Pregnancy

[Days28]

Sorry guys that was me being annoying asking lots of questions thank you everyone for your help as I am clueless xx

Don’t worry about it lovely - it’s we’re here for, I talk about my ivf a fair bit (previously on the fertility thread) as hardly anyone in my real life knows about it, it’s nice to be open on here XX

 

[whatsfortea?]

Can I join? First pregnancy, 9+6 today and I have my harmony test and early scan on Tuesday when I'll be 10+3, then my NHS scan on the 23rd.

I am so so anxious. I feel like I've had a pretty easy ride so far in terms of symptoms (mainly just tiredness and loss of appetite in the evenings, only very mild nausea) so I feel like at some point everything is going to come crashing down. I can't even think about the birth or other baby stuff atm, I'm hoping the scan on Tuesday shows good news.

I thought I would join too Im 10 weeks with my first and have my 12 week scan on xmas eve
Had a private scan at 8 weeks with my partner which was lovely but we’re told he can’t come into the nhs 12 week scan.
Ive had sickness and tiredness so I havnt even thought about reading any books or buying any bits yet, and I feel terrible like I should be more organised
Also tried to buy a house my with partner as first time buyers but no mortgages available for us due to covid
Really enjoying this thread as I felt like I was left to just get on with it and didn’t have much communication so thank you ladies xx

 

[LittleMy]

Oh I didn’t give birth vaginally. I got to 8cm dilated then was whisked off for an emergency cesarean due to my baby’s heart rate and oxygen levels dropping. My next baby was 8lb 11oz and delivered by elective cesarean so I’ve never had a vaginal delivery. Given the weight of them, I’m kind of glad tbh.

 

[WhatABore]

Hopefully this will come into effect

 

[Definitelyme]

I found I got a lot more discharge in second trimester onwards. Just clear-whitish but I’ve now taken to wearing panty liners every day just to keep myself feeling dry as it was getting very unpleasant!
I’ve read that hormonal changes in pregnancy can make you more sweaty too! Lovely!

Maybe it’s the hormonal changes. Plus the fact I have put on weight. I don’t remember it happening until much later in previous pregnancies, but I am heavier this time. It’s definitely not discharge, I’m just a sweaty mess

Me! I'm so conscious and use the little liners in my knickers. Even after a bath or shower I feel the same. It's horrible

I’m so glad it’s not just me! It is horrible, and I know what you mean even after a shower I don’t feel totally clean at all

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Did anyone else get days where they didn't feel too bad and almost back to normal at 8/9 weeks? I feel a lot better today and I'm so worried I know I should be grateful for a break but after a loss you just worry constantly about every little thing

 

[LittleMy]

Thanks so much @Buzzbee Just someone saying it’s ok to feel that way, I was the same- does help to alleviate some of my anxiety. I almost felt like less of a woman that I was feeling this way and how absolutely clueless I am.
So just your words of advice has already made me feel less alone and less stupid.
Xxx thanks so much xxx

No problem! You’re not stupid, not at all. Nobody tells you about all this stuff beforehand. Just think of all the things you’ve yet to experience, like hearing baby’s heartbeat at later checks and feeling their kicks and movements - it’s honestly the most beautiful, surreal feeling in the world. Seeing them for the first time too; I remember being so shocked to see my baby bouncing around on the ultrasound because I’d convinced myself I’d made the whole thing up and there would be no baby, despite taking about 8 tests all positive. You’ve got this

 

[HoneyBee29]

I really sympathise with your post- my baby is very much wanted and was planned but I still have days like this- yesterday being one of them. It’s not just panicking about life after. But also the birth and the pain associated with it. I start to remember birth horror stories and it fills me with panic! I begin to doubt myself and get really scared about...everything! It’s like the enormity of it sometimes consumes me. But then I have a word with myself and I’m fine again. But I think a lot of it is hormones and the fear of the unknown, and is natural. I can’t imagine any mum or dad not worrying at all about how their life would change or a mum to be not worrying at least a little bit about the birth. Surely it’s human nature?
And I understand what you mean about people saying things like ‘it’s all downhill after a baby’ , ‘you’re never going to sleep again’. Like shut the f up! These people usually have more than one child who say it to me and I think well if it was that bad why did you have children again and again? its just like birth, if it was really that bad why do women go through it again and again? Surely it must be that the good outweighs the bad?
I mean, I don’t know. Il be a first time mum and I’m trying myself to navigate these feelings. All know is that I have a loving partner and I can’t imagine not being a mum- Iv wanted it for so long and honestly didn’t think it would ever happen as time was running out for me. I think our lives will change- that is for sure- but I reckon it will present different sort of memories and experiences and I think that’s exciting.
I really do get what you are saying and your post really stood out to me. Please feel free to DM me anytime you like because I gave these feelings too- I’m sure it will all be ok and I think like the other poster said, it will make your closer to your partner and you will enjoy the experience together. We’ve got this hun. Xxxx

