Nicola Bulley #12

[InTheDollsHouse]

What an amazing person you are Thank you for this

Thank you, but honestly I’m not. I’m just a mum who felt that this could so easily be me. I have two children, I walk the dog when they’re at school and childcare.

I said quite early on in all of this that if I disappeared tomorrow my mental health struggles would be assumed as the reason, but that wouldn’t be it. I wouldn’t want everyone to give up on me and just assume the worst.

None of us know what’s happened to Nicola. We may never know. Frankly it’s not even our right to know.

As long as her loved ones get the answers, that’s what matters.

Tattle threads won’t change that, but this little corner of the internet brings people together in such an amazing way.

The information in the recaps is only really collated by me, it’s everyone here that contributes to it. The support and the shared experiences over these 12 threads has made people - including me - feel less alone and that’s no small thing. I’ve got far more out of it than I’ve put in.

Tattle gets slated by influencers but that’s because they don’t understand the kindness here

 

[whatisityoucan'tface]

Is that dog having a shit?

Legit the only time I've laughed reading this thread

Good dog

 

[Dotty Merton]

Ohhh blimey, that's Paul being younger but greyer, you could see he dyed his hair at the beginning, some were saying that his bruises were from botox which I thought a tad extreme. I have an instant distaste for men who dye their hair I'm afraid. So who has discovered the big booby luvers tiktok? I did once catch Mr Merton looking rather brown in our early days and discovered he sneaks in for a quick tan now and then

If I could message her - Nikki - Damn girl if you are out there, you know that you have a bed at so many tattlers houses waiting for you this weekend, I'll pop a disco ball in the window, sneak round the back luv. This can all be sorted out yet.

My thoughts to those poor wee girls and her parents tonight, the weekends must be harder without school routine.

 

[Wee Nora]

Some comments on social media are really riling me up. As far as I’m concerned it’s nobody’s ambition in life to become reliant on alcohol. It was obviously a coping mechanism for Nicola and we don’t know what she was going through with her health or in her private life. People actually rot me
Seems like she was only worthy of sympathy and concern when she was the “perfect” hard working mother with the nice lifestyle.

 

[Toffeebythesea]

Pommy and Martha, I just found it on twitter didn't save it sorry. The post was screenshots from a private fb group, a local (allegedly) said his nickname was Pissy Paul and made other claims about his/their personal life.
Whatever has gone on here, Mr Ansells account of perfect family life wasn't accurate and things had been toxic. Both himself and Nicola appear to have worked hard on that image.

It's here, I've blanked out names etc

 

[Facehugger]

Just caught up. This all makes me sad, whatever she was going through in private (that should have been able to stay private IMO) she might have felt totally well and good that morning she disappeared, the family have said there were no causes for concern when she left.

Another one here who suffered dreadfully for nearly 4 years in menopause, another who can't have HRT for numerous reasons. People label it as heavier periods, hot sweats, lack of libido etc but for those that suffer, it can be horrendous.

Hair falling out.
Teeth going weak/brittle and moving.
Painful joints.
Brain fog is real - forgetting every day words for things.
No energy and persistent tiredness.
Bladder/pelvic floor issues. Even loose bowel issues.
Dry eyes and skin.

All which will make a woman feel horrendous and when you know you just have to battle it out till it's done with, you're at an all time low, especially if you still have a family to look after and job to do.

My bestie suffered terribly when his ex was going through peri. He's been thrown down the stairs, had hairspray put in his eyes, car windows smashed, clothes ripped up and burnt, hot fat out a chip pan thrown at him, he's no pussy and he's the loveliest person but he broke, could do no more to help & had to leave for his own safety. It's a double edged sword, not just ladies that suffer.

I'm glad this thread has turned into such a support for many, it's nice to see when often Tattle is labelled as a site full of cloven hoofed folk.

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Gobby number 2 is back

"In a strongly-worded attack, Mr Williams-Thomas criticised their decision to initially withhold details of missing mother Nicola Bulley's vulnerable state which seriously hampered the search for her - only to then leave her family in turmoil by revealing it after interest in the case had been allowed to mushroom."

