Niomi Smart #73 Life with Joey was a dream, now she’s bowing to a pointy peen

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I can't even get through her insta captions let alone a whole newsletter 💀
 
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Does she really think she can fool her followers into believing that closing smartskin was totally her choice in order to “move forward, grow and evolve”? This announcement is really reminiscent of her announcement of the DJ break up - effectively saying that a beautiful chapter has come to an end, that it felt right at the time but she wasn’t on the right path, etc.
 
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Does she really think she can fool her followers into believing that closing smartskin was totally her choice in order to “move forward, grow and evolve”? This announcement is really reminiscent of her announcement of the DJ break up - effectively saying that a beautiful chapter has come to an end, that it felt right at the time but she wasn’t on the right path, etc.
Especially right after that 50% off sale that she extended. She's not fooling anyone, she's not a small business owner gratefully giving a "treat" of a discount to her loyal followers. That's obviously a business move when stock isn't moving well enough and they're desperate to clear it out and take the least loss possible. She should just admit the market has shifted and it's not profitable anymore and so they're closing down, and she's excited about new projects.
 
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I checked Companies House earlier and for 2022 smart skin was 160k in the red if I remember correctly (and can read the accounts properly 😂)
Wow, you’re right. I just checked. To be fair, the bulk of the debt is a loan from another one of her companies. So it’s all a bit fictional. She has used Fiona Brooke Limited to lend £160k to start the skin care business. What I’m wondering is if she’s closing down Dumb Skin Limited to offset a tax liability (which she can then potentially carry forward) in Fiona Brooke Limited. Fiona Brooke Limited actually has a decent amount of assets (surprisingly — anyone know what she’s loaded this business with?).

I am very confident that she’s closing the skincare line to offset Fiona Brooke Limited. We’ll know for sure at the next set (ish) of reporting dates at Companies House. But there will definitely be some creative accounting. If she isn’t offsetting the tax liability then she’ll be finding a way to dividend out the equivalent loan amount tax free.

I think there’s more to this than just going on ‘feels’ and ‘closing a chapter’. The business has obviously failed (bc it’s bloody stupid). Tax year is looming, bills need to be paid and accounting advice has aligned with the stars.
 
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It was clear to us all that Shartskin has been a failure since the get-go, can't believe she even let it drag on for 3 whole years. In fact, all the crap that she did after being dumped have spectacularly failed (because it's all for show) - Clapham shed, Shartskin, yoga teaching. No wonder she's depressed, she's incapable of achieving anything based on personal merit and hard work. To me she brings nothing of substance to the table so she's well suited to someone who is equally useless.
 
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Wow, you’re right. I just checked. To be fair, the bulk of the debt is a loan from another one of her companies. So it’s all a bit fictional. She has used Fiona Brooke Limited to lend £160k to start the skin care business. What I’m wondering is if she’s closing down Dumb Skin Limited to offset a tax liability (which she can then potentially carry forward) in Fiona Brooke Limited. Fiona Brooke Limited actually has a decent amount of assets (surprisingly — anyone know what she’s loaded this business with?).

I am very confident that she’s closing the skincare line to offset Fiona Brooke Limited. We’ll know for sure at the next set (ish) of reporting dates at Companies House. But there will definitely be some creative accounting. If she isn’t offsetting the tax liability then she’ll be finding a way to dividend out the equivalent loan amount tax free.

I think there’s more to this than just going on ‘feels’ and ‘closing a chapter’. The business has obviously failed (bc it’s bloody stupid). Tax year is looming, bills need to be paid and accounting advice has aligned with the stars.
I'm not good at reading balance sheets, but am I right in thinking that she is still involved in two companies, Fiona Brooke Limited and Smart Skincare Limited? Smart Skincare's 2023 balance sheet should be published soon and Fiona Brooke's balance sheet says she lost assets of 117k dollars this year? That's even better than seeing her follower numbers shrink :D
 
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Does she really think she can fool her followers into believing that closing smartskin was totally her choice in order to “move forward, grow and evolve”? This announcement is really reminiscent of her announcement of the DJ break up - effectively saying that a beautiful chapter has come to an end, that it felt right at the time but she wasn’t on the right path, etc.
She's trying to control the narrative, she failed at it and failed her team but made it look like some beachifuul enlightened decision that she made to better herself. And it worked on a lot of her viewers, now they are messaging her with congratulations.

Everyone fails but she will just do the same bad decisions or will stop showing up. When Smart Skin wasn't shipping their orders a few months ago and people were leaving her constant messages kindly asking here what's up (Id be pissed off if I were them) it was crickets. She already folded by then and ignored paying customers. I think the only job she can do now is run a Culty retreat with Lordon and scam people with overblown word salads.
 
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I can't even get through her insta captions let alone a whole newsletter 💀
I signed up, so we’ll see what nuggets of ✨eNliGhTeNeD DiviNe iNsPiraTioN ✨ she might have to offer. So it’ll probably be short. With more photos of her prayer hands, or her bikinis.
IMG_5773.jpeg
 
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I signed up, so we’ll see what nuggets of ✨eNliGhTeNeD DiviNe iNsPiraTioN ✨ she might have to offer. So it’ll probably be short. With more photos of her prayer hands, or her bikinis.
View attachment 2629725
A stunning selection 🤣🤣🤣 right stunningly boring.

Has anyone watched The Buccaneers on Apple TV? One of the characters is desperate to get married (it's set in the late 1800s I think) and basically ends up marrying a coercive, abusive asshole of a man because he asked and she was desperate and he could read her desperation and knew how easy it'd be to isolate her and manipulate her. It gives Niomi and Lordon.

Of course the character is way more likable but the parallels are there He also forces her to distance himself from her friends, even drives a wedge between her and her family, won't let her go anywhere without him, not even places where one would expect him to go with the men and she with the women.
 
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Sucks it's only for UK residents. She's giving stuff away but won't ship internationally? It's not like she has to fly the package over herself.
 
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I also don’t understand why it’s only one winner. She’d rather have the products destroyed and thrown away than gift it to 10-15 people?
 
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It's still your period and not your "moon" when you're shilling stuff 🤑 Snuggs was having none of her nonsense.
These undies must be so practical under thongs and body-con dresses, ie her entire wardrobe
:rolleyes:😆
 
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I'm not good at reading balance sheets, but am I right in thinking that she is still involved in two companies, Fiona Brooke Limited and Smart Skincare Limited? Smart Skincare's 2023 balance sheet should be published soon and Fiona Brooke's balance sheet says she lost assets of 117k dollars this year? That's even better than seeing her follower numbers shrink :D
Yes, that's right -- she runs both companies. To be fair to her, this company (Fiona) is actually in decent shape. There's £655k of net assets (don't ask me how -- makes me wonder whether she holds property via this company). She captures two loans within this entity. One loan to Dumb Skin Limited and the other to a different entity she controls (I haven't figured out which yet but I will do some investigation to figure this out).
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I also don’t understand why it’s only one winner. She’d rather have the products destroyed and thrown away than gift it to 10-15 people?
If she manifests hard enough she might be able to turn the unsold stock into hair flowers!
 
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Maybe Lordon's family will throw in some seed money for a Dublin startup, as an early wedding present. Then they can sit back and watch this pair of clowns squander it
 
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How will she write a whole ass newsletter when she doesn't know the difference between "breathe" and "breath"????? ? ?
 
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