Relationship advice

[littlepup]

Has for the comment ‘can you genuinely be happy in life without children’ it’s not has simple has that when you wake up everyday for 9 years with a ache in your heart knowing your son won’t have a sibling and that you really want something but can’t have it, it’s not a case of wake up and accept it, it’s an hard one because unless you really understand and relate where I’m coming from it just won’t make sense.
I would never leave my partner for not having children but I feel lied to so I can say it’s pushed me away a little.

let’s just say, we are 8 years in (almost 9) no children!
it really breaks my heart that I can’t be a mum, I love my partner with everything but most days I feel like I’m living my life with regrets and that’s not what I want to do.

I feel like you should have said you have a child already where the whole post implied you didn’t.
As a person who spent over 6 years of my life TTC with no luck until I was 38 I absolutely do understand the ache, which is why I couldn’t personally stay in a relationship which didn’t allow me to fulfill by biggest goal in life. You say “you really want something but can’t have it” but you can, you’re not being allowed it. There’s a difference.
I stand by the earlier comment that you have to find a way to be happy without another child or break up. It’s just my opinion of course but if you’re in a relationship where you feel lied to or have to repress what you truly want you do have to make peace with it or move on because it’s unlikely he’ll do a 180 and it’ll all be fine unless he has some issues stopping him wanting a child that he can overcome.

 

[Becca0888]

I feel like you should have said you have a child already where the whole post implied you didn’t.
As a person who spent over 6 years of my life TTC with no luck until I was 38 I absolutely do understand the ache, which is why I couldn’t personally stay in a relationship which didn’t allow me to fulfill by biggest goal in life. You say “you really want something but can’t have it” but you can, you’re not being allowed it. There’s a difference.
I stand by the earlier comment that you have to find a way to be happy without another child or break up. It’s just my opinion of course but if you’re in a relationship where you feel lied to or have to repress what you truly want you do have to make peace with it or move on because it’s unlikely he’ll do a 180 and it’ll all be fine unless he has some issues stopping him wanting a child that he can overcome.

I’m sorry if I have triggered you, he has made it clear the past year he wants children but he doesn’t know when. That’s what hurts because I aren’t getting younger and my boys nearly 10 so the age gap is getting bigger which isn’t a massive problem but we aren’t getting younger.

 

[UndrTheCosh]

Spoiler: Slightly NSFW(!)

Has anyone’s partner ever suggested spicing things up in the bedroom with a bit of ‘back door’ action if you get my drift?

Were you offended, or prepared to give it a go?

 

[littlepup]

Spoiler: Slightly NSFW(!)

Has anyone’s partner ever suggested spicing things up in the bedroom with a bit of ‘back door’ action if you get my drift?

Were you offended, or prepared to give it a go?

Spoiler: NSFW

Entirely personal choice. I know those who do it on the reg, those who save it for Christmas and birthdays and people who are entirely against it. As far as kinks go, I’d say it’s a fairly minor one, I think a lot of men want to try it but not necessarily incorporate into the regular routine.
If you’re considering it, IMO It’s not something that, for most people, you’ll want to do off the cuff and preparation is key. Have a look on lovehoney, maybe start light with a small inserstable vibe or plug to feel more relaxed about getting that area involved and move on from there rather than going straight for it and the key is copious amounts of the right kind of lube!
If you really don’t fancy it, don’t feel pressured. There are plenty of other things you can experiment with.

 

[Tommyb]

Spoiler: Slightly NSFW(!)

Has anyone’s partner ever suggested spicing things up in the bedroom with a bit of ‘back door’ action if you get my drift?

Were you offended, or prepared to give it a go?

If you don't want to do it then dont. Tell him you will when he does

 

[UndrTheCosh]

If you don't want to do it then dont. Tell him you will when he does

Knowing the dirty bugger he’d probably be well up for it!

Thanks both for the advice

 

[xcyber]

When we first met I already was a single parent to one, he has been a amazing step dad to my son, he told me he wanted children but for the past 6 years it’s been ‘one day’ I am very family oriented so having children of my own was always something I wanted to have and my partner told me he loved that about me, I have worked has a midwife since I was 19, my partner has a very good job also.
I wanted to get with someone who had the same if not similar life goals has me so that this wouldn’t happen, I was lead to believe we would have this life together but honestly nothing we saw ourselves doing from 19 has happened. I’d hate to get to 50 and look back on my life with regrets.
Has for the comment ‘can you genuinely be happy in life without children’ it’s not has simple has that when you wake up everyday for 9 years with a ache in your heart knowing your son won’t have a sibling and that you really want something but can’t have it, it’s not a case of wake up and accept it, it’s an hard one because unless you really understand and relate where I’m coming from it just won’t make sense.
I would never leave my partner for not having children but I feel lied to so I can say it’s pushed me away a little.