Investigator says cops in Nicola Bulley probe committed 'failings'

In a scathing attack Mark Williams-Thomas rounded on Lancashire Police's handling of the probe into the mystery of what happened to the young mother while out walking her dog three weeks ago.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Oh yes. Mark Whata-Twat.
Absolutely no turmoil caused by you then?

 

[kata420]

"Think With Paul". "W**k with Paul" would have been more authentic.
---

I almost feel sorry for the poor guy now. If he's not being accused of murdering, we're saying he couldn't be the murderer, not because he has too much integrity.... but because he's too thick! As well as being a perv and a massive bellend

At least now we know how he spends his ‘quiet hour’ to himself each morning.

 

[pommobear]

I just want to make the point that IMO there's no such thing as "a normal mum". All families have dysfunctions, whether you think yours does or not, everyone's does because nobody was raised perfectly and I can pretty much guarantee none of us are raising our own kids perfectly either - it's impossible. Not even really such a thing as "good mum" or a "bad mum" either (aside from the very obvious bad mums which I feel doesn't need much explanation) - I think 99% of us are just out here doing the best we can but doing an imperfect job, and at the end of the day all we are are human beings who happen to be mothers, there's no normal or abnormal about it.

 

[theleagueofgentlemen]

I’ve been following these threads from the start and honestly, what a lovely, supportive bunch you all are. Makes me proud to be a Tattler!
My own theory on all of this though? I think she’s done this before tbh. That’s why I think the family are saying ‘come home or reach out’

 

[50sGirl]

Jesus if someone goes missing do they read you and your partners dirty messages? That’s horrifying!

If I went missing and they read the messages my husband sends it would be mainly “What’s for dinner?”
The police would say “No wonder he killed her, bloody Turkey Twizzlers** again! That poor man, she drove him to it!”

** disclaimer, I’ve never eaten nor served Turkey Twizzlers in my life!

 

[kata420]

I know most men like to look at pretty ladies, I get that.

But as a woman who is the same age as Nicola and is at a similar point in my menopause, I can honestly say this would mess with my head. I'm not remotely a jealous person, I've been with my hubby for 20 years and I trust him Implicitly. But him looking at all these beautiful, 'perfect', young ladies would bring out some insecurities.

I am similar age too and also have a long term non-husband and kids.

If I found this stuff on Mr Kat’s social media, I would be totally messed up. I would probably drink heavily at first and then eventually say f this and leave.

I actually can’t believe it’s public. Men are dopes but this is a bit too seedy to pass off as ok. Bleugh.

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Just thinking about yesterday’s statement again.

It came from the police, saying they informed the family.

Now we know Mr Whata-Twat basically forced their hand, and as awful as it is I do think on balance it’s the best way (IMO) for it to have come out rather than whatever disgusting spin the press would have put on it had they been the ones to run with it first.
(Obviously I wish it hadn’t had to come out at all)

The statement was rushed, that’s clear. It could have been worded far more sensitively. They were trying to beat the press and they were under pressure.

But… I wonder if the fact it was from the police with the family informed was deliberate so that, if Nicola is reading it somewhere, she doesn’t feel that her family have betrayed her by sharing her secrets with the nation. It was the police, not her loved ones. They were informed, not asked.

It makes me feel a teeny bit better to think like that, and it does make sense after the family’s statement today - they did that via the police, which they wouldn’t have done if that relationship had broken down.

 

[karmadrama]

The more time goes on and the more things come to light, I can’t help but think there’s a lot we don’t know about Paul. And not good things either. After seeing his tiktok following list and his Pinterest, and also that website of his I just feel like there’s a lot of arrogance there. Or something. I can’t quite put my thoughts into words with this one, it’s all a bit odd.

 

[Avenged7Fold]

Two things I want to say before I think about doing some chores.

