New baby / post birth advice

[Tui]

No one has said it’s bad thing to want to be someone else other than Mum it’s also not a bad thing that all you want to be is Mum. Everyone’s different we should just support each other.
personally I’m just Mum and one day I’ll be something else again, I’m happy and that’s all that matters not what other people think about that

on a different note this mum had spent the last 2 hours crying as I’ve been up feeding since midnight my nipples are now so painful I don’t want baby anywhere near them I just want sleep, it’s been like this for a week and I know it’s normal but with a toddler too look after I’m really running on empty. I can’t see an end to the tiredness yet rationally I know it does end!

How old is your baby? I found feeding so incredibly painful at first. Am only 4 weeks in so it could happen again. I got temporary relief from cool compresses, I have the Lansinoh thera Pearl pads from the freezer which gave temporary relief but I’ve heard even using a nappy with cold water poured in it can help! Put it in your bra.
I think women who manage a newborn and a toddler are superheroes

 

[Bae56]

Ladies what prams/travel systems do you have for your little ones and how much did you pay? I'm due in July and just started looking for a pram and there's just too much choice!

Silver Cross Wave. It wasn't the one I planned but once I pushed it it's so sturdy, I felt safer with it. The design changed slightly a couple of years ago, it's a little lighter (the original was heavy for some people) I've honestly not found it heavy in the slightest & I'm a weakling. It was expensive but worth it, converts to a double which is great as I unexpectedly fell pregnant quickly.

I used Joie igemm infant carrier initially. Infant carriers are perfect for transporting a sleepy newborn from car to pram. Got universal adapters for the pram to fit the carrier on the chassis. The hood is giant on this so I never needed a rain cover for it, just a footmuff as I had winter babies. It's very padded and secure.

I use Joie 360 now for them. I'd recommend a swivel chair no matter the brand. It makes life easier especially as they get bigger and heavier. Even with this it was hard getting a toddler in the seat with a huge bump.

 

[StrawberryCream]

Hey I wasn't sure whether to make a separate thread or just post in here! Someone close to me is due in a couple of months (her first) and I'd love to get her some thoughtful gifts nearer the time.

What have you got that you loved or what do you wish someone got for you? Do you prefer practical gifts or more pampering ones? I don't have kids myself so need all the help I can get! Thank you!

I think boots vouchers are good as they do lots of baby essentials and clothes and also make up, perfumes, pamper sets for mum so she could decide wether to buy baby stuff or treat herself (personally I’d treat myself )

 

[Heybooboo]

Oh lovely, it’s so tough isn’t it but it does get better. I used cold flannels and lanolin when my nipples were sore. This really will pass. Do you feel comfortable laying down to feed? You lay in a C, arm above baby’s head and legs bent up so you don’t roll. I’d tuck my other hand in between my legs. It saved me in the early days of cluster feeding and my daughter had a tongue tie that was missed until 11 weeks and towards then my milk supply was so poor she was feeding 24/7 desperate for milk. Even if I didn’t sleep, just the laying down helped me feel better as I’d feel dizzy from the tiredness.
Sending you lots of love and you can do this vibes.

Thank you i tried lying down for the first Monday but i couldn’t get the latch right but I’ll try again. I found it the easiest position with my son so hopefully I can get it right. Managed to get 1.5hours sleep so feeling a bit more positive now

Sending love. How old is baby? How is the latch? Are your nipples sore constantly or just when baby latches? You could try some different positions to feed to try and relieve the pain on certain parts of your nipples x

4 weeks now the pain did go after the first week but since she’s feeding non stop it’s back. Latch seems good as when she’s on it’s okay. I also have raynauds so there’s that pain

How old is your baby? I found feeding so incredibly painful at first. Am only 4 weeks in so it could happen again. I got temporary relief from cool compresses, I have the Lansinoh thera Pearl pads from the freezer which gave temporary relief but I’ve heard even using a nappy with cold water poured in it can help! Put it in your bra.
I think women who manage a newborn and a toddler are superheroes

i have raynauds so I have to keep them warm otherwise the pain is so bad, I had it with my first but thought it was because it was winter so surprised it’s back this time. Keeping them cool would help otherwise sadly

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you i tried lying down for the first Monday but i couldn’t get the latch right but I’ll try again. I found it the easiest position with my son so hopefully I can get it right. Managed to get 1.5hours sleep so feeling a bit more positive now



4 weeks now the pain did go after the first week but since she’s feeding non stop it’s back. Latch seems good as when she’s on it’s okay. I also have raynauds so there’s that pain

i have raynauds so I have to keep them warm otherwise the pain is so bad, I had it with my first but thought it was because it was winter so surprised it’s back this time. Keeping them cool would help otherwise sadly

If pain eases when she’s on, just make sure you’re waiting and biding your time to get her with her mouth as wide open as possible to latch her. I know it’s so difficult sometimes, they flail about like octopuses, they open their mouth at all the wrong moments but I always find waiting and taking that time definitely helps. I laughed the other day as my 2.5yo said (while I was sitting down to feed baby) “open up wide!” So I must be muttering that to him!

