Relationship advice

[LittleRoots]

Thank you all confirming what I think as I agree with it all he’s not usually active on social media (like myself) the rare times I do post something he’ll like it a few days week later as he was never online but now it’s constantly online and is posting things himself which he says is just for work people/work jokes despite having the same job for years and it’s only been recently since he got new interns to train. I’m 99% out the door at this point I can’t be bothered with his immaturity been together over 5 years keep waiting for him to mature but never happens
---
I’m pretty sure he is not cheating as from what I can see it all seems one sided from him but I think that might be just as bad

 

[xcyber]

Thank you all confirming what I think as I agree with it all he’s not usually active on social media (like myself) the rare times I do post something he’ll like it a few days week later as he was never online but now it’s constantly online and is posting things himself which he says is just for work people/work jokes despite having the same job for years and it’s only been recently since he got new interns to train. I’m 99% out the door at this point I can’t be bothered with his immaturity been together over 5 years keep waiting for him to mature but never happens
---
I’m pretty sure he is not cheating as from what I can see it all seems one sided from him but I think that might be just as bad

He’s probably not cheating but he’s putting the feelers out to see if anyone bites. Cringe. And it definitely sounds like this has been triggered by an influx of young interns - midlife crisis lol. I think it sounds like you know what you’ve got to do. Dump him before he lines up a replacement and leaves which is probably what he’s subconsciously doing. What a fool.

 

[LittleRoots]

He’s probably not cheating but he’s putting the feelers out to see if anyone bites. Cringe. And it definitely sounds like this has been triggered by an influx of young interns - midlife crisis lol. I think it sounds like you know what you’ve got to do. Dump him before he lines up a replacement and leaves which is probably what he’s subconsciously doing. What a fool.

this is very true tbh, one dumb reason I’ve stayed is because I know if we break up hed date someone a lot younger and I’d feel like crap about myself which is silly

 

[xcyber]

this is very true tbh, one dumb reason I’ve stayed is because I know if we break up hed date someone a lot younger and I’d feel like crap about myself which is silly

You’d only feel crap for a little bit and then you’d meet an actual man and not a manchild. Then you’ll look back at him and cringe because he’ll still be the same - liking insta pics of young girls. Some guys never grow out of it. Just imagine him being middle aged and doing the exact same thing.

 

[mashedbananapancakes]

Fellow Tattlers - I need your help. Buckle up as this might be a long one!

I am 35F and my partner 42M - we have been together since August 2019 and moved in together in March 2020.

Of course, when we met we were in a little bubble of lust and had a great time together, but after being together for a month or so, he made a comment about wanting a partner who was in shape and physically attractive. I am about 4 stone overweight and have yo-yo'd for most of my adult life. I want to get fit and healthy and agreed that I would make a conscious effort - but not just for him but for me too.

Skip forward to Spring 2021 and him walking out of his job. He didn't work for a few months and then got himself a WFH job which he stuck at for 6 months. In December 2021, he quit that job. I could see it was making him miserable and said that I could financially support us on my wage for a few months before things would be really difficult. We agreed he would use that time to find something else and all would be well.

During this time he basically spend his entire day gaming whilst I was out working. No housework, no cooking, no nothing done in the house - so when I got home from work, it was all on me.

He turned 40 in the summer of 2022 and he'd said a few times that he wanted a gaming PC (costing around £1500) and 'maybe a night or two away somewhere'. I couldn't afford a gaming PC (bearing in mind, we are getting by off my sole income) so I booked a few days away in the Peak District in a cute little cottage where I thought we could switch off and just have a nice few days. Well, this didn't go down well and when we got home he basically said I had ruined his 40th and I clearly didn't know him at all. Long story short - we argued and made up but he said he could never forgive me.

It's now January 2024 - he is still not working or contributing at all and I am having to lend him money to pay his bills. He has no drive, no motivation and we do not have what I would say is a 'relationship' but just two people living their lives under the same roof. I am miserable, we don't do anything together - he still spends all day gaming while I go out to work. He has constantly made comments about my weight and how I look for the duration of our relationship.

Last week, after me being in tears most nights he told me I 'needed to get my head checked' and I told him that my head is fine and that he is the problem. We talked, I told him I needed space. I stayed with a friend fir a few nights at the weekend - got absolutely blind drunk on Saturday and instead of going home to talk on Sunday, I stayed away. He got pretty crappy with me when I told him this and I also said I didn't think I was in love with him anymore.

