Oh god she needs to do it for the plot
Niomi Smart #82 If all that manifestation gave you Jamie, no way I'm giving it a go
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Niomiās outfit here is just truly terrible
Haha you are evil and I love it
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The audacity to call that mezzanine situation a second bedroom!! The absolute greed and delusion, there is a reason why they've had to reduce the price. Without location on their side I reckon if they'd have to go down to 450k for someone to maybe entertain it. Nobody is stupid and if people can afford to buy in that area they're not gonna go for her place.
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Search for the Gate House of the Old Printworks in Clapham. You will probably find pictures of the main house it is attached to as well, which I always find interesting.
Itās a nice shed though. I can an absolutely see someone single or a couple thatās into tiny living being interested. Living into a āback houseā on a property isnāt unheard of here and lots of people wouldnāt have a problem with it. The price is hefty though. But I guess thatās London? Not sure if itās that far off. If she was serious about her Yoga/hippie stuff it would have worked fine. You can definitely make it look great 
But I think she actually wants to go back to her old flat. When she was peak influencing, selling her clean (no cock worshipping retreats), vegan, sporty, not a care in the world, dating a handsome guy with good breeding persona, sweet half-sister yada yada yada. As she lost clean, vegan, fiancĆ© checkpoints and as her life looks in shambles ever since the breakup with Joe she clings to Yoga and some spiritual bullshit to fill the gaps. And probably to feel better about herself. Instead of taking a honest and humbling look at herself, go back to what she liked and work on what was unhealthy. I mean, itās ok to be a valid, shallow and lazy person. And if it pays- more power to her.
But I think she actually wants to go back to her old flat. When she was peak influencing, selling her clean (no cock worshipping retreats), vegan, sporty, not a care in the world, dating a handsome guy with good breeding persona, sweet half-sister yada yada yada. As she lost clean, vegan, fiancĆ© checkpoints and as her life looks in shambles ever since the breakup with Joe she clings to Yoga and some spiritual bullshit to fill the gaps. And probably to feel better about herself. Instead of taking a honest and humbling look at herself, go back to what she liked and work on what was unhealthy. I mean, itās ok to be a valid, shallow and lazy person. And if it pays- more power to her.
But that life wasn't real either, that's why she is where she is with a big void between her ears and no direction in life, again.Itās a nice shed though. I can an absolutely see someone single or a couple thatās into tiny living being interested. Living into a āback houseā on a property isnāt unheard of here and lots of people wouldnāt have a problem with it. The price is hefty though. But I guess thatās London? Not sure if itās that far off. If she was serious about her Yoga/hippie stuff it would have worked fine. You can definitely make it look great
But I think she actually wants to go back to her old flat. When she was peak influencing, selling her clean (no cock worshipping retreats), vegan, sporty, not a care in the world, dating a handsome guy with good breeding persona, sweet half-sister yada yada yada. As she lost clean, vegan, fiancĆ© checkpoints and as her life looks in shambles ever since the breakup with Joe she clings to Yoga and some spiritual bullshit to fill the gaps. And probably to feel better about herself. Instead of taking a honest and humbling look at herself, go back to what she liked and work on what was unhealthy. I mean, itās ok to be a valid, shallow and lazy person. And if it pays- more power to her.
Per the "I mean, itās ok to be a valid, shallow and lazy person. And if it pays- more power to her." I mean is it? It's not against the law but I can't imagine telling my kid that.
I just looked up the shed on rightmove and it really reminds me of an Airbnb. Fine for a short holiday but I canāt imagine living there - itās also an absolute stretch to call it a two bed when the second ābedroomā is a mezzanine floor you can barely stand up in with no privacy?
That being said I think it has potential, the kitchen and bathroom arenāt very nice and the whole place just feels quite clinical/unloved? I could imagine somebody with good taste making it really nice and cosy. Not worth anywhere near 750k though, maybe 500k at a pushā¦ thereās just such better places in such better locations for that much!
That being said I think it has potential, the kitchen and bathroom arenāt very nice and the whole place just feels quite clinical/unloved? I could imagine somebody with good taste making it really nice and cosy. Not worth anywhere near 750k though, maybe 500k at a pushā¦ thereās just such better places in such better locations for that much!
She has an exceptional talent to do nothing right.
Ler's hope we don't have to see pathetic Bruce again 
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The most interesting thing about her is her engagement/ breakup...and it's not even interesting lol.
Ā£1000/sqft is pretty standard for clapham, even if its the dodgier and less desirable end. there's no way you'd ever find a 2 bed freehold with garden for 500k or anywhere near that even if it's an embellished granny flat.
Defo think she overpaid though
Oh my god I thought you guys were kind of joking about the bum hole thing but heās literally going in there wtfThanks to a commenter under one of Niomi's IG posts for the thread title suggestion.
