Odd Neighbours / Neighbour Problems #2

[whoareyouu]

Neighbours blocking the access on our shared drive as they’ve got visitors and only have one parking space. Loads of visitors bays but no, can’t possibly park in one of those.

I had to go and ask them to move this morning as I couldn’t get my car out and their visitors car has moved back into the exact same position.

Why don’t people just think?

 

[Avenged7Fold]

It’s almost 2am and the neighbours are still up shouting to each other. The kids are in their bedroom playing on their consoles. Dad is shouting comments up the stairs to them and laughing really loud. The best ear plugs in the world can’t block this racket out. Im soooo tired

 

[omgucnt]

Well it’s started for the summer, my neighbours having 15 people in their garden every night until 3am, laughing and singing all night.
Once or twice a week is ok but it’s every night.
Just went to make some tea and someone laughed so loud I jumped out of my skin lol

 

[Pesky Tarian]

Yes I think so, she doesn’t have any friendship circle, I think she’s abit of a hermit aswell and doesn’t go out much either, she also is a cleaner at a school (ironic as their house is a dump) so she also works alone, I feel sorry for her but also life is also what you make it, her and her partner also neglect their child too so then I stop feeling sorry for her and feel for the child hence why I reported them to nursery and they’ve since had home visits and health visitors round

I have stumbled across this thread and your situation sounds so much like me and my previous neighbours. Both worked but the house was a tip and they never took the children anywhere.

At first I felt sorry for them and joined them in on trips to the park, walks but soon it became expected. It was almost like being under siege, we couldn't set foot in the garden without her encouraging her kids to lean out the windows and shout my kids names, it really limited our enjoyment of our home.

I think what I'm saying is that some people you just have to hold at arms length for your own sanity.

Like a previous poster said possibly pop a card through and make your excuses. You sound like a really nice person but ultimately its not your responsibility to make their lives better.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

So I read all your lovely comments and it was so nice to see all your support and suggestions. I thought I would give a quick update as to what’s happened since.

My dad went and spoke my neighbours relative again and she offered to speak to him about his behaviour which i accepted. She updated me today and basically it was very weird, she told him that his behaviour was inappropriate and was making me feel very uncomfortable around him and he told her that I was unhappy with my partner and wanted to leave him and he was waiting to make his move?! Apparently the comments that made him think that was one time when he barged in my house he commented on a bunch of flowers and asked if my partner bought them for me and I said as a throwaway comment that he doesn’t buy me flowers, the other time was when I barely knew him he asked how long me and my partner had been together and I said “7 years and still no ring” as a jokey comment. He told her that he would propose to me and buy me flowers all the time, she reiterated to him that that is completely inappropriate and that if he didn’t stop harassing me my dad would come and “knock his block off”. Apparently he’s looking to move away now and he hasn’t been back to our house since.

I have a ring doorbell and cameras set up now and haven’t seen anything of note either, he’s not been onto our property at all and seems to be actively avoiding us which is great.

I also went and spoke informally to a PSCO - I actually share an office with our local police (I don’t work for the police) so I just popped over to their area while I was working and asked what they thought I should do. They advised that it would definitely be classed as harassment and that I should keep a diary of incidents and make sure I save any ring footage as evidence. They offered to go and speak to him but as the situation seems to have calmed down a bit now I don’t think it’s necessary at the moment.

I did consider some of the other suggestions such as getting a door chain but I haven’t, we have just had a new front door installed and I’m reluctant to drill into the new PVC. I absolutely will though if his behaviour starts up again.

Someone also asked what my partner thinks of the whole thing, he is supportive but he has not experienced any of the behaviour firsthand and I don’t think as an over 6 foot man he really gets the genuine feeling of fear that you feel when someone is harassing you or making you feel threatened in a sexual way. He has offered multiple times to go and speak to the neighbour but I felt that as the neighbour thinks he is controlling/abusive towards me that it might feed into his delusion more that my partner is jealous of us speaking and this could further inflame the situation. I also felt a little crazy about the whole thing and like maybe I was making a big deal out of nothing so it wasn’t until his family member confirmed what a creep he is that I felt justified in my feelings about him.

