Pregnancy #56

[Londonsays]

Hey very early days but thought I’d come and check this thread out x

 

[cat_follower]

Four days past my due date and lumbering around my house like an enormous angry bear, just want to have this baby now please having the WORST vivid dreams all night, woke up 5 times last night and almost cried when I saw that it was only 1am!

 

[raspberryjuice]

This is probably quite outing but this is what I mean. What in the holy hell is this?! If it is outing and the person who made them sees them, please for the love of god STOP MAKING ME THINGS

 

[jolly_parsley]

Can’t sleep as PGP has got so much worse in the last week or so and tonight I’ve got cramp in my leg despite being the most hydrated person ever but I can feel little Parsley wiggling and kicking which is just so cute, I love it when we’re both awake in the middle of the night

It’s absolutely nuts that in less than a week he’ll definitely be here (either natural labour or C-section scheduled at the end of the week because GD)! Feeling a bit emotional about it as I’m gonna miss feeling my little pal kicking away and then ignoring his dad as soon as he wants to feel the kicks! But also can’t wait for him to finally be here 🩵 feels like the last almost 9 months has absolutely flown by, I can’t believe we’re almost at the end of it!

 

[Elle Woods]

I’ve hated every minute of it, other than feeling baby move, seeing him on scans and shopping for him etc (so the ‘nice’ bits). Everything else has been full of anxiety, pain, sickness, stress etc. Even now feeling him move all day the anxiety is still there that something could still go wrong. My brain won’t even let me think about bringing him home because my anxiety takes over and tells me I might not. It’s been awful.

You’ve described how I feel so perfectly. I’ve always been afraid to admit it though because we tried so long and this baby is so, so wanted that I feel like I’m not allowed to admit I’m struggling through fear of looking like I’m ungrateful to be having this baby, which is totally not the case, he’s a complete blessing which I’m so grateful for, but pregnancy is hard. I’ve had a rough ride so far and have a long way to go, we’re at very high risk of pre term labour so every day is full of anxiety for me which is so all consuming it sort of overshadows all the good stuff.

 

[littlepup]

Anyone struggling to enjoy their first trimester or pregnancy in general? I wanna be soo happy and excited but I’m too scared to really enjoy it just incase xx

I struggled with my first pregnancy to the point of peri-natal depression.
This pregnancy has still been a struggle in many ways but it will be my last attempt regardless of the outcome so I'm trying to allow myself to enjoy it. I can't alter the outcome for baby by not being excited or enjoying it but I can have a really miserable time, thinking the worst to the point that I end up in a dark place in an attempt at self preservation. All it can bring is going into a 2nd baby in a bad mental space because the worry doesn't disappear once they get here.
If I buy a baby grow for a baby that I never get to take home will it make be feel worse? No, nothing will make me feel worse. But I'll have had that excitement and happy moment and that can't be undone.
I even spent the first year of my toddler's life terrified that something might happen to me or my partner, or more so them and had a few more dark episodes. So where does it stop? When do you finally allow yourself to be happy and believe it'll be ok? We never, ever know what is going to happen tomorrow but living in fear means we won't even enjoy today.
It's easier said than done. I've started therapy this time to learn how to control negative thoughts, I've only had my first session but I'm hopeful. And I'm allowing myself to look forward, without being naïve but with excitement, because the alternative is to worry myself into a position that I've convinced myself of a negative outcome that will linger even when things are going well.

I've had 5 serious relationships that have all ended. I've lost a parent and many loved ones. But I don't withdraw from those situations to try to avoid pain down the line. I'm trying to apply the same logic.

 

[Greenfly125]

Finally voted for full term. Can’t believe I’m there already 39+4 today. Had a sweep this morning which was ineffective but trying not to be too disheartened.

 

[rainbowunicorn9]

Was hoping I’d have a baby by the time a new thread came at least I can click full term and baby should be here by next thread
---

Finally voted for full term. Can’t believe I’m there already 39+4 today. Had a sweep this morning which was ineffective but trying not to be too disheartened.

I had 2 in the last week that they were very confident were effective and nothings happened either

 

[raspberryjuice]

Mr R’s dad is funny about our name. But probably because we’ve used my Dad and Grandads names and we’re double barrelling his surname to include mine (and then we’ll both take the double barrelled surname when we get married). He keeps saying stuff like “don’t we get a say in what name he has?” “Surely our opinion counts?”
Well no actually, you don’t get a say. Unless you’re giving birth to this baby your opinion is entirely irrelevant
His dad’s side rarely ask about the baby, don’t take an interest in any of it but then kick off if we don’t tell them stuff and they find out through his brothers. We can’t win. When we found out the gender we were obviously very excited and we went round to tell him and before we even got in the door he said “Well no need to tell me, it’s obviously a boy, (surname) babies always are. Did you see the rugby at the weekend?” It’s really damaged the relationship Mr R has with him.

