Nicola Bulley #12

[puddleduck]

Well I just want her to turn up in some old persons house, where there's no television and no internet or newspapers, wrapped in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate.
Old person saying she's not to worry and stay as long as she wants and they'll sort it all out when she feels better.
Poor, poor Nicola. My heart hurts for her, alive or otherwise.

 

[BigMavis]

Paul likes young women who aren't struggling with the menopause. Fight me.

 

[Luna~k]

I really hope she's alive too but I can't work out where she might be hiding or how she would have survived this long or even how she could have left the area unseen.

My Dad is Alcohol dependent, has been for as long as I can remember when I was young I can remember him disappearing for days sometimes weeks at a time and we never knew where he was, it turned out he had a friend we didn’t know about who was also alcohol dependent and they’d buy loads of alcohol and sit drinking in this friends flat losing days. My Mum stopped calling the police after the first few times as he’d always be furious and if I’m totally honest as much as I love him when he disappeared we had a bit of normality for a short while.

Since they released the news about Nicola’s struggles I’ve wondered if she also has a drinking friend she’s not linked online to in any way, she’s maybe gone with them thinking she’ll only be a short while and ended up losing a few days, when she‘s come round and realised what’s happened she’s horrified/mortified by all the press and is lying low until things calm down.

I know people say she wouldn’t have left Willow but I know from experience if someone has become dependent on alcohol it will always come first, I’ve no doubt in his own way my Dad loves me but I’m also fully aware if he had the choice of saving me or a bottle of whiskey, the whiskey would win every time.

 

[MeghanSnarkle]

Guys I think maybe there is a middle ground here that's being over looked .

Nicola seems to be a great mum, wife and daughter .
we do know that in the past she had significant issues around alcohol as the family have bravely let that be known so no she wasn't perfect or innocent she's just HUMAN .
I think things had clearly got difficult again recently the drinking had crept back in the official visit to her home does confirm that but she was still getting up each day and trying her best for her girls so let's keep a bit of perspective .

 

[SnowFairy88]

I really suspect Paul is a controlling narcissistic abusive partner and is making Nicky out to look “unstable” and “crazy” because that’s what Narcs do. He could even have called the police on her on 10th Jan as Narcs like to use authority figures as a way of controlling/abusing their victims. Speaking from my own personal experience with my ex-narc fiancé I see a lot of similarity. It was bad enough at times that I can imagine having taken myself off somewhere and done something bad

 

[Hold my beans]

Who knows what was going on at home but with recent revelations it doesn't sound like it was the perfection that was first painted.

I really hope 'drinking because of the menopause' wasn't put out there by a controlling, manipulating husband rather than, god forbid, any light be shone on him being a dick and making her life unbearable.

 

[DellaC]

I don't think that's him, doesn't look like him at all

Paul is that you love?

 

[Elbow80]

The fact that he follows an account called “the big tittie committee” tells me all I need to know!

 

[50sGirl]

It’s a shame Nicola’s friends and Faulding courted the media so much. Had it got the usual coverage that a misper gets then this would have dropped out of the headlines after a week or so and we’d have never been privy to her mental state.

It also makes sense now why Fairysteps didn’t return and say why the locals thought she wasn’t in the water. It must have been awful for the locals to have their small village overrun by the media, wannabe heroes and internet sleuths when they knew there was more to the story than the public was being told.

It’s a mess all round.
I now understand why Nicola’s parents and sister have been so quiet, other than the initial press conference. They were trying to avoid the shit show that this has become and protect their daughter so, if she was still out there, she’d feel safe to come home.
IF Nicola is still out there, I dread to think what recent developments would do to her mental health.
I feel for her and her family.

 

[Lady_H]

@InTheDollsHouse your work on these threads is truly amazing. Thank you!

 

[lattenosugar]

I am just going to share a perspective from a DV background and personal experience on this.

I think IF there is foul play involved.. there is a lack of evidence to convict anyone. Like the phill pots it took a long time and the police had to wiretap their house to get a recorded confession.

The drinking and menopause seems to me like with the river and left items and willow is a distraction and everyone is now focused on that now.

I don’t agree with the specific vulnerabilities shared by the police as I think it causes more speculation.

NB isn’t able to defend herself either on this and during the press conference quote it was what Paul told them during the initial call.

So now I am seeing on a lot of social media speculation that NB was drunk during the morning of her disappearance and may of fell in the river, this despite being able to drop her children to a primary school “in a tight knit community, walking her dog, driving, sending emails and messages. As paul saw her that morning and let her take their children in a car driving to school but felt it was relevant during the intitial call to mention alcohol straightaway?

I can only suspect with the disclosure of the “welfare call” that the police go on to say is still under investigation with no arrests. Strikes me as not a standard crisis call.

With his behaviour, his friends wife Tilly Ann’s facebook statuses being edited and stating incorrect information, his other friend Emma whites go fund me on missing day 8 of £100,000, financial issues, amount changing 3 times then closed, and overall how this man fits the narrative every time sending voice notes to journalists, the hello magazine type photo shoot for channel 5. I just find it all very bizarre and have said it from the start. Mirroring the sister at the beginning, Inconsistencies like praising the police in interviews and saying a happy home life, but to Peter faulding and the police, a different opinion.

it just doesn’t make sense to me that there is so much fueling the fire by him or his friends and then they get upset because people then find him suspicious. Maybe stop fueling speculation perhaps? To memory I have never seen so much involvement in a missing persons like this one with the partner and their friends. Not the speculation but the amount of media presence and social media done by them.

Whether there is foul play here, in my opinion he shows a lot of red flags and whether she has disappeared intentionally or not he has something to do with it in my opinion. There are just so many red flags.

