Questions for those who have been through menopause

[Clementine]

I have no STIs, no itch and have never needed lube…

I was treated for cervical erosion last year which they thought it was but I’m still bleeding. Paraphrasing the gynaecologist, I either just get used to it or go on the pill till menopause. My GP did say that at the time I wasn’t perimenopausal but in 3 months time I could be, due to the nature of hormones. They’re not going to test me every 3 months though.

 

[ouroboros]

The problem with the test they use for Peri is that once you are in Peri, no matter what your age, it's next to useless. I really wish Drs would understand this. Peri is the period when your hormones start fluctuating madly and sporadically so you need a few tests at different points in your cycle.
@ouroboros absolutely. I sold my business thinking it was causing my problems, then got a job and quit that too. 6 months later I realised it was hormonal, absolute shite. I'm just picking myself up from those catastrophic decisions 5 years on

Yes this is true. Mine were too high some months and too low others and my periods are still bang on 28 days and are no lighter or heavier. The only difference now is the progesterone tablets mean I can time them at 28 days exactly anyway (because it’s 14 on, 14 off). My GP did say I could have a coil fitted, but no way. I’m an absolute wuss when it comes to invasive vaginal procedures. I don’t really have any physical symptoms yet (thankfully) because as soon as I realised the diet/exercise was too excessive I radically overhauled and added in additional vitamins and minerals to help.

I have no STIs, no itch and have never needed lube…

I was treated for cervical erosion last year which they thought it was but I’m still bleeding. Paraphrasing the gynaecologist, I either just get used to it or go on the pill till menopause. My GP did say that at the time I wasn’t perimenopausal but in 3 months time I could be, due to the nature of hormones. They’re not going to test me every 3 months though.

Hmm pain during/after sex is classic if nothing else is wrong. You could just try a hydrating gel like vagisil for a couple of weeks to see if it helps (can’t hurt). If your hormones and periods are fine then the pill shouldn’t be necessary.

Never underestimate the power of lube to give you better orgasms…I presume you use it with sex toys at least (absolutely essential).

 

[Clementine]

I have no pain either. There’s no warning signs. My periods have been all over the shop. I only had 6 last year, which is why I thought I was perimenopausal.

I’ll try out the lube advice though. I’m single and don’t know the next time I’ll have sex though …the bleeding is a massive deterrent. Thank you!

 

[ouroboros]

I have no pain either. There’s no warning signs. My periods have been all over the shop. I only had 6 last year, which is why I thought I was perimenopausal.

I’ll try out the lube advice though. I’m single and don’t know the next time I’ll have sex though …the bleeding is a massive deterrent. Thank you!

Keep an eye on the bleeding though and go back if it persists after Christmas. That’s not something you should put up with especially if it affects your sex life.

 

[Clementine]

Thank you. I think because I’ve had a biopsy, they’ve checked my ovaries etc and nothing has been wrong, they don’t see any sinister reasons for it.

 

[Notworthy]

Thank you. I think because I’ve had a biopsy, they’ve checked my ovaries etc and nothing has been wrong, they don’t see any sinister reasons for it.

Absolute wankers, they have no idea how draining and depressing it is. I'm bleeping tired of Drs just saying we have to live with it.

 

[ouroboros]

Absolute wankers, they have no idea how draining and depressing it is. I'm bleeping tired of Drs just saying we have to live with it.

Especially as bleeding is one of the main signs that something is wrong!

 

[Clementine]

It is pretty disheartening, but then I don’t want to be wasting the NHS’ time in this current climate. Y’know? I’m having treatment for my pelvic floor as well, which I can’t do if I’m bleeding, the treatment had been delayed because of the bleeding, so I don’t really want to try another pill and my pelvic floor weakening even more because I’m bleeding. It’s a shitshow tbh and this is the first time I’ve actually spoke about it.

Also, tired of typing bleeding

 

[Snowjoke]

I can’t speak for your husband because I don’t know but I can guarantee most of what you’re feeling is hormonal. The paranoia, insecurity and general feeling of being broken is absolutely crippling and leads you to believe all kinds of crazy things. I always knew mine was perimenopause because my fibroids were caused by excessive exercising and all of a sudden I had all manner of issues for one supposedly so fit. Also there was absolutely nothing else going on in my life that was causing me such crippling anxiety (I’ve never ever been an anxious person in my life). Ironically that has gone now too. I’m not ready for menopause yet, although my grandmother was only 45, my GP was great in understanding my fears for what an early menopause would do to my body (not fertility-wise, but it leads to a significant risk of many diseases). I really hope you find the right solution, I genuinely understand how unbearable it is and I’m not even part way through the real hell. Many find a combination of antidepressants and HRT incredibly beneficial. Sucks to be female


Another great supplement is maca root. I used to swear by it before I started oestrogen. You do have to be careful if you have ever had high oestrogen/BC links, but it’s fantastic for anxiety, increasing energy and endurance and most importantly it sends your libido into overdrive.

sorry to butt in lol just interested in the fibriods whilst on hrt. I have the same issue, they don’t seem to seem very concerned about them in the doctors but I’ve been worrying about it interested as you say excessive exercise caused yours, did the gp give you any info on this? I have been a bit of a gym bunny the past while so I’m intrigued lol please don’t feel like you have to answer if it’s too personal tho.