I’m not really sure what you’re asking advice regarding if you’ve already decided you won’t leave him for not having a child. Personally if it was something I desperately wanted and the person I was with had clearly mislead me about their desire for the same thing I’d have to decide what’s more important to me. But it sounds like you’ve already chosen being with him. In which case you have to let go of the child dream and accept him for what he is. Unless you’re hoping to ‘accidentally’ fall pregnant and force a situation but I agree with the poster above, only those who really want kids should have them. Otherwise he could just be resentful forever. But similarly so could you if it never happens.

 

[Noahfence]

Hey! Just looking for some advice so any thoughts would be really appreciated

I live with my partner in a flat he owns outright with no mortgage. In terms of how I contribute, I pay for all food, I pay for holidays, I pay him around £200/month for utilities, plus half of the building’s service charge (£150 a month), and I make a point of picking up the bill for things like dinners or coffees more than him, but my issue is recently he has said that I should be paying for the full service charge moving forward.

He thinks this is fair because I used to spend way more on living costs when I was renting, however something about this arrangement isn’t sitting right with me and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not.

The reason he cannot afford to pay his half now is because for the last few years he's been on universal credit while he’s waiting for an investor to kick start his business, and in the meantime all his savings and any cash he has goes into crypto and NFTs, so he doesn't actually have any real-world money but he does have considerable assets, whereas I have a regular wage but zero assets.

I personally don't mind if that's how he wants to spend his life even though that’s not how I would choose to live, however now that he expects me to pay more bills than he does I don’t think it’s fair I pay for his unorthodox lifestyle choice. While my money would be going out the door every month for bills, his money is all going into growing more assets for himself which obviously I wouldn’t get any benefit from.

It also feels like an uncomfortable power dynamic, because for example if I lost my job, I would go and do bar work until I had a better paying job again so as not to impact him financially, and also if I wasn’t with him because I don't own any property I wouldn't have the option of being able to live on as little income as he does as I'd need to find the money for rent.

To add to this, I actually don’t mind chipping in extra to help support him for longer, if he understands that once he’s got a similar income to myself I would expect to half bills again. It’s just that he seems to feel like because I’m saving money vs renting then I should just be grateful I guess?

For some context about me, I earn around £50k before tax, and around a quarter of my pay goes on care for my grandma. This also sounds very ungrateful, but I also wouldn’t have chosen to have lived in this area of london if I was renting, and most of the space contains his things so I don’t feel the space is shared 50/50 either - perhaps more like 70/30.

Please tell me if you think I’m being an asshole - I definitely don’t think I should be living for free and I am grateful to not be paying rent, it’s just that if the tables were turned I wouldn’t expect my life partner to be contributing more than me in bills.

Edit: I also forgot to mention, he's also asking that I can backdate payments of this service charge for the whole time we've lived together (around 3 years). This comes to around £3000 which is money I physically don't have and would take me a while to save up

 

[littlepup]

Hey! Just looking for some advice so any thoughts would be really appreciated

I live with my partner in a flat he owns outright with no mortgage. In terms of how I contribute, I pay for all food, I pay for holidays, I pay him around £200/month for utilities, plus half of the building’s service charge (£150 a month), and I make a point of picking up the bill for things like dinners or coffees more than him, but my issue is recently he has said that I should be paying for the full service charge moving forward.

He thinks this is fair because I used to spend way more on living costs when I was renting, however something about this arrangement isn’t sitting right with me and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not.

The reason he cannot afford to pay his half now is because for the last few years he's been on universal credit while he’s waiting for an investor to kick start his business, and in the meantime all his savings and any cash he has goes into crypto and NFTs, so he doesn't actually have any real-world money but he does have considerable assets, whereas I have a regular wage but zero assets.

I personally don't mind if that's how he wants to spend his life even though that’s not how I would choose to live, however now that he expects me to pay more bills than he does I don’t think it’s fair I pay for his unorthodox lifestyle choice. While my money would be going out the door every month for bills, his money is all going into growing more assets for himself which obviously I wouldn’t get any benefit from.

