Niomi Smart #20 I’m on the right path, I manifested him in the bath

[LolitaBlah]

Thanks @judgejohndeed for the thread's name with 50 votes

I'm reposting this genius post by @PreciousVenus as a recap of the last thread... it's the most liked post and it made me wet myself

'Sustainability and conscious living is at the heart of everything I do' thought Niomi, as she drove back to her mega mansion in her gas guzzling land rover. 'Oh another package has arrived'. She unwraps twenty jars of peanut butter, double checking the back for palm oil before hiding the jars in a cupboard, never to be seen again. She moves to the bathroom to take her 7th bath of the day. 'I am helping so many people' she murmurs, trying to decide which of her founded plastic-encased skincare to use today, before plumping for Origins. 'Vitamin C is so sustainable, because it is fruit. That reminds me, I need to blend the fruit for dinner.' She moves into the kitchen and is scared by a loaf of bread.

Last thread link <3

 

[Callan]

Thank you for the new thread!

 

[QueenBW]

Do we think she'll do something exciting to be discussed in this thread? Or are we doomed to relive the glory days of smoothie bowl weather and languish in the land of badly applied red lipstick and bug sunglasses?

 

[Lovelettersandlace]

The return of this necklace... does it have... butt cheeks?

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

The return of this necklace... does it have... butt cheeks?

Yes, it's a naked yoga necklace. This one weirdly looks like a crucifix though...with a bare bottom?
Why does she have the worst taste?

 

[missmina]

Do we think she'll do something exciting to be discussed in this thread? Or are we doomed to relive the glory days of smoothie bowl weather and languish in the land of badly applied red lipstick and bug sunglasses?

There will be nothing as glorious as smoothie nowl weather. Ever.

 

[Lionsden]

Yes, it's a naked yoga necklace. This one weirdly looks like a crucifix though...with a bare bottom?
Why does she have the worst taste?

Because it was GIFTED. Anyway, it's by far the only tolerable piece from the Nude Alphabet pendant collection.

 

[Coldfeet]

Oooh, wonder if she'll post a video today???

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Because it was GIFTED. Anyway, it's by far the only tolerable piece from the Nude Alphabet pendant collection.

I wonder why she wasn't gifted the N, at least she didn't end up with the J...

 

[QueenBW]

Oooh, wonder if she'll post a video today???

She did! Just now... let's watch this fresh nonsense installment.

And we're off:

- Morning routine! She says it's getting coffee before 8 am and starting her yoga at 8. WHY would one do this if one has nowhere to be?
- Stroll around Portobello Road, naturally. She's "SO HAPPY", shows shops, shows coffee.
- Yoga montage with annoying, generic tinkling music and her usual showy poses.
- Speaking of her yoga online class: "Favorite studio in London", "I've missed it SO MUCH", "I love his practice, it is SO SO BEAUTIFUL" "Most incredible mindset", "Self-love, and doing these little practices for yourself is not being selfish, it is not being focused on you. It's to make you a better person for those around you." duck, she's dim and a narcissist. WHAT do you do for others around you, Nims? What even is your purpose in life? How did you make anyone's life better today?
- She wakes up early and goes on a walk so her body is warmed up and ready for the yoga. IT'S CALLED A WARMUP, NIMBOBS. "It comes with age, I used to be able to practice yoga at 7 am". WHAT BS IS THIS?
- Granola ad, but does not say it's an ad.
- Tiny bowl of granola with a splash of milk and a handful of berries. Sure sounds like enough food to sustain a grown woman allegedly trying to build muscle.
- Shows her silly magazines.
- She's going for ANOTHER walk at noon, she's dressed like a sister wife.
- Speaks about asking a bakery to slice bread for her for a good 2 minutes and FREEZE the sourdough slices, cause she can't finish them soon enough. See, guys? She does eat bread... it's not evil... except she has to ration it... so it is evil after all.
- Market footage.
- "LOOK AT THIS SOURDOUGH IT IS SO HUGE" she says of a perfectly normal-sized sourdough roll..
- Tofu scramble. Grilled tomatoes. Avocado on sourdough. "Kind of like brunch vibes". What sad brunches does she go to?!
- She went out to catch up with someone, didn't share footage of that, she was FREEZING wearing two jumpers so she ran home. The "downside" of being at restaurants now is that they're ALL OUTSIDE so, Ms Nimbobs Dimbobs is "miserable and cold." She's a miserable cow, period. She's miserable at restaurant terraces after being miserable at her parents' mansion, after being miserable in Joe and Freddie's apartment, after being miserable in India.
- BIG AD marked with a tiny AD on the left corner that could be covered by the Youtube stop bar, if you have your mouse over it. It's an ad for "soothing" bath products. With "dreamy" essential oils, "literally dreamy". The ad starts at 12 minutes and goes on for the REST of the video. So, a 32 minute "vlog" is actually a 20 minute ad. She spouts off nonsense about organic ingredients, bla bla, can't be arsed to listen to this.


