Pregnancy #49

[WeHadFunRight]

Anyone know what you can take decongestant wise in 2nd trimester (13 weeks). Had a cold that was getting better which has taken a sudden turn for the worse so think it’s gone to my sinuses. Am miserable so much pressure!

Try some menthol crystals steaming.

potentially a nasal spray. Warm compress on the face.

Paracetamol

Vicks on your feet and chest
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Anyone know what you can take decongestant wise in 2nd trimester (13 weeks). Had a cold that was getting better which has taken a sudden turn for the worse so think it’s gone to my sinuses. Am miserable so much pressure!

Try some menthol crystals steaming.

potentially a nasal spray. Warm compress on the face.

Paracetamol

Vicks on your feet and chest

 

[hazmaz]

Me I’ll only be taking 3-4 months off at most as self employed

I just feel like I’m being shunned for only taking a smaller time off… maybe it’s the hormones

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I just feel like I’m being shunned for only taking a smaller time off… maybe it’s the hormones

It’s hard, I had to go back after 5.5 months with my first and will do the same with my second. A lot of people seem to be in a position that allows them to take more time off. It does feel like you’re being judged sometimes but don’t worry, there’s a lot of us out here who are in the same boat and doing our best for our families!

 

[hahaha62]

Has anyone planned on not taking a longer time off? I work for family and am so worried that maternity money won’t be enough to live on for a long period of time for me/us. I’m never going to be completely away from it but I’m finding the comments about how I’m bound to change my mind/things will be cheaper () while I’m off absolutely grinding my gears at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my baby, which I of course will be doing, but I’m also not getting myself in a dark hole of debt while off

I’m planning on taking a little more than six months and even then it will only be part time. I hadn’t been in my job long enough to get the company mat leave benefits so money is obviously a big factor but also means that I will be back for the busier times of the year. I have definitely had a few wee comments and looks like “aye right” when I’ve said I’m not taking the whole year but they don’t pay my bills so let it roll of my back.

 

[HoneyBee29]

Hi ladies anybody that’s had more than 1 baby, did any of you have nausea really early on like before you even got a positive pregnancy test?? I’ve another week to wait before I can test

 

[CallMeHollywood]

It’s hard, I had to go back after 5.5 months with my first and will do the same with my second. A lot of people seem to be in a position that allows them to take more time off. It does feel like you’re being judged sometimes but don’t worry, there’s a lot of us out here who are in the same boat and doing our best for our families!

The only reason I can take more than 90 days off (full pay period from company) is due to saving like a MFer since I found out and cutting back on everything I can. It’s so difficult with the cost of living rise and companies not matching this
A few years ago, my sisters friend had to go back to work after two months due to her husband losing his job very suddenly. She’d barely recovered from her section.

 

[penpitstop]

Has anyone planned on not taking a longer time off? I work for family and am so worried that maternity money won’t be enough to live on for a long period of time for me/us. I’m never going to be completely away from it but I’m finding the comments about how I’m bound to change my mind/things will be cheaper () while I’m off absolutely grinding my gears at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my baby, which I of course will be doing, but I’m also not getting myself in a dark hole of debt while off

I took a year with my first but I certainly won’t be this time-1) because I just can’t afford to 2) I found mat leave really hard and it definitely took a toll on my mental health towards the end. For me i was lonely and I just wasn’t stimulated (plus I had a baby who didn’t sleep!). I couldn’t wait to get back to work!! Please don’t feel like people are judging you, everyone’s circumstances are different

 

[fudgebox]

I just feel like I’m being shunned for only taking a smaller time off… maybe it’s the hormones

I know it’s hard but I’ve got no choice I will end up losing all my customers if I take too long off! Plus the money fortunately I’ll be able to bring baby with me anyway I’m going to set up a little area for it in my grooming room

 

[Chewycinema]

Has anyone planned on not taking a longer time off? I work for family and am so worried that maternity money won’t be enough to live on for a long period of time for me/us. I’m never going to be completely away from it but I’m finding the comments about how I’m bound to change my mind/things will be cheaper () while I’m off absolutely grinding my gears at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my baby, which I of course will be doing, but I’m also not getting myself in a dark hole of debt while off

I was off until my daughter was 8 months the first time but I had originally planned to go back after 6 but felt I wasn't ready at that point. This time I'm planning on taking the year cos financially I'm in a better position to do so! I think by the end I'll probably be desperate to get back to work but I also know this is likely my last baby so i want to enjoy that first year without worrying about work! To add I'm a nurse and I returned from mat leave the first time just in time for covid about 2 weeks before the first lockdown so that's also my excuse