 

[ouroboros]

sorry to butt in lol just interested in the fibriods whilst on hrt. I have the same issue, they don’t seem to seem very concerned about them in the doctors but I’ve been worrying about it interested as you say excessive exercise caused yours, did the gp give you any info on this? I have been a bit of a gym bunny the past while so I’m intrigued lol please don’t feel like you have to answer if it’s too personal tho.

Hey not at all. When I say excessive exercise, I was doing 4 hours a day and dropped 7% body fat and 10lbs in a week (and not water weight). I was also vegan. I don’t know why I was going so mad really, I think it was depression. Anyway, GP wasn’t concerned because I’ve had no symptoms in well over a year regarding my fibroids. In fact as soon as I started eating normally and dropped the exercise back I was fine. What clinched it for her was when I said the two weeks before my period were so bad I could barely get out of bed and was either so angry that I felt like I could kill someone or I would literally sob for days. She tested my progesterone levels and they were really low those weeks as expected (usually they drop the week before ready for menstruation). It was me that suggested HRT because I’ve never used synthetic hormones before and antidepressants alone weren’t helping. It’s the progesterone I need, but you have to take oestrogen as well if your womb is intact. It is a worry, but I take each day as it comes and my mood is so calm and functional now that I could probably cope with the ablation now if I needed it. Does that answer your question?

 

[Snowjoke]

Hey not at all. When I say excessive exercise, I was doing 4 hours a day and dropped 7% body fat and 10lbs in a week (and not water weight). I was also vegan. I don’t know why I was going so mad really, I think it was depression. Anyway, GP wasn’t concerned because I’ve had no symptoms in well over a year regarding my fibroids. In fact as soon as I started eating normally and dropped the exercise back I was fine. What clinched it for her was when I said the two weeks before my period were so bad I could barely get out of bed and was either so angry that I felt like I could kill someone or I would literally sob for days. She tested my progesterone levels and they were really low those weeks as expected (usually they drop the week before ready for menstruation). It was me that suggested HRT because I’ve never used synthetic hormones before and antidepressants alone weren’t helping. It’s the progesterone I need, but you have to take oestrogen as well if your womb is intact. It is a worry, but I take each day as it comes and my mood is so calm and functional now that I could probably cope with the ablation now if I needed it. Does that answer your question?

Yes it does thanks so much for replying! They told me that fibroids in peri are quite rare and that the further you get into menopause they do expect them to die off so I’m guessing that’s why they aren’t too worried. My prescribed hrt is very strong (they prescribed a strong one to protect bones and heart) so I’m assuming all the oestrogen is feeding the fibroids. I have had quite a stressful few months so I’d say that doesn’t help either haha

 

[ouroboros]

Yes it does thanks so much for replying! They told me that fibroids in peri are quite rare and that the further you get into menopause they do expect them to die off so I’m guessing that’s why they aren’t too worried. My prescribed hrt is very strong (they prescribed a strong one to protect bones and heart) so I’m assuming all the oestrogen is feeding the fibroids. I have had quite a stressful few months so I’d say that doesn’t help either haha

That’s why they’re very wishy washy about perimenopause. It’s usually when hormone levels are all over the place and because you can still have normal periods like me they can never be sure, but my GP knows I do my research so is always willing to try things I ask for.

Just keep an eye out for any symptoms and make sure you’re having regular checks and going for your smears. I always think we know our own bodies and usually if it doesn’t feel right, you know there’s a problem.

 

[Snowjoke]

That’s why they’re very wishy washy about perimenopause. It’s usually when hormone levels are all over the place and because you can still have normal periods like me they can never be sure, but my GP knows I do my research so is always willing to try things I ask for.

Just keep an eye out for any symptoms and make sure you’re having regular checks and going for your smears. I always think we know our own bodies and usually if it doesn’t feel right, you know there’s a problem.

Most definitely, thanks ouroboros

 

[ginger tea]

I can’t speak for your husband because I don’t know but I can guarantee most of what you’re feeling is hormonal. The paranoia, insecurity and general feeling of being broken is absolutely crippling and leads you to believe all kinds of crazy things. I always knew mine was perimenopause because my fibroids were caused by excessive exercising and all of a sudden I had all manner of issues for one supposedly so fit. Also there was absolutely nothing else going on in my life that was causing me such crippling anxiety (I’ve never ever been an anxious person in my life). Ironically that has gone now too. I’m not ready for menopause yet, although my grandmother was only 45, my GP was great in understanding my fears for what an early menopause would do to my body (not fertility-wise, but it leads to a significant risk of many diseases). I really hope you find the right solution, I genuinely understand how unbearable it is and I’m not even part way through the real hell. Many find a combination of antidepressants and HRT incredibly beneficial. Sucks to be female


Another great supplement is maca root. I used to swear by it before I started oestrogen. You do have to be careful if you have ever had high oestrogen/BC links, but it’s fantastic for anxiety, increasing energy and endurance and most importantly it sends your libido into overdrive.

