PTWM #41 ‘fess up that Joyce got the sack, when are you giving the PayPal back?

[Sunflower :)]

Sorry ladies, I'm a small bit worried now. I've never corrected anyone when we are out about saying my girls are lovely or commenting on them at all. I just say thank you. My stepdaughter calls me mum (she knows I'm not her bio mum,she passed away when stepdaughter was 1) but I'd never point to anyone that she isn't my child. Are we supposed to do this? I'd never take away from her mum, I still have their family photos up in my house, as well as our own.

I suppose I think of it from the side that, I wouldn't want my stepdaughter to feel like less of a family member by saying she wasn't mine. I may have a conversation with her later and ask what she would prefer.

 

[Lucyinthesky88]

Sorry ladies, I'm a small bit worried now. I've never corrected anyone when we are out about saying my girls are lovely or commenting on them at all. I just say thank you. My stepdaughter calls me mum (she knows I'm not her bio mum,she passed away when stepdaughter was 1) but I'd never point to anyone that she isn't my child. Are we supposed to do this? I'd never take away from her mum, I still have their family photos up in my house, as well as our own.

I suppose I think of it from the side that, I wouldn't want my stepdaughter to feel like less of a family member by saying she wasn't mine. I may have a conversation with her later and ask what she would prefer.

It’s personal choice but I think there is a HUGE difference if the child doesn’t have their other bio parent in their life, for whatever reason. I never knew my dad, always called my stepdad “dad” (lived with him from the age of 2 so didn’t know any different) and he wouldn’t have stopped people to tell them I wasn’t his.

The difference with Rachel is that the boys have a mother who is still alive and, by all accounts other than theirs, still interested in being their mum. They don’t call Rachel “mum” and the older girls don’t call Josh “dad”. Yet when people comment on Instagram referring to the boys as her children, she doesn’t correct them.

 

[MummaNoggins]

@Sunflower :) my step child is older ( 20's). Has never lived with us full time and very much has a mum.
Your daughter ( and yes, she is your daughter) has no biological mum . It's a massive difference to how Rancid behaves. Seb and Isaac have a mum. They see their mum. There mum is very much alive. They don't call Rancid Mum.
Yet she allows people to make the assumption. It's wrong and it's hurtful and damaging to them and their mum.
All three of mine look very similar. I don't correct or really engage with randoms out and about if they comment on it. I nod and smile. I don't look old enough to have a 20 something though *preens*
If I had an insta following of thousands then, yes I would give acknowledgement and credit where its due.
She literally re-writes history to suit her and her brand.
Lots of love

 

[FridaK]

Joking aside. Their relationship is so dysfunctional, the seven year itch next year is going to be compelling. It’s like the Hunger Games, I can’t work out which has the favourable odds for survival.
If they broke up. The huns would may need to pick a side
Omg. I’ve just had visions of Joyce becoming the male Hinch

 

[Sunflower :)]

It’s personal choice but I think there is a HUGE difference if the child doesn’t have their other bio parent in their life, for whatever reason. I never knew my dad, always called my stepdad “dad” (lived with him from the age of 2 so didn’t know any different) and he wouldn’t have stopped people to tell them I wasn’t his.

The difference with Rachel is that the boys have a mother who is still alive and, by all accounts other than theirs, still interested in being their mum. They don’t call Rachel “mum” and the older girls don’t call Josh “dad”. Yet when people comment on Instagram referring to the boys as her children, she doesn’t correct them.

I would hate if my stepdaughter thought I was trying to take away from her bio mum. I've been in her life since she was 3, I never pressured her into calling me mum, she just decided one day and that was it. I was delighted of course. I'd never correct anyone. She looks like her mum sometimes and I do say it to her.

I just think the people that know us and are family or close friends, her school, know I'm not her bio mum but if a stranger said to me while we are out 'oh your daughter is beautiful' I wouldn't correct them. People have said to us we are a beautiful family and I just smile and say thanks.

I'll have a conversation with her and figure out where she stands!

