STOP I'm about to boke.i just wanna throw it out there that the email could have been literally anything, my sisters first email address started out as Jamdonuts & somethingalso, no wonder their family is so dysfunctional, iâd never be caught talking about my mum like this
Polly Vadasz #3 new year new me, 167 counts of bigotry, hehe
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Pollyvdsz Threads
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
This really helps contextualise just how ridiculous the 'but she was only a child!!' argument is. She was old enough to be going into college. She was old enough to get the credentials needed to enter the workforce. She was old enough to be on the cusp of starting her own business. She was old enough to know better. End of.
Also, you can get a job at 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I completely agree what Polly said was abhorrent and it shows an entrenched view. It was definitely her world view and her seemingly conservative upbringing all goes hand in hand. I also think her apology was weak and that she needs to address it properly instead of going offline while this situation escalates.
Itâs just got me thinking. Can anyone say theyâve gone through life without regretting a worldview they held before? Iâm a psychologist and I canât help but consider this approach extremely black and white, whereas life happens in the grey area. If I gave up on a client because they were racist, Iâd be pretty disappointed in myself. This is less about Polly and more about cancel culture in general. I canât think of any influencer or celebrity who has been deemed âcancelledâ where the public were satisfied with their apology - because the argument always returns to âWell they did it in the first place, they clearly meant it and itâs part of themâ. It does seem that once the act has been committed, thereâs no going back. Unless someone can point me in the direction of a celeb that has managed the heartfelt apology weâre looking for that does completely redeem their character (because I would genuinely like to know if you can think of anyone).
In the last few years Iâve had deeply uncomfortable conversations with family members about race and pro-life/pro-choice debates. People I love have had bigoted world-views. We have had difficult conversations; some have changed their views, others have held onto their discriminatory values. Am I supposed to cut ties from people who have held those views in the past? I canât say my Uncle dedicated himself to âbettering himselfâ or donated to any charities for redemption. I also know my Uncle is not an influencer, like Polly (thank god, he would be a true menace). Iâm not saying itâs our responsibility to educate anyone but these views clearly come from a place of ignorance, fear, whatever way they were raised, whatever life experiences theyâve had, it can be a form of self-preservation, protection. Thereâs lots of reasons and the results are harmful, terrible, ugly; but there are always misguided reasons. Iâm not saying you have to empathise with racists, ableists, abusers. I am saying thereâs a reason they are the way they are. Itâs misinformed, itâs incorrect - but vilifying them doesnât do anything productive. Human nature is not black and white, people are not wholly good or bad.
I also think itâs interesting people point out â16 is old enough to understand racismâ. Sixteen in many countries isnât even old enough to understand consent. Many people much older than 16 sadly still do not understand racism. But at sixteen, youâre still living with your parents. Youâre probably in school. Your world is much smaller than it later becomes. I know I didnât share those views when I was 16, I knew better. But then again, I was raised in liberal household, went to a public school, was exposed to books and ideas that made me realise my privilege. Iâm not above thinking if my life situation had been different, I could have grown up with racist views too. Youâre not born racist. Not everyone reaches the same conclusions at the same time - but isnât the point that they grow, change and get there? (Also Iâm not saying Polly has arrived there lol I canât comment because I donât know, but simply wondering)
Lastly, I think Iâm actually curious what solution there is? When someone has been found to have said hateful things or done a hateful act in the past - how can it be fixed in the present? I saw someone ask this question on Twitter where it received a response âItâs not my job to educate you. Figure it out yourselfâ. Which I understand and the asker was hostile/provocative anyway, but ultimately that kind of response is a cop-out too. Itâs probably because no one knows the answer. Once youâre branded a racist, itâs unlikely anyone will forget regardless of what you do, even if you have genuinely changed and produce a heartfelt apology. Again: Iâm not apologising for racists, but Iâm curious about former-racists and where they belong in the world. Do they still have a place or would you choose to disassociate with them based on their past beliefs?
In regards Polly Vadasz, maybe she still holds those views, maybe she doesnât. I donât know. I do know thereâs some cruel comments in this thread, particularly blaming her for her âdysfunctional familyâ. Right now her apology is hollow, the decision to donate future proceeds is ridiculous. I always feel like donating to charities when youâve been caught out is hollow anyway. Sheâs clearly worried about her businessâ image making her profile private and silencing comments on the Sighh page. Iâve never bought anything from Sighh and I donât know her at all. I know she has hurt people, she needs to take real responsibility, apologise, make steps towards meaningful change.
