Pregnancy

[moimoi]

Did anyone panic after telling friends and family and worry they shouldn't have? We waited until after 12 weeks but now I'm worrying that we should have only told immediate family, and then the rest after 20 weeks.

I’m 22 weeks and waited until 20 weeks to tell parents (still think I should have just told them after the birth ) and work. No one else knows apart from a couple of my friends. I’ve told them to keep quiet and not tell any other family members, maybe I’m weird but I just hate people knowing my business, asking how things are and all the anxiety in case something is wrong. I could never be an influencer!

I’m gonna hold off telling colleagues for as long as possible too (they’ll probably find out whenever my maternity cover role goes online), can’t be arsed with repetitive conversations and how I’ll probably never get a good night’s sleep again.

 

[Definitelyme]

I just had my scan at the EPU there. Unfortunately only one heartbeat but to be honest I think I was expecting that. I'm just so glad the other wee bean is doing so well and they're happy that they don't need to see me till my 12 week scan in Jan!

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, but also lovely to hear that you also have one healthy little one in there. Sad and happy news all at once. X

 

[MrsJones83]

This is my first baby and so many things have surprised me so far but I think main one is that you only get 2 ‘official’ scans, I suppose it’s something I’ve never gave any thought to previously but I just presumed they would be a regular thing all through pregnancy!

I think it depends on your hospital, mine offers everyone growth scans at 36 weeks. They found it was lowering still births and problems at delivery, as they were picking up breech babies, placenta problems etc that meant they could act on it early.

 

[elloelloello]

Found out a couple of days ago that I’m pregnant with my second My working out of the dates show I’d be due 5 days after my sons birthday So many symptoms already unlike my first pregnancy!

Congratulations!! I only found out only a few days ago too, also my second, due date is (I think) also roughly 5 days before my little ones birthday

 

[Kitt]

They are Irish. I’m Irish and we will be moving back there a few years after the baby is born so they aren’t out there names back home.
Fiadh basically you don’t pronounce the dh - Fia
Sadhbh - Sive with a strong i like the letter, not sieve like the kitchen utensil!

I love these names. My husband suggested Saoirse the other day and I really like it.

 

[WhatABore]

Anyone got any tips on getting through the first trimester without too much anxiety?

I'm at 28 weeks and still full of anxiety.
Just know it's completely normal! That's the main thing to remember

 

[Definitelyme]

Honestly so happy I can join this thread! Just found out I am 5 weeks pregnant today after an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage both in lockdown - overjoyed but terrified at the same time! Already have a 3 year old. Hopefully third time lucky congratulations everyone! X

Huge congratulations!! I’m sure you are a ball of nerves, but hopefully this time will go smoothly for you x

 

[littlepup]

Update: no pain this morning, no blood. Feeling very very sick. Think I’m ok. I don’t start work til 12 today so I can’t take it easy and see how I go.

I would really strongly suggest you try for a referral to the early pregnancy clinic. It’s what it’s there for and period pain like cramps in early pregnancy are normal but what you described are not x

 

[jazyblu]

You can book, they just have to say it’s for medical reasons. It’s a loophole really but one I don’t think anyone minds people taking advantage of

Ahh okay thanks! I just looked and actually they say they are "only" allowed to go ahead for medical reasons but reassurance falls under this. Which I guess it is true, with limited antenatal care and many of your midwife appointments going over the phone rather than in person reassurance is needed more than ever.

 

[Upintheair83]

I’m a first time mum too and these sorts of comments used to make me panic before I even fell pregnant and not going to lie it did start to put me off wanting to have kids. In reality parenthood is what you make of it, is it going to be hard at times? Yes I think majority know that before they even have kids we know it’s not gonna be all giggles and laughs 24/7. My mum absolutely loved motherhood and when we where babies no doubt she did find it difficult as her and my dad didn’t have a lot of money and didn’t work great jobs but all in all she loved being a mum. I find a lot of people are just so quick to jump and tell you all the negatives about it and I honestly will never say those things to a first time mum cause there’s just no need

Yes they are so quick to be negative! I dont understand that attitude at all. It’s not helpful to anyone. And that’s not me not being realistic- I’m well aware of the hard work involved. But anything worth having is hard work. I think it’s hard enough being pregnant and battling all the emotions without someone telling you how hard it’s going to be. It’s just like the birth stories ‘it was hell on earth’ ‘down below has never been the same again’ it’s enough to terrify anyone! Why on earth would people say that to someone who’s expecting?
I do think people just like to moan though and it’s human nature to hand out dramatic stories, but I wish people would be a bit more mindful of others.
We are all aware life will change, it’s a given but wouldn’t it be nice for people to celebrate being a parent more and talk about all the positives?
i had a really bad day yesterday panicking about things, even little things. But then I looked at my scan photo and remembered all the reasons why I wanted this so much, and how loved this baby will be. I’m genuinely excited about all the times to come and I’m also realistic about how hard at times it will be. But if that’s what being a mum is about then il take it- I’m sure il have lots of other bad days, esp nearer to the time when I overly panic- but this is what Iv always dreamed about. Xx sending love to anyone having a bad day

 

[elloelloello]

Yeah I saw the yolk sac too haha. My legs were shaking so much she had to hold them still. How embarrassing.

Aww thank you. That’s so nice. I’m still at the hospital now waiting for an update and book another scan. Been here 3 hours just to book another scan.

