I felt totally adrift at first and it's only now I'm actually getting my act together rather than ignoring it because I was so massively overwhelmed but every video I watch or booklet read, even the shit ones, make me feel a little less anxious. I'm by no means expert as I've not even had the baby yet but I'm going to tell you what's happened to me and things I've found so far in case it might help you.
Don't worry about not calling until 16 weeks, just call and ask how to access the notes and any questions you have. Push for information, chase things up - no one is doing you any favours at the minute it seems.
There's some excellent resources available online, and some really shite ones, but there are quite a lot of online courses giving segments for
Freeduring covid if you google.
This is pretty dire but is something at least about the actual labour process and what happens during the birth. Also the youtube video I posted above but that's a lot more complex. At the moment in my hospital you're allowed one birth partner. They can be with you from check in so long as you're in labour until you're sent home or moved to ward in which case they can only then see you in visiting hours. No other visitors allowed at the moment. If you had to go in to be induced, they would join you once you were in active labour in your own room.
Here are tons of leaflets on different subjects that my hospital provides so some are specific to them but most I think are general.
'Choosing where to have your baby' might be a good place to start and
'The essential guide to feeding and caring for your baby' is a recommended read in later stages.
Look at what hospitals are in your area and go on their websites and find the maternity/birth section. This will tell you what services they provide. Then you can google user reviews and reports to see which you might prefer.
Where I am they assess you at your booking appointment to see if your anti-natal care can be via midwife or if you're higher risk and would the be consultant led. It's based on factors such as age, smoker status, BMI, family and your own medical history and I think maybe some social factors.
I wasn't deemed to be high risk but due to my age (38) I was concerned about the higher risk of chromosomal abnormalities and decided to get the Harmony test to speed up the process of finding out. If you're anywhere near London I highly recommend
The fetal medicine centre. I had the test just after 10 weeks along with a detailed scan and returned at 12 weeks for another very detailed scan and to discuss the results. My NHS 12 weeks scan was a bit of a shambles so I'm extremely glad I did this. It was £400 and would have included the CVS to confirm any conditions the test may have flagged. I felt that the cost of going totally private for me wasn't warranted but I'm happy to have bits privately here and there. So far this is all I've had though. I found it difficult going from 12 weeks to 20 without a scan but held off and once you feel them moving that can give you a lot of reassurance.
I still feel shit scared about the whole process but I do feel far better now I've taken it into my own hands more and know there's options to have bits and pieces done privately if I feel totally out of control/anxious. I'd really recommend getting a note pad and writing down the things you feel you want to know specifically then ticking them off to make it more manageable.
Also write down in detail things the key things the midwife says because your brain goes like a sieve.
Anyway, that might be a whole load of 'who asked you' and as I said I'm drastically underqualified but I feel like I was where you are and I'm a bit further down the line but it's still really fresh so hopefully it might help to know that things come together eventually xx
Anyone else had a baby young and have any advice? X
x
yeah I’ve got a scan booked for the 19th, I’ll be 7 weeks and 2 days. Really looking forward to it.
there’s a thought for the day!
Just as well DH has had the snip! 
