Pregnancy #42 the only place where vomiting down yourself isn’t frowned upon

[disillusionedbythegram]

Does anyone know why the stigma around not breastfeeding is so opinionated and emotional for people? I personally am unsure if I want to breast feed as the thought of it is making me really anxious but I’ve had such negative reactions when I’ve mentioned it. It’s such a personal thing, of course I want what’s best for my baby, but I also want to be 100% in myself. My friend bottle fed her little one and she won’t breast feed her one on the way as she doesn’t feel like she wants to. I don’t see anything wrong with that and I’d personally never judge a woman’s choice.

i’m sorry you’ve been made to feel judged when you’ve shared this! I breastfed my first and plan to with my second, but my main reasons for doing it were money saving. If I wasn’t able to do it or found it too difficult, I was totally open to formula instead but thankfully we had a pretty easy ride with it.
I think the actual stigma maybe comes from the history around the introduction of formula, how it was marketed as an easier way to feed babies and was better nutritionally, so the medical industry has always tried to push breastfeeding so as it isn’t seen as the less nutritional balanced choice? Nowadays, formula is so advanced that I really don’t believe there’s much difference (the only difference I guess is that breastmilk can adapt to specific baby’s needs, like if it’s hot or baby is poorly) but for a time formula was definitely not as good for baby as breastmilk so maybe that’s why people get defensive?

 

[WhatABore]

Does anyone know why the stigma around not breastfeeding is so opinionated and emotional for people? I personally am unsure if I want to breast feed as the thought of it is making me really anxious but I’ve had such negative reactions when I’ve mentioned it. It’s such a personal thing, of course I want what’s best for my baby, but I also want to be 100% in myself. My friend bottle fed her little one and she won’t breast feed her one on the way as she doesn’t feel like she wants to. I don’t see anything wrong with that and I’d personally never judge a woman’s choice.

One of the strangest things I found each time I announced a pregnancy, was the amount of people that responded with "Are you going to breastfeed?"
I wouldn't in a million years think to ask anyone that because it's none of my business and what difference does it make to me? Nothing.
So I don't understand why people ask/care.

 

[tarquin16]

Does anyone know why the stigma around not breastfeeding is so opinionated and emotional for people? I personally am unsure if I want to breast feed as the thought of it is making me really anxious but I’ve had such negative reactions when I’ve mentioned it. It’s such a personal thing, of course I want what’s best for my baby, but I also want to be 100% in myself. My friend bottle fed her little one and she won’t breast feed her one on the way as she doesn’t feel like she wants to. I don’t see anything wrong with that and I’d personally never judge a woman’s choice.

I'm planning on bottle feeding from the start, not had any negative comments yet but I'm waiting for it. Already bought some ready to feed bottles to go in hospital bag

 

[themuffinwoman]

Does anyone know why the stigma around not breastfeeding is so opinionated and emotional for people? I personally am unsure if I want to breast feed as the thought of it is making me really anxious but I’ve had such negative reactions when I’ve mentioned it. It’s such a personal thing, of course I want what’s best for my baby, but I also want to be 100% in myself. My friend bottle fed her little one and she won’t breast feed her one on the way as she doesn’t feel like she wants to. I don’t see anything wrong with that and I’d personally never judge a woman’s choice.

Genuinely no idea, I find pregnancy brings out the worst in people shoving their judgement and opinion down your throat so maybe it’s also to do with that? My friend wanted to breast feed but was hardly making any milk so they ended up bottle feeding and she said the mantra should be “fed is best” because her baby lost a lot of weight and her body was under major stress. I also wouldn’t judge, pregnancy is such a deeply personal thing and as long as babies are happy and healthy I don’t get why anyone cares if it’s bottle or breast.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I really want to breastfeed again, but not necessarily for the "right" reasons. I don't want to spend a fortune on formula, and I'm too lazy and disorganised to be faffing about sterilising and prepping bottles. We did baby led weaning last time for similar reasons; I'm too lazy to make and freeze purees, and I didn't want to spend a fortune on jars and pouches, so he just ate variations of what we were having.

Unfortunately, I think you get judged in every aspect of parenting, you just need to learn to smile and nod, and do things your way. I always covered up to feed my son, because I felt more comfortable that way. I'd still get looks and whispering, but I ignored it. Only once did anyone actually say anything, and I didn't need to defend myself because another woman jumped in and told them where to go.
One time I took a bottle of expressed milk out as we were trying to prepare him for me going back to work. There was a bit of a faff in Costa around getting some hot water to warm it up, and the snotty cow on the next table said to her friend "wouldn't be an issue if she'd breastfed." I soon put her straight

 

[nefariousnellie]

Mum's health is important as baby's health and I think a lot of people don't consider that when it comes to the breastfeeding debate (and more generally too)

I intend to breastfeed but I'm certainly not going to work myself up if it doesn't happen, sometimes it just doesn't.