 

[raspberryjuice]

Anyone struggling to enjoy their first trimester or pregnancy in general? I wanna be soo happy and excited but I’m too scared to really enjoy it just incase xx

I’ve hated every minute of it, other than feeling baby move, seeing him on scans and shopping for him etc (so the ‘nice’ bits). Everything else has been full of anxiety, pain, sickness, stress etc. Even now feeling him move all day the anxiety is still there that something could still go wrong. My brain won’t even let me think about bringing him home because my anxiety takes over and tells me I might not. It’s been awful.

 

[raspberryjuice]

I do feel guilty for not enjoying it. This baby is an oops baby, but I’ve wanted to be a mum for so, so long. Our plan had been to start trying this year so he’s just sped up our plans really. I tried for 2 years with an ex and it just never happened, so I know how much of a blessing this surprise baby is. I’ve just been so unwell through it all. I spent 10 weeks from 6w to 16w with severe HG and in out of hospital worrying every day that my sickness would be starving the baby and making him ill. Then as soon as that was controlled I started bleeding and was in and out of hospital again, worrying every time that my baby couldn’t possibly survive the level of bleeding and cramping I was experiencing. That went on for another 10/12 weeks. I had to stop working 12 weeks earlier than I’d planned, and before that was barely managing to go to work because I was so unwell or bleeding. Now the bleeding has stopped but baby has dropped and engaged already and I already know I’m at high risk of preterm labour so now every day I’m worrying that every little thing is labour starting and he’ll be premature. I still have to take 8 tablets a day to keep my HG controlled. I feel like absolute shit. Everything is swollen or hurts. The whole pregnancy has been a nightmare from 6 weeks and I can’t wait for him to be born and be in my arms.

Spoiler: Baby loss

I think a lot of my anxiety comes from being surrounded by baby loss too. 10 years ago my nephew died when he was 7 months old (he had a heart condition, it wasn’t SIDS, and baby’s heart has been fully checked) and as a result of that I’ve met a lot of people who have lost babies. My cousin also had a still birth around the same time and several late miscarriages since so that’s always in my mind too. I just feel like I’m never going be to able to relax and really enjoy it.

I wish there wasn’t so much expectation of women to glow and enjoy the blessing of pregnancy. Because it is a blessing, but it’s also really shit.

 

[rainbowunicorn9]

My 4 year old just turned round to me and said ‘Mummy you look fat and big’ cheers mate I am 32 weeks pregnant

My 2 year old said to me “mummy has biiiiig nipples”

 

[Amylaauren]

7 weeks today and I have my early scan tomorrow morning just need the next 24 hours to fly by

 

[Elle Woods]

The one thing I am enjoying about pregnancy is that everytime I say “I’m just going to….” My boyfriend will jump to his feet and remind me I need to rest and he’ll go and do it. I hope this habit continues

oh and I’m enjoying all the snacks I’m eating and telling everyone “the baby wants it”

 

[Brewtime87]

Omg I just managed to go to the toilet at work and there was actual movement. Really wanted to run back into the office shouting that I've pooed at last why do I feel no better for it though?!
Please tell me this won't get worse the further on I get?!

 

[jolly_parsley]

Had my 38 week midwife appointment and she said his head is 3/5 engaged and it seems he’s no longer back to back! So happy and dead excited for him to arrive

 

[Mantlepeace]

Mr R is convinced we’ll be getting up and taking him to his room to change all night so won’t need any extra change mats etc. He’s also going to apparently take every nappy across our parking area to the outside bins straight away rather than a collection at the end of the day at 3am when it’s the 4th nappy change of the night and it’s cold and drizzly?! Course you are babe

This sounds like when my husband told me he would use blue medical gloves for every nappy change so brought 3 boxes home. I’m sure you can guess how many times he actually used the gloves. (Hint: ZERO!)

 

[littlepup]

I think i'm in the minority, I love hand knits over a plain white baby grow. I don't mind dinosaurs and I've given up with no characters for oldest as they love it but I really hate foxes, slogans, big branding, chavvy/influencer style and despise 'Heartbreaker' or 'Be kind' on babies.
I'm more safari animals or neutral for boys, 'Clay bear' type, anything overly garish is a no. Girls though I love brights and pattern like 'scamp and dude', rainbows, strawberries, probably because I spend my life in black so live vicariously.
But mostly I dislike how girls stuff is all 'Think happy thoughts', 'Beautiful like Mummy' while boys is 'Wild and Free adventures', 'Strong like Daddy'.

What I thought I'd like/hate with my first changed when they arrived because their colouring and personality suited differently to what I'd gone for.

 

[Hamburglar]

Can you throw me some hideous name inspo? I need all the ammunition I can get to make her shut up

We started with Greek & Roman god names, getting more and more obscure, then moved on to the tragedeigh sub-Reddit which basically gives all the hideous names you could ever need

Wrenley, Rustyn, Draxton and Brantly I have just come across in a 10 second scroll (apols to their parents if you read here but they are awful names)

 

[raspberryjuice]

I just wrap myself around mine like a koala on a tree