It also feels like an uncomfortable power dynamic, because for example if I lost my job, I would go and do bar work until I had a better paying job again so as not to impact him financially, and also if I wasn’t with him because I don't own any property I wouldn't have the option of being able to live on as little income as he does as I'd need to find the money for rent.

To add to this, I actually don’t mind chipping in extra to help support him for longer, if he understands that once he’s got a similar income to myself I would expect to half bills again. It’s just that he seems to feel like because I’m saving money vs renting then I should just be grateful I guess?

For some context about me, I earn around £50k before tax, and around a quarter of my pay goes on care for my grandma. This also sounds very ungrateful, but I also wouldn’t have chosen to have lived in this area of london if I was renting, and most of the space contains his things so I don’t feel the space is shared 50/50 either - perhaps more like 70/30.

Please tell me if you think I’m being an asshole - I definitely don’t think I should be living for free and I am grateful to not be paying rent, it’s just that if the tables were turned I wouldn’t expect my life partner to be contributing more than me in bills.

Edit: I also forgot to mention, he's also asking that I can backdate payments of this service charge for the whole time we've lived together (around 3 years). This comes to around £3000 which is money I physically don't have and would take me a while to save up

I can’t believe what I’m reading, if this can even be true?? You’re essentially supporting your partners expensive gambling habit. He is using you, this is not an equal relationship.

Move out and rent somewhere, split all your mutual costs like holidays and food in half and see if the relationship continues.


I’m familiar with the world of crypto and NFTs and can still say this situation stinks.

 

[LaBlonde]

Hey! Just looking for some advice so any thoughts would be really appreciated

I live with my partner in a flat he owns outright with no mortgage. In terms of how I contribute, I pay for all food, I pay for holidays, I pay him around £200/month for utilities, plus half of the building’s service charge (£150 a month), and I make a point of picking up the bill for things like dinners or coffees more than him, but my issue is recently he has said that I should be paying for the full service charge moving forward.

He thinks this is fair because I used to spend way more on living costs when I was renting, however something about this arrangement isn’t sitting right with me and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not.

The reason he cannot afford to pay his half now is because for the last few years he's been on universal credit while he’s waiting for an investor to kick start his business, and in the meantime all his savings and any cash he has goes into crypto and NFTs, so he doesn't actually have any real-world money but he does have considerable assets, whereas I have a regular wage but zero assets.

I personally don't mind if that's how he wants to spend his life even though that’s not how I would choose to live, however now that he expects me to pay more bills than he does I don’t think it’s fair I pay for his unorthodox lifestyle choice. While my money would be going out the door every month for bills, his money is all going into growing more assets for himself which obviously I wouldn’t get any benefit from.

It also feels like an uncomfortable power dynamic, because for example if I lost my job, I would go and do bar work until I had a better paying job again so as not to impact him financially, and also if I wasn’t with him because I don't own any property I wouldn't have the option of being able to live on as little income as he does as I'd need to find the money for rent.

To add to this, I actually don’t mind chipping in extra to help support him for longer, if he understands that once he’s got a similar income to myself I would expect to half bills again. It’s just that he seems to feel like because I’m saving money vs renting then I should just be grateful I guess?

For some context about me, I earn around £50k before tax, and around a quarter of my pay goes on care for my grandma. This also sounds very ungrateful, but I also wouldn’t have chosen to have lived in this area of london if I was renting, and most of the space contains his things so I don’t feel the space is shared 50/50 either - perhaps more like 70/30.

Please tell me if you think I’m being an asshole - I definitely don’t think I should be living for free and I am grateful to not be paying rent, it’s just that if the tables were turned I wouldn’t expect my life partner to be contributing more than me in bills.

Edit: I also forgot to mention, he's also asking that I can backdate payments of this service charge for the whole time we've lived together (around 3 years). This comes to around £3000 which is money I physically don't have and would take me a while to save up

girl think about what you just wrote. you pay for all
the food, the holidays, what must be around half of the bills and he wants you to pay the full service charge because he’s a crypto investor even though he knows you use your pay to care for your grandmother and now he wants you to BACKDATE it in a way that he must know you cannot afford.

what is he contributing?! or what does he offer you at all?! it feels like an uncomfortable power dynamic because it IS ONE

 

[xcyber]

Hey! Just looking for some advice so any thoughts would be really appreciated

I live with my partner in a flat he owns outright with no mortgage. In terms of how I contribute, I pay for all food, I pay for holidays, I pay him around £200/month for utilities, plus half of the building’s service charge (£150 a month), and I make a point of picking up the bill for things like dinners or coffees more than him, but my issue is recently he has said that I should be paying for the full service charge moving forward.

