Niomi Smart #60 Eat not, prey, love bomb

[TheGlossy]

She doesn’t have a say or choice in these matters, I think. She follows Lordon‘s plans and wishes. The fact that she saw her sister is a positive one, since that child is not at fault for whatever’s going on between Niomi and her mother. But other than that, he won’t allow her to go too far away.

We always have a choice.

 

[irvinelane]

Let’s see if she’s gonna spend Easter with J *hint hint*

 

[dodo789]

Let’s see if she’s gonna spend Easter with J *hint hint*

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Hint hint…I’m gonna throw up …I hope she knows, Lordon will not lift a little finger to plan dates for them, buy or make thoughtful gifts, help her in anyway etc…

Nimbob can say goodbye to personalised romantic advent calendars with all her favourite things in it or to romantic getaways. She can leave as many hints as she wants to Lordon, he will still not do anything and then she can make a long post about how Valentine’s Day is just a commercialised holiday and “she didn’t even want anything for her birthday or anniversary because being with J is a blessing on its own“ or something unhinged like that…If she wants a thoughtful man who actually gives a damn, she has to dump Toothy, otherwise it’s time to get used to being disappointed and being belittled all the time for the things she wants form her supposed soulmate

 

[Lionsden]

She doesn’t have a say or choice in these matters, I think. She follows Lordon‘s plans and wishes. The fact that she saw her sister is a positive one, since that child is not at fault for whatever’s going on between Niomi and her mother. But other than that, he won’t allow her to go too far away.

Maybe that was paid work? Niomi did feature the gifted event they went to.

 

[missmina]

I've gone down the rabbit hole of watching her what I eat in a day videos and I actually really feel for her now. She was so innocent and completely herself. I can imagine she's trying to regain that and probably blames Joe for losing something so precious. Hence the fixation on him. Lockdown probably wasn't easy on her either. Her daily occupation basically since her undergrad was a reality show in which she was the star. She took the leap, went to India, and did her best with that experience. It seemed like trying something so far from her norm was pushing her to grow. And then she snapped back to a world in lockdown with someone who she deeply loved who was suddenly maybe a bit bitter and resentful but also increasingly judgemental. It's no wonder she pushed back with the I'm not an influencer stance. And then there was nothing to push back against with Joe gone, so all of this unchecked indignation and lashing out came forth.

She used to take a lot of pride in her lifestyle and habits. It's not easy to go from being so controlled, practically ascetic, to unsettled and untethered: homeless, scorned, humiliated, rejected. Her family had probably gone to incredible lengths up until that point so she would not feel the absence of a father figure. Marcus came and went; she held the high ground in that breakup and was unaffected. The continuity of Source box is a good indicator of how that panned out.

Paradise lost and despondency on one hand. On the other, re-coding suppressed emotions as trying to be authentic or real. Her mind must be a battleground every day.

I don't know where I'm going with this and obviously I know nothing but I hadn't really thought about her state of mind based on where she was coming from. She must be in a very dark place. Given her naturally happy disposition and how little challenge or negativity she had faced in her life before her breakup with Joe, it's no wonder that she has no coping tools and is still free-falling. She barely has any self-awareness because she's afraid to commit to anything real again, so will accept anyone mirroring anything back to her as useful and helpful guidance. Hence the lurking scammer.

What do they say... trigger warning? I'm not making a comparison, just a point on mental health and how important it is to be vigilant of/for ourselves and others.

I knew a girl in high school who was also picture-perfect. Her life panned out pretty great on paper. But there was always a deep unhappiness about her. I can't be the only one but I always thought, this girl's mind takes her to very dark places. She would talk about it honestly sometimes too and you could tell she was mentally quite tough. But I think she was so far gone it didn't even scare her anymore. She had the best tools - I truly believe that she would have had access to the best that mental health care can offer. I don't know what to say anymore. I hadn't seen her in years when I looked her up a little while ago.

I think you’re giving her too much slack to be honest. She always presented herself as this delicate girly but she was always scammy - remember her whole eating smart brand was rip off pinterest recipes. She never had anything original or creative to offer, if it wasn’t for Marcus (whom she dumped eventually) she wouldn’t have all that social media following let’s be honest.

