Relationship Issues - HELP 😞

[BettyCrockerr]

thank you xx



because I love him he gave me children.

None of it makes sense though.

you don’t sound like you even have any semblance of a relationship. You don’t live together, you haven’t seen him in months, you don’t have a sexual relationship…. I’m not seeing what exactly you are getting out of it?

 

[Very traditional]

thank you xx



because I love him he gave me children.

I do understand but you deserve so much more and so do your children. He seems to have completely checked out or your family life and somehow convinced you that it's your fault because you were moody.

 

[HankMcPrank]

None of it makes sense though.

you don’t sound like you even have any semblance of a relationship. You don’t live together, you haven’t seen him in months, you don’t have a sexual relationship…. I’m not seeing what exactly you are getting out of it?

I send pics of kids he hasn’t seen them for ages - but he does pay up.

Thank you all xx

 

[Very traditional]

I send pics of kids he hasn’t seen them for ages - but he does pay up.

Thank you all xx

I think you need to have a really good think about what's best for you and your children. Your relationship with their father is effectively over and he has abandoned them as well as you. It's great that he is financially responsible but as their father he should be seeing them at the very minimum. How on earth have you explained this situation to them?

 

[HankMcPrank]

I think you need to have a really good think about what's best for you and your children. Your relationship with their father is effectively over and he has abandoned them as well as you. It's great that he is financially responsible but as their father he should be seeing them at the very minimum. How on earth have you explained this situation to them?

they have understood dads always at work.
he works at the weekends but no I’ve had to be dishonest to them.

With your update about living apart. Are you sure he isn’t seeing someone else?

he tells me he will remain loyal. The girl he cheated on me with in 2009 he has on FB, she loves any pictures and it makes me uncomfortable but he called her a TW*T.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I send pics of kids he hasn’t seen them for ages - but he does pay up.

Thank you all xx

Unfortunately I think you need to take a step back and look at this situation objectively.

this isn’t a relationship. He’s left you and your children, he is providing nothing but some financial support for his kids which is the bare minimum he should be providing. That’s it. There doesn’t sound like there anything else going on between the two of you. Why on Earth hasn’t he seen you or your children in months?

 

[HankMcPrank]

Unfortunately I think you need to take a step back and look at this situation objectively.

this isn’t a relationship. He’s left you and your children, he is providing nothing but some financial support for his kids which is the bare minimum he should be providing. That’s it. There doesn’t sound like there anything else going on between the two of you. Why on Earth hasn’t he seen you or your children in months?

Honestly? I don’t know. I genuinely don’t know. The only crap he feeds me is “I’ve put weight on I’m fat”

 

[newtoyou]

Honestly? I don’t know. I genuinely don’t know. The only crap he feeds me is “I’ve put weight on I’m fat”

That is a bizarre excuse for not being a dad to his kids. Sounds like there’s something going on with his mental health perhaps. Maybe you should tell him you want a break from the relationship.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Honestly? I don’t know. I genuinely don’t know. The only crap he feeds me is “I’ve put weight on I’m fat”

So what has him putting on weight got to do with anything though? Sorry but it’s nonsense.
Forget him for a minute. What do YOU want? What do you want your life to be like? You deserve so much more than this. He’s not offering you anything.

I think there’s more going on here than he’s letting on. Another women perhaps or he’s using escorts/webcam girls etc

 

[Raininvain]

It doesn’t sound like there is a relationship at all on his part. He won’t change.
End it, be thankful for your kids and find someone that’s worth it.

This 100% and look for a man who wants to be with you in all aspects. Life is too short. You are wasting your time with him.

 

[Lynseyp]

Right, so correct me if im wrong. You did live together but he moved out due to your mood swings, you have kids together too but he hasn't seen them....
I would seriously have a word with this guy, this isn't a relationship, you clearly want different things to him. From what you have said, it doesn't surprise me if he's still has some involvement with the woman he cheated with.
Yes, its easier to say that your partner dislikes her and calls her names but that doesn't mean anything. Couples stand in church when getting married and say their vows and it means sod all to some of them as they still cheat.
Why isn't he unfriending this woman from social media?
For you: Whats the point in carrying on if this isn't the relationship you want. Think you need to have a serious word with him and ask him what he wants out of this relationship. Do you have a good relationship with your partners mum. Is it worth talking to her?

 

[HankMcPrank]

All I want is a happy future. Me and my children to have a wonderful life. No worries about money, (which is what we have) and to have sex three times a week if not more does that sound selfish? But overall, I don’t want the unknowing. The false promises.

I don’t know about the other girl. I think somethings going on, I convinced myself at one point. I didn’t sleep I didn’t eat.

 

[Raininvain]

All I want is a happy future. Me and my children to have a wonderful life. No worries about money, (which is what we have) and to have sex three times a week if not more does that sound selfish? But overall, I don’t want the unknowing. The false promises.

I don’t know about the other girl. I think somethings going on, I convinced myself at one point. I didn’t sleep I didn’t eat.

Do you honestly think you are going to get this from your current partner? Dont be stringing yourself along here.x

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I’m sorry but if it was me I’d personally end it, it sounds like you’re making all the effort and getting nothing in return.

The fact he hasn’t seen his children because he’s put on weight is an absolute ridiculous excuse in my opinion and he needs to get a grip.

I’d also tread carefully with your friend a depressed and suicidal person can be a bit all of the place emotionally.

 

[Scorpihoe]

OP I’m really sorry but I think you should leave…he sounds like a burden more than anything

 

[HankMcPrank]

Thanks all - you are all echoing my thoughts. He’s at work today no doubt he will call me later will tell him I will call him tomorrow xx

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Even if you put the sex to one side - hes not offering you anything else. Your partner should be exactly that - a partner. Someone who wants to be with you and share all the responsibilities of life with you - the good and bad. He may provide money for his kids but that’s it - he’s not even bothering to come to see them, to help raise them, to share the responsibility of that with you.
his actions & behaviour is telling you everything you need to know. The best thing to do for yourself & your children is to end it - officially. Set yourself free and allow yourself to find someone who wants to be a real partner and a real parent.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

He’s not even bothering with his kids. That alone should be enough for you to give up on him.

You need to vanish and be silent. He knows where you and your kids are, have absolutely no contact from you and see if he comes back.

 

[HankMcPrank]

He’s not even bothering with his kids. That alone should be enough for you to give up on him.

You need to vanish and be silent. He knows where you and your kids are, have absolutely no contact from you and see if he comes back.

good idea. Thank you. Xx

 

[LaurieLaurie]

good idea. Thank you. Xx

I’d bet you anything you will feel better for it in a weeks time and realise he’s bringing nothing to your life.