He thinks this is fair because I used to spend way more on living costs when I was renting, however something about this arrangement isn’t sitting right with me and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not.

The reason he cannot afford to pay his half now is because for the last few years he's been on universal credit while he’s waiting for an investor to kick start his business, and in the meantime all his savings and any cash he has goes into crypto and NFTs, so he doesn't actually have any real-world money but he does have considerable assets, whereas I have a regular wage but zero assets.

I personally don't mind if that's how he wants to spend his life even though that’s not how I would choose to live, however now that he expects me to pay more bills than he does I don’t think it’s fair I pay for his unorthodox lifestyle choice. While my money would be going out the door every month for bills, his money is all going into growing more assets for himself which obviously I wouldn’t get any benefit from.

It also feels like an uncomfortable power dynamic, because for example if I lost my job, I would go and do bar work until I had a better paying job again so as not to impact him financially, and also if I wasn’t with him because I don't own any property I wouldn't have the option of being able to live on as little income as he does as I'd need to find the money for rent.

To add to this, I actually don’t mind chipping in extra to help support him for longer, if he understands that once he’s got a similar income to myself I would expect to half bills again. It’s just that he seems to feel like because I’m saving money vs renting then I should just be grateful I guess?

For some context about me, I earn around £50k before tax, and around a quarter of my pay goes on care for my grandma. This also sounds very ungrateful, but I also wouldn’t have chosen to have lived in this area of london if I was renting, and most of the space contains his things so I don’t feel the space is shared 50/50 either - perhaps more like 70/30.

Please tell me if you think I’m being an asshole - I definitely don’t think I should be living for free and I am grateful to not be paying rent, it’s just that if the tables were turned I wouldn’t expect my life partner to be contributing more than me in bills.

Edit: I also forgot to mention, he's also asking that I can backdate payments of this service charge for the whole time we've lived together (around 3 years). This comes to around £3000 which is money I physically don't have and would take me a while to save up

This is a madness! Personally I think you’re already paying for way too much! The only way I would financially support a guy (only briefly if it was absolutely necessary and for valid reasons like ill health) is if we’re married and I know that his assets are all technically mine too. This guy sounds like a prick. He’s using you. And the audacity to get you to backdate his service charge?! You’re paying for HIS house. Absolutely not. He sounds like a wrongun.

 

[Grizzlybear]

Hey! Just looking for some advice so any thoughts would be really appreciated

I live with my partner in a flat he owns outright with no mortgage. In terms of how I contribute, I pay for all food, I pay for holidays, I pay him around £200/month for utilities, plus half of the building’s service charge (£150 a month), and I make a point of picking up the bill for things like dinners or coffees more than him, but my issue is recently he has said that I should be paying for the full service charge moving forward.

He thinks this is fair because I used to spend way more on living costs when I was renting, however something about this arrangement isn’t sitting right with me and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not.

The reason he cannot afford to pay his half now is because for the last few years he's been on universal credit while he’s waiting for an investor to kick start his business, and in the meantime all his savings and any cash he has goes into crypto and NFTs, so he doesn't actually have any real-world money but he does have considerable assets, whereas I have a regular wage but zero assets.

I personally don't mind if that's how he wants to spend his life even though that’s not how I would choose to live, however now that he expects me to pay more bills than he does I don’t think it’s fair I pay for his unorthodox lifestyle choice. While my money would be going out the door every month for bills, his money is all going into growing more assets for himself which obviously I wouldn’t get any benefit from.

It also feels like an uncomfortable power dynamic, because for example if I lost my job, I would go and do bar work until I had a better paying job again so as not to impact him financially, and also if I wasn’t with him because I don't own any property I wouldn't have the option of being able to live on as little income as he does as I'd need to find the money for rent.

To add to this, I actually don’t mind chipping in extra to help support him for longer, if he understands that once he’s got a similar income to myself I would expect to half bills again. It’s just that he seems to feel like because I’m saving money vs renting then I should just be grateful I guess?

For some context about me, I earn around £50k before tax, and around a quarter of my pay goes on care for my grandma. This also sounds very ungrateful, but I also wouldn’t have chosen to have lived in this area of london if I was renting, and most of the space contains his things so I don’t feel the space is shared 50/50 either - perhaps more like 70/30.