Oh, and there were 8 Youtube ad breaks for me with this video. WTF.

 

[Mr.Mistoffelees]

Today's video is just a stupid #ad disguised as a "life update". Good thing to know what motivates our sustainable queen to do her job once in a blue moon.

 

[Nitfey]

Sometimes i wonder if she just needs a slap in the face so she can wake up from this absurdity and to pull herself together. Unfortunately I'm not in the same country

She did! Just now... let's watch this fresh nonsense installment.

And we're off:

- Morning routine! She says it's getting coffee before 8 am and starting her yoga at 8. WHY would one do this if one has nowhere to be?
- Stroll around Portobello Road, naturally. She's "SO HAPPY", shows shops, shows coffee.
- Yoga montage with annoying, generic tinkling music and her usual showy poses.
- Speaking of her yoga online class: "Favorite studio in London", "I've missed it SO MUCH", "I love his practice, it is SO SO BEAUTIFUL" "Most incredible mindset", "Self-love, and doing these little practices for yourself is not being selfish, it is not being focused on you. It's to make you a better person for those around you." duck, she's dim and a narcissist. WHAT do you do for others around you, Nims? What even is your purpose in life? How did you make anyone's life better today?
- She wakes up early and goes on a walk so her body is warmed up and ready for the yoga. IT'S CALLED A WARMUP, NIMBOBS. "It comes with age, I used to be able to practice yoga at 7 am". WHAT BS IS THIS?
- Granola ad, but does not say it's an ad.
- Tiny bowl of granola with a splash of milk and a handful of berries. Sure sounds like enough food to sustain a grown woman allegedly trying to build muscle.
- Shows her silly magazines.
- She's going for ANOTHER walk at noon, she's dressed like a sister wife.
- Speaks about asking a bakery to slice bread for her for a good 2 minutes and FREEZE the sourdough slices, cause she can't finish them soon enough. See, guys? She does eat bread... it's not evil... except she has to ration it... so it is evil after all.
- Market footage.
- "LOOK AT THIS SOURDOUGH IT IS SO HUGE" she says of a perfectly normal-sized sourdough roll..
- Tofu scramble. Grilled tomatoes. Avocado on sourdough. "Kind of like brunch vibes". What sad brunches does she go to?!
- She went out to catch up with someone, didn't share footage of that, she was FREEZING wearing two jumpers so she ran home. The "downside" of being at restaurants now is that they're ALL OUTSIDE so, Ms Nimbobs Dimbobs is "miserable and cold." She's a miserable cow, period. She's miserable at restaurant terraces after being miserable at her parents' mansion, after being miserable in Joe and Freddie's apartment, after being miserable in India.
- BIG AD marked with a tiny AD on the left corner that could be covered by the Youtube stop bar, if you have your mouse over it. It's an ad for "soothing" bath products. With "dreamy" essential oils, "literally dreamy". The ad starts at 12 minutes and goes on for the REST of the video. So, a 32 minute "vlog" is actually a 20 minute ad. She spouts off nonsense about organic ingredients, bla bla, can't be arsed to listen to this.


Oh, and there were 8 Youtube ad breaks for me with this video. WTF.

Your summary is for sure better than the video...and her life! Thank you

 

[judgejohndeed]

Getting up at 6am to go for a 1.5 hour walk when you don’t even have a job to get to is the least relatable thing I think I’ve ever heard tbh also it pains me seeing people who are rich and thin dress like garbage, I wish she would pay for a stylist. The hair remains an abomination. Can’t watch further, too bored - thanks @QueenBW for doing the lord’s work with your summary

 

[Silly Sausage]

Wow her hair! What an absolute mess!! I will never understand why people with good hair ruin it just to be blonde.

 

[earlgrey]

That video just reeks of someone who is SO BORED. Walking around aimlessly the same street because she has nothing else to do. Buying veg at the market even though apparently she doesn't need it. Going for a 1.5 hour walk waiting for a coffee shop to open. Followed by 60 mins of yoga, followed by another walk. Then "I'm going to have a bit of a pamper evening" which she says I think in every video.