 

[Tui]

Thank you i tried lying down for the first Monday but i couldn’t get the latch right but I’ll try again. I found it the easiest position with my son so hopefully I can get it right. Managed to get 1.5hours sleep so feeling a bit more positive now



4 weeks now the pain did go after the first week but since she’s feeding non stop it’s back. Latch seems good as when she’s on it’s okay. I also have raynauds so there’s that pain

i have raynauds so I have to keep them warm otherwise the pain is so bad, I had it with my first but thought it was because it was winter so surprised it’s back this time. Keeping them cool would help otherwise sadly

You let can microwave the Thera pearls as well so they are nice and warm. Helpful with encouraging let down and for expressing too. The nappy trick also works with warm/hot water!

 

[Definitelyme]

You let can microwave the Thera pearls as well so they are nice and warm. Helpful with encouraging let down and for expressing too. The nappy trick also works with warm/hot water!

Hot water in a nappy is fab for helping clear blocked ducts and relieve engorgement Stays warm for ages!

 

[Icbaaaa]

Hey I wasn't sure whether to make a separate thread or just post in here! Someone close to me is due in a couple of months (her first) and I'd love to get her some thoughtful gifts nearer the time.

What have you got that you loved or what do you wish someone got for you? Do you prefer practical gifts or more pampering ones? I don't have kids myself so need all the help I can get! Thank you!

Id definitely go more pampering! My friend dropped me some gifts yesterday which included bath bombs face mask and wine and my other friend/neighbour gave me a bag of lip balm, face mask, hand cream, chocolate (lots!) and mini cocktails as well as a wee gift for baby. Also a massive pot of spag bol which is amazing!!!
It's so caring when people think of mum and makes me feel so happy because normally people forget mum and focus just on baby!

Has anyone decided a few days after birth they want to try breastfeeding? My baby is 4 days old and I've now decided I want to try BF but didn't ask for help in hospital as I didn't think I wanted to. I've been expressing but would like to give it a go. Can community midwives help with it? I'm struggling to get her to latch properly and find positions comfy (I had a csection so quite uncomfy with babies weight on my stomach)

 

[Bae56]

The best advice I could give to anyone post birth is if you don't feel like moving from your pjs for weeks after, don't. Just be at home, where you're comfortable with your baby. I remember comparing myself to mums who were up on their feet, feeling well, out and about and I couldnt grasp why I wasn't the same. So I pushed myself to be the same which was to my own detriment both physically and mentally.
Some labours are more difficult and complicated. If yours was, you owe it to yourself to take time to rest and adjust to your new life with minimal pressure. It's a really special time, do what feels right for you.

 

[Tui]

Id definitely go more pampering! My friend dropped me some gifts yesterday which included bath bombs face mask and wine and my other friend/neighbour gave me a bag of lip balm, face mask, hand cream, chocolate (lots!) and mini cocktails as well as a wee gift for baby. Also a massive pot of spag bol which is amazing!!!
It's so caring when people think of mum and makes me feel so happy because normally people forget mum and focus just on baby!

Has anyone decided a few days after birth they want to try breastfeeding? My baby is 4 days old and I've now decided I want to try BF but didn't ask for help in hospital as I didn't think I wanted to. I've been expressing but would like to give it a go. Can community midwives help with it? I'm struggling to get her to latch properly and find positions comfy (I had a csection so quite uncomfy with babies weight on my stomach)

You will still be under community midwives so definitely give them a call and ask them to come and review latch etc.
I had a Csection and found rugby ball hold the most comfortable (and still do). I rest him on a breastfeeding pillow (any pillow will do) down by my side which means my arms don’t have to take all his weight.

The best advice I could give to anyone post birth is if you don't feel like moving from your pjs for weeks after, don't. Just be at home, where you're comfortable with your baby. I remember comparing myself to mums who were up on their feet, feeling well, out and about and I couldnt grasp why I wasn't the same. So I pushed myself to be the same which was to my own detriment both physically and mentally.
Some labours are more difficult and complicated. If yours was, you owe it to yourself to take time to rest and adjust to your new life with minimal pressure. It's a really special time, do what feels right for you.

