Niomi Smart #44 She ‘got it done’ with Forky in bed, then moved to Bali and brought a Donkey to her shed

Choose a nickname for Niomi's new man

  • Toothy

    Votes: 62 17.6%

  • Horsey

    Votes: 24 6.8%

  • Dental Daddy

    Votes: 90 25.5%

  • Gnasher

    Votes: 37 10.5%

  • Donkey

    Votes: 42 11.9%

  • Lordon

    Votes: 123 34.8%

  • Something else (state in comments)

    Votes: 4 1.1%
  • Total voters
    353
  • Poll closed .
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Shutterbug99

Thanks to @Critchley for the thread title! Apologies, I had to tweak it a bit to make it fit.

Recap:

Niomi's grandpa sadly died while Nims was in Bali, but instead of returning home to support her family and attend his funeral, Nims stayed right where she was, because:




Nims turned 30 while she was in Bali, but we didn't get any drunk dancing in the park this year. Instead her birthday was a low-key affair spent with her new 'Bali family.' Forky sent birthday wishes her way, which she ignored, but all the same she claimed she was not interested in pursuing a new relationship. She also claimed that men were licherally throwing themselves at her in Bali. Oh, and Dettol Daddy made a reappearance in Bali too. Still, Nims claimed she was only interested in making friends.





She lied. Nims has a new man in her life. We had a lot of intel on this from our Tattle detectives and it's been confirmed on IG. She brought him home from Bali with her and they are currently shacked up in her shed (probably). Here he is:







We need a nickname for him. Cast your votes!
 
Reactions: 52

jaymie

He is also so much taller than PT. But his occupation is a red flag. Never date a PT or any coach.
 
Reactions: 27

pointblankperiod

I've been away from this thread for couple of weeks, and to come back to all this hot ass tea??? Damn, slurp slurppp
 
Reactions: 39
E

eenyweeny

All I can think is how she’s so comfortable to bring this random dude back to her actual home/shed? Is she not concerned about her safety, shacking up with someone she barely knows?
 
Reactions: 28

pointblankperiod

But in all seriousness
I’ve been following Niomi since 2014, supported her in earlier days, and then started to lurk on here cause I noticed some unhinged behaviour. Still, always gave her benefit of a doubt. But now, after reading about this new toothyboy? Shipped from fucking Bali right to her doorstep? God damn I’m done with her. She’s FERAL
 
Reactions: 32

Lionsden

Here comes a Lordon photo dump to start off the thread. Quite frankly, I don't see the appeal.

 
Reactions: 74

Pundertaker

He's got quite a weak chin. I think that's why he poses with his mouth open all the time--it makes his head look bigger.

Niomi also has a weak chin. Imagine if they had kids; they'd be a little family of Chinless Wonders.

Now I have this in my head

Chin chimeny, chin chimeny, chin chin cheri
Niomi is thirty and went to Bali
Chim chimeny, chin chimeny, chin chin cheroo
She brought home some penis but she is still blue
 
Reactions: 89

QueenBW

Can't decide who is less attractive, Forky or Lordon Donkey.

I can just feel my ovaries shrinking at the sight of either of them though.
 
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Reactions: 54

triesherbest

This is honestly a downgrade from Forky both in terms of occupation and looks. She's outdone herself
 
Reactions: 63

Jaybtee

Both of them are a hangman’s nightmare!
 
Reactions: 19
K

kwanstermonster

I had a creep on his LinkedIn and it seems that he went to a posh boys boarding school in Ireland so maybe nimbobs is hoping terrina will approve of his social class
 
Reactions: 27

Callan

^ omgosh yes!! I couldn't put my finger on it, but that's the guy he reminds me of lol!
 
Reactions: 9

cookiemunchmunch

Lionsden said:
Here comes a Lordon photo dump to start off the thread. Quite frankly, I don't see the appeal.

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Uncanny.

Sorry if this is mean lol but it genuinely reminded me of the Mouth of Sauron. Maybe try a different pose other than opening your mouth as wide as possible.

I defo agree that he’s a downgrade from Forky and that says a lot, to me one of the worst and most pretentious professions out there is a “life coach”. Professional scammer basically
 
Reactions: 31

curiouscat106

You can have Botox either side of your nose to prevent your top lip lifting so high when you smile so you don’t see the gum line. I bet that’s top of Niomi’s tweakment list for her new whatever the fuck he is…
 
Reactions: 17
F

Finstavibes

His ex is that sex coach jenny Keane & he used to organise lots of sex parties in Ireland
 
Reactions: 57

lilamay

Can't get over how quickly she's moved on from Forky to Lordon.
Just a few months ago:

Screenshot thanks to @coriander

Forky seen on Ray's a month after this as well. Their relationship, if you can even call it that, really was so superficial.
 
Last edited:
Reactions: 39
Status
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