When I got back on Monday, he'd text me saying sorry, he didn't realise how much things had taken a toll on me, he wanted to get back to the place we were in before and he hoped we could spend time together this week and talk. He said he'd be lost without me, he wants to be together and can't imagine not having me in his life and asked me to not give up on him.

We have talked and I now feel quilted to saying yes to giving him the chance to change things. I can't forget the things he said about my appearance (although now he says he'd rather have me exactly as I am than not at all - but he thinks both of us getting healthy together would change our relationship entirely). I feel sick at the thought of now telling him that I can't do it - he has been helping around the house for the last two days and we've been out for a few walks together. But I don't feel that I will ever be able to forget everything and be 100% in again and I don't know how long I can go along playing happy family.

My friends and family have begged me to end things and get out of the emotional abuse but I just don't know what to do next.

What would you tattlers do?

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Please end it, you are worth so much more than this x

 

[MacPishFlaps]

Fellow Tattlers - I need your help. Buckle up as this might be a long one!

I am 35F and my partner 42M - we have been together since August 2019 and moved in together in March 2020.

Of course, when we met we were in a little bubble of lust and had a great time together, but after being together for a month or so, he made a comment about wanting a partner who was in shape and physically attractive. I am about 4 stone overweight and have yo-yo'd for most of my adult life. I want to get fit and healthy and agreed that I would make a conscious effort - but not just for him but for me too.

Skip forward to Spring 2021 and him walking out of his job. He didn't work for a few months and then got himself a WFH job which he stuck at for 6 months. In December 2021, he quit that job. I could see it was making him miserable and said that I could financially support us on my wage for a few months before things would be really difficult. We agreed he would use that time to find something else and all would be well.

During this time he basically spend his entire day gaming whilst I was out working. No housework, no cooking, no nothing done in the house - so when I got home from work, it was all on me.

He turned 40 in the summer of 2022 and he'd said a few times that he wanted a gaming PC (costing around £1500) and 'maybe a night or two away somewhere'. I couldn't afford a gaming PC (bearing in mind, we are getting by off my sole income) so I booked a few days away in the Peak District in a cute little cottage where I thought we could switch off and just have a nice few days. Well, this didn't go down well and when we got home he basically said I had ruined his 40th and I clearly didn't know him at all. Long story short - we argued and made up but he said he could never forgive me.

It's now January 2024 - he is still not working or contributing at all and I am having to lend him money to pay his bills. He has no drive, no motivation and we do not have what I would say is a 'relationship' but just two people living their lives under the same roof. I am miserable, we don't do anything together - he still spends all day gaming while I go out to work. He has constantly made comments about my weight and how I look for the duration of our relationship.

Last week, after me being in tears most nights he told me I 'needed to get my head checked' and I told him that my head is fine and that he is the problem. We talked, I told him I needed space. I stayed with a friend fir a few nights at the weekend - got absolutely blind drunk on Saturday and instead of going home to talk on Sunday, I stayed away. He got pretty crappy with me when I told him this and I also said I didn't think I was in love with him anymore.

When I got back on Monday, he'd text me saying sorry, he didn't realise how much things had taken a toll on me, he wanted to get back to the place we were in before and he hoped we could spend time together this week and talk. He said he'd be lost without me, he wants to be together and can't imagine not having me in his life and asked me to not give up on him.

We have talked and I now feel quilted to saying yes to giving him the chance to change things. I can't forget the things he said about my appearance (although now he says he'd rather have me exactly as I am than not at all - but he thinks both of us getting healthy together would change our relationship entirely). I feel sick at the thought of now telling him that I can't do it - he has been helping around the house for the last two days and we've been out for a few walks together. But I don't feel that I will ever be able to forget everything and be 100% in again and I don't know how long I can go along playing happy family.

My friends and family have begged me to end things and get out of the emotional abuse but I just don't know what to do next.

What would you tattlers do?

Dump this rooster lodger

 

[ImDavidBrent]

Easier said than done I know! Believe me but I would send him packing! He’s a walking red flag.
I think in time you’d also become to feel much happier without him.

 

[Tommyb]

Fellow Tattlers - I need your help. Buckle up as this might be a long one!

I am 35F and my partner 42M - we have been together since August 2019 and moved in together in March 2020.

Of course, when we met we were in a little bubble of lust and had a great time together, but after being together for a month or so, he made a comment about wanting a partner who was in shape and physically attractive. I am about 4 stone overweight and have yo-yo'd for most of my adult life. I want to get fit and healthy and agreed that I would make a conscious effort - but not just for him but for me too.