 

[justonemorepage]

I'm taking 9 months but I still don't fully understand maternity pay I'm hoping it will be enough otherwise I may have to go back sooner. I'm trying to save as much as possible now but it's hard when I need to buy bits for the baby and everything costs so much. Feeling super down today about everything and my OH is not being the most supportive at the moment with my raging hormones. Everything I do seems to piss him off. Equally I'm more sensitive than usual so I'm getting so upset over the smallest things. I'm getting in my head about everything lately and it's just all getting too much. Sorry to rant and be pessimistic

 

[CallMeHollywood]

I'm taking 9 months but I still don't fully understand maternity pay I'm hoping it will be enough otherwise I may have to go back sooner. I'm trying to save as much as possible now but it's hard when I need to buy bits for the baby and everything costs so much. Feeling super down today about everything and my OH is not being the most supportive at the moment with my raging hormones. Everything I do seems to piss him off. Equally I'm more sensitive than usual so I'm getting so upset over the smallest things. I'm getting in my head about everything lately and it's just all getting too much. Sorry to rant and be pessimistic

Maybe go for a nice walk or go shopping on your own today? I find having some distance for a couple of hours works for me and OH. They just don’t quite get it sometimes, do they?

 

[themuffinwoman]

Has anyone planned on not taking a longer time off? I work for family and am so worried that maternity money won’t be enough to live on for a long period of time for me/us. I’m never going to be completely away from it but I’m finding the comments about how I’m bound to change my mind/things will be cheaper () while I’m off absolutely grinding my gears at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my baby, which I of course will be doing, but I’m also not getting myself in a dark hole of debt while off

I work in a very male dominated industry so found the perspectives of the few women really insightful. The men seemed to assume I’m now a baby making machine who will give up work (I run the company so it’s clear I have ambitions), and most of the women in my position took 3 months off. I don’t know how long I’ll be off for, but a senior woman said to me to take all the time I needed, then added if that meant taking 3 months off then take the 3, because people don’t say that enough and 3 is just as acceptable as any other number. I actually really appreciated her saying that because even though I’m on month 3 and legit don’t know when I’ll go back, it was just empowering to hear.

 

[justonemorepage]

Spoiler: TW: anxiety around birth

I've spent most of the day reading positive birth stories but they've had the opposite effect on me. It's now dawned on me that in a few months I have to get this baby out and I am terrified. I can't stop crying. The thought of having to have a c section is making me so scared but equally the other option also doesn't sound appealing I want to be empowered by it and practice hypnobirthing but at the moment I can't see the wood for the trees. So overwhelmed today in other news my OH pulled through for me earlier which did help and I do think it's hard for them to understand the hormonal changes. For some reason it's hitting me hard today.

 

[Burrito88]

Spoiler: TW: anxiety around birth

I've spent most of the day reading positive birth stories but they've had the opposite effect on me. It's now dawned on me that in a few months I have to get this baby out and I am terrified. I can't stop crying. The thought of having to have a c section is making me so scared but equally the other option also doesn't sound appealing I want to be empowered by it and practice hypnobirthing but at the moment I can't see the wood for the trees. So overwhelmed today in other news my OH pulled through for me earlier which did help and I do think it's hard for them to understand the hormonal changes. For some reason it's hitting me hard today.

I’ve been trying not to think too much about that part but also reminding myself that women have done this for hundreds of thousands of years - mostly without any pain relief or even clean facilities or medical assistance.
I think we are a lot stronger than we realise!

 

[justonemorepage]

I’ve been trying not to think too much about that part but also reminding myself that women have done this for hundreds of thousands of years - mostly without any pain relief or even clean facilities or medical assistance.
I think we are a lot stronger than we realise!

Definitely. It should be an empowering time and women should be so proud of themselves, no matter how their birth goes. I think today I've just been having a wobble and my hormones are kicking my ass!

 

[fudgebox]

I’ve been trying not to think too much about that part but also reminding myself that women have done this for hundreds of thousands of years - mostly without any pain relief or even clean facilities or medical assistance.
I think we are a lot stronger than we realise!

This is what I think too, I just think our bodies are made to do it I can do it

 

[PeterPanFan]

Just looking to see the majority re baby showers for a first pregnancy. Did someone else arrange on your behalf? If so, how far along were you?