Well something strange has just happened. Niomi is not wearing theirstar
since that one brief IG story.
In completely unrelated news Jamie White has been in Texas exploring himself
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I think Lordon was blindsided the first time by nimmers and wanted to get back with her only to then break up with her first get the upper hand to soothe his inflated ego. Then a bum hole retreat to celebrate
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I'm screaminggggThen a bum hole retreat to celebrate
I don't think I'll see this sentence anywhere else
I forgot about the garden - thatās definitely a big bonus!! I wonder if sheāll buy somewhere else after selling it or just keep drifting
I looked at other properties under offer in that area, asking price all cheaper than hers, several nice flats with good floorplans, 2 double bedrooms and garden. I think her place is a rip off in comparison, and tbh is it a house or is it just a high ceiling flat with a mezzanine where only a mattress can be accommodated
Ok so, I know a lot about real estate.
The mezzane can't be a bedroom, that is why the bed is in the weird storage area, you need walls for a room.
She bought in 2021 for 779k.
Problem is she got scammed by the agents in 2021, she has paid a 2 bed price, for a 1 bed property. Also, she has done no improvements. No kitchen or bathroom renovations etc. No reason the price should of gone up.
She should be ok to find a buyer, because a lot of people just want a second bedroom as an office, which her place ticks to that box. But the price will have to come down.
Now the boring numbers bit. She bought at a high in 2021, the interest rates blew out late 2022 and 2023. I suspect she did a 2/3 year fixed rate at 1-2% that has just come off. So she would be looking at a 7% variable or a 5% 5 year fixed. I suspect she can't afford these numbers, at least not having her care free life. That is a hefty mortgage.
I predict she could sell it for 720k, in today's market, which would have her lose, 58k value plus the 26k stamp duty. 84K in 2/3 years.
Worth noting it says it is chain free.
It is generally a terrible decision to sell now, unless you are also upsizing because, although the initial property is down in value, so would be the next one in the chain. So, it call equals out in the end generally. But not if you sell at a loss but don't buy anything else while the prices are cheap....
Point is, I suspect money issues for her. She is selling because she can't afford it/needs cash.
Hope this wasn't too numbers and boring
The mezzane can't be a bedroom, that is why the bed is in the weird storage area, you need walls for a room.
She bought in 2021 for 779k.
Problem is she got scammed by the agents in 2021, she has paid a 2 bed price, for a 1 bed property. Also, she has done no improvements. No kitchen or bathroom renovations etc. No reason the price should of gone up.
She should be ok to find a buyer, because a lot of people just want a second bedroom as an office, which her place ticks to that box. But the price will have to come down.
Now the boring numbers bit. She bought at a high in 2021, the interest rates blew out late 2022 and 2023. I suspect she did a 2/3 year fixed rate at 1-2% that has just come off. So she would be looking at a 7% variable or a 5% 5 year fixed. I suspect she can't afford these numbers, at least not having her care free life. That is a hefty mortgage.
I predict she could sell it for 720k, in today's market, which would have her lose, 58k value plus the 26k stamp duty. 84K in 2/3 years.
Worth noting it says it is chain free.
It is generally a terrible decision to sell now, unless you are also upsizing because, although the initial property is down in value, so would be the next one in the chain. So, it call equals out in the end generally. But not if you sell at a loss but don't buy anything else while the prices are cheap....
Point is, I suspect money issues for her. She is selling because she can't afford it/needs cash.
Hope this wasn't too numbers and boring
A loss of 84K on the house price, plus an early repayment fee on her mortgage if she's not buying somewhere else.
Yes, much nicer looking flats! Even Joe's place (though pretty dark inside) was a better living layout plus it had a decent decking balcony area.I looked at other properties under offer in that area, asking price all cheaper than hers, several nice flats with good floorplans, 2 double bedrooms and garden. I think her place is a rip off in comparison, and tbh is it a house or is it just a high ceiling flat with a mezzanine where only a mattress can be accommodated
Probably the selling point for the shed was that it is detached, therefore quieter? It has also been featured in a magazine, sold as aesthetically pleasing, a desirable light and airy house. The Gatehouse even sounds romantic. She believed an extension could be built onto it, which she has since found out she can't... then the boiler packed up, to her horror she discovered she firstly has to pay to have it fixed (no kindly gifted) and secondly there is no landlord or boyfriend to organise it for her. The horror! People taking advantage of her etc
Anyone else think she is pulling a Tanya Burr by keeping their star ring and lordon off her socials now? They could still be together with her planning the wedding behind the scenes and she'll suddenly just show up married and with a child when she's showing us her next beach waves tutorial?