 

[Kbird]

The boys go stay with their moms family two nights a week, they use to see their mom not sure if they do anymore

How do you know this? I hope it’s true as I’d be nice to know those boys have time with their other family x

 

[ILoveUnicorns]

My step dad and step mum were always called their names rather than mum or dad. I lived with my mum and step dad, I was about 11. But each to their own, if the child is comfortable calling their step parent mum or dad I don’t see a problem. It’s just when R writes comments that eludes to the boys being her own when their mum is alive I don’t feel is right.

 

[MummaNoggins]

How do you know this? I hope it’s true as I’d be nice to know those boys have time with their other family x

I'd really like to think so. Away from Rancid and Cinderella life

 

[Sunflower :)]

@Sunflower :) my step child is older ( 20's). Has never lived with us full time and very much has a mum.
Your daughter ( and yes, she is your daughter) has no biological mum . It's a massive difference to how Rancid behaves. Seb and Isaac have a mum. They see their mum. There mum is very much alive. They don't call Rancid Mum.
Yet she allows people to make the assumption. It's wrong and it's hurtful and damaging to them and their mum.
All three of mine look very similar. I don't correct or really engage with randoms out and about if they comment on it. I nod and smile. I don't look old enough to have a 20 something though *preens*
If I had an insta following of thousands then, yes I would give acknowledgement and credit where its due.
She literally re-writes history to suit her and her brand.
Lots of love

I wouldn't engage with randoms either. I just say thank you and move on. My stepdaughter is 10 and our next child is 6 then 2. So it looks pretty close in age.

I'd dislike her to think I was trying to replace her actual mum.

 

[Dorothy-redshoes]

I would hate if my stepdaughter thought I was trying to take away from her bio mum. I've been in her life since she was 3, I never pressured her into calling me mum, she just decided one day and that was it. I was delighted of course. I'd never correct anyone. She looks like her mum sometimes and I do say it to her.

I just think the people that know us and are family or close friends, her school, know I'm not her bio mum but if a stranger said to me while we are out 'oh your daughter is beautiful' I wouldn't correct them. People have said to us we are a beautiful family and I just smile and say thanks.

I'll have a conversation with her and figure out where she stands!

I think it's absolutely lovely how you are with your daughter and the fact you keep her bio mums memory alive.
Your situation is completely difference and also full of so much love!
Like others have said, rach forces the issue of the boys calling her mum and the girls calling josh dad.. they have made the choice to call them both by their names..which rach should respect... she has a huge platform that alot of people know her background too. She doesnt encourage any of the children to re build relationships with their bio parents because it doesnt suit her agenda. She publically slates them which eventually those children will see. Shes a very spiteful woman.

 

[MummaNoggins]

I wouldn't engage with randoms either. I just say thank you and move on. My stepdaughter is 10 and our next child is 6 then 2. So it looks pretty close in age.

I'd dislike her to think I was trying to replace her actual mum.

You sound lovely. I'm sure you keep her bio mums memory alive. It seems like you're getting it right xx

 

[Sunflower :)]

I think it's absolutely lovely how you are with your daughter and the fact you keep her bio mums memory alive.
Your situation is completely difference and also full of so much love!
Like others have said, rach forces the issue of the boys calling her mum and the girls calling josh dad.. they have made the choice to call them both by their names..which rach should respect... she has a huge platform that alot of people know her background too. She doesnt encourage any of the children to re build relationships with their bio parents because it doesnt suit her agenda. She publically slates them which eventually those children will see. Shes a very spiteful woman.

So much love and I feel privileged to be in her life and have a say in her upbringing.

I don't like the way Rach calls Josh the girls dad. Betsy and Lula don't call him dad when they are talking to him. Dont get me started on the boys. I don't think she should be as involved as she is.

I think if it came to it on the boys wedding day or graduation and they wanted their mum in the seat next to their dad, she'd throw a fit and make it all about herself where as the rest of us would be absolutely fine with it! She's so far out of reach!

 

[Squiggle]

I think as well all of the huns know the back story or should do because of the book etc.

I think the relationship you have with your daughter sounds amazing! And you would never disrespect the memory of her mum though the boys mum is disrespected through snide comments and posts.

