It's going to be such a fuckin jump scare when she posts him on insta .We let our fertile imaginations run away with us again.
Niomi Smart #74 Thank you for your beautiful message and your support
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I was browsing the previous threads for title inspo, and I realised it was pretty silent from 2018 to 2020, and all exploded because of her breakup with Joe. Wow would her life (and this thread 
) be different if they were still together
) be different if they were still togetherNow that I come to think of it, I think she 100% lied in her Vlog when she says she was contemplating staying in London for a little while and then the next day, surprise surprise her friend texted her asking if she was looking to rent a place from January.
If the apartment she’s renting is Caggie’s (which definitely seems to be the case), there’s no way Caggie didn’t know about her intentions to return to London.
She made it sound like it was divinely guided when in actuality she probably spoke to Caggie beforehand as her Bali visa was up and she didn’t want to come back to Dublin. She essentially had nowhere else to go
Nothing divinely guided about the obvious fact she had to be back in London by default.
If the apartment she’s renting is Caggie’s (which definitely seems to be the case), there’s no way Caggie didn’t know about her intentions to return to London.
She made it sound like it was divinely guided when in actuality she probably spoke to Caggie beforehand as her Bali visa was up and she didn’t want to come back to Dublin. She essentially had nowhere else to go
Nothing divinely guided about the obvious fact she had to be back in London by default.One of her ‘enlightened’ friends in London. She was in Made in Chelsea and dated Spencer Matthews.
If all was good, she would've gone to stay at her mom's house for a few weeks and tell the world how she's generously spending her time with family and her little sister. Obviously that's not an option. She used to mention her mother a lot before.Now that I come to think of it, I think she 100% lied in her Vlog when she says she was contemplating staying in London for a little while and then the next day, surprise surprise her friend texted her asking if she was looking to rent a place from January.
If the apartment she’s renting is Caggie’s (which definitely seems to be the case), there’s no way Caggie didn’t know about her intentions to return to London.
She made it sound like it was divinely guided when in actuality she probably spoke to Caggie beforehand as her Bali visa was up and she didn’t want to come back to Dublin. She essentially had nowhere else to go
Her and dorkward were basically the Human Centipede the past few months and now it's weird silence, something for sure is up.
Anytime someone says something is up, me:
(The woman in the photo is a french minister, a stupid one)
(Don't know how the clown thing train started but I'm on it)
(I shall thank myself for this message)
(The woman in the photo is a french minister, a stupid one)
(Don't know how the clown thing train started but I'm on it)
(I shall thank myself for this message)
Welcome to the circus
Still believing until she posts about Jamie in a medium other than an outdated vlog
They're all stupid
(I'm French, sadly)
SameStill believing until she posts about Jamie in a medium other than an outdated vlog
Why rent an apartment by herself, in a different country to her fiancé? It’s not like they’re having to do long distance because of job commitments… They’ve been inseparable since the day they met. It’s too suspicious.
She's probably strolling the streets of NH, lounging in Caggie's house and gagging she doesn't have a London pad of her own and instead she's this nomad living in airbnbs carrying her feathers and stones everywhere she goes making shrines and wishing for a different existence.
London Nims is a completely different person than Bali Nims. I wonder if she actually has a few different personalities.
I am actually shook that she's not spending time with her little sister & Mum, to me, that seems like something is up!
I watched Niomi's London vlog. Skipped over most of it and especially the Lordon parts.
She said being back in Notting Hill makes her feel like the last year and a half never happened. And now their star has gone missing. Uh huh.
For those who follow Caggie: Is her flat for sale? I wonder if Nims could buy it. This is obviously the life she wants. I think she must have sold the shed. That or she is determined not to stay there ever again.
I only watched 4-5 minutes of the vlog but it is obvious that she loves being back in London - such a contrast to when she was in Dublin last year and miserable 24/7. I am surprised he's left her there on her own for a few weeks. Things could get interesting if she decides she wants to stay on a more permanent basis.
Oh, and when she spoke about wanting to split her time between a Notting Hill apartment and Bali, she used 'I' not 'we'. At least I'm pretty sure she did. Not watching again to check!
She said being back in Notting Hill makes her feel like the last year and a half never happened. And now their star has gone missing. Uh huh.
For those who follow Caggie: Is her flat for sale? I wonder if Nims could buy it. This is obviously the life she wants. I think she must have sold the shed. That or she is determined not to stay there ever again.
I only watched 4-5 minutes of the vlog but it is obvious that she loves being back in London - such a contrast to when she was in Dublin last year and miserable 24/7. I am surprised he's left her there on her own for a few weeks. Things could get interesting if she decides she wants to stay on a more permanent basis.
Oh, and when she spoke about wanting to split her time between a Notting Hill apartment and Bali, she used 'I' not 'we'. At least I'm pretty sure she did. Not watching again to check!
I think she has the apartment for free (that's the impression I got, but who knows really) and I think it's unusual that he would pass up the chance of a free place to stay. I think someone mentioned a few pages back that he's probably gone back to Dublin to beg his dad for money for more Barley travels - and I think that probably is the case.Same
Why rent an apartment by herself, in a different country to her fiancé? It’s not like they’re having to do long distance because of job commitments… They’ve been inseparable since the day they met. It’s too suspicious.
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if she does, don’t ever ask about how it ends - she doesn’t know!Did she recommend any books to you?
Imagining how confused a newcomer to these threads might be at 'Lordon' and 'Barley' 
Actually that sounds like a posh product name, 'Lordon and Barley'
Actually that sounds like a posh product name, 'Lordon and Barley' 
When he posted this, did anyone else think that it looks a bit like the cliffs near the commune in Ibiza, where they stayed last year? Where they'd frequently go to get away from the rest of the commune sunbathe. It would be so interesting if instead of spending the time in Ireland he would be staying at that farm again, as it was free. I wouldn't be surprise if Niomi put her foot down and stayed in London, because let's face it, she's never ever visiting that hippie farm commune again.
Re: the email he sent to one of us here - he just writes like he speaks, doesn't he?
It makes no sense. I think what he wants to say is, "If we haven't worked together yet, can I ask what is holding you back?"
Also, @Callan, "dark lord" gave me a giggle for some reason.
Re: the email he sent to one of us here - he just writes like he speaks, doesn't he?
It makes no sense. I think what he wants to say is, "If we haven't worked together yet, can I ask what is holding you back?"
Also, @Callan, "dark lord" gave me a giggle for some reason.
Oh to have rich friends with spare apartments to just move into. First Kelly thelondonchatter (iirc!) and now Caggie. Privilege makes the stars align huh
Or a group of fun lawyers, Lordon, Barley & ForkyImagining how confused a newcomer to these threads might be at 'Lordon' and 'Barley'
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