lose my kids especially with the malicious words and accusation.... but yeah, laugh....
Where does his post go to? Surely that will prove where he's living? I'm sensing there is a WHOLE lot more to this 'story' than we're being told. I notice you have almost completely avoided answering a lot of the pertinent questions being asked particularly by @Penguinandthepinecone
But it is heartening to see you seem to finally be thinking of your children rather than your sex drive.
You have been given a lot of good advice here on what steps to take next. I don't know that much about family law but I'm not sure why you would lose custody of your children to someone who you say hasn't seen or bothered with them for months....?
have you contacted citizens advice?Thanks but Iāve come to my senses that that is the worst thing possible with the way Iām feeling.
Yes he has got solicitors involved so thanks all.
CSA canāt do anything heās not at a fixed abode.
But Iām not bothered anymore with what people joke or make me out to be. I could potentially lose my kids especially with the malicious words and accusation.... but yeah, laugh....
Nah itās alright yeah, thanks tho.
how do you know he has solicitors involved?
he lives with his mother - thatās his home address. It makes no difference anyway, the CSA take the payments from his salary before he gets paid, itās an automatic deduction.
He lives with his mum but has no bills he isnāt on the council tax or tenancy. The CSA cannot track him down Iāve given him the location of where he residents and they canāt find him.
He doesnāt work.
He doesnāt work.
He informed me this lunch time he has instructed solicitors. Citizens advice have been great.
malicious allegations, social services.....I thought your 'partner' lived with his mum so how can he be of no fixed address?
I'm sensing there is a WHOLE lot more to this 'story' than we're being told. I notice you have almost completely avoided answering a lot of the pertinent questions being asked particularly by @Penguinandthepinecone
But it is heartening to see you seem to finally be thinking of your children rather than your sex drive.
You have been given a lot of good advice here on what steps to take next. I don't know that much about family law but I'm not sure why you would lose custody of your children to someone who you say hasn't seen or bothered with them for months....?
Right.
he doesnāt work - is there a reason why? How does he support himself if he doesnāt work?! Presumably if he isnāt working he is claiming money in the form of benefits? in which case, its very easy for him to be located because payments are all via bank transfer and linked to his NI number.
He is lying to you about solicitors. Please stop allowing him to manipulate you.
The firm I work for deals in some areas of family law, however I am by no means any expert. He can make allegations against you all he likes, however unless he has any evidence of these allegations, they will have little bearing in court. Providing your children are happy, well looked after and comfortable with you, which I am in no doubt they are, social services would not want to aid a man who does barely anything for the children in taking them away from you. They will always seek to keep children where they are happy. I would strongly advise seeking your own advice. Some firms offer a 30 mins free consultation, which I would seek if I were you.
Courts will ALWAYS expect matters to go through some form of mediation etc before going directly to court - court should be an absolute last resort if other resolution options have failed.
Let him take you to court, he probably wouldnāt turn up if the past 18 months are anything to go by and any false allegations can easily be resolved.
Are the malicious allegations you're talking about posts on here? If so I dont see anything malicious.
Also if you don't want anything to be brought against you I would say don't post about it on such a public forum and seek help and advice from other areas...
Also if you don't want anything to be brought against you I would say don't post about it on such a public forum and seek help and advice from other areas...
She just seems to care more about getting shagged than anything else
It makes me worry the kids arenāt being put first.
I would take his assertion that he has instructed a solicitor with a pinch of salt. If he isn't working then he probably does not have a lot of money. Legal aid for family law matters is very limited (I don't want to give the wrong advice so I won't say when and when it is not available). Anyway, my point is that I think he is lying about getting a solicitor. Notwithstanding the financial issues, it does take a few days to call around firms and get an appointment.
I am a solicitor so I can be pretty confident of what I have told you.
I am a solicitor so I can be pretty confident of what I have told you.
the malicious allegations he has made against me, sorry.
my children are always put first.
thanks for making me feel like a failure.
If my children werenāt put first why do I work around them to make sure I give them a lovely childhood.
If they were low priority why do they have new clothing and shoes when needed and I leave myself last, I have a pair of shoes with the soles hanging off and a pair of boots. The shoes Iāve applied gorilla glue because I am on a very tight budget and I donāt allow them to go without. I donāt use credit as I cannot afford it back.
if I donāt put them first. Why do I make sure they always have food and are clean, showered and some days I have missed breakfast or dinner to make sure they have enough to eat until we have our online food order delivered.
If they are low priority why do I work around them and give them as much time as absolutely possible? Why do they have a lovely family that would do anything for them?
if they were not thought of, why did I move house to give them a bigger garden and security?
Tell me, if they are not put first why did I seek advice in the first place.
if I donāt put them first unfortunately no I cannot afford Disney land Paris #badmumalert why do I try my absolute best with days out such as bowling, mini golf, parks, ice cream... why do I do my best with UK holidays just to give them a vacation?
I would like to thank @BettyCrockerr for your help and advice, as others in terms of child maintenance which is a long process as well as Citizens Advice.
Thank you very much.
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Hope youāre ok OP. Clearly what you described as initially about sex was actually something deeper that was going on. From what youāve said, it seems youāve been looking out for your kids for many years. Iām not personally going to judge you for wanting a night for yourself. But I guess that particular man might not be the best choice.
Agreed with everyone else, the whole solicitor thing seems like something designed to scare you. Just say āokā and let him get on with it. If what youāve said is accurate, he hasnāt got a leg to stand on.
All the relationship advice threads seem to take a turn eventually. Might be better to take a step back.
Agreed with everyone else, the whole solicitor thing seems like something designed to scare you. Just say āokā and let him get on with it. If what youāve said is accurate, he hasnāt got a leg to stand on.
All the relationship advice threads seem to take a turn eventually. Might be better to take a step back.
thank you, I am stepping away for some time now.
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