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my first. No one has mentioned me having a baby shower, not even to ask if I am having one. Is it expected that I will arrange it if I want one? I always thought it was for a friend/family member to arrange, and I mainly don't want to for fear that people will think I'm only having one for gifts.

I don't have a lot of friends, my best friend doesn't have kids so it maybe isn't on her radar. My mum, MIL & SIL are super excited about the pregnancy but even still, none of them have mentioned if I am having one. I'm scared to ask or mention it incase they don't care to have one. I'd like a small one, even if people just came to the house for lunch etc. I'm not usually one for parties etc especially hosting but I don't really feel like this would be about me. It'd be about the excitement of the new addition.

I am feeling a bit disheartened and if I'm honest, a bit hurt after seeing baby shower posts on Instagram and know that no one really seems interested in this for me. Maybe too emotional today but has anyone else felt like this? What did you do? I don't want to speak to my OH about it as he will just say to his mum/my mum and it will feel forced if they throw one because they are asked.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Just looking to see the majority re baby showers for a first pregnancy. Did someone else arrange on your behalf? If so, how far along were you?

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my first. No one has mentioned me having a baby shower, not even to ask if I am having one. Is it expected that I will arrange it if I want one? I always thought it was for a friend/family member to arrange, and I mainly don't want to for fear that people will think I'm only having one for gifts.

I don't have a lot of friends, my best friend doesn't have kids so it maybe isn't on her radar. My mum, MIL & SIL are super excited about the pregnancy but even still, none of them have mentioned if I am having one. I'm scared to ask or mention it incase they don't care to have one. I'd like a small one, even if people just came to the house for lunch etc. I'm not usually one for parties etc especially hosting but I don't really feel like this would be about me. It'd be about the excitement of the new addition.

I am feeling a bit disheartened and if I'm honest, a bit hurt after seeing baby shower posts on Instagram and know that no one really seems interested in this for me. Maybe too emotional today but has anyone else felt like this? What did you do? I don't want to speak to my OH about it as he will just say to his mum/my mum and it will feel forced if they throw one because they are asked.

Start a WhatsApp group called “Peter pans surprise baby shower” and then leave. They’ll get the hint I’m not having one. Very few of my friends have kids so I’m not expecting anything.

 

[PeterPanFan]

Start a WhatsApp group called “Peter pans surprise baby shower” and then leave. They’ll get the hint I’m not having one. Very few of my friends have kids so I’m not expecting anything.

Thats the thing, apart from my friend that doesn't have one, all my friends do and they all had a shower. Maybe it's different times and they can't be arsed. A few weeks ago if asked I'd have probably said I didn't want one but the further on I go and better I'm feeling, the more I think it would be nice!

 

[justonemorepage]

Just looking to see the majority re baby showers for a first pregnancy. Did someone else arrange on your behalf? If so, how far along were you?

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my first. No one has mentioned me having a baby shower, not even to ask if I am having one. Is it expected that I will arrange it if I want one? I always thought it was for a friend/family member to arrange, and I mainly don't want to for fear that people will think I'm only having one for gifts.

I don't have a lot of friends, my best friend doesn't have kids so it maybe isn't on her radar. My mum, MIL & SIL are super excited about the pregnancy but even still, none of them have mentioned if I am having one. I'm scared to ask or mention it incase they don't care to have one. I'd like a small one, even if people just came to the house for lunch etc. I'm not usually one for parties etc especially hosting but I don't really feel like this would be about me. It'd be about the excitement of the new addition.

I am feeling a bit disheartened and if I'm honest, a bit hurt after seeing baby shower posts on Instagram and know that no one really seems interested in this for me. Maybe too emotional today but has anyone else felt like this? What did you do? I don't want to speak to my OH about it as he will just say to his mum/my mum and it will feel forced if they throw one because they are asked.

Because this is my first pregnancy I would like one, but like you no one has really mentioned anything plus none of my friends have children apart from one and she arranged her own baby shower which was lovely but I don't know if I want the stress of doing it myself, thinking of games, food etc. I've started thinking maybe I won't bother with one after all, but like you say, seeing stuff on IG makes you feel a bit left out at times. It's always extravagant, expensive set ups and I can't afford anything like that plus I wouldn't expect someone to do that on my behalf either. Could you suggest to a few friends and family about lunch or afternoon tea? Or maybe a picnic in the park or something like that?