I've felt like I've had loads of energy today it's so weird, got loads of stuff done around the house which is good. I'm sure I'll be exhausted again by the time it's time for work tomorrow

 

[Nayalove96]

I intend to breastfeed but if I can’t I’m not bothered! I don’t see why some people are so bloody judgey!

 

[calmyourritas]

Does anyone know why the stigma around not breastfeeding is so opinionated and emotional for people? I personally am unsure if I want to breast feed as the thought of it is making me really anxious but I’ve had such negative reactions when I’ve mentioned it. It’s such a personal thing, of course I want what’s best for my baby, but I also want to be 100% in myself. My friend bottle fed her little one and she won’t breast feed her one on the way as she doesn’t feel like she wants to. I don’t see anything wrong with that and I’d personally never judge a woman’s choice.

I intended to try breast feeding but it didn’t work out for me due to a few reasons, so baby Rita has always been formula fed. I do feel like some people judge and I just don’t get it.. what’s it got to do with them?

However, I don’t let it bother me and if I had another baby I would formula feed 100%. It works for us

 

[Nipslips]

I’m over on the parenting thread having the same internal battle. Little slips had a rough introduction into the world and the only time he gives us any grief is when I turn him sideways to feed from the boob. He doesn’t even look at it. Iv been pumping and have gotten enough for 3 bottles and so that’s what he’s been getting. Other times he’s on premade formula. I realise this can get expensive but at 6 days a mother, this is what’s working for me right now. Imagine I still struggle that I’m not breast feeding despite getting a lot of breast milk into him

 

[Rdogk24]

Thanks for the lovely responses/advice! I personally suffer from mental health issues which are under control right now due to medication and mentally I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve heard breast feeding can take a toll on some ladies mental health for various reasons and I really just don’t want to risk it. PND is something that’s been on my mind a lot too, I don’t know if I’ll be more prone to it due to existing mental health issues and the thought of that plus breastfeeding is just overwhelming. So much new territory for a young first time mum

 

[Daisydunn15]

Thanks for the lovely responses/advice! I personally suffer from mental health issues which are under control right now due to medication and mentally I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve heard breast feeding can take a toll on some ladies mental health for various reasons and I really just don’t want to risk it. PND is something that’s been on my mind a lot too, I don’t know if I’ll be more prone to it due to existing mental health issues and the thought of that plus breastfeeding is just overwhelming. So much new territory for a young first time mum

I have to say breastfeed has been the hardest part for me so far, I intended to exclusively breastfed and for various reasons it just didn't work and I was heartbroken. At the time it was the end of thr world, looking back a few months later it really wasn't worth it.
If we have another I don't know whether I would try again now I have more knowledge or whether I would skip it and go straight to formula. My baby is absolutely thriving with combi feeding.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

This baby is playing a serious game of cat and mouse with me already. She kicks and wriggles like crazy but the moment I put my hand on my stomach to try and feel her from the outside she stops!!! Every time. I left my hand there for a few minutes just now to see if she’d kick again with my hand there but nope… take it off she’s back at it like she’s in a jungle gym. Wind up merchant.

 

[catgal]

Does anyone know why the stigma around not breastfeeding is so opinionated and emotional for people?

Do what’s right for you and don’t listen to others opinions, it’s your baby. As others have said, formula is so much more advanced these days and fed is best!! I’m formula feeding from the start. I’ve never had the urge to want to breastfeed. I want my boyfriend involved and I don’t want to be in demand all the time. Selfish I know but I’ve given my body to baby already for 9+ months! It terrifies me that not enough milk comes in and baby ends up underfed and heard it can be pretty sore and end up with infection. But do whatever you feel!! I’m dreading the faffing with bottles, sterilising etc but hey ho it’s amazing that women manage to breastfeed but it’s just not for everyone I don’t get why it matters as long as baby is fed

This baby is playing a serious game of cat and mouse with me already. She kicks and wriggles like crazy but the moment I put my hand on my stomach to try and feel her from the outside she stops!!!

