Niomi Smart #73 Life with Joey was a dream, now she’s bowing to a pointy peen

[LolitaBlah]

Dear shadows of the dark,

so.. last thread was.. interesting/vomit inducing/educational/the worst nightmare ever/WTF.....

The love birds went to a sex retreat, Niomi learned how to worship a cock by bowing to it, Lordon apparently learned how to give a woman oral sex for exactly 15 minutes, he also has to say and announce "i'm going to touch your pussy" before, they payed she paid 4k for the retreat, Niomi was so playful and unbelievable spontaneous and she changed the song that Lordon was working out to in purpose (wow!), Niomi accidentally erased all her photos from the last 18 months, we had some hope that they broke up, they did NOT break up, NiomiSmartSkin is closing, big amazing projects are coming (as usual) in the next few months....


@friedeggontoast We bow to you for the thread title with 92 votes!

May the moon be with us for this new thread!

 

[julixx]

I wouldn't be surprised if she was crying over the end of Smart Skin. Didn't she launch it just as the breakup was happening? Definitely feels like one of the last ties to Joe. At least that would make more sense than the maniacal story she told about the flower.

The photo.

How is giving away some products to one person a "HUGE competition"

 

[ElenaK]

Plop! in the new Magical Moon Kundalini thread! Thank you, @LolitaBlah! Hilarious recap as always! I vote for the last option this time. I don't care where they go, it's going to be stupid anyway! I do hope she sees her family, but only if Lordon's not there. They've been through so much already, they don't need his foul presence at Christmas time!

 

[Imdiaz3]

Closing up Smart Skin and getting a flower from Lordon (which she manifested) makes her more emotional than her grandfather passing away. Bet the pictures in dirt were another Pinterest inspiration. Also confused by this timeline, I thought they were headed to the UK right now.

 

[phutton44]

Dear shadows of the dark,

so.. last thread was.. interesting/vomit inducing/educational/the worst nightmare ever/WTF.....

The love birds went to a sex retreat, Niomi learned how to worship a cock by bowing to it, Lordon apparently learned how to give a woman oral sex for exactly 15 minutes, he also has to say and announce "i'm going to touch your pussy" before, they payed she paid 4k for the retreat, Niomi was so playful and unbelievable spontaneous and she changed the song that Lordon was working out to in purpose (wow!), Niomi accidentally erased all her photos from the last 18 months, we had some hope that they broke up, they did NOT break up, NiomiSmartSkin is closing, big amazing projects are coming (as usual) in the next few months....

WTF is even happening as I got fedup with Niomi and her crap and ignored the forums for a bit, this is insane? we kinda guessed it was moving in the direction, but to read this, bloody hell!!!! hahaha great summary.

 

[ElenaK]

Mission accomplished! It's so sweet of her to take the time to answer these messages from Holly and Lordon! Stay tuned for the next chapter that will end before it's started!

 

[mg95]

Closing Smart Skin at the same time that she's deleting old Joe videos (esp the engagement one) from her channel doesn't feel coincidental. She's tying up any loose ends before she submits to becoming Mrs. Lordon next year. Smart Skin was conceived during the DJ era but he left her right before the launch. It's obviously a trigger to her and while it had potential she totally dropped the ball on it. The failure of her mid/late 20s is still haunting her and she has refused to do any actual work to heal from it.

 

[Jackie Daytona]

She put more thought into the photos she would post to announce the closure than she put into the entire business. This is her third failed business venture, after sourcedbox and the bath product range at boots.

Business closures are normal, but for someone who was so smug about how she’s afforded her lifestyle of leisure through her own hard work, she should feel like a failure. There’s more to business meetings than sitting there nodding while someone slaps your name on something, which is what she’s used to.

 

[julixx]

PS yes thanks to @LolitaBlah for the new thread! You deserve a medal of bravery for having to sift through the ... retreat... photos. Oh moon.

 

[Rapsodiaaa]

I think she's so confident because she thinks that donkey will bring his business acumen onboard... He's probably conning her into the idea that they're self-sufficient and don't need external advisors. She's the soul, he's the brain. She's the face and the gut, he's the muscle and brute perseverance. Perfect pair! On paper...
---
Added:
Next marketing idea of the SoulSomething project: Knickers for Knickers! Yes, I mean the knickers exchange. Sorry for a trigger. I'll see myself out.

 

[secretyoutubelover]

I haven’t been on this thread in awhile - unfollowed Niomi awhile ago for my sanity - but just seen her latest stories. Sorry if this has been discussed at length but… she’s in a cult, right? Like would anybody here be suprised if she was featured in a Netflix doc in five years time!? Genuinely interested to know people’s view here on what is going on behind the scenes . It’s all giving Twin Flames…

 

[Rapsodiaaa]

I haven’t been on this thread in awhile - unfollowed Niomi awhile ago for my sanity - but just seen her latest stories. Sorry if this has been discussed at length but… she’s in a cult, right? Like would anybody here be suprised if she was featured in a Netflix doc in five years time!? Genuinely interested to know people’s view here on what is going on behind the scenes . It’s all giving Twin Flames…

It seems like she's bootstrapping one with her fiance as we speak. One newsletter at a time.

