Pregnancy #52

[themuffinwoman]

We didn't find out and we thought we were having a boy based off all of the old wives tales and superstitions. Our entire family also thought boy. We had a girl the most wonderful surprise ever. At first I sort of grieved the boy I thought I was having because I had his name and everything all planned but now I have my little girl I'm so in love and it's a bond so strong. It's incredible. I know I would have felt the same if I'd had a boy so I don't think gender really matters but this is likely to be our only child due to fertility issues, my age, finances and space so the fact I couldn't use my boy name upset me for a while - silly I know!

Are we the same person? Exactly the same, everyone thought boy, all the old tales screamed boy, then shock, girl. I was so upset because I thought I would fail her, I’m not a girly girl. I love sports and star wars and never owned a barbie in my life. But here I am cuddling her to sleep, I can’t even believe I felt like that because she’s her own little person and my very own best friend who I’m obsessed with 🥹 my two dogs are boys anyway haha.

ETA one of her (many!!) Halloween costumes was baby yoda so some things transcend gender.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

34 weeks today. Not sure where the time’s gone. I’ve got my first health visitor appointment today so shall be asking about the waterproof mattress covers and will report back. Anything I should ask her? My brain is a syrupy mess these days.

 

[opintionatedperson]

Hey guys, first post here! I’m 21 weeks with my 3rd, had a loss in June so am really so grateful to be pregnant. I’m really struggling however with tiredness and nausea still, I’m absolutely exhausted 24/7 my husband is home for Christmas and I’ve been napping for 2/3 hours daily and sleeping 10 hours every night and even with all this sleep I feel exhausted!! I’m sick at least 2-3 times a week but sometimes everyday at least once! Looking for moral support haha! I hate moaning as I know I’m so lucky to be pregnant but if I’m brutally honest I’m not enjoying it like I’d hoped! Feel like I’ve even such a shit mum with little to no energy to play with my kids! Sorry for the rant haha just needed to get it off my chest!

I think there is a lot of guilt around us to enjoy our pregnancies as unfortunately for some they can't or have losses. So we're told to savour every moment. Unfortunately, some parts are well just shit to paint it as it is and I wouldn't feel guilty nor made feel bad about not enjoying pregnancy. I think a lot of pressure is put on people to have the perfect pregnancy and enjoy every minute and to have this rush of love when baby arrives when the reality is not all parts of pregnancy is fun nor is it like the movies. Everyone's experience is different and we shouldn't compare eachother or should we feel bad because we don't fit in the norm..
You keep doing what your doing and don't feel bad for it

 

[opintionatedperson]

I'm one "any sign of the baby?" message away from snapping and deleting WhatsApp my 'mother' who I'm not close to at all has been messaging me saying things like "Tell her Nannas waiting!"... please just go away and leave me alone thanks, I don't enjoy talking to you at the best of times.

Id say this will drive me nuts, I've already discussed with my partner once I'm in the hospital don't tell them a thing don't tell anyone nothing. Same when I went into a&e a couple of weeks ago I said absolutely nothing until I knew everything was OK. I'm probably just going to block everyone

 

[amyy]

Honestly it’s so OTT. Most of the advice is based on the higher risk associated with getting food poisoning. Which you obviously don’t want to get when pregnant. But that doesn’t mean the food is inherently bad for you… it just means it carries a higher risk.

So I’ve avoided sushi obviously, and I’m being a bit careful around anything that isn’t fully cooked. But I’m not obsessing about it. For example smoked salmon was OK when I had my first child in 2017 (and I ate it multiple times a week with no issue). Now it’s not ok with the NHS, and my friend (first time baby, has absorbed all the rules verbatim) was telling me I was crazy to eat it. I’m happy to adapt if there is loads of new evidence (which apparently there is with smoked salmon) - but it’s does feel a bit OTT.

I feel slightly differently with things like coffee and alcohol - as they are actually mind and body altering chemicals that could affect the child. But even then, with coffee, it’s like - is having two cups one day really going to make that much of a difference? Or one mulled wine? I really don’t think so. And I’m not counting tea or coffee - the caffeine amounts are so low. However I do worry about women who drink regularly (even in low amounts) - as I’ve heard from two midwife friends how serious Fetal Alcohol Syndrome can be (and it’s less about volumes drunk, and more about regularity). My sister regularly had 2 glasses of white wine (at least twice a week, throughout) and her kids don’t have problems, but my midwife friends tell me this amount is very close to what causes most cases of FAS.

wouldn't bother with alcohol but I agree with the tea and coffee thing, the amount of people saying 'should you be drinking that' even though I have 1 coffee a day max and a cuppa at night!!


also side note- starting to feel baby now at 21 weeks. Very gentle swirls and taps but it feels so strange, keeps making me jump! Alsmost makes me feel queasy!!