1) @Tangerine Cat

2) HRT…. Well I have made a right song and dance about HRT. Didn’t want to go down another pharmaceutical route as I try my hardest to stick to supplements etc. BUT… my menopause was just dragging me down. Hot flushes, aches, pains, bloating but the actual worse one of all is the brain fog. I’ve actually wondered if I’d got dementia and I still do as my memory, clarity, understanding and organisational skills have just gone. It really is horrid. So I’m giving it another go. I haven’t seen any improvement yet. The only side effect is really painful boobs, very similar to pre-menstrual or when breast feeding. Not nice at all we I’ll just try for a few months and see.

You could be me. My life changed when I became peri menopausal. It coincided with my Mum being diagnosed with dementia and my GP had to convince me I wasn’t going the same way. Some nights I had 2 hours sleep, I was in total meltdown. HRT helped but I was only allowed to be on it for two years due to risks. Some days I could quite easily have run away from home.
I’m still forgetful and have days of terrible brain fog, who knows if I’ll develop dementia in the future.

If Nicola felt this way, then she has my absolute sympathy. I hope she’s in hiding somewhere, but the longer she’s away, the less likely it seems.

 

[Usagisakura90]

I'm gonna totally out myself here.


I did find that Mr Toffee followed some very similiar accounts on Instagram last year. I kicked him out and told him I didn't know if we had a future. Yes you may think that's dramatic but that's how strongly I felt about it.

It's taken a LOT of time and healing for us to move forward but it totally messed with my head. As I said to him, if we didn't have children together I probably would have ended the relationship.

Not meaning to derail or looking for sympathy, I know some people may think that's too dramatic or some people may think I'm a push over. That's ok. Believe me it's not been easy. I know it's just social media but it really does effect you and your confidence.

He said he "just didn't think". maybe that's Paul's reasoning too. Either way IMO it's disrespectful.

I don't think it's dramatic at all, My relationship with my ex was 10 years ago so before tiktok but they had these types of girls on Facebook and he would follow them and get into chat conversations with them which always escalated somewhere naughty.

Its bad enough seeing that your partners followed these kind of accounts, so I can't imagine how Nicola would of felt with what she was going through if she knew about the accounts he followed.

When my ex did what he did I'd given birth and I was alot bigger than what I'd been post baby and he was following all these slim gym bunny girls, it was destroying to see in that state.

 

[BigMavis]

I think MWTs and Fauldings response to Nicolas personal circumstances indicates they didn't care about her at all, they've used her situation to draw attention to themselves, for self promotion, profit and in MWTs kicking the police in the nuts.
Both are totally disgusting.

 

[Sophie80]

Lack of sleep is a complete killer. During lockdown myself & my husband lost our jobs and I became very anxious. My sleep was the number one thing affected - I literally could not sleep and I developed head/body shakes and tingling in my face. I ended up on medication and having two brain scans. It was terrifying and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, let alone dealing with the other symptoms Nicola had on top of that.

My Husband and Friends were incredible. My kids are older than Nicola’s so could understand a bit more but they were very scared.

 

[pommobear]

As if Paul has a Pinterest board full of sexy women marked "hot" from 9 months ago under his real name . Does he not realise people can see it?

Sorry but a man that slow witted would not be able to commit murder and not leave any evidence behind.

 

[DellaC]

I don't think the police have done anything with bad intent. The speculation and over involvement in this case has been unprecedented. We can all agree to that surely. People approaching properties, glory hunters, selfies on the bench and peoplethreatening to go to the papers. It's been crazy and you know what, the team have dealt with it as they see fit. Not always getting it right in our eyes as onlookers but we really don't know the full extent.

Even after yesterday's very clear, very precise press conference we've had some posts in here today speculating that Paul murdered her. Now I do think that's fishing rather than serous belief BUT other people may not.

The menopause and drinking statement was poorly worded and it seemed rushed. Well now we know that they had to do it because Mark Williams Twatmas threatened to expose it himself.

My anger is towards the journalists and the newspapers. They're a bunch of cretins, picking pieces of this sorry tale in order to sell their rags and they're absolutely fanning the fire in terms of confidence in the police dealing with this.