I’m glad you say this. Feel a lot of peer pressure from NCT group to be meeting up for coffee etc. Am just over 4 weeks post section and long emotionally traumatic labour which left me quite shaken. The thought of heading out for a few hours with him alone is really daunting. Plus can’t drive yet and they keep arranging stuff driving distance from my home (most of them live in the town up the road from me so there is a reason why they arrange stuff where they do)
They’re all booking baby classes for their 5-6 weeks olds when I couldn’t be less interested in doing stuff like that when my son is completely enthralled by a window and doesn’t fix and follow yet, I just don’t see the point.
My baby is the youngest and the oldest baby is over 8 weeks old so feel like circumstances have left me behind (I know it’s silly)

 

[Kit123]

You will still be under community midwives so definitely give them a call and ask them to come and review latch etc.
I had a Csection and found rugby ball hold the most comfortable (and still do). I rest him on a breastfeeding pillow (any pillow will do) down by my side which means my arms don’t have to take all his weight.


I’m glad you say this. Feel a lot of peer pressure from NCT group to be meeting up for coffee etc. Am just over 4 weeks post section and long emotionally traumatic labour which left me quite shaken. The thought of heading out for a few hours with him alone is really daunting. Plus can’t drive yet and they keep arranging stuff driving distance from my home (most of them live in the town up the road from me so there is a reason why they arrange stuff where they do)
They’re all booking baby classes for their 5-6 weeks olds when I couldn’t be less interested in doing stuff like that when my son is completely enthralled by a window and doesn’t fix and follow yet, I just don’t see the point.
My baby is the youngest and the oldest baby is over 8 weeks older so feel like circumstances have left me behind (I know it’s silly)

When you feel up to it there are sensory classes on YouTube that saved me through lockdown!

 

[Esme]

Has anyone decided a few days after birth they want to try breastfeeding? My baby is 4 days old and I've now decided I want to try BF but didn't ask for help in hospital as I didn't think I wanted to. I've been expressing but would like to give it a go. Can community midwives help with it? I'm struggling to get her to latch properly and find positions comfy (I had a csection so quite uncomfy with babies weight on my stomach)

You can definitely try breastfeeding, people do it weeks after birth. Lots of skin to skin for baby so they can root to feed and getting the latch right is really important. Call for a community midwife. Although I successfully fed multiple times in hospital (had to stay in for observations) once home baby wouldn’t latch at all. Luckily I rang and had a midwife come quickly. She taught us how to latch baby and then when it was wrong or didn’t feel right, we’d unlatch and try again until baby learnt how to latch themselves. If you want help now, there’s are tons of Facebook pages and videos on YouTube for latching. As you are expressing, I’ve seen people saying it helps to squeeze a little milk out before trying to latch. The most important thing I learnt with breastfeeding and bottles was that the flow from a bottle was much faster and that’s why babies can get bottle preference. With breastfeeding baby has to suck and work harder to get the milk so they may get frustrated initially and that’s why a lot of people think baby is happier on a bottle. Just thought I’d mention it incase you find baby acts like that, you can do breast compressions to help which the community midwife can demonstrate if you need guidance (or online as above). Position wise, I held baby in my arms or laid down to feed. When baby was really tiny I sometimes used a cushion to help support her weight if I was tired. They might work for you after your c section. Sending lots of love 🤍

 

[Definitelyme]

Id definitely go more pampering! My friend dropped me some gifts yesterday which included bath bombs face mask and wine and my other friend/neighbour gave me a bag of lip balm, face mask, hand cream, chocolate (lots!) and mini cocktails as well as a wee gift for baby. Also a massive pot of spag bol which is amazing!!!
It's so caring when people think of mum and makes me feel so happy because normally people forget mum and focus just on baby!

Has anyone decided a few days after birth they want to try breastfeeding? My baby is 4 days old and I've now decided I want to try BF but didn't ask for help in hospital as I didn't think I wanted to. I've been expressing but would like to give it a go. Can community midwives help with it? I'm struggling to get her to latch properly and find positions comfy (I had a csection so quite uncomfy with babies weight on my stomach)

Some great advice above if you are in a position to avail of a lactation consultant they will be far more valuable to you than midwives. Unfortunately many community midwives have basic bf training and I’ve seen/heard them give out poor advice many times. (Not their fault, it’s just poor training in many cases). Your hospital may also have a breastfeeding coordinator you could make contact with for specialist help if a lactation consultant isn’t an option.

Definitely lots of skin to skin and attempts to latch her well. Try laid back breastfeeding (YouTube some videos) to help her get a deep latch. I’ve had two sections and fed afterwards (and this boyo is a big brute!), and baby shouldn’t be down so low as your incision site when feeding. Make sure she is very high up, her feet should be tucked under your armpit, and have her tummy flat against yours.

