She needs some tips from her digital-BFF-forever-Chief-Fawner and top commenter Rosana (is she being paid? Nobody will ever know). Her table displays were right the other end of the spectrum: so extra you'd get a migraine before the main course.
Niomi Smart #53 Still missing JoeJoe, now selling a Dildo
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I'd take rosana's over the top, borderline chavvy ones over Niomi's depressing one
there's just something about those ugly mugs that's quite festive spirit dampening.
Jamie is so relieved to be far from his future in-laws.
Rossnna Davison as in Chris De Burgh's daughter? Didn't know she was related to Lordon. Andrea Roche is his SIL. Funnily enough Rosanna is represented by Andrea's agency.
Sorry I mixed them up! You are correct Andrea Roche who owns the what was model agency now influencer agency is who I meant!
I feel haunted by two words this year, Happy and Gorgeous... Nims will suffer eating Holly's gorgeous vegan slop, that's for sure.
Finally, no Nutcrackers in sight..
Finally, no Nutcrackers in sight..
Verity HATES Lordon. This is the final proof. ETA: photo not attaching but she only reposted the photo of Niomi's "nap" and one of "her girls". No Lordon whatsoever. He didn't even exist.
Happy, gorgeous, beautiful. Oy.
And she still doesn't follow him!
Yes I feel that too. I bet she hopes it's just a phase. I know they just moved in together but to Niomi having another place she can abandon for Bali isn't a big deal. I'm so curious to what her female friends really think of her dating Lordon and moving 5000 miles an hour in their weird relationship.
Just the fact that he's putting out some new crappy quility videos of his own kinda show that he's using this new traction from being with her to only better his BS business.
Where is Lordon during this photo? Looks like Niomi is snapping the picture. Did he go to the bathroom and they all went “QUICK! HES GONE! FAMILY PHOTO”
I bet they all said "Let's just get the family only" lol.Where is Lordon during this photo? Looks like Niomi is snapping the picture. Did he go to the bathroom and they all went “QUICK! HES GONE! FAMILY PHOTO”
I reckon Verity liked Forky quite a lot because she knew him and Niomi had been friends for a long time before they got together and he was quite successful in his right with his PT business. Sure he liked featuring Niomi on the Insta for likes but to be fair they were both using each other for content. Where as Lordon has completely lovebombed Niomi (major red flag) especially as they’ve moved in together so quickly and he comes across as such a leech.
Rosanna Falconer (who I have had the misfortune of meeting through friends in real life) is one of the most sycophantic twats on Insta. The way she sucks up to other influencers she perceives to be useful to her is absolutely nauseating. If you think she fawns over Niomi, you should see how she salivates over Laura Wills and Kelly Eastwood. It’s excruciatingly embarrassing how obsequious she is. And in real life, by the way, she is a calculated witch. She is bitter that she married down (husband is not from wealthy background or earning loads of money). Can’t stand her fake jollity either. When I’ve seen her out and about (she lives in Battersea and I see her sometimes on the Albert bridge when I’m crossing over into battersea park) she looks miserable and sour as duck.
Feel sorry for whoever had to sit across from toothy eating
Happy Christmas eve to you all 
may the Holiday Season brings only happiness and joy to you and your loved ones. I wish each and every one a season full of light and laughter.
I couldn’t be more grateful to have joined this wonderful and unique community of ours. Every moment spent here on Tattle is a chance to laugh, learn, share, grow, support each other, and express ourselves freely and honestly without judgment.
Thank you for being amazing. Cheers to us
keep rocking, keep shining 
may the Holiday Season brings only happiness and joy to you and your loved ones. I wish each and every one a season full of light and laughter.I couldn’t be more grateful to have joined this wonderful and unique community of ours. Every moment spent here on Tattle is a chance to laugh, learn, share, grow, support each other, and express ourselves freely and honestly without judgment.
Thank you for being amazing. Cheers to us
keep rocking, keep shining 
Oooh love you too Tattlers ! You are the light that keeps on shinning in this shish world 
merry Christmas and happy new year ! You are my flamingo to my pose, the beige to my coat, my everyday gorgeous avocado, my beaudiful non #sponsored gift of them all ! Happy Iberian ham appetizers
hoping for us all that the duvet coat and the lord of teeth part ways, become friends that communicate frequently!
But on a serious note, you deserve all the best in this world! Hope your deepest dreams come true
merry Christmas and happy new year ! You are my flamingo to my pose, the beige to my coat, my everyday gorgeous avocado, my beaudiful non #sponsored gift of them all ! Happy Iberian ham appetizers hoping for us all that the duvet coat and the lord of teeth part ways, become friends that communicate frequently!But on a serious note, you deserve all the best in this world! Hope your deepest dreams come true
It's interesting to me that she and Joe could never find a way to do Christmas together, but she's going to Ireland for her first Christmas with Jamie. Whether this is because she's willing to do anything to avoid being single, or because he's love-bombed her into compliance I think is yet to be seen.
She's pining for sludge vegan food!!
I reckon Verity liked Forky because he's a Turkey Teeth Tory like them, and Lordon isn't. There are lots of issues with Lordon but for her family, I suspect class is probably the biggest. He may come from a well-off family but they are Irish. In Surrey, that's a bit like being from the wrong side of the tracks (no offence; that's just how they see it). He doesn't help himself with the Derelicte look, obviously.
Her family are NOT POSH. I grew up in Surrey and my Irish mother lived there from 1953 to 2014. She outclassed the local population in every way- not that I'm biased
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