Skip forward to Spring 2021 and him walking out of his job. He didn't work for a few months and then got himself a WFH job which he stuck at for 6 months. In December 2021, he quit that job. I could see it was making him miserable and said that I could financially support us on my wage for a few months before things would be really difficult. We agreed he would use that time to find something else and all would be well.

During this time he basically spend his entire day gaming whilst I was out working. No housework, no cooking, no nothing done in the house - so when I got home from work, it was all on me.

He turned 40 in the summer of 2022 and he'd said a few times that he wanted a gaming PC (costing around £1500) and 'maybe a night or two away somewhere'. I couldn't afford a gaming PC (bearing in mind, we are getting by off my sole income) so I booked a few days away in the Peak District in a cute little cottage where I thought we could switch off and just have a nice few days. Well, this didn't go down well and when we got home he basically said I had ruined his 40th and I clearly didn't know him at all. Long story short - we argued and made up but he said he could never forgive me.

It's now January 2024 - he is still not working or contributing at all and I am having to lend him money to pay his bills. He has no drive, no motivation and we do not have what I would say is a 'relationship' but just two people living their lives under the same roof. I am miserable, we don't do anything together - he still spends all day gaming while I go out to work. He has constantly made comments about my weight and how I look for the duration of our relationship.

Last week, after me being in tears most nights he told me I 'needed to get my head checked' and I told him that my head is fine and that he is the problem. We talked, I told him I needed space. I stayed with a friend fir a few nights at the weekend - got absolutely blind drunk on Saturday and instead of going home to talk on Sunday, I stayed away. He got pretty crappy with me when I told him this and I also said I didn't think I was in love with him anymore.

When I got back on Monday, he'd text me saying sorry, he didn't realise how much things had taken a toll on me, he wanted to get back to the place we were in before and he hoped we could spend time together this week and talk. He said he'd be lost without me, he wants to be together and can't imagine not having me in his life and asked me to not give up on him.

We have talked and I now feel quilted to saying yes to giving him the chance to change things. I can't forget the things he said about my appearance (although now he says he'd rather have me exactly as I am than not at all - but he thinks both of us getting healthy together would change our relationship entirely). I feel sick at the thought of now telling him that I can't do it - he has been helping around the house for the last two days and we've been out for a few walks together. But I don't feel that I will ever be able to forget everything and be 100% in again and I don't know how long I can go along playing happy family.

My friends and family have begged me to end things and get out of the emotional abuse but I just don't know what to do next.

What would you tattlers do?

Hand on heart I would have left a long time ago. You are being used sweetheart. You sound so lovely. Would you treat someone the way he treats you? Why' are you accepting this?.

I bet in getting rid of him you find alot of your problems disappear and your confidence grows.

You shouldn't be supporting a 40 year old man. What is he adding to your life!

Please listen to those that care about you!

 

[Happyvalley]

Fellow Tattlers - I need your help. Buckle up as this might be a long one!

I am 35F and my partner 42M - we have been together since August 2019 and moved in together in March 2020.

Of course, when we met we were in a little bubble of lust and had a great time together, but after being together for a month or so, he made a comment about wanting a partner who was in shape and physically attractive. I am about 4 stone overweight and have yo-yo'd for most of my adult life. I want to get fit and healthy and agreed that I would make a conscious effort - but not just for him but for me too.

Skip forward to Spring 2021 and him walking out of his job. He didn't work for a few months and then got himself a WFH job which he stuck at for 6 months. In December 2021, he quit that job. I could see it was making him miserable and said that I could financially support us on my wage for a few months before things would be really difficult. We agreed he would use that time to find something else and all would be well.

During this time he basically spend his entire day gaming whilst I was out working. No housework, no cooking, no nothing done in the house - so when I got home from work, it was all on me.

He turned 40 in the summer of 2022 and he'd said a few times that he wanted a gaming PC (costing around £1500) and 'maybe a night or two away somewhere'. I couldn't afford a gaming PC (bearing in mind, we are getting by off my sole income) so I booked a few days away in the Peak District in a cute little cottage where I thought we could switch off and just have a nice few days. Well, this didn't go down well and when we got home he basically said I had ruined his 40th and I clearly didn't know him at all. Long story short - we argued and made up but he said he could never forgive me.

