Niomi Smart #28 Still smarting over dreamy Joe, giving fascist Forky a go.

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Order Thread by Most Liked Posts
A

Am88

Went to Daunt books for the gram…. Has made it to page 2 by the looks of the bookmark placement? Waiting for the next book swimming suit overly posed selfie after she gets bored on page 3. Then “A Sunday in Ville-d’Avray” will join Shantaram in the book graveyard.
 
Reactions: 17
S

saks10111

lol also when she walks in with her back towards us, she has to flip her hair forwards so it “looks good” when she faces the camera… she must be a nightmare on hols, that friend who only puts up photos where she looks good and wants you to delete any photos where she hasn’t carefully posed and preened.
 
Reactions: 25

Coldfeet

A quotation from the book she's pretending to read.

'On Sundays,” Claire Marie tells Jane, “certain things come back to you more than on other days. On Sundays, you think about life.”

OR in Flyomi's case, you post a YT video- or NOT!!
 
Reactions: 11

Pundertaker

earlgrey said:
All that bunched up fabric, she’s wedged those bottoms right up her arse.
Click to expand...
All those teensy portions, her arse is hungry.

I went to a spa recently and did the ice thing. It was really nice, surprisingly. Good for exfoliating. Had a big fuck off coffee afterwards. Mmm, coffee.
 
Reactions: 23
L

leiadeler

QueenBW said:
I think Niomi used to be a pretty girl, not so much now, but she has never ever ever had any sex appeal, in my opinion. Granted, I'm not into women so maybe I don't see her appeal. We need a poll for straight men and gay women: is Nims hot?
Click to expand...
I’m straight but I think Niomi is pretty, however I definitely don’t think she is sexy. She doesn’t really have sex appeal as you said. Came on here because her Instagram stories made me CRINGE my ass off. She looks so desperate. Someone needs to stop her lol.
 
Reactions: 20

sitkx

Besties,

Please join me on a Tattle Wellness Retreat.

First day schedule:
11:00am - A moderated forum with the following guests will take place
  • In conversation with Fredward Woodward: The spice rack that broke the camel’s back
  • In conversation with Charlotte: What went wrong // The bridesmaids proposal I wasn’t ready for
  • Special guest, Dettol Daddy: One coffee, one hidden packet of Splenda. How it started and how it ended
12:00pm - open bar Happy Hour


16:00 - carbohydrate buffet (Warning: as the event organizer, I HATE not being in control of my body, and I eat exclusively carbs. So if any form of vegetable is found on your person during the trip, you will be promptly escorted off the premises. No refunds.)

18:00- coffee hour & PowerPoint Presentations
  • Please join us at 6 for coffee (minimum 2 drink purchase per person required), followed by PP presentations by Niomi Smart. Presentations include “How to Lose Friends and Influence People”, “How to be a carbon villain”, along with fan favorite “I am NOT an influencer”

19:00 - Instagram feature presentation by Terrina titled “That was then & This is now”. Big Tezza will explore Dimbob’s greatest Instagram moments. Notable mentions include pizza night” and “” with the mop hair.

20:00- Karaoke bar (special guest: Bradley Simmonds)
  • Bradley will be performing a medley of greatest hits, such as “Achy Breaky Fart”, “Wake me up when Niomi tags me”, “Smells like Niomi is hitting the Spirits”, “While my dignity gently weeps”, “Hellbent for Instagram exposure”, and others

21:00- Paint and Sip with Verity
  • Join us for a glass of wine and interior design lesson with Verity, where we will paint by numbers on a book-wallpaper while learning about Britain’s tackiest interiors

22:00- Happy Hour and Poetry reading with Special Guest Caggie. Poems include “Saturn is coming” and “The end is nigh”

23:00- End of day 1

Please sign up, spots are VERY limited. Cost is £35,000/person per night + taxes, organizational fees, accommodations and travel not included, food not included.


Special Thank You to our sponsors: Dettol, Farmacy, Mercedes Benz, and the National Rugby Association in partnership with the Woodwards.

See you there

#AD #Sponsored #Gifted #Sustainable #Plant-Based #vegan #fishtank #garage #Brixton #Sussex #OnwardNotWoodward #Anna #Fredward #Bridesmaids #WeeekendGetaway #SmartSwap #SmartSkin #LivingSmart #NOTanInfluencer #reducereuserecycle #mercedesbenz #veganinterior #Gleambot #JusticeforJoey
 
Last edited:
Reactions: 137

mg95

She absolutely only picked up that book because the front cover is the right *~aesthetic~* for her bland instagram posts. It looks like it's taken her a week to read 5 pages. This 'books as accessories'/ 'hot girls who read' thing that models like Kaia Gerber have started is truly so idiotic.
 
Reactions: 25

Sheabutter

I’m tired of it too. Kaia Gerber’s mom Cindy Crawford is academic and super model goals though.
 
Reactions: 7
D

dodo789

Beauhead said:
If I invited a friend for a girls weekend and she brought her bf I would be annoyed too!
Click to expand...
I think, the boyfriend arrived on Nimbob’s last day or her second to last day and Charlotte and the boyfriend stayed longer there, I guess normal people can’t have constant holidays and days off so maybe they planned it this way
 
Reactions: 8

Callan

Ugh her stories were so cringe, also day two looks like such a joke.

 
Reactions: 12

CheshireLove

I was already laughing at Fredward Woodward but “wake me up when Niomi tags me” is just perfection!

Callan said:
Ugh her stories were so cringe, also day two looks like such a joke.

View attachment 810438
Click to expand...
Dimbobs lacks any structure in her life so she’s gone to a retreat for someone to write a bullshit schedule for her.
 
Reactions: 31

bumblebee212

OMG the Tattle Wellness Retreat!!! I'm joining, I'm paying, I'll even bring my own ice bath!
And may I suggest one additional item on the agenda: Post-luncheon (botox) shots with Terrina? I want to look 95 like she does!
 
Reactions: 34
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
Menu
Log in
Register