 

[Onepotatotwopotato]

Straddle the two threads as I’m now in hospital. Started wetting myself last night around 9.30pm and kept an eye on it until 5am when I woke up husband and told him it was time to go into hospital. Turns out waters are going so instead of the lovely elective I had planned at 39 weeks, he may now be coming tomorrow at 35+3.

Pros: he’s already chunky, he’s also breech so it would be good to get him out, means I can eat pate and drink at Christmas.
Cons: he’s early and may need help, I miss fake Christmas on Saturday which is going to be amazing, it’s all very dramatic and I don’t like it.
Observations: my bump is deflating like a sad balloon, hospitals are insanely busy at the moment, I desperately need to paint my toenails, I can definitely buy Christmas outfits for the wee bairn now.

Oh my gosh!
If it helps loads of 34/35 week old babies are coming in my January 2024 Facebook group and they all look so healthy and are hardly needing help in NICU. Fingers crossed for you

 

[User767676]

Had one of those days where I actually realise I’m pregnant !

Started with a private scan - all good and measuring as expected. Then had my booking appointment- all booked in for my scan at 13 weeks but bad news is I will need the gestational diabetes test ! Then got round to telling my side of the family who were all surprised and happy. Really thought they would have guessed - paranoia !

Excited to have a long sleep tonight as kept waking up anxious last night !

 

[Justwatchin...]

I'm just absolutely fuming with the world today

12 weeks today and I feel like PMS moody but next level.

I am exhausted, overwhelmed and everything anyone says or does today is just pissing me right off.

Doesn't help that I'm at my in laws listening to my FIL rant about immigrants, vaccines, electric cars and politics while he has the TV on really loud and we can't watch anything for more than 5 minutes before he complains that it's rubbish and turns it over.

 

[Elisha97]

Does anyone have any tips for easing anxiety please? Or positive thinking tips etc!

Spoiler: TW

I have severe anxiety around miscarriage; I am 5 weeks today. It’s never happened to me personally as I could never get pregnant, but lots of my close friends have some really awful, sad stories. I’m not sharing my worries with them as I obviously don’t want to hurt them or make them feel uncomfortable in any way, so I was researching facts online but I think that actually made me feel worse. I find myself hovering around wondering ‘what if it happens’ and being unable to distract myself. I have ADHD and I’ve stopped all meds cold turkey which I don’t think helos

I will feel so much better after the first scan I’m sure, I just have severe endo so I’m getting a lot of random pains still in scar tissue etc

 

[aggytha]

Pregnacare is awful for sickness, my MW told me it sets a lot of women off. She said if I can’t stomach it to buy separate folic acid and vitamin D and just take those as they’re the important ones.

Congratulations @cmcdb and what a shock @aggytha ! How are you feeling about it?

Thank you!! We sort of half joked about it as my toddler kept saying “mummy has a girl baby and a boy baby in her tummy” and my stomach felt massive these past couple of weeks, but obviously it’s one of those things you feel like would never happen to you! It’s lovely and we are so happy and grateful!

We opted not to pay for an early private scan so I’ve been really anxious and trying to put the pregnancy to the back of my mind (as much as one can with severe morning sickness!) and we actually moved house just yesterday, so it’s been a pretty momentous and terrifying week I just feel like I’m in a dream state

 

[opintionatedperson]

The pressure in my pelvis the last few days is quite painful and feeling kicks at the top of my belly. Feel like bubs is getting ready for departure, not for a few more weeks obviously but can't help but feel proud of bubs, it's just so advonnced at 30 weeks when you think about it the body is amazing.

 

[littlepup]

If you see a heart beat at 9 weeks the chance of a loss is less than 1% statistically. And the way we saw it, if the worst did happen, we would want our families support or at least for them to know. If you can afford it, go for the scan.
And if money isn’t an issues at all, it I’d suggest a more professional, medical type place over window to the womb.