Please tell me if you think I’m being an asshole - I definitely don’t think I should be living for free and I am grateful to not be paying rent, it’s just that if the tables were turned I wouldn’t expect my life partner to be contributing more than me in bills.

Edit: I also forgot to mention, he's also asking that I can backdate payments of this service charge for the whole time we've lived together (around 3 years). This comes to around £3000 which is money I physically don't have and would take me a while to save up

Absolutely not what’s stopping him getting ANY job whatsoever? A friend of mine is in a similar situation and genuinely she gets nothing out of it but a roof over her head? She is saving to get out as supporting her layabout bf has got her into debt. Suggest you get out before you also get into debt… rents are coming back down again so you have options girl! You can’t even relax among your own things, it’s all his?!

 

[Funsizes]

Hey! Just looking for some advice so any thoughts would be really appreciated

I live with my partner in a flat he owns outright with no mortgage. In terms of how I contribute, I pay for all food, I pay for holidays, I pay him around £200/month for utilities, plus half of the building’s service charge (£150 a month), and I make a point of picking up the bill for things like dinners or coffees more than him, but my issue is recently he has said that I should be paying for the full service charge moving forward.

He thinks this is fair because I used to spend way more on living costs when I was renting, however something about this arrangement isn’t sitting right with me and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not.

The reason he cannot afford to pay his half now is because for the last few years he's been on universal credit while he’s waiting for an investor to kick start his business, and in the meantime all his savings and any cash he has goes into crypto and NFTs, so he doesn't actually have any real-world money but he does have considerable assets, whereas I have a regular wage but zero assets.

I personally don't mind if that's how he wants to spend his life even though that’s not how I would choose to live, however now that he expects me to pay more bills than he does I don’t think it’s fair I pay for his unorthodox lifestyle choice. While my money would be going out the door every month for bills, his money is all going into growing more assets for himself which obviously I wouldn’t get any benefit from.

It also feels like an uncomfortable power dynamic, because for example if I lost my job, I would go and do bar work until I had a better paying job again so as not to impact him financially, and also if I wasn’t with him because I don't own any property I wouldn't have the option of being able to live on as little income as he does as I'd need to find the money for rent.

To add to this, I actually don’t mind chipping in extra to help support him for longer, if he understands that once he’s got a similar income to myself I would expect to half bills again. It’s just that he seems to feel like because I’m saving money vs renting then I should just be grateful I guess?

For some context about me, I earn around £50k before tax, and around a quarter of my pay goes on care for my grandma. This also sounds very ungrateful, but I also wouldn’t have chosen to have lived in this area of london if I was renting, and most of the space contains his things so I don’t feel the space is shared 50/50 either - perhaps more like 70/30.

Please tell me if you think I’m being an asshole - I definitely don’t think I should be living for free and I am grateful to not be paying rent, it’s just that if the tables were turned I wouldn’t expect my life partner to be contributing more than me in bills.

Edit: I also forgot to mention, he's also asking that I can backdate payments of this service charge for the whole time we've lived together (around 3 years). This comes to around £3000 which is money I physically don't have and would take me a while to save up

Darling that money he is "investing" in crypto and NFTs will never amount to anything. He may as well ask you to bankroll him whilst he "invests" at Ladbrokes.

 

[ack13]

Hey! Just looking for some advice so any thoughts would be really appreciated

I live with my partner in a flat he owns outright with no mortgage. In terms of how I contribute, I pay for all food, I pay for holidays, I pay him around £200/month for utilities, plus half of the building’s service charge (£150 a month), and I make a point of picking up the bill for things like dinners or coffees more than him, but my issue is recently he has said that I should be paying for the full service charge moving forward.

He thinks this is fair because I used to spend way more on living costs when I was renting, however something about this arrangement isn’t sitting right with me and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not.

The reason he cannot afford to pay his half now is because for the last few years he's been on universal credit while he’s waiting for an investor to kick start his business, and in the meantime all his savings and any cash he has goes into crypto and NFTs, so he doesn't actually have any real-world money but he does have considerable assets, whereas I have a regular wage but zero assets.

I personally don't mind if that's how he wants to spend his life even though that’s not how I would choose to live, however now that he expects me to pay more bills than he does I don’t think it’s fair I pay for his unorthodox lifestyle choice. While my money would be going out the door every month for bills, his money is all going into growing more assets for himself which obviously I wouldn’t get any benefit from.