I’m a first time mum too and these sorts of comments used to make me panic before I even fell pregnant and not going to lie it did start to put me off wanting to have kids. In reality parenthood is what you make of it, is it going to be hard at times? Yes I think majority know that before they even have kids we know it’s not gonna be all giggles and laughs 24/7. My mum absolutely loved motherhood and when we where babies no doubt she did find it difficult as her and my dad didn’t have a lot of money and didn’t work great jobs but all in all she loved being a mum. I find a lot of people are just so quick to jump and tell you all the negatives about it and I honestly will never say those things to a first time mum cause there’s just no need

 

[Squiggle]

I complained to my partner about being in pain and he literally went "Well, that's what happens when you're pregnant. I can't help that"
Yes. But let me complain

What a douche make sure he gives you a back rub tonight for that remark lol.

 

[littlepup]

Yes I have a bit of a heart problem, so it must be that then. I just wondered as no one had mentioned I would be seeing one so quickly xx

It will be your heart.
It's a good thing, you're getting an increased level of care, it will be consultant led rather than midwife.

Simply put, they have a bunch of differently weighted criteria they use to do a clinical risk assessment to see what level of care you'll require, they get the info at booking appt. Smoker status, age, BMI, health conditions, previous pregnancy history, socio-econmic factors (of both you and your partner) are all assessed. Certain factors inc some health conditions mean an automatic referral to consultant. So say you're 39 but have no other flags not be high enough risk to need a consultant, would be midwide led care. If you were say 22 but had a family history of genetic disabilities, were a smoker and were obese, you'd see a consultant. If you were having triplets you'd be consultant led care regardless of the other factors and so on.

As a 38 year old smoker (quit when I found out) with no other factors I'm still not considered high risk.

If you scroll to the green, amber and red on this document, it will give you an idea of risk factors.

 

[Kitt]

Update: no pain this morning, no blood. Feeling very very sick. Think I’m ok. I don’t start work til 12 today so I can’t take it easy and see how I go.

 

[Sw4]

I have my private scan and harmony tomorrow afternoon. I'm so nervous already that whenever I think about it my teeth start chattering!

 

[Sw4]

Yeah, the NHS is great for critical and emergency care but routine care has generally been lacking in my experience with it. Which is a pity.

Even the general scan experience, I get it is a medical diagnostic tool but understandably most women are also excited to see their baby on the screen but the woman just sat in front of me so I couldn't see anything, and when I tried to lean to peer around her arm to catch a peek she shouted that I needed to stay still.
I'm glad I was able to do a private scan not long before so I felt like I got the nicer experience there.

Yeah totally agree. In some ways I feel I went a bit overboard with private scans as I went for a package which included 2 scans and the harmony test. But the experience was amazing, they really took the time to show me each and every view of the developing organs, blood flow, heartbeat, took measurements multiple times to ensure it was correct and explained as they went along.

Whereas my NHS experience was very similar to yours and I think if this was the only scan I'd had I'd still be feeling very anxious as I didn't see much and she basically said nothing about it except 'yeah nothing to comment on really, things look ok' . I get the NHS is so overwhelmed and underfunded but having a good bedside manner doesn't cost anything!

 

[Tui]

My NHS scans were great, long waits for both (very nearly wet myself waiting over an hour for 12 weeks scan with a full bladder) but can’t fault the sonographers I had.

 

[Hbirdette]

Thankyou. Tbh so far they have just suggested I think about my options if this test was to come back postive. I feel like they are preparing me for the worse.
I do worry if these come back negative to what other problems they might find.
my heads just a mess tbh. I don’t know what to think really.