It's now January 2024 - he is still not working or contributing at all and I am having to lend him money to pay his bills. He has no drive, no motivation and we do not have what I would say is a 'relationship' but just two people living their lives under the same roof. I am miserable, we don't do anything together - he still spends all day gaming while I go out to work. He has constantly made comments about my weight and how I look for the duration of our relationship.

Last week, after me being in tears most nights he told me I 'needed to get my head checked' and I told him that my head is fine and that he is the problem. We talked, I told him I needed space. I stayed with a friend fir a few nights at the weekend - got absolutely blind drunk on Saturday and instead of going home to talk on Sunday, I stayed away. He got pretty crappy with me when I told him this and I also said I didn't think I was in love with him anymore.

When I got back on Monday, he'd text me saying sorry, he didn't realise how much things had taken a toll on me, he wanted to get back to the place we were in before and he hoped we could spend time together this week and talk. He said he'd be lost without me, he wants to be together and can't imagine not having me in his life and asked me to not give up on him.

We have talked and I now feel quilted to saying yes to giving him the chance to change things. I can't forget the things he said about my appearance (although now he says he'd rather have me exactly as I am than not at all - but he thinks both of us getting healthy together would change our relationship entirely). I feel sick at the thought of now telling him that I can't do it - he has been helping around the house for the last two days and we've been out for a few walks together. But I don't feel that I will ever be able to forget everything and be 100% in again and I don't know how long I can go along playing happy family.

My friends and family have begged me to end things and get out of the emotional abuse but I just don't know what to do next.

What would you tattlers do?

He’s now panicking because if you end it, he has to get a job and leave his cushy life. You’re worth so much more, he’s making you miserable, emotionally abusing you and draining you financially. You have nothing to gain from staying with him but everything to lose

 

[ImDavidBrent]

He’s also been lowering your confidence with the weight comments so that you’re made to feel you won’t do better than him. He sounds like a right piece of work.

 

[littlepup]

Please end it, you are worth so much more than this x

This. Is he finally seeeing the light and trying or is he just panicking that his gravy train is ending.
Sounds like the latter. I don’t think you can come back from this or if there’s anything to salvage sadly. From what you’ve said, he’s not benefitting or giving you anything at all.
It’s better to be unhappy (in the short term) alone but with the prospect that better is coming than throwing your future after your past by staying in a situation that’s not making you happy or serving you in any way.

 

[mashedbananapancakes]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my enormous post and for your kind replies.

I think the more I talk about it, the more I know in my mind that I need to end it for good.

Now just need to pluck up the courage to say it out loud

 

[ImDavidBrent]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my enormous post and for your kind replies.

I think the more I talk about it, the more I know in my mind that I need to end it for good.

Now just need to pluck up the courage to say it out loud

You got this!!

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my enormous post and for your kind replies.

I think the more I talk about it, the more I know in my mind that I need to end it for good.

Now just need to pluck up the courage to say it out loud

You have all of us supporting you and cheering you on

 

[xcyber]

Fellow Tattlers - I need your help. Buckle up as this might be a long one!

I am 35F and my partner 42M - we have been together since August 2019 and moved in together in March 2020.

Of course, when we met we were in a little bubble of lust and had a great time together, but after being together for a month or so, he made a comment about wanting a partner who was in shape and physically attractive. I am about 4 stone overweight and have yo-yo'd for most of my adult life. I want to get fit and healthy and agreed that I would make a conscious effort - but not just for him but for me too.

Skip forward to Spring 2021 and him walking out of his job. He didn't work for a few months and then got himself a WFH job which he stuck at for 6 months. In December 2021, he quit that job. I could see it was making him miserable and said that I could financially support us on my wage for a few months before things would be really difficult. We agreed he would use that time to find something else and all would be well.

During this time he basically spend his entire day gaming whilst I was out working. No housework, no cooking, no nothing done in the house - so when I got home from work, it was all on me.

He turned 40 in the summer of 2022 and he'd said a few times that he wanted a gaming PC (costing around £1500) and 'maybe a night or two away somewhere'. I couldn't afford a gaming PC (bearing in mind, we are getting by off my sole income) so I booked a few days away in the Peak District in a cute little cottage where I thought we could switch off and just have a nice few days. Well, this didn't go down well and when we got home he basically said I had ruined his 40th and I clearly didn't know him at all. Long story short - we argued and made up but he said he could never forgive me.

It's now January 2024 - he is still not working or contributing at all and I am having to lend him money to pay his bills. He has no drive, no motivation and we do not have what I would say is a 'relationship' but just two people living their lives under the same roof. I am miserable, we don't do anything together - he still spends all day gaming while I go out to work. He has constantly made comments about my weight and how I look for the duration of our relationship.

