Oh God, no, not another Disney-fest coming our way. I can't take any more cutesy little dresses, skipping about, gurning at the phone, stuffing cheeseburgers into her face whilst wiggling, getting surprised by friends and family, showing off a hotel which happens to be free, dancing beneath the big ball of joy - WHY CAN'T SHE HAVE A NORMAL HOLIDAY? You know - a cone of chips in wind and rain, a seagull nicking your ice-cream, the hotel room being right over a disco, family bickering, car breaking down and somebody being sick after eating a pasty?