So overall positive I think? I’m praying that he is serious about moving away so then I won’t have to worry about him anymore, thankfully it definitely seems to have calmed down in the past few weeks which is great and I’m starting to feel a bit more relaxed and comfortable.

Yeah there is some positive stuff in there. Your neighbour does sound slightly mentally unwell though (and a bit fixated and mildly delusional) which could be problematic.

I think I'd avoid any contact now where possible, including your partner speaking to him about the situation.

I hope he moves and you can relax. It's awful to not feel comfortable in what is meant to be your safe space.

 

[omgucnt]

Oh man I could write a whole book about the issues I’ve had with my neighbours!

I bought my first property over 2 years ago, a 2 bed first floor flat. I was so excited to finally have my own space as this was the first time I’d moved out but that excitement was very short lived. I quickly found out that the estate agent had lied about who lived below me. The garden was completely overgrown and the agent said it was a young, professional guy in a council owned flat and the garden would be maintained by the council once the better weather came in. Turns out it’s a private rent flat and it’s a cunt of a woman that lives there that has no consideration for others.

She constantly plays music at extremely loud volumes. Doesn’t matter if it’s 7am, 2pm or 4am. The same music at the same volume. She has an on/off boyfriend that she has constant fights with that turn pretty violent. I can hear them throw each other against walls, cupboards, doors etc and smash glasses and plates. Their fights have even escalated out onto the main road where they’ve had each other in headlocks, punching, biting and scratching each other. They scream and shout all sorts of names at each other and she’s even accused him of sleeping with underage girls. I don’t have evidence of them being into drugs but their behaviour certainly makes it look likely. All of this also happens in front of her young daughter (which makes her accusations against him VERY worrying).

She’s filthy. Not once have I ever seen her clean her windows and you can clearly see the thick dirt that has built up. She lets rubbish accumulate in her garden and leaves her black bin bags sitting at her front door which is INSIDE the shared close, causing all sorts of nasty smells. She has cats that she lets piss all over the close (how hard is it to throw a bucket of disinfectant over it?). She has meltdowns over god knows what and can be heard screaming and wailing at the top of her voice, to the point where neighbours have gone to check she isn’t injured. She has constant parties, people coming in and out all the time slamming doors behind them, shouting and singing which echos throughout the whole building. The smells of smoke and weed mixed with her own nasty stench linger and somehow makes its way into my flat.

She doesn’t work, if that wasn’t already obvious, so she’s ALWAYS home. I had a spell of about 6 months where I had to work from home and it was near impossible given all of the above. I eventually had to quit that job.

The Council are aware and are doing nothing. The police are aware and are doing nothing. I’ve thought about finding out who her landlord is and going straight to them but at this point there’s so many other factors that are making me want to sell. I put so much money into this place due to the excitement of it being my first property that I don’t have any savings left and am currently still paying off a big loan I used to help with renovations. I’m hoping I can sell within the next couple of years but we’ll see.

Because they lied to you about who lived there you can sue them.
Ask the police if there had ever been complaints made about your neighbour from the people who lived in your house.
They legally have to tell you if there has been neighbour disputes

 

[CherryAcid]

Ergh so noisy neighbours 4 dogs are keeping me awake a lot. They just bark constantly whether they are in or not, every now and then you will hear them scream at them to shut up. But there is a serious lack of training and it rages me. I love dogs but not constantly barking when I'm trying to sleep off my nightshift. Ive mentioned the banging and slamming of doors every night but they also have a screeching moment each night in the bedroom next to mine with their teenage daughters, it sounds like a mega tickling fight where all the girls are screeching and of course that sets the dogs off and then they scream at the dogs. I wake up at 4:30am when im on earlies and I have often had my alarm go off when their bedroom TV has only been off an hour or so. I'm always tiptoeing around the house and gently closing doors so as not to wake anyone up. It just amazes me how people have no consideration for anyone.