Last week, after me being in tears most nights he told me I 'needed to get my head checked' and I told him that my head is fine and that he is the problem. We talked, I told him I needed space. I stayed with a friend fir a few nights at the weekend - got absolutely blind drunk on Saturday and instead of going home to talk on Sunday, I stayed away. He got pretty crappy with me when I told him this and I also said I didn't think I was in love with him anymore.

When I got back on Monday, he'd text me saying sorry, he didn't realise how much things had taken a toll on me, he wanted to get back to the place we were in before and he hoped we could spend time together this week and talk. He said he'd be lost without me, he wants to be together and can't imagine not having me in his life and asked me to not give up on him.

We have talked and I now feel quilted to saying yes to giving him the chance to change things. I can't forget the things he said about my appearance (although now he says he'd rather have me exactly as I am than not at all - but he thinks both of us getting healthy together would change our relationship entirely). I feel sick at the thought of now telling him that I can't do it - he has been helping around the house for the last two days and we've been out for a few walks together. But I don't feel that I will ever be able to forget everything and be 100% in again and I don't know how long I can go along playing happy family.

My friends and family have begged me to end things and get out of the emotional abuse but I just don't know what to do next.

What would you tattlers do?

Of course he can’t live without you, you’re paying all his bills. Dump this waste of space. And don’t spend another penny on him.
---
And don’t leave your home. Make sure he’s the one who leaves when you end things.

 

[Becca0888]

Hey guys!!
I am not sure if this is the correct thread so I apologise in advance if not

Myself and my partner have been together since 2015, we were 26 now 34, within the first few months we had discussed where we would love to see ourselves in 5+ years, what we hoped to do in life and not live with regrets.
My main goals was to have children, my partner agreed.
A year later we had moved in together and got a mortgage, two years go by and the topic of having children came up, my partner shut it down immediately and said he didn’t want children has it didn’t give him any purpose in life, this obviously broke me has I couldn’t believe I had waited 2 years for him to just change his mind out of nowhere, I know this sounds dramatic but I almost felt like I had waisted my time with someone I believed to have a future with!
I kind of let him think I had forgotten about having children and that I weren’t that fussed over it but then I brought it up again not long after, my partner then told me “one day” but then it would change again to “no”
We had a massive falling out because I believe that he doesn’t want to (doesn’t have to) have children and I feel like I’m almost allowing him to have that luxury but my wants in life are sitting on a shelf waiting for “one day”

we have NEVER used protection, never been on any form of contraception, only ever used the ‘pull out method’
In 8 years he has only ever not pulled out twice and that was 2 weeks ago and just before Halloween last year.

let’s just say, we are 8 years in (almost 9) no children!
it really breaks my heart that I can’t be a mum, I love my partner with everything but most days I feel like I’m living my life with regrets and that’s not what I want to do.
I asked my partner again today and he’s told me he’s sick of me asking him, he says the more I ask the more it makes him not want to has he feels like I’m rushing him!
he doesn’t seem to understand that we have been together nearly 9 years, it’s not like we are in the first year!!
Please help.

 

[UndrTheCosh]

Hmm. Part of me thinks; well, he made it clear years ago he doesn’t want kids. Then on the flip side, he’s prepared to sling one up you unprotected.

Sounds like he needs an ultimatum - properly try for children or you leave.
---

Thank you all confirming what I think as I agree with it all he’s not usually active on social media (like myself) the rare times I do post something he’ll like it a few days week later as he was never online but now it’s constantly online and is posting things himself which he says is just for work people/work jokes despite having the same job for years and it’s only been recently since he got new interns to train. I’m 99% out the door at this point I can’t be bothered with his immaturity been together over 5 years keep waiting for him to mature but never happens
---
I’m pretty sure he is not cheating as from what I can see it all seems one sided from him but I think that might be just as bad

The fact you need to stalk his activity tells you all you need to know about the relationship.

He’s no doubt knocking one out on the regular looking at photos of his colleagues.