I can't believe over half of the video is an advert.

 

[Silly Sausage]

A 12 minute vlog with a 20 minute AD

 

[Coldfeet]

And she doesn't understand her own mis matched outfut- a hot mess would fit!! She is sooooooooooo boring. A couple of hours of Zoom calls-job done.

Her crap food plate- big whoop.

She recommends everyone going for an hour's walk and then to do their one hour yoga. What planet is she on? Who does she imagine her audience to be????

 

[QueenBW]

@Nitfey @judgejohndeed I was clearly as bored as Niomi hahaha. But hey, only one of us should need to suffer through her nonsense, right?

@earlgrey It reeks of someone who is SO BORED and SO into a disordered eating pattern. She walked for about 3 hours, the 1.5 hour in the morning and then the afternoon one she didn't say how long it was but considered she bought a bunch of stuff and then she also probably walked to her dinner... And yeah, 60 minutes of yoga. And tiny portions all around, again didn't see her dinner but doubt she had a massive plate of anything, It's insane.

@Coldfeet Yep, I'd have to wake up at 4:30 am to do 1.5 hour walk, 60 min yoga, and a quick breakfast before work, and that's when I work from home.

 

[coriander]

I also got ED vibes from that vid. As much exercise as possible, as little food as possible. Who tf walks around by themselves for 1.5hrs at 6am just to get a coffee? Someone who feels like they need to earn their calories for the day.

 

[sweetbabymango]

She did! Just now... let's watch this fresh nonsense installment.

And we're off:

- Morning routine! She says it's getting coffee before 8 am and starting her yoga at 8. WHY would one do this if one has nowhere to be?
- Stroll around Portobello Road, naturally. She's "SO HAPPY", shows shops, shows coffee.
- Yoga montage with annoying, generic tinkling music and her usual showy poses.
- Speaking of her yoga online class: "Favorite studio in London", "I've missed it SO MUCH", "I love his practice, it is SO SO BEAUTIFUL" "Most incredible mindset", "Self-love, and doing these little practices for yourself is not being selfish, it is not being focused on you. It's to make you a better person for those around you." duck, she's dim and a narcissist. WHAT do you do for others around you, Nims? What even is your purpose in life? How did you make anyone's life better today?
- She wakes up early and goes on a walk so her body is warmed up and ready for the yoga. IT'S CALLED A WARMUP, NIMBOBS. "It comes with age, I used to be able to practice yoga at 7 am". WHAT BS IS THIS?
- Granola ad, but does not say it's an ad.
- Tiny bowl of granola with a splash of milk and a handful of berries. Sure sounds like enough food to sustain a grown woman allegedly trying to build muscle.
- Shows her silly magazines.
- She's going for ANOTHER walk at noon, she's dressed like a sister wife.
- Speaks about asking a bakery to slice bread for her for a good 2 minutes and FREEZE the sourdough slices, cause she can't finish them soon enough. See, guys? She does eat bread... it's not evil... except she has to ration it... so it is evil after all.
- Market footage.
- "LOOK AT THIS SOURDOUGH IT IS SO HUGE" she says of a perfectly normal-sized sourdough roll..
- Tofu scramble. Grilled tomatoes. Avocado on sourdough. "Kind of like brunch vibes". What sad brunches does she go to?!
- She went out to catch up with someone, didn't share footage of that, she was FREEZING wearing two jumpers so she ran home. The "downside" of being at restaurants now is that they're ALL OUTSIDE so, Ms Nimbobs Dimbobs is "miserable and cold." She's a miserable cow, period. She's miserable at restaurant terraces after being miserable at her parents' mansion, after being miserable in Joe and Freddie's apartment, after being miserable in India.
- BIG AD marked with a tiny AD on the left corner that could be covered by the Youtube stop bar, if you have your mouse over it. It's an ad for "soothing" bath products. With "dreamy" essential oils, "literally dreamy". The ad starts at 12 minutes and goes on for the REST of the video. So, a 32 minute "vlog" is actually a 20 minute ad. She spouts off nonsense about organic ingredients, bla bla, can't be arsed to listen to this.


Oh, and there were 8 Youtube ad breaks for me with this video. WTF.

Thank you for this!!! As expected, it's definitely not worth the watch so I ain't wasting 20 minutes of my life watching this bleeping boring twit talk about self-love when all she's done these past 9 months is take baths and eye bleeping the camera.