Sorry for the late reply I went absolutely crazy yesterday and I was only asked what I wanted for dinner, I feel totally ashamed of my behaviour but once I was in it I couldn’t stop, I feel we are the same person with everything you have written, every time I go to the doctor they do bloods and they come back that I’m an anemic but that’s part of the blood loss with the fibroids, this whole thing is driving me crazy can I ask what supplements you take ?? Iv been taking b6, b12, zinc, D, magnesium, soya isoflavones for over a year now.

@ginger tea You're symptoms are 100% peri menopause. My advice is to get on a facebook page and start to read other womens experiences, start to diarise everything that is going on in your body check a list of peri symptoms for guidance, weigh yourself everyday for a month or 2 and a pattern will emerge. Once you see the pattern it does become much easier to manage yourself. Sit your family down and tell them what is happening and apologise for any hurtful things that you may have said/done. It's tit but the more you know yourself the better you can get through it

Thank you I kind of thought it was peri but with my periods getting heavier and longer I was just so confused with it all, plus every time I go to the doctor she just says that I’m anemic it’s so frustrating,the guilt and shame if the crazy psycho episodes iv been experiencing the past 5-6 months are devastating, I don’t want to be that person but when they come on I can’t stop

I did try to manage mine for a year before I had to give in to professional help and I’m a lot younger. Holding down my job was the hardest part.

Yes I’m struggling with work at the moment, I go to work as I don’t want to be home but I don’t want to be at work either I’m scared I flip out and say something that I shouldn’t

 

[Notworthy]

@ginger tea If you can afford it, go private and get yourself on HRT. I was on the facebook page Perimenopause surviving and thriving but there are others. I've never had a hot flush, my most debilitating symptoms were mental, the loss of confidence, withdrawing from family and friends and the desire to abandon my family and duck off somewhere to live on my own. It does get better but it is imperative that you are honest with your family and work. If you feel like you are losing control remove yourself from the room. Diarising how you feel should give you a warning to whne you are likely to flip so you can avoid dragging your family too much. Weighing myself became the key to figuring it out for me. I noticed that as my weight went up 5lbs, my sense of smell went crazy and I started to hate everyone. I also found that I had no warning signs to pee, it was literally OMG I need to get to the toilet but it was literally only a day or 2 a month that that happened, clearly the weight gain was fluid retention for a day or 2.

 

[ginger tea]

@ginger tea If you can afford it, go private and get yourself on HRT. I was on the facebook page Perimenopause surviving and thriving but there are others. I've never had a hot flush, my most debilitating symptoms were mental, the loss of confidence, withdrawing from family and friends and the desire to abandon my family and duck off somewhere to live on my own. It does get better but it is imperative that you are honest with your family and work. If you feel like you are losing control remove yourself from the room. Diarising how you feel should give you a warning to whne you are likely to flip so you can avoid dragging your family too much. Weighing myself became the key to figuring it out for me. I noticed that as my weight went up 5lbs, my sense of smell went crazy and I started to hate everyone. I also found that I had no warning signs to pee, it was literally OMG I need to get to the toilet but it was literally only a day or 2 a month that that happened, clearly the weight gain was fluid retention for a day or 2.

Thss as no you for your kind words and advice, I’ll look into it

 

[ouroboros]

@ginger tea If you can afford it, go private and get yourself on HRT. I was on the facebook page Perimenopause surviving and thriving but there are others. I've never had a hot flush, my most debilitating symptoms were mental, the loss of confidence, withdrawing from family and friends and the desire to abandon my family and duck off somewhere to live on my own. It does get better but it is imperative that you are honest with your family and work. If you feel like you are losing control remove yourself from the room. Diarising how you feel should give you a warning to whne you are likely to flip so you can avoid dragging your family too much. Weighing myself became the key to figuring it out for me. I noticed that as my weight went up 5lbs, my sense of smell went crazy and I started to hate everyone. I also found that I had no warning signs to pee, it was literally OMG I need to get to the toilet but it was literally only a day or 2 a month that that happened, clearly the weight gain was fluid retention for a day or 2.

HRT is now available free on the NHS.

 

[Notworthy]

HRT is now available free on the NHS.

I know thanks but the vast majority of women just get shoved on it with no investigation as to what their levels are and what they need. I ended up suicidal because I was estrogen dominant and was then only prescribed Estrogen so went completely barmy. All the TV presenters doing menopause programmes see the same specialist privately, trust me, we don't get the same service on the NHS.

 

[ouroboros]

I know thanks but the vast majority of women just get shoved on it with no investigation as to what their levels are and what they need. I ended up suicidal because I was estrogen dominant and was then only prescribed Estrogen so went completely barmy. All the TV presenters doing menopause programmes see the same specialist privately, trust me, we don't get the same service on the NHS.

I had a great service with the NHS, they tested me, listened to me and put me on the lowest dose of both with a review every 4 weeks. If you go in armed and have a good GP it’s worth it.

 

[ouroboros]

@ginger tea - do you have your appointment today? If so, good luck and let us know how you get on (if you feel comfortable to, of course!).