Leave him, girly

 

[littlepup]

Hey guys!!
I am not sure if this is the correct thread so I apologise in advance if not

Myself and my partner have been together since 2015, we were 26 now 34, within the first few months we had discussed where we would love to see ourselves in 5+ years, what we hoped to do in life and not live with regrets.
My main goals was to have children, my partner agreed.
A year later we had moved in together and got a mortgage, two years go by and the topic of having children came up, my partner shut it down immediately and said he didn’t want children has it didn’t give him any purpose in life, this obviously broke me has I couldn’t believe I had waited 2 years for him to just change his mind out of nowhere, I know this sounds dramatic but I almost felt like I had waisted my time with someone I believed to have a future with!
I kind of let him think I had forgotten about having children and that I weren’t that fussed over it but then I brought it up again not long after, my partner then told me “one day” but then it would change again to “no”
We had a massive falling out because I believe that he doesn’t want to (doesn’t have to) have children and I feel like I’m almost allowing him to have that luxury but my wants in life are sitting on a shelf waiting for “one day”

we have NEVER used protection, never been on any form of contraception, only ever used the ‘pull out method’
In 8 years he has only ever not pulled out twice and that was 2 weeks ago and just before Halloween last year.

let’s just say, we are 8 years in (almost 9) no children!
it really breaks my heart that I can’t be a mum, I love my partner with everything but most days I feel like I’m living my life with regrets and that’s not what I want to do.
I asked my partner again today and he’s told me he’s sick of me asking him, he says the more I ask the more it makes him not want to has he feels like I’m rushing him!
he doesn’t seem to understand that we have been together nearly 9 years, it’s not like we are in the first year!!
Please help.

Can you genuinely be happy in life without children? Because I don’t think having children with him is an option here. It’s stay and be childless or leave and take your chances with another relationship.

People who don’t want children shouldn’t have children. They almost never make good parents. We’d love to think they’d discover the magic and wonder how they lived without them but it’s just not the reality, having kids is bloody hard work, you have to want it. Having children with this man will probably lead to resentment from you when he doesn’t step up (no one talks about the resentment you feel as a new Mum even in a balanced relationship) and resentment from him toward you for ‘pushing him’ into something he didn’t want, ‘forcing’ into the responsibility of it. The relationship would likely breakdown then you’re a single Mum with a reluctant or no co-parent.
Unfortunately when it comes to having kids there’s no half way compromise and after 9 years it seems like his position is clear.
Withdrawal is only about 80% effective so it’s a massively risky method. If you’re sort of hoping it’ll happen and he’ll have to face up to it, is that how you want to conceive anyway?

“he says the more I ask the more it makes him not want to” - this is an unbelievably childish attitude. If you can’t have open lines of communication without being shut down, it also doesn’t bode well for the relationship full stop, let alone co-parenting.

 

[Becca0888]

Can you genuinely be happy in life without children? Because I don’t think having children with him is an option here. It’s stay and be childless or leave and take your chances with another relationship.

People who don’t want children shouldn’t have children. They almost never make good parents. We’d love to think they’d discover the magic and wonder how they lived without them but it’s just not the reality, having kids is bloody hard work, you have to want it. Having children with this man will probably lead to resentment from you when he doesn’t step up (no one talks about the resentment you feel as a new Mum even in a balanced relationship) and resentment from him toward you for ‘pushing him’ into something he didn’t want, ‘forcing’ into the responsibility of it. The relationship would likely breakdown then you’re a single Mum with a reluctant or no co-parent.
Unfortunately when it comes to having kids there’s no half way compromise and after 9 years it seems like his position is clear.
Withdrawal is only about 80% effective so it’s a massively risky method. If you’re sort of hoping it’ll happen and he’ll have to face up to it, is that how you want to conceive anyway?

“he says the more I ask the more it makes him not want to” - this is an unbelievably childish attitude. If you can’t have open lines of communication without being shut down, it also doesn’t bode well for the relationship full stop, let alone co-parenting.

When we first met I already was a single parent to one, he has been a amazing step dad to my son, he told me he wanted children but for the past 6 years it’s been ‘one day’ I am very family oriented so having children of my own was always something I wanted to have and my partner told me he loved that about me, I have worked has a midwife since I was 19, my partner has a very good job also.
I wanted to get with someone who had the same if not similar life goals has me so that this wouldn’t happen, I was lead to believe we would have this life together but honestly nothing we saw ourselves doing from 19 has happened. I’d hate to get to 50 and look back on my life with regrets.
Has for the comment ‘can you genuinely be happy in life without children’ it’s not has simple has that when you wake up everyday for 9 years with a ache in your heart knowing your son won’t have a sibling and that you really want something but can’t have it, it’s not a case of wake up and accept it, it’s an hard one because unless you really understand and relate where I’m coming from it just won’t make sense.
I would never leave my partner for not having children but I feel lied to so I can say it’s pushed me away a little.