Besides I really don’t agree with labeling Joe as judgemental towards her, if anything we can see from her videos it was the other way round. Judging his food habits, judging him for wanting to sleep in on the weekend after a whole week of work instead of going for a run with her, throwing a fit he had to work late etc. I think she subconsciously started judging herself because for the first time she was dating someone with an actual job and career goals (contrary to her, Marcus and their social circle) that she started feeling insecure. But it was the truth, she had a bullshit job and was doing nothing most days because she was always extremely lazy - though her level of laziness now has truly peaked.

Then when stuff didn’t go her way of course she didn’t take any responsibility and just blamed it on others and „toxic love”. I really think she’s a disgusting person - especially with how easily she ditched her own family (and it was before Lordon even, when she preferred to continue her bali vacation instead of going back to the uk to support her mom when she lost her dad. Then she ditched her family and friends again just because they didn’t accept her new guy. She’s extremely opportunistic and thinks only about herself.

 

[Bonjour92]

OT here to make you feel better about your own lives
Guys im going through the worst break up of my life. I feel like I just lost my own Dreamy Joe. I'm almost 30 but I don't have money to burn like Niomi so I can't even do what I want with my life and start over. My heart feels like it was ripped out of my chest yesterday morning when it happened. It's so raw right now. I haven't stopped crying for the last 24 hours.
I'm also about to be fired because my boss thinks I'm underperforming. I have no savings because I burned through them all in the last year living in London since I was working underpaid jobs, I'm still underpaid at the moment (30k) it's barely enough to get by when my rent is 900 a month- in a house share...
I've left London for Easter and come back to my family up north- we're not made of money but my mum has been so supportive, I was really scared to tell her all of this because I've always been the child they don't have to worry about, but she was just happy to see me and that I opened up to her.
I don't know why I'm telling a bunch of strangers on the Internet this. I think I see a bit of myself in niomi in terms of her mental state, I'm a mess. But she has the means to literally pay for help, go anywhere in the world, buy property, distract herself, and I can't. I just feel helpless, depressed and alone.

Oh girl I feel your pain so much, your post made me tear up. You WILL get through this, trust me. Last year my fiancé broke up with me out of the blue. We had an 18month old daughter together ànd a house. It absolutely shattered me. I thought I would never recover. I even needed sick leave from work for 2 months because of the stress. We’re now more than a year later and I’m happier than ever. Not fake happy like Niomi but genuinely happy we’re co-parenting our daughter, I got my own flat and I got a promotion at work. I’m also dating again and just met someone I really like. In the beginning I also thought I lost my dreamy Joe but I now realize that when people break up, they were not meant to be in the first place. I listened to 1000 podcasts about breakups, self-love and healing and also spent countless of hours in therapy, and it made a huge difference. I recommend if you can afford it or can receive free therapy through a medical insurance. Sending you lots of love and see you soon on the other side

 

[Lionsden]

I think you’re giving her too much slack to be honest. She always presented herself as this delicate girly but she was always scammy - remember her whole eating smart brand was rip off pinterest recipes. She never had anything original or creative to offer, if it wasn’t for Marcus (whom she dumped eventually) she wouldn’t have all that social media following let’s be honest.

Besides I really don’t agree with labeling Joe as judgemental towards her, if anything we can see from her videos it was the other way round. Judging his food habits, judging him for wanting to sleep in on the weekend after a whole week of work instead of going for a run with her, throwing a fit he had to work late etc. I think she subconsciously started judging herself because for the first time she was dating someone with an actual job and career goals (contrary to her, Marcus and their social circle) that she started feeling insecure. But it was the truth, she had a bullshit job and was doing nothing most days because she was always extremely lazy - though her level of laziness now has truly peaked.

Then when stuff didn’t go her way of course she didn’t take any responsibility and just blamed it on others and „toxic love”. I really think she’s a disgusting person - especially with how easily she ditched her own family (and it was before Lordon even, when she preferred to continue her bali vacation instead of going back to the uk to support her mom when she lost her dad. Then she ditched her family and friends again just because they didn’t accept her new guy. She’s extremely opportunistic and thinks only about herself.