I couldn’t feel like the actual family of NBher parents showed nothing but turmoil and heartbreak during their appeal. And have kept a dignified silence

 

[Dont swipe up!]

Must say ladies (and gents ) out of all outlets I have read regarding Nicola ,tattle has come up trumps for being so mindful and respectful and a real lovely place to be
Reading people’s worries about menopause and others sharing experiences and helping put some minds at ease has just been the nicest thing to read
I’m 39 and think early symptoms and signs are happening
So thank you tattle
Thank you for being the place I chose to come back to over and over again over any other social news outlet

Nicola I pray for your safe return home
Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed
Take your time
Just please let your babies know your well that’s all I want you to do
We are all here waiting for you with open arms

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

I’m only in my early thirties and I had no idea the menopause could be like this I just expected it to be like a bad period (I have hot flushes when I’m on), so thank you to everyone that’s shared bits of information I appreciate it x

 

[90sGal]

Haven't posted since this morning as still raging from this victim blaming of she was an alcoholic menopausal woman...

She isn't missing because she is going through the menopause

She isn't missing because she has some alcohol 'vulnerablities'

She is missing because something has happened to her that morning.

And now it's a bun fight with media and her family and so called experts.

She is still missing.

Children are without their mum.

But let's all use our energy to victim blame and completely and utterly discredit someone we are meant to be looking for.

Gosh what a few weeks it's been.

(Anyone struggling with menopause symptoms please do have a look at Dr Newsons resources on line. I waded through peri menopause thinking I had dementia. Seeking help was a first step and it's helped. Don't suffer. Use the menopause checklist that all GPS are now encouraged to use as a way of confirming peri menopause rather than the out dated blood test. And please don't let this damaging language used by the police and the media make you fear menopause, or prevent you from seeking help for the bumps in the road of life)

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

None of us here know what was happening for Nicola.
None of us here know what their family life was like.
None of us here know whether their girls were even at home during the police and healthcare welfare visit.
None of us here will have any impact on the search, the outcome, the family.

All of us here have different life experiences.
All of us here have different emotional reactions to things.
All of us here have different opinions. And that’s okay. But we will have an impact on the other people reading.
This is so emotive, for different reasons for each person.
Some people will feel anger; some upset; some confusion; some shame; some fear. There will be so many other emotions.

It’s hard in the midst of emotions to remember that we’re all here for the same reason - because we looked for others to make sense of this with

 

[bunnybeee]

View attachment 1968709

I'm sorry but this is the thing that has made me say 'WOW' the most out of all this. I haven't seen any Tattlers respond to this screenshot yet? Have you all googled the lyrics to this song? And please watch the music video on YouTube. What on earth?? I can see its a long way back, in Jan 13 but still.

The liking of Barrymore (drowning) and Caroline Flack (suicide after police investigation) is mental too.

I'm really starting to think she actually has left on her own accord. I know that's hard to understand when she has 2 beautiful children, but I have been ground down by a relationship with a man who seems a lot like Paul. I left my family for a week and drove hundreds of miles away. Some might not see it as much, but the messaging of young women on Linkedin, the TikTok follows (one as young as 17), the Pinterest account, the attitude on his blog about people who have emotions, all point towards the likelihood he's a twat of a man. There she is, middle aged, trying her best to keep up her appearance, raise children, work, keep a nice home...and that's how he repays her? He's the type that doesn't want to leave her, wants to keep her there to suit him, but then subjects her to mental torture. And those are the things we know of - I expect she knew a hell of a lot more, and I expect the toxic relationship is what drove her to the alcohol, and ultimately to leave.

Sorry if people think I'm jumping to conclusions and making massive assumptions, but it's only because everything I'm seeing basically mirrors my life - down to the alcohol, the leaving etc. I'm the same age, kids same age, similar lifestyle, similar husband. Men like this send you demented. And its easy to say why not just divorce then and live separately with the girls. I don't want to out myself by going into more detail but I can honestly understand why she would see this as the only option. I can't believe how much my life mirrors hers. God bless you Nicola - I wish you could see how many people love and support you.

 

[Jwren]

What Paul chooses to do on social media really has zero to do with this case. Most men look at young women online! It's not news. His age is irrelevant, they will still look at 18 year olds. That's just the way it is. Doesn't mean he doesn't care about Nicola/doesn't respect her etc etc.

I don’t disagree with most of what you’re saying but following numerous big busted, blonde females so publicly to me isn’t respecting your partner but that’s just my opinion. I doubt a man would think their partner following numerous accounts of semi naked men was no big deal.
I think it’s sad some see it as no big deal partners ogling/fantasising and so publicly over numerous other women. I feel women are being seen more and more these days as just objects to pleasure men. We’re going backwards not forwards where women’s rights are concerned and it doesn’t help with so many influencers and celebs using their bodies to gain attention (and let’s face it that’s all some of them have ) and I think it‘s risks females safety. As some men don’t seem to realise social media is not real life and think all women are game.
I want better for my girls and all women but maybe that’s just me that feels that way.

 

[Longtimelurker10]

I just want to say this, I’m new to these threads, followed the news etc but ofc this is more informative and reliable.

I have to say everyone has been SO respectful and kind, even when I’ve asked things that may seem stupid because I hadn’t read all other threads. So thank you all.

 

[DellaC]

I know most men like to look at pretty ladies, I get that.

But as a woman who is the same age as Nicola and is at a similar point in my menopause, I can honestly say this would mess with my head. I'm not remotely a jealous person, I've been with my hubby for 20 years and I trust him Implicitly. But him looking at all these beautiful, 'perfect', young ladies would bring out some insecurities.

 

[Boring Monday]

Who got mark williams thomas involved?

Mark Williams-Thomas.