Me too I was so scared, and when they said congratulations this looks like the start of a healthy normal pregnancy I burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying!! Such a shame we have to do it alone though.

Oh god that happened to me aswell, waited ages for another appointment and was surrounded by women with masks around there chins

I had ectopic before so when pregnant again you automatically get early scans to rule out ectopic repeat. That little yoke sac is the best thing ever. 2 wks later there was a little blob on screen and i bawled my eyes out with happiness

Awww so lovely, praying I see little baby blob next week

 

[Definitelyme]

Everyone is telling me this one will just fly out, but for me last time being even quicker than with my first meant a ridiculous amount of pain

Oh god, that does not sound good!

In terms of the stinging pee, I’ve never had that (and I’ve been ripped now to stern ). Just drink loads of water, as much as you can for days, and it’s so dilute your wee won’t sting.

I highly recommend making sure you have lots of dried fruit, and other things to help keep the bowels moving. After my first I thought I was having a second And that was several weeks after birth. All the changes in hormones and body can slow things down in there, so dried apricots and prunes are my go to snack for a few weeks

 

[Definitelyme]

Sorry guys that was me being annoying asking lots of questions thank you everyone for your help as I am clueless xx

Absolutely no apologies needed. Pregnancy and TTC is confusing and worrying. We are all there together, and that’s what the thread is for x

 

[Tui]

We never make any big announcements. We tell family, and then close friends as and when it “comes up”, so if we see them it’s obvious I am pregnant, or if it comes up in convo. I would say most people we know still don’t know I’m pregnant (24 weeks) simply as it hasn’t come up and I don’t obviously see many people atm. Don’t feel you have to tell everyone (or anyone) in a big way.

Agree, we just told closest friends then anyone who it came up in convo with. Didn’t do any big announcements, I don’t like them much after my own loss and my sister in law is waiting for ivf following a miscarriage so didn’t want to be insensitive

 

[Definitelyme]

Sorry to all who have had plans wrecked by the new announcements. We have as well. I don’t think we will see my in laws at all now until after the baby is here. I’m assuming by May (I’m due end of April) things may have calms the fuck down a bit.

 

[WhatABore]

Currently now 2 days past my due date

Unsure how to act at this point even leaving the house feel a bit nervous Incase it’s ‘time’ but after 3 days solid I need some fresh air!

Don't worry even if you do leave the house and it starts, it isn't like you see in the film
I went 40+6 with my first and that was only because I had to be induced because my waters started leaking

 

[WhatABore]

I found out with Harmony and the only thing was that it meant a lot of the excitement was over in one hit early on. You know everything then have to wait until 16 weeks for anything else to happen, bit of an anti-climax. That said, I kept saying to OH 'imagine if we were still waiting to find out, I'd be going crazy' - it made me feel more in control and made it all feel more real too. I'm glad we did find out.
Perhaps find out for yourselves and then find a special way to tell others so you still can have a bit of fun with it?



I felt like this every other day at the start. As for the Xmas jumper and card from bump etc, I didn't/wouldn't do anything like that early on, if at all. (TBF I hate that cutesy crap, as if a bump isn't enough to let people know you're pregnant, really ram it down people's throats, Just what women who are struggling want to see at Christmas.) Until the 'viable' stage at 24 weeks I didn't really truly believe my pregnancy would end in a baby.

I posted before about not feeling overly bonded with my pregnancy. Someone wrote about how you can love so much something you've not met and laughing and smiling every kick. Well, I definitely haven't felt like that!!! It worried me so much for a while but the midwives have all said it's totally normal, many women feel that way particularly when it's been a difficult or painful pregnancy. They said it has no bearing on bonding with baby when they arrive, they've even seen ladies who've felt totally bonded with their baby in their belly and when they arrive they can't reconcile the reality to the fantasy/expectation and find it really traumatic.
I think the point is that, so long as you are taking care of yourself, there's no one right way to feel or behave and it doesn't indicate anything about your eventual relationship with your child.
Also, reading idiots on Instagram saying things like 'So in love with my miracle, my body is so amazing, I love every moment of this journey, its made all my relationships stronger' etc is total bullshit and not helpful to anyone!

I completely agree!
I hate pregnancy/being pregnant. And I feel bad saying that because there are people that don't get the chance.
And I don't even know why I hate it. I think it's all the anxious times, and something being there that you can't see or have control over. At least when you've got a baby infront of you, you can visibly see if anything is wrong ect. But I just find it such an anxious time!

 

[Jg182]

Tacky doesn't matter when it comes to grandma and great-grandma, not that I think it's tacky anyway. I think it's nice to let other people have some silly excitement and something memorable. I wish we'd done something more special.
You might be surprised how many people though, even when faced with a scan picture don't quite get it or are in total disbelief and need reassurance that you are indeed pregnant

Haha yeah I think you might be right espically with great grandma...
grandma knew we were due to start ivf in January... so she’s going to be in total shock as she knows the struggles we have gone through!
We aren’t nornally big announcement type people... but I feel we deserve alittle fun with this!!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, but also lovely to hear that you also have one healthy little one in there. Sad and happy news all at once. X

Thank you! To be fair if I hadn't had that wee bleed and gone for early scans chances are I would've never have known about it, apparently it's really common and called dissapearing twin syndrome!

 

[Jg182]

Back in a&e this evening for heavy bleeding. They are still saying it looks like it’s the polyp. I feel a real mess, anxiety is so high. Don’t think im gonna get used to seeing blood.