We found that they had to prepare us for the worst, I guess only because if we found out something bad later down the line we could hold them responsible for not telling us... not sure if that’s how I want to word it but hopefully you know what I mean. It’s really difficult cause I remember no matter what people said to me whilst I was waiting for the results, nothing helped at all. I think the fact that your emotions tend to be all over the place when pregnant too probably doesn’t help. Just take each stage 1 step at a time... I hope tomorrow goes ok for you and I hope your partner is able to come with you. I’m not sure where you are based but the staff were very accommodating despite all the covid crap going on in regards to letting my partner be at extra scans etc. I would tell you to try and keep busy this weekend whilst waiting for results, but all I wanted to do was lie in bed and cry for the whole week I’ll be thinking of you x

 

[Heybooboo]

22 weeks baby 2 high risk due to previous pregnancy eclampsia blood pressure already high so just a waiting game to have it officially again. Placenta previa too so really really hoping it moves I don’t want a c section I’m too squeamish

 

[NP]

I'm 8 weeks pregnant after 3 Miscarriages, I have a little boy already. Absolutely petrified and anxious I havnt told anyone (obviously my husband) but no one else as I'm scared I will have to untell people, never been so anxious in all my life I had a private scan last week and everything seems to be okay but I can't shake this anxious feeling aurghhhh sorry just nice to get it off my chest

Pregnancy after a loss is so difficult. I’m now 26 weeks pregnant after losing our baby back in January. This time around I had private scans at 6 and 9 weeks because I couldn’t handle not knowing if things were ok. But I feel like they only helped the worry temporarily and I would worry again until the next scan. I’ve relaxed now that I’m further along, but I haven’t enjoyed this time as much as my two previous healthy pregnancies. Having a positive healthy scan already is a good sign for you though and your 12 week scan isn’t far away now. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy.

 

[littlepup]

I hated all the comments when I was pregnant with my first. People ask how you are and you say tired. And their response was "Just wait until you've had the baby, then you'll know what tired is"
I hate all the comments

I argued with my mum about this kind of thing the other day. It's been almost 40 years since she had babies, not every single thing I say needs her input. Just let me have it.
I wish people would just stop fucking saying 'Oh just you wait...' like it's some kind of competition or they need to show how much they know and how naive I am. I get it, I'm well aware it's hard, but it's my experience, let me find out just like you did, just like every single other mother did.
It's never constructive and like 'Oh, the tiredness doesn't get better for a long time but google 4th trimester and get a white noise machine" - It's always "Just you wait, you don't know tired until you've had a newborn screaming and puking on the bed at 4am *smug smile*"

Hi everyone, on my way to the hospital. After last night I had a little bit of blood in my discharge a couple of times today. I called GP and he took it very seriously and I’m going in for a scan to check it’s not ectopic.

Thank you for telling me to call. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise. I’ll let you know how it goes xx

I'm so glad you're going in, everything you said indicated a serious situation not to be ignored. I so hope it's just regular pregnancy twangs and relieved that you'll know for sure

Please ladies, there's no room for 'I don't want to bother them' or 'It's probably nothing, don't want to cause a fuss'. The way things are right now with reduced midwife contact, lack of face to face, stay informed of the key symptoms for common complications like diabetes and pre-eclampsia and advocate for yourself with the professionals. Miscarriage is not the worst outcome, pregnancy is the most dangerous thing the average woman can go through.

So Iv got an appointment on Thursday with the obstetrician- I’m 15 weeks- and I have no idea why I’m seeing him. I presume it’s because I’m high risk due to my age and a heart problem. But what sort of thing should I expect when I get there? Will he do tests? Or just talk to me? I’m getting abit anxious about it because I don’t know what to expect! I know that sounds abit silly, but I just don’t know what sort of things they deal with. I’m totally clueless

The Pregnancy Book | HSC Public Health Agency (hscni.net) - chapter 2 might help
Or This
Good to ask those kind of questions when they book you or call your midwives and ask, they will definitively know all of the answers, each hospital can be different.
At first I found myself overwhelmed and shell-shocked every contact and I'd forget everything they said. Now I write down and write down questions before appointments.

 

[Tui]

Did anyone else get days where they didn't feel too bad and almost back to normal at 8/9 weeks? I feel a lot better today and I'm so worried I know I should be grateful for a break but after a loss you just worry constantly about every little thing

Yep, and it lasted for a good while until I developed movements and bit of a bump. I think it’s cos your placenta takes over around that time which stops you feeling so shit!

 

[Hairraiser]

Feeling so fed up tonight! Feeling my little boy kicking and moving away in my tummy is making me sad for him, bringing him into the world the way it is right now!
he’s due April but I’ve had some issues so he is likely to come early. I don’t know how I’m going to cope if he does come early and not have the support of friends and family cause I can’t see them!
I just don’t know what to say or do anymore