Nicola Bulley #12

[DellaC]

3 weeks.

Her poor family must be beside themselves.

We might have a difference of opinion on here but I think most of us would be delighted if she made it home. I bet if she did there'd be plenty of offers of specialist help and support.

I hope they can get some answers soon

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

So I'm not in any of the facebook groups but someone is sharing posts on twitter. They're about Paul, his alleged nickname and written by locals.
It was only a matter if time I suppose.
Sky news attempt at news this morning was something else, locals don't want them there.

I just had a quick look and there’s one person who has saved photos of N and the girls from her Facebook and is now posting them on his own public Twitter account! Children that are nothing to do with him!

(claiming that there’s a bruise on N’s neck and it’s a good job he’s saved the photo before the police made her profile private, like he’s doing some sort of civic duty ffs)

 

[EllsBellsWells]

Gobby number 2 is back

"In a strongly-worded attack, Mr Williams-Thomas criticised their decision to initially withhold details of missing mother Nicola Bulley's vulnerable state which seriously hampered the search for her - only to then leave her family in turmoil by revealing it after interest in the case had been allowed to mushroom."

Investigator says cops in Nicola Bulley probe committed 'failings'

In a scathing attack Mark Williams-Thomas rounded on Lancashire Police's handling of the probe into the mystery of what happened to the young mother while out walking her dog three weeks ago.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Would people mind sharing screenshots of articles instead of links please? Only cause it’s the click traffic (and advertising money) that makes these scummy papers behave like this. It’s tempting but if we didn’t click they wouldn’t make money off it and be rewarded for their journalists invading peoples private lives.

 

[BigMavis]

Don't like his blog, he's more or less saying emotions can be controlled and people who can't control them are lazy or don't want to change.
Did he think that when Nicola was going through stuff. Did he tell her these words of wisdom.
He was either ashamed to come out and say what was going on preferring to hide it or he was worried these details would change peoples perception (defensive attribution hypothesis) knowing "negative" details about a person absolutely changes perception.
I find the blog more concerning than the boobs if I'm honest. It also shows his need, desire, awareness of control.

 

[Squittel]

I don’t think anyone can promise that anyone devastated by Nicola’s disappearance will be fine you can have all the support and resources in the world, but if your mind is just not where it’s needed to be, you won’t be fine. I’m sure their family will provide absolutely everything they can to make sure the girls are ‘ok’, and hopefully they absolutely will be - but it’s not something that can be promised unfortunately.

You’re right. I was almost appealing to them and their family directly (although they would never read here!) When something has just happened it feels like nothing will ever be fine again, but day by day, month by month, year by year, things somehow do become fine. It’s a different fine, and not as happy a fine as before but it’s what you’ve got. I remember when by mum first died, I would stare out of the window waiting for her car to drive in the driveway, I waited for someone to tell me that it had all been an awful mistake and she was still alive, I’d wake up in the night calling out for her. If someone had told me then everything would be ok, I wouldn’t have believed them, but somehow you just continue and slowly things just… become fine, life doesn’t really give you a choice. Does that make sense?

 

[Wee Nora]

Psychics are absolute con artists. Why aren't they down at the police station so, solving all the unsolved murders? It doesn't work, it's never been proven to. If it had, they'd be used and taken seriously.
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They prey on vulnerable people

Still find it astounding that none of these psychics have won the euromillions yet.

 

[DellaC]

Is that who called @DellaC a dick yesterday?

Oh please don't talk about that. I still hyperventilate when I think back. Imagine an expert in the field of mental health trolling an absolute belter like me.

It's despicable

 

[teaandgoss101]

Long story, I have thought many times about posting this and haven’t but here goes, I will try and make it as short as possible.

