PTWM #41 ‘fess up that Joyce got the sack, when are you giving the PayPal back?

[FridaK]

I think step parenting after a bereavement is completely different from divorce/ break up. Of course you treat the child as your own in that situation and take on all the motherly roles. I would be confused if you didn’t do that. You sound like you know what your doing and are doing it well.

In terms of living parents. The key thing is respect and putting your own feelings aside. You have to respect the child’s other parent as their parent even if you don’t personally get along. It’s all people management in the end. I feel like HR dept sometimes

 

[LuckyBlueEyes]

View attachment 190090View attachment 190093

I’m roaring
Bringing SEXY BACK

He looks like the dad from Steptoe and Son in that get up

 

[Wotsit]

I would hate if my stepdaughter thought I was trying to take away from her bio mum. I've been in her life since she was 3, I never pressured her into calling me mum, she just decided one day and that was it. I was delighted of course. I'd never correct anyone. She looks like her mum sometimes and I do say it to her.

I just think the people that know us and are family or close friends, her school, know I'm not her bio mum but if a stranger said to me while we are out 'oh your daughter is beautiful' I wouldn't correct them. People have said to us we are a beautiful family and I just smile and say thanks.

I'll have a conversation with her and figure out where she stands!

The difference with R is that she had an affair with the boys mum. J then chose to leave, there's numerous rumours of what happened next and none of us know the details of that for definite, but i believe R used the heartbreak that the boys mum was going through, and encouraged J to take custody for her own selfish reasons. She didn't like it when E'd dad got with someone new, she certainly wouldn't like J having contact with his ex.

I have a stepson, hes grown up now and even though he lived with us he didn't call me mum. Cards at xmas and birthdays always say mum on them though. If he wanted to call me mum i wouldn't have an issue with it, but it was never something that was mentioned as he was 8 when i met my husband and has his own mum. His kids do call me Nanny though and its very rare i say not biologically (only is someone questions the age gap as im 39 and they are 6 and 11)

i think it comes down to personal choice, the problem people have with R is that she makes out the boys call her mum, the girls call J dad. Its clear from the numerous stories every day that they dont. I'd say B doesnt even like him I dont think they even called E's dad "dad" when he was stepdad to them.

i don't think your step daughter calling you mum is an issue at all and nor does it need explaining to anyone else. You are the only mum she has ever known

 

[MummaNoggins]

He looks like the dad from Steptoe and Son in that get up

'AAARRRROOOOLLLDDD

 

[Lozza0710]

I think she did go to a refuge in Exeter, don't know how true that is though. I think we need to take a lot of what she says with a pinch of salt.

Which is the same as the breast feeding stuff. She spouts such emotive spiel. If you were someone in a violent relationship and was looking at trying to leave if you read her stories it would do nothing to inspire you to break away. It’s not a drama and it’s not fiction. DV is a Horrific reality. How can she possibly think embellishing it is ok?

 

[ShipShapShep]

I've just caught up on today's borefest. What struck me the most was her whining when Wilby "hit" her with the remote. She sounded like a 6 year old whining cos they'd got hit by their sibling.........

 

[MrsA99]

I would hate if my stepdaughter thought I was trying to take away from her bio mum. I've been in her life since she was 3, I never pressured her into calling me mum, she just decided one day and that was it. I was delighted of course. I'd never correct anyone. She looks like her mum sometimes and I do say it to her.

I just think the people that know us and are family or close friends, her school, know I'm not her bio mum but if a stranger said to me while we are out 'oh your daughter is beautiful' I wouldn't correct them. People have said to us we are a beautiful family and I just smile and say thanks.

I'll have a conversation with her and figure out where she stands!

Honestly, I think you've dealt with your situation beautifully.
The situation with PTWM is a whole different ball game.
Straight after she and Josh got together, she was posting photos with the boys saying 'My boys'.... she'd just destroyed their mother's world.

 

[Lajdufn]

Does anyone here follow the nurse mum? I cant find any threads on her.

I follow her and I feel like ive read on tattle somewhere that she’s off limits, can’t remember why exactly but maybe because her page is mostly about Jaxon and his multiple diagnoses?

 

[ChilliPepper]

~films J ironing~
R: Alright, what you doing?
J: Ironing
R: Keeping busy, aren’t you?

Q u a l i t y. C o n t e n t.

 

[MrsA99]

~films J ironing~
R: Alright, what you doing?
J: Ironing
R: Keeping busy, aren’t you?

Q u a l i t y. C o n t e n t.

It's the vile tone she used with him that annoyed me.

 

[Sunflower :)]

I think step parenting after a bereavement is completely different from divorce/ break up. Of course you treat the child as your own in that situation and take on all the motherly roles. I would be confused if you didn’t do that. You sound like you know what your doing and are doing it well.