It also feels like an uncomfortable power dynamic, because for example if I lost my job, I would go and do bar work until I had a better paying job again so as not to impact him financially, and also if I wasn’t with him because I don't own any property I wouldn't have the option of being able to live on as little income as he does as I'd need to find the money for rent.

To add to this, I actually don’t mind chipping in extra to help support him for longer, if he understands that once he’s got a similar income to myself I would expect to half bills again. It’s just that he seems to feel like because I’m saving money vs renting then I should just be grateful I guess?

For some context about me, I earn around £50k before tax, and around a quarter of my pay goes on care for my grandma. This also sounds very ungrateful, but I also wouldn’t have chosen to have lived in this area of london if I was renting, and most of the space contains his things so I don’t feel the space is shared 50/50 either - perhaps more like 70/30.

Please tell me if you think I’m being an asshole - I definitely don’t think I should be living for free and I am grateful to not be paying rent, it’s just that if the tables were turned I wouldn’t expect my life partner to be contributing more than me in bills.

Edit: I also forgot to mention, he's also asking that I can backdate payments of this service charge for the whole time we've lived together (around 3 years). This comes to around £3000 which is money I physically don't have and would take me a while to save up

I own my house outright with no mortgage and have done long before I met my now husband. He was renting when we met so it made sense that he move in with me.

We split all bills 50/50. Holidays/activities are 50/50. I do pay for any repairs, thankfully haven’t had many because as my husband rightly said, if we split up he will have put money into a home he doesn’t own which I understand.

Sounds like he’s being very very unreasonable.

 

[littlepup]

The reason he cannot afford to pay his half now is because for the last few years he's been on universal credit while he’s waiting for an investor to kick start his business, and in the meantime all his savings and any cash he has goes into crypto and NFTs, so he doesn't actually have any real-world money but he does have considerable assets, whereas I have a regular wage but zero assets.

I missed that bit before. How can he be on UC if he has all these savings in the form of Crypto? If he’s not declaring it as an asset then he’s committing fraud by deprivation of assets.
He's being bankrolled by the government and you while he sits on his arse, at best, chasing a dream. Is this what you want for your future? He’s just ‘waiting’ for an investor while expecting others to pay his way. What’s he doing to be proactive about his future
Are you sure he’s being honest? That he doesn’t have a gambling habit? If this post is real then there is definitely some kind of deception on the part of the boyfriend. It’s not plausible otherwise.

 

[unidentified]

He’s just ‘waiting’ for an investor

I think the poster is his investor sadly. You’re investing in paying for his lifestyle while he claims benefits. GET OUT! This guy is a user and in a way, financially abusing you.

 

[littlepup]

I think the poster is his investor sadly. You’re investing in paying for his lifestyle while he claims benefits. GET OUT! This guy is a user and in a way, financially abusing you.

I agree, I wasn’t sure if financial abuse was too much but the more I think about it, the more it is.
He’s depriving her of her own assets while retaining/increasing his, pressuring her into financially supporting him. It’s narcissistic financial abuse.

 

[LaBlonde]

I agree, I wasn’t sure if financial abuse was too much but the more I think about it, the more it is.
He’s depriving her of her own assets while retaining/increasing his, pressuring her into financially supporting him. It’s narcissistic financial abuse.

yep. not to mention that he must know that OP also uses a significant amount of her earnings to care for her grandmother. the more i read that post the more worrying it gets.

 

[ProfessorColdheart]

Agree with previous posters. It feels uncomfortable because it is. Trust your gut.

 

[rasberry spoons]

Hi, seeking advice as I don’t know what to do anymore. Been with my partner for a long time, he lost his job back in July, said he was going to start his own business, I supported him and said I would hold the fort for bills etc for the first few months. fast forward to now. He half heartedly tried, nothing came to fruition. He had told me for months he applies for jobs but 8 months down the line and he hasn’t even been for an interview so I’m really starting to doubt that. He hasn’t contributed towards bills, childcare food. I pay for everything, the small bit of UC he does receive is gone 3 days later and I haven’t seen any of it. Everytime I try to discuss it it ends up in an argument that he thinks I’m implying he’s a tit dad and I’d be better off without him. Truth is I really am starting to think I would be better off. Definitely financially anyway. We’re together but I’ve never felt so sad about our relationship and I just don’t know what to do to approach it.