Be patient when latching. It can take a while in those early days to get a good latch each time, even when they’ve been at it from day 0. Bring her nose to your nipple and wait and wait until her mouth is as wide open as she can go before latching her. Can take 10-15 minutes for my boy sometimes to get it right. And don’t be afraid to unlatch and relatch multiple times to get it right. X

 

[OIM]

When you feel up to it there are sensory classes on YouTube that saved me through lockdown!

Ooh this sounds good. Going to check it out when the youngest is in nursery.

Lockdown has made it much harder to feel like going out I’ve found. I don’t want to be out with a tiny baby that needs feeding and have to sit outside in the cold. With my first I used to spend a lot of time at fiends houses with her and that’s it’s not an option this time round. We do 2 classes a week but basically for my sanity!

 

[Kit123]

Ooh this sounds good. Going to check it out when the youngest is in nursery.

Lockdown has made it much harder to feel like going out I’ve found. I don’t want to be out with a tiny baby that needs feeding and have to sit outside in the cold. With my first I used to spend a lot of time at fiends houses with her and that’s it’s not an option this time round. We do 2 classes a week but basically for my sanity!

Definitely! I did all of Sophie Pickles. There is also 'The Baby Club' on iplayer. Think its only on a child's account though. They are not too bad.
I do one class a week and sometimes other things but yeah it's hard isn't it! This is my first so I've just been doing everything at home. Also, I'm really struggling to actually get out of the house and get to places on time now.

 

[Pinkii]

Anyone have advice on how to handle/treat Silent reflux?

my 2 week old seems to be suffering from it badly, constantly hiccups after feeds, cannot put her down on her back for majority of the day otherwise its just constant grunting and frustration, we’re barely getting any sleep at night as we have to hold her up right for ages post feed.

i have a toddler so can’t be having baby attached to me constantly to keep her up right, i (as much as I would like that) i know its not recommended and probably early but we have resorted to using a bouncer otherwise we can’t do anything

 

[Bae56]

Shopping with a pram - what is the etiquette? Can I put stuff in basket then pay? Can’t struggle round with a hand basket too

I put stuff in the pram basket. I find scan & go good & use one of those clips to hang the shopping bags on the pram too of it's a big shop.

 

[littlepup]

Anyone have advice on how to handle/treat Silent reflux?

my 2 week old seems to be suffering from it badly, constantly hiccups after feeds, cannot put her down on her back for majority of the day otherwise its just constant grunting and frustration, we’re barely getting any sleep at night as we have to hold her up right for ages post feed.

i have a toddler so can’t be having baby attached to me constantly to keep her up right, i (as much as I would like that) i know its not recommended and probably early but we have resorted to using a bouncer otherwise we can’t do anything

I don’t have personal experience but understand from CMPA pages a whole lot of babies are on gaviscon or omeprazole. I’d have a chat with your Health Visitor or GP x

 

[Definitelyme]

Anyone have advice on how to handle/treat Silent reflux?

my 2 week old seems to be suffering from it badly, constantly hiccups after feeds, cannot put her down on her back for majority of the day otherwise its just constant grunting and frustration, we’re barely getting any sleep at night as we have to hold her up right for ages post feed.

i have a toddler so can’t be having baby attached to me constantly to keep her up right, i (as much as I would like that) i know its not recommended and probably early but we have resorted to using a bouncer otherwise we can’t do anything

Have you a sling to pop her in? It would keep her upright cuddling you, but leave you hands free.

Is she breast or bottle fed? If breastfed, silent reflux is usually a symptom of a feeding issue rather than the issue itself. I’ll link to a blog below by a great lactation consultant, but if you are bottle feeding it most likely isn’t relevant.

https://www.carolsmyth.co.uk/breastfeeding-resources/posts/2015/may/reflux-and-breastfeeding/

 

[Kit123]

Anyone have advice on how to handle/treat Silent reflux?

my 2 week old seems to be suffering from it badly, constantly hiccups after feeds, cannot put her down on her back for majority of the day otherwise its just constant grunting and frustration, we’re barely getting any sleep at night as we have to hold her up right for ages post feed.

i have a toddler so can’t be having baby attached to me constantly to keep her up right, i (as much as I would like that) i know its not recommended and probably early but we have resorted to using a bouncer otherwise we can’t do anything

Mine had colic and reflux. Same thing, had to keep her up for about 30 minutes after every feed and she just didn't want to put down! We tried all the over the counter medicine but in the end only gaviscon worked. I would definitely speak to the GP. I feel for you, it really is awful! It made me wish the newborn weeks away because HV said it would get better at 12 weeks.....it didn't