In terms of living parents. The key thing is respect and putting your own feelings aside. You have to respect the child’s other parent as their parent even if you don’t personally get along. It’s all people management in the end. I feel like HR dept sometimes

Oh absolutely. She goes to her maternal grandparents once a month for a weekend and spends two weeks in the summer with her mum's sister. They came to our wedding, treat our other kids like their family.

They also appreciate the fact I have photos up of their family portraits in our house but the way I see it it is, without her, we wouldn't have my stepdaughter and all her wonderful traits. Don't get me wrong, she has off days but she's a pre-teen and like my two, she gets that attitude from her dad . If I could bring her mum back for her, I would.

I don't understand Rs mentality. She has this whole 'women should build eachother up' persona but gladly took a woman's husband and made sure she couldn't see her own kids. Could you imagine the uproar there would be if Edie's dad got custody and pushed R out so that she wouldn't see her. The double standard thing bugs me.

 

[Eat more cake]

I’m shocked that Major Joyce isn’t in camo today. she must have had her surrogate dad round to attach the stair gate. We all know Major Joyce can’t do that, he is too busy leading Home Guard parades and planning defences ready for the invasion of mutant Cuckoos.

 

[Lozzymawozzy]

They also appreciate the fact I have photos up of their family portraits in our house but the way I see it it is, without her, we wouldn't have my stepdaughter and all her wonderful traits. Don't get me wrong, she has off days but she's a pre-teen and like my two, she gets that attitude from her dad . If I could bring her mum back for her, I would.

This

 

[Sheffers92]

Why is she mad at him for doing chores!? He can't spend all his time acting like a teenager with you Rach other nothing in your house would ever get done!

 

[DipsyDoodle]

Oh absolutely. She goes to her maternal grandparents once a month for a weekend and spends two weeks in the summer with her mum's sister. They came to our wedding, treat our other kids like their family.

They also appreciate the fact I have photos up of their family portraits in our house but the way I see it it is, without her, we wouldn't have my stepdaughter and all her wonderful traits. Don't get me wrong, she has off days but she's a pre-teen and like my two, she gets that attitude from her dad . If I could bring her mum back for her, I would.

I don't understand Rs mentality. She has this whole 'women should build eachother up' persona but gladly took a woman's husband and made sure she couldn't see her own kids. Could you imagine the uproar there would be if Edie's dad got custody and pushed R out so that she wouldn't see her. The double standard thing bugs me.

She quite often mentions parental alienation and that woman (is her name Sally?) whose kids were taken away by their dad. She'll use emotive language to describe how awful it is to keep children from their mum, while all along it's exactly what she does.

 

[Lozza0710]

I've just caught up on today's borefest. What struck me the most was her whining when Wilby "hit" her with the remote. She sounded like a 6 year old whining cos they'd got hit by their sibling.........

She sounded like Edie...!!

 

[Wizzywoo2]

I’m shocked that Major Joyce isn’t in camo today. she must have had her surrogate dad round to attach the stair gate. We all know Major Joyce can’t do that, he is too busy leading Home Guard parades and planning defences ready for the invasion of mutant Cuckoos.

Dont forget his weekly nail inspections!

 

[MrsOgre]

 

[other things online]

Sorry to derail the thread I have been reading.

My daughter started her period last night, she’s the same age as Lula. There was high emotions, she was upset for a short while, then we chatted had a cuddle and I slept in her bed and handed her lots of sanitary products. ( sorry that sounds cheesy )
Anyway, this morning I thought about PTWM period post... so I re read it
While were very open, I honestly feel my daughter would kill me if I announced on any of my SM she had started her period, and how/where it started.. I couldn’t imagine how she would feel me telling over 500,000 people..

anyway just thought I’d tell u all that haha.. have a nice day!

Why is she mad at him for doing chores!? He can't spend all his time acting like a teenager with you Rach other nothing in your house would ever get done!

I thought the same!! There is 8 people living in that house , and lots of animals! There will ALWAYS be something to do, and whilst we know when josh is at fake work (blocking /deleting Comments and people on her pages) that she doesn’t do anything! Because if she does, we all know about it. He even makes all their pack lunches when she takes them to the beach all by her teeny tiny self.

 

[Wentback]

It’s personal choice but I think there is a HUGE difference if the child doesn’t have their other bio parent in their life, for whatever reason. I never knew my dad, always called my stepdad “dad” (lived with him from the age of 2 so didn’t know any different) and he wouldn’t have stopped people to tell them I wasn’t his.

The difference with Rachel is that the boys have a mother who is still alive and, by all accounts other than theirs, still interested in being their mum. They don’t call Rachel “mum” and the older girls don’t call Josh “dad”. Yet when people comment on Instagram referring to the boys as her children, she doesn’t correct them.

The boys do call her mum, I’ve heard them, the two oldest girls don’t call Josh dad, just the bold bray Edie does!