 

[HotMessCentral]

Thank you for your replies and understanding Now I know I wasn’t being irrational or a wingebag! I don’t want to involve the council because my landlady, who is lovely, would have to declare as such to the next tenant or if she sells up. I think I’m more shocked at the lack of courtesy and the fact that I introduced myself to the owners of the new shop, said what a great addition they were to the street etc and they didn’t even pop round with a “sorry for the 4 months of constant noise” jam tart!


Very good to know! I assumed it was the same rules as beeping car horn (7.30am-11.30pm) so that’s why I never complained

Just spoke to the builder next door… they are completely hitting and ripping out the flat located next to my bedroom. He said it’s gonna take months and months… that’s 8-9 months of this year of constant renovations from all of my neighbours when I’m paying £700 a month rent and forking out even more money in order to not be here in the evenings and weekends. Every weekend ruined. Do I have any rights at all?? Feels so unfair, I can’t stop crying

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

heard someone outside my bedroom window early hours of Monday morning. Cut a long story short, my neighbour (the ones I have moaned about on here before who haven’t even been living here a year!) was pissed up. Knocked over all my plants pot and pushed over my chimney pot which has smashed into 4 pieces. This chimney pot has been here for many years (the houses are Georgian) Absolutely livid. Got home from work and was expecting them to come round and apologise, but no, I had to go round and he was in bed so she answered the door and was bloody clueless. She said she’d get me a replacement, but it won’t be the same.
Like, wtaf?! I’m getting annoyed thinking about it again.

I’m still so, so, so pissed off about this! I almost burst into tears when I told my parents what happened. He finally came round and apologised on Wednesday night, but was feeling more sorry for himself than anything because he hurt himself falling over. He showed me some replacements they have found, but I declined them. Mine was an antique that had absolutely no damage to it and a rare shape to come across and I won’t accept what I’m not happy with. I would be mortified I was them, but since moving here, they haven’t shown much respect for the neighbours. It has been brought to my attention that maybe he was looking in my living room window as I’d left the blind open and that’s how everything got knocked over as it was nowhere near his front door.
I know people have much worse neighbours, I just need to vent.

 

[Mollywobbles]

Lavender.
When we moved house the edge of our front lawn was dead, then I realised it was mums with buggies walking home two abreast from collecting their kids from school. Or the kids riding bikes or scooters on the edge of my lawn.
I thought of several ideas but decided on lavender. It attracts bees and other insects and people avoid going near it

 

[Moth]

Well we finally move house tomorrow and leave our weird neighbours behind. They have been pretty quiet lately although a couple of weeks ago the local foxes had a party in their front garden, ripping open the thin bags they use for the copious amount of fast food packaging they throw away and spreading it everywhere including into our front garden. I obviously picked up the stuff in our garden straight away but the rest lay there all day, in the 90+ degree heat, literally covered in flies until it was 'cleared up' after dark. There's still a small pile of ripped plastic and food wrappers there. As a memorial they 'placed' a broken coffee table and some other unidentifiable piece of household equipment in the centre of their front garden and that's still there too. As "a going away present" the elder daughter had a massive row with her father yesterday. I appreciated the gesture.

 

[xbxbx]

Honestly - get out. You’re miserable and this way of living isn’t sustainable. I’ve lived with horrifying neighbours and it’s just hell, I never felt like I could relax because they could start at any moment. Presentations, weddings, big events where I knew I needed to be on form used to take me into a world of anxiety thinking about if the neighbours decided to have one of their parties.

I moved home for a year. Not going to lie it wasn’t easy but it helped hugely. I knew my parents house was quiet, safe and so I could at least rest and be at some kind of mental peace sounds dramatic but you honestly just need quiet sometime. I saved £££, downsized (from a two bed to a one bed) and went for a totally different property (terrace house in a diff location… I also spent £10k to soundproof the bedroom ). My neighbours here have kids who can be a pain from crying but it’s totally manageable. I’ve got no regrets xz

I am sorry. It’s just a shit situation all around. It’s wrong that decent human beings should suffer because of the behaviour of a minority.

Party #2 of the week has just started. Can also hear that her domestic abuser boyfriend is back. That’s sealed the deal for me, I’m outta here.