I agree. There are so many dodgy projects that showed that she has no values, and no backbone to fess up and explain herself to her audience when she messes up. I'm thinking about the range of self-care / lifestyle products she did with Boots at the height of her self-proclaimed sustainability. The products were a total rip-off and basically anti-sustainable. When hundreds of people questioned her reasonably in the comments she didn't really take the valid criticism on board but replied in an evasive, general manner. And all the countless ads that go against what she preached just before (and often after as well). She's shrewd and conniving when it comes to making money, and she doesn't mind bleeping her audience over again and again, all in surprised innocence, of course. She's part stupid, part hiding behind that stupidity, but always with her own interests in sight.

 

[meizee]

OT here to make you feel better about your own lives
Guys im going through the worst break up of my life. I feel like I just lost my own Dreamy Joe. I'm almost 30 but I don't have money to burn like Niomi so I can't even do what I want with my life and start over. My heart feels like it was ripped out of my chest yesterday morning when it happened. It's so raw right now. I haven't stopped crying for the last 24 hours.
I'm also about to be fired because my boss thinks I'm underperforming. I have no savings because I burned through them all in the last year living in London since I was working underpaid jobs, I'm still underpaid at the moment (30k) it's barely enough to get by when my rent is 900 a month- in a house share...
I've left London for Easter and come back to my family up north- we're not made of money but my mum has been so supportive, I was really scared to tell her all of this because I've always been the child they don't have to worry about, but she was just happy to see me and that I opened up to her.
I don't know why I'm telling a bunch of strangers on the Internet this. I think I see a bit of myself in niomi in terms of her mental state, I'm a mess. But she has the means to literally pay for help, go anywhere in the world, buy property, distract herself, and I can't. I just feel helpless, depressed and alone.

Spoiler: I was you four months ago

Am so sorry to hear about this… but in the darkest moments remember you dodged a bullet. If they could do that to you, then they weren’t the person you thought you loved.

I was in similar position just before Christmas - partner I adored (legit had kids names picked out and we’d discussed wedding venues) said they were breaking up with me because of my MH issues and then discovered he’d been sleeping with my best friend. Long story short - he moved her in while I was in hospital recovering from a break down. DARK times.
I had to move in with my mum - if she has the space, cannot encourage this enough. It can be hard when you’re a bit older, and it’s tough admitting being vulnerable to need help, but in the long run it’s worth asking for it. tit happens, you did nothing wrong.

agree re why this makes Niomi so infuriating - she had all the tools you and I would have given a limb for to be able to cope.

It’ll take time, and this is still too raw to comprehend or understand. Jobs come and go, prioritise you and start afresh, whatever feels best for you.

I may be 32 in my mums spare room having jacked in my city job for a part time pub gig, but it’s working for now. And better than being strung along by a frisky fuckcrumpet. We can do better x

 

[Sasa44]

I think you’re giving her too much slack to be honest. She always presented herself as this delicate girly but she was always scammy - remember her whole eating smart brand was rip off pinterest recipes. She never had anything original or creative to offer, if it wasn’t for Marcus (whom she dumped eventually) she wouldn’t have all that social media following let’s be honest.

Besides I really don’t agree with labeling Joe as judgemental towards her, if anything we can see from her videos it was the other way round. Judging his food habits, judging him for wanting to sleep in on the weekend after a whole week of work instead of going for a run with her, throwing a fit he had to work late etc. I think she subconsciously started judging herself because for the first time she was dating someone with an actual job and career goals (contrary to her, Marcus and their social circle) that she started feeling insecure. But it was the truth, she had a bullshit job and was doing nothing most days because she was always extremely lazy - though her level of laziness now has truly peaked.

Then when stuff didn’t go her way of course she didn’t take any responsibility and just blamed it on others and „toxic love”. I really think she’s a disgusting person - especially with how easily she ditched her own family (and it was before Lordon even, when she preferred to continue her bali vacation instead of going back to the uk to support her mom when she lost her dad. Then she ditched her family and friends again just because they didn’t accept her new guy. She’s extremely opportunistic and thinks only about herself.

Oh, I'm giving her way too much slack. I'm trying to imagine it from her perspective.

duck the frisky fuckcrumpets, right @meizee?

