I remember that one! I think it was that one or another race she woke him up to eat at the perfect time, and said she made sure they had a perfectly balanced pasta dish the night before for perfect fuel. Her whole life revolves around it. Then Joe scarfed a banana right before they ran, bet she was secretly freaking out.
Niomi Smart #3 Trouble in paradise, did Joey flee? We don't know yet but await the fennel tea!
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Blink twice if you need help Joey 
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Can you imagine wanting a lie in at the weekend and being woken up to run a 10k? If he wanted to do that surely he would have woken up himself? I'd have thrown the pillow at her head.
At this point I really feel like she has been bullying him this entire time.
Maybe the relationship is different behind closed doors, but I really doubt it that these two have any meaningful conversations or even normal arguments, she's too controlling and he is too vanilla to even react to her madness.
All I know is that she really needs help.
And also she needs to work on her vocabulary. everything is either stunning or brilliant. English is not my first nor my second language and even I know that.
Maybe the relationship is different behind closed doors, but I really doubt it that these two have any meaningful conversations or even normal arguments, she's too controlling and he is too vanilla to even react to her madness.
All I know is that she really needs help.
And also she needs to work on her vocabulary. everything is either stunning or brilliant. English is not my first nor my second language and even I know that.
I think she mentioned something about their time while he was scarfing & he said let’s just do it! She’s such a Type A bless her.
She really has gone on a following spree of anxiety, depression and wellbeing pages.
If she does feel her mental health isn’t very strong, I hope she seeks proper support. Following a few page on Instagram isn’t going to help.
If she does feel her mental health isn’t very strong, I hope she seeks proper support. Following a few page on Instagram isn’t going to help.
In (cis hetro) relationahips one always loves the other more though, starts off being the guy, ends up being the girl.
Niomi is either the type who only 'makes love' by candlelight under the covers with her bra still on or a total experimental wild card.
Again it's time to place your bets!
Niomi is either the type who only 'makes love' by candlelight under the covers with her bra still on or a total experimental wild card.
Again it's time to place your bets!
It's nothing an Ayurvedic diet can't cure.........
Niomi has always been vanilla but the lockdown vlogs really exposed how boring a person she seems. With all her content over the years I'm still wondering does she actually have any interests or hobbies outside of her particular brand of wellness? Her entire personality revolves around it to the point where she's lazy in learning other skills. She never finished that book instead preferring to use it as a prop to pose for the gram and tell us how much she missed India. She also bought a keyboard during lockdown and talked about it once but we never saw her attempt to play it and she never mentioned it again. He's boring as well but going by the accounts he follows on Instagram and that he was listening to a podcast in the background in a lockdown vlog there are glimpses that Joe at least keeps an eye on current affairs/politics (even if it is in a generic privileged white guy in his 30s way). He seems to keep up with general film and trends and meme culture etc. Niomi seems to have no curiosity in media or the outer world aside from her wellness bubble.
Although looking back on that Q&A when she said she had a dream about Paul Mescal being her boyfriend after watching Normal People (maybe it was subconscious that she's unhappy with their sex life too!) I know she also idolises Audrey Hepburn and Classic Hollywood stars but I had to roll my eyes when she mentioned that the first present she ever bought Joe was this print of Brigitte Bardot and Laurent Terzieff because she thought it kinda looked them as a couple! (If she did the quickest of researching she would know Bardot married and got divorced multiple times, was unfaithful and had multiple affairs, and in recent years supports Far Right Politics and was fined repeatedly for racial hatred.) Uhh and she wants to project herself onto her. She really does superficially romanticise everything.
Although looking back on that Q&A when she said she had a dream about Paul Mescal being her boyfriend after watching Normal People (maybe it was subconscious that she's unhappy with their sex life too!) I know she also idolises Audrey Hepburn and Classic Hollywood stars but I had to roll my eyes when she mentioned that the first present she ever bought Joe was this print of Brigitte Bardot and Laurent Terzieff because she thought it kinda looked them as a couple! (If she did the quickest of researching she would know Bardot married and got divorced multiple times, was unfaithful and had multiple affairs, and in recent years supports Far Right Politics and was fined repeatedly for racial hatred.) Uhh and she wants to project herself onto her. She really does superficially romanticise everything.
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She is ignorant. That's her brand. Like when she was surprised India had all the vegan stuff. Really not a good look lol
I'm actually rewatching the fateful smoothie bowl weather/teabag/Joe's toast vlog and when it came out I thought Joe was just tired and grumpy from being injured, but if you watch it with this new context he looks sooo pissed off and done with her.
I cringed at the Bardot poster too... Reminded me of in university, there would be an annual big ‘poster sale’ in the common area and it was always flooded with first year students buying those basic witch black and white posters.... girls buying Audrey Hepburn or whatever and guys buying ~arty~ posters of girls in white underwear making out lol. And every dorm was covered in the same cliche posters but when you’re 18 you think ‘this is TASTE’. But then the poster sale just became an inside joke as you got older. Also I can’t imagine excitedly gifting my boyfriend a big print of a celeb couple on the beach and thinking he’d love it but to each their own.
Oooh I’m intrigued by this! The first time that she’s done (lol) anything remotely interesting. I wonder how long til we find out the goss? I have nothing really to contribute other than enjoying the speculation 
This is so unbelievably cringe! That poor guy. She tries to food shame him over and over. It’s glaringly obvious they she is over acting to appear nice and breezy but she makes these passive aggressive digs at him over the stupidest things.
I just watched this and I can't believe that she woke him up just because she wanted to eat at 8am, because she couldn't eat her breakfast on her own?! Why did he have to be there too, as if she couldn't let him "lie-in" for a bit longer, especially if he hadn't slept well and was running a race that day...
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Also her comment to Joey "I love how you're fuelling with a banana right now" ?? As if that's unusual before a race? Seems like she just had to be in control of what he was eating!
and the "You tell they're runners...there's just random people scattered everywhere stretching AhahAHhahaHAhha"
Talk about sheltered?
Maybe jim will dump sarah and move in for the kill with niomi now.
Jimbobs and nimbobs. The bobs.
Jimbobs and nimbobs. The bobs.
With their similarly passive aggressive and condescending way of talking to their partners, they're a match made in hell, truly.
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