 

[Elyezabeth]

Re: the thread poll, I don't have a strong feeling on whether they'll be near her family or his, but I'm quite sure he won't let her out of his grasp for the holidays. I could see it going either way, he graciously spends the holidays with her family to prove his goodwill towards them, while actually just making sure to keep her under his control, OR he's already isolated her so much from her family that she goes to spend the holidays with his, believing that even her own family are "Shadows."

 

[Jelly Bean]

Re: the thread poll, I don't have a strong feeling on whether they'll be near her family or his, but I'm quite sure he won't let her out of his grasp for the holidays. I could see it going either way, he graciously spends the holidays with her family to prove his goodwill towards them, while actually just making sure to keep her under his control, OR he's already isolated her so much from her family that she goes to spend the holidays with his, believing that even her own family are "Shadows."

He'll need to keep peeking in her journal to try to appear so intuitive and magical so he won't let her out of his sight or teeth for long.

 

[Callan]

I don't think it's a wise move for Niomi to write a newsletter where she lists all her licherally gorgeous andh exhciting plans and projects for 2024. It will end up with the usual "watch this space" or "I will speak about this soon" and she will not accomplish anything. Unless they are opening a culty coaching retreat that will take a while to totally crash and burn.

She said 2 years ago that "this" will be her crazy busy year, all she managed to do was lose her luggage a few times, delete her photos and close Smart Skin, she actualyl said in that clip that she was great with creating formulas, as if she's a fking chemist, pleaseeeeee.... she just had some Pinterest pins she probably showed them.. but that the business side of it was not her thing. Shocking...

 

[TheGlossy]

I’d say she’s no longer connecting with her brand because customers aren’t connecting with it either. She’s trying to conceal the fact the business was probably failing and turned into a liability.

No one in their right mind closes a business that is generating good revenue on the basis of whether they connect with it or not. She could have just sold it if she wanted.

Good luck to the winner of her bundle. The whole thing is probably full of soon to expire products.

 

[Callan]

I’d say she’s no longer connecting with her brand because customers aren’t connecting with it either. She’s trying to conceal the fact the business was probably failing and turned into a liability.

No one in their right mind closes a business that is generating good revenue on the basis of whether they connect with it or not. She could have just sold it if she wanted.

Good luck to the winner of her bundle. The whole thing is probably full of soon to expire products.

Exactly, that's so astute. If she was generating good profits she'd even show up to those work meetings to make it work. She's greedy for sure.

It's like not every business you start and run has to drive you mad with joy, sometimes you just sell or invent something that people need, whether it's paperclips or skincare or whatever.

 

[ElenaK]

I haven’t been on this thread in awhile - unfollowed Niomi awhile ago for my sanity - but just seen her latest stories. Sorry if this has been discussed at length but… she’s in a cult, right? Like would anybody here be suprised if she was featured in a Netflix doc in five years time!? Genuinely interested to know people’s view here on what is going on behind the scenes . It’s all giving Twin Flames…

Check out the previous thread. There's a lot of discussions on what they might be involved in and even the Twin Flames documentary. Fair warning, though, it's mental, disturbing and super gross! Well, there's funny bits, too! Mostly from the Shadows.

 

[Callan]

Check out the previous thread. There's a lot of discussions on what they might be involved in and even the Twin Flames documentary. Fair warning, though, it's mental, disturbing and super gross! Well, there's funny bits, too! Mostly from the Shadows.

Yes at your own risk, and please don't eat anything especially hot foods that can burn your face or consume drinks while reading.

Niomi Smart #72 Searching for crystal EMF protection, while posting on Instagram with no life direction

My dear shadows of the dark, our beloved Nimbobs is suddenly back to being a youtuber.. and telling us all about her pahhhhfect life with Lordon in Bahhhli, still searching for the meaning of life while being perfectly miserable happy. I personnally didn't watch any of it because I have a...

tattle.life

 

[Lionsden]

I don't think it's a wise move for Niomi to write a newsletter where she lists all her licherally gorgeous andh exhciting plans and projects for 2024. It will end up with the usual "watch this space" or "I will speak about this soon" and she will not accomplish anything. Unless they are opening a culty coaching retreat that will take a while to totally crash and burn.

She said 2 years ago that "this" will be her crazy busy year, all she managed to do was lose her luggage a few times, delete her photos and close Smart Skin, she actualyl said in that clip that she was great with creating formulas, as if she's a fking chemist, pleaseeeeee.... she just had some Pinterest pins she probably showed them.. but that the business side of it was not her thing. Shocking...

She probably meant copying trends, like vegan recipes (the recipes in her cookbook were not her own, right?), vegan snack box, cruelty free skincare. It's just that she was late with all of these and none of her projects really got off the ground. She thinks her followers are just as shallow and gullible as she is, and will fall for any old marketing ploy. The product line she made with Boots was the most horrendous.