 

[LavaFlake]

Spoiler: Tw: early scans and miscarriage

From personal experience it’s best to wait for a scan until you’re eight weeks if you can. If you’re six weeks and you’ve got your dates slightly wrong (especially if you weren’t tracking ovulation) and it’s still too early for a heartbeat you then have an agonising wait of a week or even two weeks to see if the heartbeat is there. Whereas if you go at eight then even if your dates are a week out a heartbeat should still be present

We’ve chosen a nursery for our little man! Booked til September 2024 but thankfully I am lucky enough to be taking a year’s mat leave so can enroll him for March 2025. Can’t believe how broke we’re going to be til he gets his free childcare hours aged 3 but it already feels so worth it

 

[babyboo101]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies/help and advice! I have already done my self referral online but never had the option to add anything about it. I am still quite early so guessing it will be a while before my midwife contacts me but maybe I will phone beforehand if I can just to explain the situation or just wait for my first appointment and mention it then if I get some time on my own. Thank you again, this thread/you guys are definitely helping with my worries/questions hope everyone’s feeling ok and your pregnancies are going well however far along you all may be xx

 

[watermelon sugar]

That's cute!! I'm struggling so much, every name I hear a name I feel like I've heard before!! I might need to make one up haha

My Mum keeps suggesting Flora for a girl and I’m like ‘should I call it I can’t believe it’s not butter instead’

 

[opintionatedperson]

I personally have made choices within my own comfort zone. I do have caffeine but no caffeinated coffee and only 2-3 proper teas a day (think this falls within the guideline amounts). I don’t eat cheese anyway so that’s not been an issue for me. I have had some cured meat when it’s been on a buffet but only a couple of slices and again it’s not something I eat regularly. Alcohol wise I have had the odd drink - I have been to a couple of weddings and had a glass of champagne. On holiday I had a glass of red wine on my last night. But nothing habitual. Other than the odd sip of a drink to try someone else’s I do intend to have a glass of red wine with my Christmas dinner and glass of champagne on NYE. I’ll be 36 weeks then.
Alcohol I find when you read the guidance they tell you it’s 0 they recommend because they don’t know what’s safe. But then a number of years ago they told women with low iron to drink a Guinness a day! Plus in my line of work I work with people with substance abuse issues and see them have pregnancies whilst using many substances (not condoning this at all!) and they often have well babies (apart from withdrawal). So I’ve also been of the opinion I want don’t want to be reckless but I trust my own judgment.

I think your dead right, I think you make your own decisions based on your risk factors and experiences and it's not one size fits all. I know plenty who have smoked and drank during pregnancy and you know what, it doesn't effect me so I don't care. All I care about is my baby and myself

 

[themuffinwoman]

wish i could relate to you ladies with staying in the same clothes the only thing that stopped the nausea in 1st trimester for me was eating!

I was in maternity stuff by 10 weeks

 

[CallMeHollywood]

That’s great about the antibiotics! I personally wouldn’t feel happy with waiting an unknown amount of time before delivering. Were you booked in for an elective caesarean already? Maybe they are hoping you’ll go into labour soon (as is often the case after waters breaking) and are trying to not do anything until they absolutely have to. Which is obviously wrong. Not always the case though as I ended up being induced and went on to have an emergency c-sec (I appreciate you are earlier gestation though!)

I’d ask them outright why they are waiting and why you’ve had conflicting opinions from different medical professionals! Hope you are managing to rest up- hopefully you can channel your stress into excitement soon! Not long til you meet your baby

I’m booked in for a section as he’s breech anyway so I’m happy with that. I have a growing list of questions I want answering because three doctors are telling me very different things. It is exciting but I’m so bored and want to be at home nesting.
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When my waters went at 35+6 they checked me and said I wasnt dialated so gave me antibiotic tablets and sent me home, they said if I hadn’t gone into labour by 37 weeks I would have to come in to be induced, but they were going to get me to come in twice inbetween to be monitored! Luckily the labour went quickly and baby fudge was born the same day about 6 hours later but I couldn’t believe they would’ve let me go a week with my waters broken!

It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s an easy win for them to get you induced and back out the door again. Same with me and a section - they could have this bed back much quicker. They’re bringing women in at 10pm here to start inductions and it doesn’t make any sense.

 

[freddofrog]

Baby Fearne made her entry into the world today. She's a little 4lb 9oz and adorable. We're with the transitional team due to her weight but grateful for all the extra help to be honest.

huge congrats! 4lb 9 what a little doll
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36 weeks today! I certainly don't get the 10 movements per hour does anyone else?

nah i don’t, i think that’s a big generalisation and each baby is different! movements cause me no end of anxiety if im honest, i prod the poor thing more than id like to admit but as long as he is moving and i don’t go long spells without feeling him i don’t let myself get too worked up.

 

[opintionatedperson]

Have a checkup in the morning and cannot sleep with aniexty. I don't know why I get anxious about hearing the heartbeat or scans. I don't enjoy them at all, I'd rather be in denial. Feel like I'm in the minority as people tend to enjoy scans etc