Sorry for the length. This is mostly useless content, I was just thinking out loud. Also major props to Yasminjohal! Best call out Iâve ever read.
Itâs just got me thinking. Can anyone say theyâve gone through life without regretting a worldview they held before? Iâm a psychologist and I canât help but consider this approach extremely black and white, whereas life happens in the grey area. If I gave up on a client because they were racist, Iâd be pretty disappointed in myself. This is less about Polly and more about cancel culture in general. I canât think of any influencer or celebrity who has been deemed âcancelledâ where the public were satisfied with their apology - because the argument always returns to âWell they did it in the first place, they clearly meant it and itâs part of themâ. It does seem that once the act has been committed, thereâs no going back. Unless someone can point me in the direction of a celeb that has managed the heartfelt apology weâre looking for that does completely redeem their character (because I would genuinely like to know if you can think of anyone).
In the last few years Iâve had deeply uncomfortable conversations with family members about race and pro-life/pro-choice debates. People I love have had bigoted world-views. We have had difficult conversations; some have changed their views, others have held onto their discriminatory values. Am I supposed to cut ties from people who have held those views in the past? I canât say my Uncle dedicated himself to âbettering himselfâ or donated to any charities for redemption. I also know my Uncle is not an influencer, like Polly (thank god, he would be a true menace). Iâm not saying itâs our responsibility to educate anyone but these views clearly come from a place of ignorance, fear, whatever way they were raised, whatever life experiences theyâve had, it can be a form of self-preservation, protection. Thereâs lots of reasons and the results are harmful, terrible, ugly; but there are always misguided reasons. Iâm not saying you have to empathise with racists, ableists, abusers. I am saying thereâs a reason they are the way they are. Itâs misinformed, itâs incorrect - but vilifying them doesnât do anything productive. Human nature is not black and white, people are not wholly good or bad.
I also think itâs interesting people point out â16 is old enough to understand racismâ. Sixteen in many countries isnât even old enough to understand consent. Many people much older than 16 sadly still do not understand racism. But at sixteen, youâre still living with your parents. Youâre probably in school. Your world is much smaller than it later becomes. I know I didnât share those views when I was 16, I knew better. But then again, I was raised in liberal household, went to a public school, was exposed to books and ideas that made me realise my privilege. Iâm not above thinking if my life situation had been different, I could have grown up with racist views too. Youâre not born racist. Not everyone reaches the same conclusions at the same time - but isnât the point that they grow, change and get there? (Also Iâm not saying Polly has arrived there lol I canât comment because I donât know, but simply wondering)
Lastly, I think Iâm actually curious what solution there is? When someone has been found to have said hateful things or done a hateful act in the past - how can it be fixed in the present? I saw someone ask this question on Twitter where it received a response âItâs not my job to educate you. Figure it out yourselfâ. Which I understand and the asker was hostile/provocative anyway, but ultimately that kind of response is a cop-out too. Itâs probably because no one knows the answer. Once youâre branded a racist, itâs unlikely anyone will forget regardless of what you do, even if you have genuinely changed and produce a heartfelt apology. Again: Iâm not apologising for racists, but Iâm curious about former-racists and where they belong in the world. Do they still have a place or would you choose to disassociate with them based on their past beliefs?
In regards Polly Vadasz, maybe she still holds those views, maybe she doesnât. I donât know. I do know thereâs some cruel comments in this thread, particularly blaming her for her âdysfunctional familyâ. Right now her apology is hollow, the decision to donate future proceeds is ridiculous. I always feel like donating to charities when youâve been caught out is hollow anyway. Sheâs clearly worried about her businessâ image making her profile private and silencing comments on the Sighh page. Iâve never bought anything from Sighh and I donât know her at all. I know she has hurt people, she needs to take real responsibility, apologise, make steps towards meaningful change.
Sorry for the length. This is mostly useless content, I was just thinking out loud. Also major props to Yasminjohal! Best call out Iâve ever read.
