Niomi Smart #21 I'm a YewChewber. I'm an Influenca.

[bump1212]

I might hate her because she’s a terrible person, but I do want her to get help. I’ve never had an eating disorder or known anyone that has, but I was addicted to heroin/opioids for 13 years (age 19-32, clean now for 6 months and 29 days I think? Something close), so I know what addictions/disorders can do to a person. She’s a piece of shit, but maybe if she got her life under control she’d be better; more well mannered and not so snobby, not so childish and immature... I can only hope, but I do hope she gets help. Her audience doesn’t need to see this and stupidly take her advice to heart and you know there are some people that do.

 

[mg95]

Her little giggle and Joe's facial expression? On this day? That was absolutely planned. And they know eyes are on their stories watching out for the two of them together. I don't know what it says about your relationship if you feel the need to throw shade at your partner's ex together... Even if she constantly makes a fool of herself on social media. The best revenge is living well etc etc right??

Also has Joe found a new job? Or does he just accompany Anna to places while she manages her influencers or ad campaigns or whatever adjacent-to-niomi-job she does?

 

[ellloellloo]

our guy living his life eating meat
at this point i definitely think they troll niomi

 

[bump1212]

@Mrs.Scamander you are awesome for taking time out to say that to me!!! And wow I didn’t even realize it’s 7 months tomorrow! Time is flying by but I’m doing great and am feeling so much healthier and proud of myself. I hope you’re proud of yourself too for taking time to say such a lovely and encouraging thing to someone you just know know from online. I fucking love this website

Nimoi could get lovely messages like this too if she would get help and start admitting she and her life aren’t perfect. She needs to admit this first and then she can take steps to being correcting and improving things. I doubt she will, sadly. She strikes me as narcisstic to the core, lazy as can be, and too snobby to admit she needs help.

@mindlessness this is awesome! You care enough as well to take time to write me that. I love you guys!!! I really mean that. I don’t need to know you in person to know you’re a good ass person. Have a great day/night my friend! I know I am now!!

 

[blairbish]

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AAAANNNDD she promptly responded with a work-related pic

Hey Anna! If you’re reading this, (we know you are) please go pay those underpaid interns and get a sunblock!

and Niomi is def not sloshed in the pictures. She just wants to appear that way. It’s a part of the whole “look at me guys, I’m carefree and fun” mission she has been on. She went from wannabe Kate Middleton to wannabe fun girl real quick. Her next personality will depend on her next man, so let

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AAAANNNDD she promptly responded with a work-related pic lmao



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It appears that he doesn't follow her anymore (I follow Joe), but she still follows him.

Hey Anna! If you’re reading this, (we know you are) please go pay those underpaid interns and get a sunblock!

and Niomi is def not sloshed in the pictures. She just wants to appear that way. It’s a part of the whole “look at me guys, I’m carefree and fun” mission she has been on. She went from wannabe Kate Middleton to wannabe fun girl real quick. Her next personality will depend on her next man, so let’s all wait and watch.

 

[triesherbest]

I had a dream Anna posted a story where she did some sort of Q&A, asking Joe questions and one of them was “have you ever been married?” and he said “almost” and they both laughed so much ..... omg I crave the tea

 

[Coldfeet]

Niomi not so smart- putting the “sus” in sustainable and “con” in content

I love this for a new thread title !

 

[lilamay]

That Dior bag she was flaunting is ridiculous. £2,950 and 1/3 of the bag's missing!

She has so many handbags too.

She's said before in an interview that living sustainably means 'really questioning whether you need that new item'... she needs to have a word with herself.

 

[hannah123]

Of course, when she makes it herself she doesn't have regular bread she has rye bread

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I swear she has orthorexia.

did anyone else go through a phase in 2015 where they’d eat things niomi recommended because you thought it was healthy? like random seeds and so much quinoa, but in conclusion, rye bread is stodgy, sticky slices of awfulness, just stick to warburtons

 

[Quaffleandsnitch]

at this point all 3 of them make me sick

(also, every time I see the title of this thread for some reason I read Chewbacca )

 

[Habsy123]

I had the weirdest fucking dream. It was a Saturday morning live cooking show and Joe was a guest. But he didn’t say anything, he just sat there and smiled when they introduced him. I was also wondering why the fuck he was on there and rushed to get onto Tattle and tell you all about it.

When I woke up this morning I was wondering for a minute if it was real.

What a sad life I have 🥲🥲🥲

 

[judgejohndeed]

Niomi is without question an unsympathetic character in this breakup story, but I feel the truffle sisters are bullying her and are encouraging bullying of her.

Wow, seriously? I hope Niomi doesn’t read this, this is not helpful to her at all. They are not bullying her, they are living their lives, and ones that don’t revolve around Niomi Smart. There’s a difference.

 

[Callan]

How is dreamy not a trigger word for her at this point???

She only knows about 50 words by heart.

 

[Pundertaker]

I've had a good think about and I've decided that men who routinely date women who are half the size of them must have really small cocks. The Woodward wood must be more of a twig.

 

[Hmagymoo]

Can’t help but think this was planned by both of them.. maybe that’s his response to her childish podcast remarks

 

[Farringdon]

I don’t think Joe would be aware of the posting him on Niomi’s birthday thing - that’s under the radar bitchiness that men don’t usually notice. And the type you can’t be called out on without the wide eyed innocent ‘I had noooo idea’

to me, it screams that Anna is feeling insecure about their relationship.

you’d never believe they were in their late 20s / 30s

Can just hear Harry Hill shouting ‘FIIIGHHHT’

I don’t blame her for being insecure. The wet wipe that is Joe can’t stick up for himself in relationships, career seems to be going down the pan and probably relied on daddy’s money and connections to take off in the first place. He only had the balls to break up with niomi when he knew he had someone else lined up, aka Ana. If he was committed and in love with her, the break up wouldn’t have been a surprise, because he’d have communicated his unhappiness because he’d have wanted to fix it.

he’s no catch at all. If either of these women had a modicum of good sense they’d see that, instead of directing petty, childish behaviour towards each other.

for all that I dislike Niomi, can’t help but feel in future Ana will have egg on her face when joey inevitably lets her down. And by that point she’ll probably deserve it.

 

[slamvs27]

I feel like with lockdown and being surrounded by a helicopter eating coach it was impossible for him to order/ takeout a burger or even make his own food at home, while for the first 3 years in the relationship he wasn't being restricted so he could handle her. After a year of not eating adequately, it would make anyone frustrated and fed up.

 

[mg95]

Funny that Anna works/has worked quite extensively in “influencer marketing” and niomi is an actual influenca.

have we established a connection between Ana-Joe-Niomi? I’ve read back a few threads but maybe I missed? Did Niomi introduce them?!

Nobody really knows but Anna used to follow both Joe and Niomi on Instagram during their relationship. After Niomi and Joe broke up, Joe started following Anna. Niomi either removed Anna from her follower list or Anna unfollowed Niomi herself. There's a fourth connection as well with one of Niomi's post-breakup hookups, Charl Malan, former cricketer (which is funny considering Joe's career in India). He also follows Anna and I believe she still follows him. These vapid rich kids all run in the same circle. And Raya.

xoxo gossip girl

 

[Mr.Mistoffelees]

So now Anna at Soho farmhouse too

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Okay, that's creepy. Didn't Niomi and Joe go there together at some point?

Edited to add: they went together on her birthday!



Are there multiple Soho farmhouses in the UK?

 

[Hannabeth_]

Pls post here!

What a waste...

Cheeky little soft launch panning shot