Sorry ladies, I'm a small bit worried now. I've never corrected anyone when we are out about saying my girls are lovely or commenting on them at all. I just say thank you. My stepdaughter calls me mum (she knows I'm not her bio mum,she passed away when stepdaughter was 1) but I'd never point to anyone that she isn't my child. Are we supposed to do this? I'd never take away from her mum, I still have their family photos up in my house, as well as our own.

I suppose I think of it from the side that, I wouldn't want my stepdaughter to feel like less of a family member by saying she wasn't mine. I may have a conversation with her later and ask what she would prefer.

 

[Fcuk38]

I would hate if my stepdaughter thought I was trying to take away from her bio mum. I've been in her life since she was 3, I never pressured her into calling me mum, she just decided one day and that was it. I was delighted of course. I'd never correct anyone. She looks like her mum sometimes and I do say it to her.

I just think the people that know us and are family or close friends, her school, know I'm not her bio mum but if a stranger said to me while we are out 'oh your daughter is beautiful' I wouldn't correct them. People have said to us we are a beautiful family and I just smile and say thanks.

I'll have a conversation with her and figure out where she stands!

I don’t think you need to have a conversation with her and why would you explain your personal family situation to strangers. Your daughters mum died when she was 1 so you are affectively the only mum she can remember- apart from photos and other people’s memories of course.

PTWM doesn’t need to explain either. Her whole brand was built on being a patchwork family she has it written in her fireplace, it’s not hard to work out. I think the only time justification is needed is if someone says they look like her.

 

[Sunflower :)]

Thanks so much ladies. You've put my mind at ease.

Does anyone here follow the nurse mum? I cant find any threads on her.

 

[Wotsit]

How does she not even know how to run a home? Yet apparently she was a single mum of 9 (including several step kids) at the age of 13, estranged from her toxic parents, living in a crappy bedsit with Torbay’s first and last incontinent octogenarian smackhead.

It’s like some of the stories she’s told aren’t quite true

incontinent octogenarian smackhead..........i am dying at this TBF R will prob turn into her soon

She wants think herself lucky that she has joyce for a wife, my husband told me i was taking the piss when i asked him to peg some washing out and run the hoover round whist i went and queued at the supermarket for an hour (3 in R's world) to do the weekly food shop. bearing in mind hes been furloughed since march but i've still worked full time (at home) you can imagine how well that went down. I've told him to contact Rach for DV assistance so she can get him in refuge within the hour.

 

[Sunflower :)]

incontinent octogenarian smackhead..........i am dying at this TBF R will prob turn into her soon

She wants think herself lucky that she has joyce for a wife, my husband told me i was taking the piss when i asked him to peg some washing out and run the hoover round whist i went and queued at the supermarket for an hour (3 in R's world) to do the weekly food shop. bearing in mind hes been furloughed since march but i've still worked full time (at home) you can imagine how well that went down. I've told him to contact Rach for DV assistance so she can get him in refuge within the hour.

My husband, put the washing machine on yesterday, with a dishwasher tablet and the dishwasher on with washing up liquid in it he wouldn't know a peg if it bit him in the face! I'd like a wife like J!

 

[Lozza0710]

I just don’t get that bed sit story?? Needles everywhere? I know she was escaping violence but did she go to a refuge first? Why not clear it up or get it cleared up first before you go and live there with your children. Why swap one risk to you and your children’s safety for another? I find it all very confusing.

 

[MrsOgre]

I just don’t get that bed sit story?? Needles everywhere? I know she was escaping violence but did she go to a refuge first? Why not clear it up or get it cleared up first before you go and live there with your children. Why swap one risk to you and your children’s safety for another? I find it all very confusing.

I think she did go to a refuge in Exeter, don't know how true that is though. I think we need to take a lot of what she says with a pinch of salt.

 

[Lozza0710]

Joking aside. Their relationship is so dysfunctional, the seven year itch next year is going to be compelling. It’s like the Hunger Games, I can’t work out which has the favourable odds for survival.
If they broke up. The huns would may need to pick a side
Omg. I’ve just had visions of Joyce becoming the male Hinch

I think one Hinch in this world is more than enough male or female