Niomi Smart #27 from selfish to shellfish

[judgejohndeed]

Hahaha Dimbo saying she’s funnier in real life is like a teenage boy saying they have a girlfriend but she goes to another school we’ve all seen that piano dance incident, not a chance she’s funnier IRL

 

[milanolo]

I think Niomi said somewhere that she waters down her personality for the camera and she’s more funny in real life, but she puts tit she thinks is interesting like this (1:58) in her videos and I’m not so sure

If you have to tell people you’re funny, you’re not funny.

 

[Sheabutter]

What is this roadway

 

[Mrs.Scamander]

Forky Bravo gives me SO much ick. Like, I can't find words to express the ickiness level. If one of my friends started seeing him I would lose my damn mind with concern. I cannot imagine him to have any redeeming features. No matter how they are involved, I think it's poor judgment on Dimboobs part.

And they're tooottallly banging. There's just no way a guy that and a girl that desperate are sharing a cottage without ending up in bed. BUT I'm sure she thinks that means they're exclusive, and I'm sure he will never, ever, ever stop hooking up with every other person he feels a spark of attraction with. She'll act more like a "cool girl" to make it seem like she doesn't mind, and basically it'll be a race to the bottom.

Also, dang! DJ is looking good! Are those new photos? Is that LIFE I see in his eyes? Is it possible he's eaten a full meal lately?? I'm genuinely happy for him!

 

[Coldfeet]

Let's be honest. Her definition of 'funny' is never going to resonate with any of us!!
Sniggering at every mismanaged life event, wearing granny pants , prancing round with a key board and a smoothie bowl, not knowing the difference between the Cotswolds and Cornwall................none of this is funny. Pahhhhhhhthetic

 

[YungOFfenders123]

He reminds me a bit more of her stepdad...they have similar vibes

 

[Shutterbug99]

View attachment 791186
Niomi is probably secretly wishing he was holding their baby instead…
Bradley is neither husband nor father material, and we know Dimbobs is desperate to get married and have kids. Yikes.

Dreamy Joe is back to his dreamy best!

Huge difference between how he looks here and how he looked during lockdown. Poor guy was really suffering.

 

[Ms.Marble]

Let's be honest. Her definition of 'funny' is never going to resonate with any of us!!
Sniggering at every mismanaged life event, wearing granny pants , prancing round with a key board and a smoothie bowl, not knowing the difference between the Cotswolds and Cornwall................none of this is funny. Pahhhhhhhthetic

Just as a further example, she told the story of her stepdad freezing a whole banana when she told him to freeze bananas that were about to go off multiple times. And every time she does, she finds it so hilarious. Please! She's as funny as she is hard working.

 

[lilamay]

Watch 3:58-4:20. Niomi is clearly a comic genius, you guys.

 

[imsorryabtthisacct]

Sth about the body language here tells me they're not together at least not dating...

 

[sydneybarrett]

I remember in Pride & Prejudice Elizabeth says something like "Our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask him nothing about it" and I feel like that applies to these two attention-seekers as well, if no one paid them any attention they would be spending time together 'cause they actually enjoy each other's company and I honestly doubt that's the case here.
But unfortunately their tactic is working 'cause I'm seeing comments like this:

What I imagine Niomi's face is like when she sees all these comments:

 

[Sheabutter]

He is an actual safety hazard

 

[Coldfeet]

View attachment 791352

He is an actual safety hazard

And that's how the countryside gets eroded sooooooooo fast. What a prize head!!

 

[sitkx]

Her trying to be coy in his stories is killing me Also, she MUST know that Joeeeey posted something on his stories so I’m sure she’s fantasizing about Joeeey throwing up and crying from jealousy while watching her and forky on their getaway

 

[Coldfeet]

When in reality Joeeeeey wakes up every day, thanking his lucky stars he made the break!!

 

[Mr.Mistoffelees]

Sex on Fire, Just Give me the Night, Get Down on It? Tell me you're trying too hard to let your followers know you're banging without telling me you're trying too hard...

 

[KissedaFrog]

Whether or not she and Forky are actually banging or if it’s just an attention-seeking scheme, I 100% believe that Niomi’s motivations lie with gaining Joe’s attention even moreso than that of her followers.

I find it so bizarre that after the break-up she spoke about how hard it was to go through that heartbreak publicly, and how she would like to be more private in the future… only to spam us with constant, blatant "hints" about a casual f**k-buddy mere months later. Like, even if it's not a publicity stunt and they're hooking up, there's no way they are serious or committed, as many of you have pointed out. When this arrangement that they have inevitably implodes and PTB is no longer getting shout-outs in her stories, she will again be facing public scrutiny and questioning.

So, what other motivation does she have? what could make it worthwhile for her? She wants DJ to get jealous and realise what he's "missing"…

 

[Chocolate2008]

Joe holding his toddler niece plus scooter is adorable!

 

[Sheabutter]

I was just about to say it’s the hottest thing ever. I bet a million girls are sliding into his DM’s

 

[milanolo]

Her trying to be coy in his stories is killing me Also, she MUST know that Joeeeey posted something on his stories so I’m sure she’s fantasizing about Joeeey throwing up and crying from jealousy while watching her and forky on their getaway
View attachment 791363View attachment 791365View attachment 791366

What Niomi thinks Joey is doing:

EXPECTATION

REALITY