 

[irvinelane]

I agree. There are so many dodgy projects that showed that she has no values, and no backbone to fess up and explain herself to her audience when she messes up. I'm thinking about the range of self-care / lifestyle products she did with Boots at the height of her self-proclaimed sustainability. The products were a total rip-off and basically anti-sustainable. When hundreds of people questioned her reasonably in the comments she didn't really take the valid criticism on board but replied in an evasive, general manner. And all the countless ads that go against what she preached just before (and often after as well). She's shrewd and conniving when it comes to making money, and she doesn't mind bleeping her audience over again and again, all in surprised innocence, of course. She's part stupid, part hiding behind that stupidity, but always with her own interests in sight.

Now I’m thinking: can these influencers ever have values or ethics if their « career » are managed by an agency? It’s all about money and appearance, so probably 90% of them are just hypocrite about their content and the brands/products they promote. They don’t do any research and just repeat or transcribe what they are told. The bottom line is that the fact Niomi has always been scammy totally makes sense in my opinion, since she has never been able to think by herself. Whether it be an agency or a man, someone has always told her what to do.

 

[Slaybutter]

I’m joining in team #fuckthefriskyfuckcrumpet!

sending love @meizee You’ll find better than him!!

 

[ElenaK]

So many good points made in the posts, I always maintained several things can be true at once. Just as I've said a while back, I fully believe Niomi is deeply hurting and I empathize as a human and a woman. However, hurt can't be an excuse to cause even more hurt. Niomi is an adult, responsible for her own choices and neither her pain nor her upbringing can justify the sometimes even dangerous content she's put out there over the years. ED's are no joke, being vegan isn't supposed to be used for clicks and likes and money grabs, giving unsolicited medical advice is harmful... I could go on. I wish Niomi the best, but I've been done excusing her toxic behaviour for a long time now and I'm going to call it out, because she keeps putting it out there to an impressionable audience.

 

[AshMay]

Late to the party but this thread title is gold 🤌

Also sending big hugs to you lovely tattlers going through it at the moment

Now I’m thinking: can these influencers ever have values or ethics if their « career » are managed by an agency? It’s all about money and appearance, so probably 90% of them are just hypocrite about their content and the brands/products they promote. They don’t do any research and just repeat or transcribe what they are told. The bottom line is that the fact Niomi has always been scammy totally makes sense in my opinion, since she has never been able to think by herself. Whether it be an agency or a man, someone has always told her what to do.

Yup they're just glorified billboards really, no thought or ethics, just shilling whatever they're paid to!

 

[kyaraslife]

The way she keeps referring to her boyfriend as “my love” or “my “ sounds so detached and impersonal. Weird.

I always sensed it was very mechanical coming from her. She never addressed Joey or Marcus that way. As Lordon has rewired her entire psyche, it’s not reaching to assume that he wants her to call him that. She simply obeys.

 

[irvinelane]

She’s been quiet for the past few days because without Jamie around her, there’s no ass/half-naked pictures to post, but first and foremost, no one to write her captions.

 

[Sasa44]

She’s been quiet for the past few days because without Jamie around her, there’s no ass/half-naked pictures to post, but first and foremost, no one to write her captions.

Fingers crossed she's planning her sweet escape

 

[londongirl2001]

We always have a choice.

Oh sure, and if your only goal in life is having a boy and you’re scared of losing said boy by leaving his side for a second, then that kind of is a choice. Add to that the fact that the boy is a scam artist posing as a lifecoach who is in the process of controlling every aspect of her life - then there might be choices left, but sometimes it’s hard to make them

 

[Coldfeet]

Unless he puts shackles round her ankles she 'is' choosing Lordon's version of a relationship. She's chosen to play the 'lovebomb' game and she's 'chosen' to announce their hook up on SM and discuss it on a podcast. I don't buy the 'helpless Dimbobs' narrative at all. In her eyes, this relationship 'serves' her well.

 

[QueenBW]

Saw this and thought of Nims

She probs needs both.

 

[Lionsden]

She’s been quiet for the past few days because without Jamie around her, there’s no ass/half-naked pictures to post, but first and foremost, no one to write her captions.

She's probably just traveling. No posts usually means long-haul flight.