Niomi Smart #50 Insulting a culture, one day at a time

[CallItAsItIs]

Seriously, if this is her living her best life, then I can’t even seriously imagine what her worst would be.
Oh wait…

 

[cookiemunchmunch]

Why did I click on this video? I thought his teeth were his problem, but he also seems to have a problem with an oversized tongue that almost prevents him from speaking.
View attachment 1637032

 

[irvinelane]

I know that’s something we have already mentioned several times, but I can’t help it.

 

[Callan]

So she's got a great chart, was born into the right family that ended up having money, is always on vacation, no real job, can burn money like there's no tomorrow and she's still miserable. Guess it's true that hard work builds character cause she doesn't have any.

 

[Sasa44]

Mark my word, the man has just discovered he's gay

 

[Ciri]

All the things that Niomi doesn't do. Great choice

 

[Lionsden]

So he can close his mouth.. hmm interesting

I thought that would provide some relief. But apparently he's still super gross with his mouth closed.

 

[Clover123]

I think she's one of those people who just loves having a visible sling, you can see she is straining to get it in! She must be really desperate for some sympathy. Surely she can't be with Lordon anymore, not helping your girlfriend after surgery is a dumpable offence in my opinion!

I wonder if the surgery is why she isn't going back to Bali. Perhaps Lordon just went without her to find himself another new cult member to "life coach"

 

[irvinelane]

Spoiler: About Holly.

I’m sorry, I had to post this. Apparently, she had a good sleep.

 

[irvinelane]

More comments.

I, too, have a podcast name idea: empty conversations with a (un)happy flamingo.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Sarah is batshit tbh, I'm not really convinced Tanya cheated by Sarah's say so. I strongly get the feeling Sarah would consider e.g. post-separation relationships as 'cheating' before the divorce is finalised.

Niomi could never do a podcast like that though because imagine the tea the others have on her...I bet there's tonnes, it's always the quieter ones

 

[cocochino]

Those hotel rooms must be a bit shit if they don't even have TV's?

If I just had surgery, the last thing I'd want to do is go sit in a hotel lobby and watch tv. I'd just want to go home. How bloody depressing.

 

[WinterSolstice]

Of course Forky, we all know by now that you would only date a skinny female.
I always find it funny when men say they only want to date women who enjoy working out, take care of themselves.. no, you actually want someone who is skinny, that's it. Say it how it is

I hope he one day meets a slim, beautiful, intelligent woman and falls head over for heels for her…

…only to have her tell him he’s an ignorant philistine and to fuq off and read a book.

 

[irvinelane]

Well, it certainly looks great on anyone who would promote it.

Oh Monica, haven’t you seen her posts for the past 2 years? Happy all day, everyday.

 

[Callan]

Sorry this is so crude but she'd look so much better with a darker hair color.

It must feel so weird for Niomi who is a pretend model on Instagram to stand next to an actual model lol.

 

[Shutterbug99]

Working title: Smart Arse.

She'll talk about how she was blindsided and left heartbroken by a 'toxic love.' Will detail her healing process (fork around, buy a shed) and share how she found love again in Bahhhhli after a few missteps along the way (Forky). MANIFESTING, MANIFESTING, MANIFESTING. Lots of waffle about 'right paths' and 'everything happening for a reason.' She will talk about how she is so happy right now; she's the happiest she's ever been. She is happy, happy, happy!!!

Adverts for Lordon's life coaching scam will feature throughout.

Possible guests: Caggie Dunlop, Venetia La Manna, Sophie Dear, Roxie Nafousi, HOLLY WHITE.

 

[Callan]

Forky keeps whining that people keep pestering him about his relationship status and that he's here to talk about working out, then he answers 8 questions in a row about relationships, or rather lack of.

 

[Clover123]

Can you imagine if she actually talked to a genuinely suffering woman, fleeing war or something? She wouldn't take anything in, she would blankly look at them and tell them she could relate because she was dumped by her fiance! She's clueless.

I actually hate the idea that brands are hosting these sickening events where they invite vapid rich people to sit around patting themselves on the back for listening to more vapid people expressing platitudes like they are deep and meaningful. You shouldn't need a sponsored event by Jimmy Choo to make you realise people are suffering, and what on earth did this event actually achieve?! I'd be way more impressed if Jimmy Choo had made a big donation to a cause, this gifting and wining and dining of wannabe celebrities is such a mad thing to do I am baffled they don't get any backlash for it. It feels so openly mocking and fraudulent!

 

[Medusa0907]

I am so glad I found this hread! I am from Ireland and I have followed Lordon's sister (and him from a distance) for years. A pair of total chancers; they come from a highly privileged background in South Dublin and both went to very expensive private schools. Seems to be bankrolled from someone. Holly used to work as a fashion journalist, but in recent years she has transitioned into a snake oil salesperson and jumps on every "wellness" bandwagon going to find inner peace - to no avail it appears and with FA engagement.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I believe this is his ex (it was mentioned a few threads back). She's a sex therapist called Jenny Keane.

View attachment 1639391

Wtf? Maybe the guy is hung like a horse as well as looking like one…only explanation tbh