After my divorce (we still remain great friends to this day) I was vulnerable when an ex from my teenage years contacted me, we started dating and basically he was very controlling, not from the offset, but by the end of the relationship I was unrecognisable mentally and physically. My ex-husband bless him was so worried he took me to my GP who gave AD’s and sent me for counselling, I was an absolute mess, also going through peri.
The ex partner who was controlling then started stalking me, texting me, also seen near my home which is down a dead end so it wasn’t by accident. My friends said I should report him so I did, the police came out and said he wasn’t breaking any laws (this was a while back now but I still think it was illegal to stalk) so I left it. Then I lost the plot one day and signed him up for stupid things online, including sending info on penis enlargement to his address, incredibly daft and childish I know but I’d had enough.
Next thing I have the Police at my door asking me if I was signing him up for things as he’d reported it to the police, I was so scared of being in trouble I denied it. Anyway they went to the bother of tracing it to my home and I explained I’d had enough of his behaviour and lost the plot. I was asked to sign a form stating I‘d stay away from him which I was happy to do and he had to do one too, which was all I wanted to be left alone by him. Next thing I have a woman texting me saying she’d dated him, he was an arsehole but he hadn’t stopped talking about me and she wanted to know how he treated me, all very odd. Anyway a week or so later the police ring me saying I need to stop contacting him or I’d be in serious trouble. I was still having counselling and burst into tears telling them it wasn’t me and they needed to find out who it was as I couldn’t stop something I hadn’t done. About a month later the police turn up at my home and arrest me. I’ve never been in trouble with the law in my life, not even a parking ticket. So off I go and have a police interview and they accuse me of sending all these texts to him which I hadn’t done and told them so, over and over again. My family were livid and ringing them up saying I was having counselling and they were very concerned for my MH etc. eventually that same day I’m released on bail. But as much as I felt traumatised/humiliated/embarrassed I thought at least now they will look into it thoroughly and find out who’s doing it and then know it wasn’t me.
A few weeks later a letter came through saying case was dropped but basically saying if I did it again I’d be in serious trouble. I was mortified, I hadn’t been cleared and I didn’t see it ever stopping, as well as still struggling with depression. So in the early hours with my girls in bed I thought I‘d take myself to a nearby railway line, as I couldn’t see any other way out of it, after all this is the police were talking about who have such power. As I was getting ready to leave I burst into tears, thinking how my heart broke and never recovered when my brother died when I was a child and I couldn’t do it to my girls, they are my absolute world, so I called a MH service who came out and sat with me. After they‘d gone I couldn‘t trust myself, so I booked somewhere to stay with our dog and my girls and we disappeared. I’m not sure who contacted the police but next thing they were trying to find me out of concern that I could harm myself. They rang my mobile asking me to just show myself at a nearby police station, I refused as I was terrified and didn’t trust them. Eventually a police woman higher up in the rank contacted me and I said I want this looked into to find out who is doing this otherwise I’m never going home and it was then that she told me they couldn’t, because my ex had gone into to different police stations each time only ever with screenshots of the messages, so they only had them to go on. She apologised and was shocked I’d been arrested on no hard evidence. After that he was then visited by them and told if he ever went to them again without handing over his phone to get proof he would be in serious trouble.
I could have taken my life over that and what is so upsetting the police officers who came out to my home never contacted my counsellor, or GP, even though they’d asked for that info to verify all he had done to me. To this day I don’t know if the woman who dated him and contacted me tried to set me up, or if he did it still trying to have control over my life.
So this case with NB and the previous police visit, although for a different reasons has really struck a cord with me and it breaks my heart to think she could also have been so stressed about the police incident and it tipped her over the edge.
As much as I still feel ashamed of myself for being arrested, I thought it important to share in case anyone else found themselves in a situation where they felt embarrassed/humiliated/ashamed and couldn’t face life, to let them know you’re not alone and things do get better.
I was also referred to the woman’s refuge for advice and they were wonderful, they weren’t surprised by my story and said they had many similar in regards to policeman not believing women and look what’s come out about how female police are treated in the force by some of the men.
So sorry for the long winded post.

Edit Just wanted to add this is not an attack on All, or Lancs Police because as many will know on this thread I’ve defended them, as I know not all police are the same. Although I do disagree with them making NB’s struggles with alcohol public knowledge.

It doesn’t surprise me. I know someone whose husband at the time threw boiling kettle over himself and told the police she did it.

He had mentally broke her down and the police believed him

Why ? Because he had a mistress! She was made to move out and had to acccess her children through a contact centre. All
The while he moved the mistress in …. The lies went on for a very long time but cleverly she put her half of the house in her kids name until they were grown up so he couldn’t sell when the divorce was finalised. So he couldn’t move away

The abuse didn’t stop tho! But the lies caught up when he reported her to the police for harassing him in the street but at the time she was on cctv in work.

You would think right police see sense give the kids back to mum ? Nope …. Judge ruled the kids were settle and should remain in then house with the dad to avoid further distress. Left with an absolute psycho who scared himself for life to get what he wanted ? But apparently he showed no threat to the children.
I mean to say he broke her down mentally - she said at one point he even convinced her she was mental to the point she actually questioned herself did she throw the kettle over him. Even tho she never but men that are that level of psycho will make you question yourself.
Poor women had a breakdown and ended up on suicide watch in hospital.

I wouldn’t trust any man as far as I can throw him tbh!

 

[Futtrit]

Are you saying I'm not deserving of an opinion on this case or place in this thread because of the field I work in? Why are you policing what I can share and comment on?

What I AM sharing are facts. Yes, facts based on reliable data and statistics.

I never said menopause isn't severe. I never said women don't suffer. I'm not invalidating anyone's experience. I believe my comments have triggered you and you ought to take a step back and breathe for a minute before responding.

The media is doing what it's always done for years, using mental illness to scare people. To instil fear.

Perhaps you can refer me to the online study you've been a participant in? Primary Care services have introduced the aforementioned menopause-specific measures. I'm sorry you've not had the help you so need.

Were you also using your Mental Health expertise when you called someone on this thread a dick?

 

[EllaBella89]

I actually feel so bad for Nicola. Small villages and towns where everyone knows your business aren’t the most forgiving of places, and I can imagine the particularly nosy mothers at school gossiping about her and she must have felt terrible. Look at that comment about her going on a bender. People can be so judgemental and cruel.