How annoying is it when you shout your partner over to feel and they stop

Sorry for another comment but anyone in or been in my position…
I’m 40+5 as of today(Monday). Midwife tried but couldn’t do a sweep on Saturday as my cervix is closed but is softening. I am at the hospital later today for a growth scan (they say growth is tailing off even tho they couldn’t get head measurement as she’s engaged cue tears and unnecessary stress plus she had put on weight, just not as much as expected but I know to take these scans with a pinch of salt!) and they will also try a sweep again. I’m provisionally booked in for an induction on Thursday (41+1) but I think I want to hold off all being well tomorrow and give baby girl a better chance of coming herself… not sure what I’m needing from this comment I just don’t want to force her to come out unnecessarily and there’s a reason my cervix is still closed!? I know this can change quick, just unsure what to do!

 

[Nipslips]

Do what’s right for you and don’t listen to others opinions, it’s your baby. As others have said, formula is so much more advanced these days and fed is best!! I’m formula feeding from the start. I’ve never had the urge to want to breastfeed. I want my boyfriend involved and I don’t want to be in demand all the time. Selfish I know but I’ve given my body to baby already for 9+ months! It terrifies me that not enough milk comes in and baby ends up underfed and heard it can be pretty sore and end up with infection. But do whatever you feel!! I’m dreading the faffing with bottles, sterilising etc but hey ho it’s amazing that women manage to breastfeed but it’s just not for everyone I don’t get why it matters as long as baby is fed


How annoying is it when you shout your partner over to feel and they stop

Sorry for another comment but anyone in or been in my position…
I’m 40+5 as of today(Monday). Midwife tried but couldn’t do a sweep on Saturday as my cervix is closed but is softening. I am at the hospital later today for a growth scan (they say growth is tailing off even tho they couldn’t get head measurement as she’s engaged cue tears and unnecessary stress plus she had put on weight, just not as much as expected but I know to take these scans with a pinch of salt!) and they will also try a sweep again. I’m provisionally booked in for an induction on Thursday (41+1) but I think I want to hold off all being well tomorrow and give baby girl a better chance of coming herself… not sure what I’m needing from this comment I just don’t want to force her to come out unnecessarily and there’s a reason my cervix is still closed!? I know this can change quick, just unsure what to do!

I wish I could offer advice here but I can’t. I can just totally relate. I had an emergency C-section post induction with a sweep before that too. It was a very long ordeal where we ended up in a C-section anyway. I made no progress until they broke my waters for me after 18 hours. Always a chance that you’ll be able to deliver naturally at that stage. I certainly thought I would have but through sheer size of baby it was not to be and never an option imo. Baby must come out. And at 41+1 you’d have maybe 2 more days to play with? It’s 10 days over where I’m from. I know of people who do wait, and everything works out for them. For me, if I was to do it again - I would. In saying that, I know more people who have had really really successful inductions. So long story short - I don’t know what to tell you to do. There are benefits to both x best of luck x

 

[Itsallthecheese]

Another night of no sleep and constant pain feel sick with it... It's gonna be a long long week at work.

 

[Ro98]

Has anyone else on here had cloudy urine during pregnancy? I’ve had it on/off for a couple of weeks.
No other signs/pains which would indicate an infection but I read something online which said other signs might not show during pregnancy. Now thinking I should just get it checked to be sure

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Had an awful, awful nightmare last night that I can’t shake. And I was woken up by the worst RLP I’ve ever felt - not from turning over but from shuffling my bum back about an inch! It lasted for about 1 minute but felt like an eternity

 

[pink_lemonade]

Oh my god I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus!
Dead hips, coughing up acid from my heart burn, think I seen every hour from 1am because I was up weeing! I am so tired
Calling my boss to say I’m working from home today, I can not face seeing people today

 

[WhatABore]

Has anyone else on here had cloudy urine during pregnancy? I’ve had it on/off for a couple of weeks.
No other signs/pains which would indicate an infection but I read something online which said other signs might not show during pregnancy. Now thinking I should just get it checked to be sure

My pee is always cloudy during pregnancy for some reason.
The midwife did say it could be discharge as I never had an infection!

 

[imtakingabath]

Has anyone here breastfed their baby when they already have a toddler running round? I never managed to breastfeed my first son as I simply didn’t have a clue what I was doing and he refused to latch on, but I’d like to try again this time round, as I think faffing with bottles might be a pain when I also have another child to look after. But then I don’t know if it will be difficult breastfeeding for long periods when the older one wants entertaining etc., whereas feeding a bottle always seemed relatively quick.