 

[Princesst]

Ditto people who let their dogs bark for extended periods - surely it's annoying to them too?? Our neighbour's dog is set off by visitors to basically anyone, anyone's doorbells, postmen at any door, anything and nothing, and 90% of the time they do nothing at all and the other 10% they say "shaddaaap" in a soothing voice. The dog, naturally doesn't speak English and only knows that they make that sound once he's made his.

Yes ! We have the whole set of screaming kids and barking dogs near us. One particularly just barks every time anyone does anything or any time a bird moves etc. We live on a footpath to a popular woodland area so he’s constantly barking at everything. Everyone comments on it because he doesn’t shut up. The owner says things like “stop being silllllllayyyyyyy , shhhhh you” he’s not being effing silly though is he, he’s a dog! & he’s losing his freaking mind all day long! And me with it! Can’t bloody wait til winter and rain and everyone can just stop screaming and barking and I can have some peace in my own house.

 

[flutternutter]

Normally drug dealers are more discreet .. But who knows these days when police don't seem to care anymore

Not where I live. Its almost like a competition to see who can be the most blatent. When I drive down the main road you get engulfed with the smell of weed. Its ridiculously strong, clearly a farm or something. The police have been in front of me when I have experienced this. They don't care!
Someone turned a big house about 5 min walk away into a house to help ex druggies. All of a sudden dodgy looking men were depositing dodgy looking bags in hedges in our street, followed by another dodgy looking man fishing the bag out. The police didnt care about that either. I saw 1 of them come out of the big house last week... so thats going well...

 

[Moth]

As I explained when talking about my problems with my neighbours, I largely don't blame the children for the things they get up to ( I have a 6 year old grandson so I know how noisy they can be from the moment they wake until the moment they fall asleep) it's the complete indifference and apparent inconsideration of the parents that annoys me. Every time I have complained they act as if they were unaware of what was happening but that's impossible so I can only assume they don't think about anyone except themselves.

 

[50sGirl]

Hang on while I check my bank account…..nope !
Anyone know a sugar daddy ?

I hear Rupert Murdoch is single…

 

[MycatElvis]

This is the ultimate in passive aggressive behaviour from a couple of old gits that live opposite us... We used to say 'hello' for years but since we didn't partake in ' clap for the NHS ' every Thursday during Covid they now blank us .. This note was so obviously about their next door neighbours, yet they would rather put up this shit instead of addressing the neighbours directly.

 

[ChastityDingle]

As much as annoying noise is so bloody stressful, it's the complete lack of consideration that makes my blood boil. Why do people care so little nowadays?! It's selfish ignorance and I want to give all of the offenders a good head wobble.

I still think all noisy people should only get to live amongst the noisy and all the quiet people can have our peaceful home lives back.

I agree. I read a comment recently on Reddit I think it was, that some people think others just live in THEIR world.
So they go about and do as they please, whether making noise, striding at you on footpaths, expecting you to get out of their way, blocking others in supermarkets, allowing their dogs to run free where leads are required or whatever.

Our estate is generally quiet but a prick with a motorbike moved in recently.
He seems to take pleasure in making as much noise as possible, going in and out, and even when he arrives at his house, has to do some extra revving before finally switching the fucking thing off.

 

[Tootle Pip Wiz]

Cheer when they finish!

I know someone who had a rather ahem, "loud" neighbour many years ago!
Once the neighbours had finished doing their business, this guy and his wife sat in bed cheering and clapping and shouted "yaaaayyyy you've got a top class finish there guys!"
Went on for around 6 months and it was the same performance and crescendo every time. And they gave the same clapping etc response every time too!!!!! How the hell they kept a straight face when they saw the screamers out in the garden I'll never know!
I'd probably go one further and suggest a football rattle as well as cheering hahaha.

 

[Princesst]

Unfortunately they own it, bought it last December, I bought mine 9 years ago and haven’t had any issues until they moved in

In my experience every house is just a ticking time bomb until a new nightmare/weird/annoying/creepy neighbour comes in and messes everything up! It normally only just takes one & given how close they keep building houses to each other & how weird/annoying everyone seems to be our odds of the years with no neighbour problems get less and less!