 

[kenners]

Perimenopause has been brutal for me and I’m not even being slightly dramatic when saying that if it wasn’t for HRT and a private diagnosis and support, I wouldn’t be here. For anyone struggling, give Dr Louise Newson a follow on Instagram. She’s bloody amazing.

On another note, I’ve followed these threads for a while now and found them to be informative and supportive. The care and concern for Nicola and her poor family has been incredible. Until this evening, that is.

It doesn’t sit comfortably with me to read what some users have been sharing in regards to Nicola’s partner. The threads state to be mindful of what we write here as to not add further upset and distress to the family and this is being flouted in a horrifying way. I sincerely hope Nicola’s daughters are never alerted to this. This kind of utter nonsense makes the thread lose a lot of credibility, sadly. I too am now dipping out. I hope with all my heart that Nicola is found safe and well

 

[Futtrit]

Is this the young person’s equivalent of the top shelf magazines and the potting shed?

"Top shelf magazines and the potting shed"

Name of the difficult second album

 

[Jwren]

A few things that have been going around in my head. I can only think Paul was also out somewhere on that Thursday evening when Nicola asked her parents if they could look after the girls a bit longer, otherwise why couldn’t he. So was he up late that morning and the reason for him being a bit vague about that day. Also I thought Nicola‘s father said something along the lines of ….we need our children more than ever now we are getting older, I’m sure he didn’t mean it in a detrimental way but just because someone is elderly doesn’t give them a free pass. It makes me wonder if Nicola was put upon by Paul and her parents to some degree when she was really struggling to cope herself.
Many men don’t understand when a mother is looking after the children, working, housework, cooking…. and the partner is as laid back as Paul suggested he was, when it comes to sex women can feel very used and lose interest (which doesn’t go down well with some men) as well as a woman being sore often because of hormone changes (although there are some gels/creams/pessaries that can really help). Unfortunately they don’t have a gel, cream or pessary that stops a partner being a w sadly.

 

[RinsedHoops]

Reading between the lines with the family's statement it seems they support the police's decision to release the information about Nicola because of the online speculation as well as the threats to sell stories.
The statement also seems to be supportive of Paul in my opinion. They're pleading with people to stop speculating about their life and relationship.

 

[puddleduck]

Ohhh blimey, that's Paul being younger but greyer, you could see he dyed his hair at the beginning, some were saying that his bruises were from botox which I thought a tad extreme. I have an instant distaste for men who dye their hair I'm afraid. So who has discovered the big booby luvers tiktok? I did once catch Mr Merton looking rather brown in our early days and discovered he sneaks in for a quick tan now and then

If I could message her - Nikki - Damn girl if you are out there, you know that you have a bed at so many tattlers houses waiting for you this weekend, I'll pop a disco ball in the window, sneak round the back luv. This can all be sorted out yet.

My thoughts to those poor wee girls and her parents tonight, the weekends must be harder without school routine.

I was just thinking the same... grab those girls somehow and get over here. He will never find you.
However I guess it would be too difficult with your name everywhere.
Not to sound like one of those bull sitting crystal ball loonies but I do feel she is out there somewhere, or maybe it's just hope.
It's women for women isn't it?
Despite all the crap, not one person on these threads has said a single negative thing about Nicola. We have your back lady.

 

[poultonlefylde]

I made a mistake of checking Nicola Bulley Case channel on YouTube again but these comments are shocking. Surely this is harassment?

That weirdo seems have lot of time in his hands for checking the area and 'investigating'. Also liking comments about psychic readings etc . Unfortunately other people are commenting and encouraging him on.
I wish these people will get on with their lives and leave police to do their job. More importantly I wish they would leave NB's family in peace.

I would also like to say how much I appreciate people on these threads being respectful in their comments even if they don't agree with someone's opinion. Tattle gets bad press but truly most tattlers are kind and lovely people

 

[freaknasty]

Never would’ve guessed that one, great detective work there.

 

[Toffeebythesea]

This broke me. Her poor parents. As a parent myself, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain they are in at the moment. The not knowing must be overwhelming.

I feel that the message today came from them. Especially as they put "daughter" at the front of the list. I'm glad they're able to have a voice either separate or alongside Paul. I'm glad the girls have a good support network around them. And most importantly i am still praying that somehow she returns home alive and safe.

 

[RinsedHoops]

While Paul's online behaviour is embarrassing I think that trying to make out there's something wrong with him liking a generic post by a popular influencer making a statement about how we shouldn't sexualise children is really unpleasant and damaging.
He has young daughters and it's likely he's all they have left.

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Where has Ashley James got the ‘can’t earn more than your partner’ thing from? Is she referring to something else? Certainly an opportunity to brag.

Yes it’s her latest thing, shaming her partner
---

Oh god, isn’t this the awful woman who messaged members of tattle threatening them?

Yes
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My personal opinion is that Ashley James isn’t worth any more airtime in Nicola’s thread