The thing is kids who have experience complex developmental trauma (as probably at least 90% of children in foster care have) are much more likely to constantly ask for things, it’s part of them testing boundaries and seeing if the new carer will leave them too. He either would’ve had completely inconsistent caregiver responses previously, where he was walking on eggshells all the time and not sure as to whether he would get his needs met or not, or constant harsh caregiver responses, or just been completely neglected and not had a present caregiver at all.
It’s ok to very very gently and gradually guide them, but not in a way that they are so fearful of the new carers response that they need it to be clarified that they didn’t request something that they’re holding because they’re so terrified of what the response will be. Foster carers need to be so so patient, they might have to have the same conversation a hundred times a day to reinforce the messaging, but doing it in a harsh way and making them scared is certainly not appropriate. His brain can’t understand why he can’t just have things, these people clearly have money and have bought him a whole heap of new clothes and provide him with seemingly endless lovely food etc, so why wouldn’t he think he can ask for everything he sees.
Also why the need to have him on SM constantly. It drives me crazy. They are absolutely not respecting his privacy or his parents privacy. A birth parent/other relative would 100% recognise that as their own child if they saw the images and heard the voice. They need to keep him safe by protecting him and keeping him off SM. I’m assuming there’s more than one foster care agency in Vic, otherwise I’d be considering reporting them.