The problem with this kind of 'right of redemption' everyone keeps talking about for influencers etc is that it comes at the cost of other people having to forgive and forget, which isn't fair to force on people affected. How do you balance that? People can follow who they want on social media, they can buy products from whoever they want, they can collaborate with who they want. Does this 'right of redemption' involve making people continue following/buying/working with a person they now find unpleasant? I would also say the more public the hateful speech, as well as the volume of it, should be proportionate to the action taken by the person who spewed it. It annoys me when these things are all bandied together under the 'cancel culture' umbrella to be honest. We are not talking here about one or two occasions (as Polly's Mum seemed to think) or even one marginalised group (not that this would make it better). I was literally sat with my mouth open reading what Polly had said, as a rape survivor especially I can't get what she said out of my mind. The idea that someone would hear about my experience and sit there gleefully thinking 'I'm glad that isn't me' - it turns my stomach. I think it is fair that the consequences for so many posts like that over such a long period have to be greater?
A really well considered point of view, thank you for sharing
I agree that no apology Polly gives would be deemed acceptable, because people are too upset and outraged at the things she has said. I for one donât think thereâs anything she can say that would make me forget and forgive those abhorrent things she has said. If it was a handful of tweets I could maybe have written it off as a product of her experiences. But some of those tweets were later than the age of 16. And we all have biases and judgements, but we donât all share them like she did. If she thinks something negative about a particular marginalised group of society, it very well may be due to her upbringing and influences that she thought those things (I mean weâve seen what her mum is like, so itâs hardly surprising sheâs the way she is), but to think itâs appropriate to share them in a public forum? Thatâs another thing in itself. I know I have my own biases (we all do, itâs human nature), but I would never publicly share negative judgements about minority groups. She surely had the wherewithal to know that some things you just donât say, even if you think them.i sincerely hope Polly doesnât have a major breakdown over this because she doesnât deserve that - no one does, but I canât say I will be sympathetic if her business and online presence suffers. Sheâs caused a lot of hurt.
Jesus Christ thatâs a paragraph. I canât begin to address half of what you said coz I have things to do in my day but
1) the âdysfunctional familyâ thing was a direct quote from Polly herself
2) she was 18 in many of her comments which is a whole adult, she was running a business and taking minority groupsâ money when spewing this hatred
3) itâs about more than just her racism, but also her abhorrent views on fox hunting and horse racing and general animal cruelty which were confirmed to still stand as of Boxing Day 2021
4) I donât think I can forgive anyone for ever making a rape joke as someone who has been a victim of rape, or ever look past someone ever saying they wanted to stamp on an Ethiopian childâs head
as for the apology point, I agree, itâs hard for someone to sometimes properly apologise. But for one sheâs still hiding this behind a private account and not posting on her business account, which is where it matters
I also think people should be allowed to want nothing to do with someone after this. People are valid in saying she canât come back from this. Iâm not in the wrong to say I wonât ever believe sheâs changed. Itâs hurtful to read that knowing you gave money to someone.
think that covers it.
1) the âdysfunctional familyâ thing was a direct quote from Polly herself
2) she was 18 in many of her comments which is a whole adult, she was running a business and taking minority groupsâ money when spewing this hatred
3) itâs about more than just her racism, but also her abhorrent views on fox hunting and horse racing and general animal cruelty which were confirmed to still stand as of Boxing Day 2021
4) I donât think I can forgive anyone for ever making a rape joke as someone who has been a victim of rape, or ever look past someone ever saying they wanted to stamp on an Ethiopian childâs head
as for the apology point, I agree, itâs hard for someone to sometimes properly apologise. But for one sheâs still hiding this behind a private account and not posting on her business account, which is where it matters
I also think people should be allowed to want nothing to do with someone after this. People are valid in saying she canât come back from this. Iâm not in the wrong to say I wonât ever believe sheâs changed. Itâs hurtful to read that knowing you gave money to someone.
think that covers it.
While everything you say here is worth considering, it's important to note that Polly is someone who has been on the internet since she was at least a young teenager. She's someone you could describe as 'chronically online', and if her conservative household and private education prevented her from being more open-minded as a child and teenager, then at the very least the very prominent BLM movement in 2020 (which for the most part took place on social media due to the pandemic) should have made her sit with herself and consider her own views as an adult (as it made me). Over ten years have passed since the earliest tweets she posted, and not once did Polly - someone whose whole brand and personality is based on 'being online' - think to look back at her previous views, challenge them and remove them from the social accounts that she relies on to reflect her brand. Her tweets and the views they represent may be a reflection of who she was a decade ago, but her lack of action and self-reflection shows who she is now.
Last edited:
Another influencer that has spoken about via her stories about Polly: bethanyfrancesca_
She has around 20.5k followers on Instagram.
She has around 20.5k followers on Instagram.
Yeah Gabby Lindley, whatâs the point in not naming them, eh?More from Yasmin
this this this. The sheer arrogance of her to say in her apology sheâs âstruggling to rememberâ having these views when they were clearly a core part of her personality for YEARS and YEARS. No chance. She shouldâve removed these things sooner
I think the issue is more about having a platform. Your racist uncle isnât likely to have access to many followers. But influencers do, and while we can forgive, we shouldnât necessarily forget, and we definitely shouldnât allow them to continue to have a public platform.
Very this.
Plus, when I was 16, I was very vocal about animal welfare and LGBT rights, had been vegetarian for a year, and came out. While I didn't necessarily understand all about systematic racism, I still understood racism = bad, and it wasn't OK to use slurs (not that it even entered my mind to want to use them anyways)
So, we definitely can do stupid things when we're young. I know I had an attitude problem at times, and was moody, but I'd slam doors, lock myself in my room and play The Sims for hours on end, and only grunt in response if my parents asked me something. I wasn't posting about stamping on Ethiopian children or how much I hated foreigners.
Annnd, my thoughts on 'cancelling' Polly - I have a small business myself, and for me it's not about cancelling anyone. It's about informing people of this and letting them decide for themselves if they want to support/continue supporting her business.
Probably posted my essay in the wrong thread, to clarify my points are less about Polly Vadasz specifically and was curious more broadly when does forgiveness become impossible. 
Another thing I was wondering is what do ye think about actually going back and deleting those kinds of tweets before people find them? Is it a form of erasure and denying you were ever that kind of person? Or is it encouraged if you regret them now? Generally wondering hahah sorry, ye are being subjected to the onslaught of thoughts this has brought up for me.
Another thing I was wondering is what do ye think about actually going back and deleting those kinds of tweets before people find them? Is it a form of erasure and denying you were ever that kind of person? Or is it encouraged if you regret them now? Generally wondering hahah sorry, ye are being subjected to the onslaught of thoughts this has brought up for me.
Absolutely.
Additionally, it depends on growth since the views were expressed. Several people who know Polly have expressed that they are not surprised by these views as she has treated them poorly and expressed concerning viewpoints before.
I donât even think she has changed tbh because her Mum was firstly defending her, there was also a tweet where if I recall her Mum said something dodgy about Asian people too (and we are definitely not going to be excusing that for âageâ, right? 
) then thereâs that âanonymousâ account that said something like âshe doesnât post these views anymoreâ as if she still has them in private? So to me any talk of redemption etc in her particular case is just redundant 
) then thereâs that âanonymousâ account that said something like âshe doesnât post these views anymoreâ as if she still has them in private? So to me any talk of redemption etc in her particular case is just redundant I get you; they're thoughts I've also had. Personally, if I knew I had posted tweets in the past that were riddled with slurs and hatred, I would want to remove them to avoid hurting anyone else who may read it. I wouldn't pretend it never happened, but I also wouldn't necessarily update my folllowers like, "Whassup guys, I used to hate foreigners but now I don't!Probably posted my essay in the wrong thread, to clarify my points are less about Polly Vadasz specifically and was curious more broadly when does forgiveness become impossible.
Another thing I was wondering is what do ye think about actually going back and deleting those kinds of tweets before people find them? Is it a form of erasure and denying you were ever that kind of person? Or is it encouraged if you regret them now? Generally wondering hahah sorry, ye are being subjected to the onslaught of thoughts this has brought up for me.
". Instead, I'd be vocal in my support for anti-racist movements, be honest about my past beliefs and encourage others (especially those with similar backgrounds and privilege to mine) to be more active in their self-reflection and beliefs.- Status