New baby and post birth advice #3

[Heyholetsgo]

My second daughter is 5 months old and I'm definitely done. I'm so relieved I never have to be pregnant again too, sorry if that's insensitive to anyone I just hated it so much.

Still can't get a baby to sleep in the cot though, I thought I would nail it with the second but yeah not happening at all

 

[Chickenandgravy]

This is something with the cord that nobody ever tells you!
I only started putting it on the outside because when I was in hospital with my first and they were doing the usual newborn tests, they put his nappy back on and folded it down.
So I just presumed it was supposed to be like that.
Nobody told me otherwise when I was putting it over it to start with!

You would think that would be quite important to tell people aswell!

 

[WhatABore]

If he’s adamant he gets less sleep on the sofa, maybe you should swap for a night - he can get up with the baby and you can have peace on the sofa!

Doesn't matter where he sleeps, even before baby was born, he always insisted he hardly slept and always had 2 or 3 hours.
Yet even when in bed with me he was always snoring
Tempted to make him wear my fitness band so he can actually see that he's getting more sleep

 

[Hbirdette]

Ladies, I’ve just got this for my little boy and stuck it to the table on his mamas and papas activity seat. He LOVES it

 

[lexle]

Postpartum bleeding: did you find that you had lost one day and not much the next and then a lot the next day etc? I thought it would be steadily heavy and then gradually get lighter like a period but it’s been all over the place and I never know what to expect. Is this pretty standard?

The amount I bled would be dependant on how much I was doing. So if I was resting, I wouldn’t bleed much but I went out shopping or for walks, I’d bleed more. It eventually did just get lighter and stop after a few weeks

 

[moimoi]

My son will be 18 months when baby is due, so he’ll be a handful. That scares me a lot! I didn’t plan for this, like anything in life, you make a rough plan of big life events. This is something we haven’t planned for & assumed we would not be pregnant again so this is completely messed my head up.
I worry what people will think of me, irresponsible?

Thank you.
you’re right, I’m really only just getting over the birth so for this to happen it’s kind of put a spanner in the works..
I’m feeling really bittersweet to say the least!

What a turn of events!

Absolutely don’t worry about what anyone else will think! No one’s business and I’m sure they’ll be thrilled anyway. Like mentioned, I don’t think 18 months is an unusual gap, lots of people have babies intentionally soon after to have a small gap.

 

[Kitt]

Hi everyone, I feel like I can finally move over to this thread now by baby girl is home and out of NICU. The times I stayed with her in hospital and last night (first night at home) we can’t put her down to sleep she’ll only sleep on us. I don’t know if one of the reasons is because her next to me crib feels cold to touch (even though the room temperature is correct) can anyone recommend a heat pad or something and has anyone used one before with success?

so glad Ayda is home really pleased for you. I’ve learned that I have to hold Finn for around 10 mins before I can pop him down. Apparently it takes them 10 mins to get into deep sleep so I wait and then put him down and he makes a slight grumble and then he’s usually fine. Has made nighttime a lot lot easier for me. I also have a love to dream swaddle where he can have his arms up because he hates being swaddled in the traditional way as he likes his arms up.

 

[Disneylifeonly]

Had 6 week check up today and my chunky little baby is now 12 pounds 4 ounces

 

[Definitelyme]

Been lying on the sofa cluster feeding since almost 5pm this evening....while my other half has all his pals over getting steaming. Times like these I really fucking hate him for how easy he has it.

Came in to see me there for the first time in a few hours and said aw ill take her for you...eh 1) you don't have tits and 2) you're absolutely out your face so what in all that is holy makes you think I'm going to hand over our 7 week old to you?!

IM SO PISSED OFF (and tired and my nipples feel like they are going to fall off at any moment)

Oh the rage

I hope you managed to get some sleep in the end, and get her down on her own for a while and give the boobies a well deserved rest. Lord knows your OH has a LOT of making up to do today, I would be beyond furious with that.
Something I’ve really struggled with over the years is that, not even sure what to call it? The jealousy that my husband’s life barely changes when we have a newborn, whereas mine becomes totally tied to this one teeny person with no break at all.

 

[wakametango]

I feel drained, literally. If I don’t meet her feeding cue within 1 minute she screams, we have to then calm her down before she even considers latching… could be 40 mins. during feed she scratched herself and started the calming down process again.
I was sat 6:30-8:15 calming and feeding her… is this normal!? In the end my OH took her and told me to have some time out

 

[moimoi]

Ergh I’ve had a stinking headache on and off all day today and as a result I feel like I’ve been a bit of a shitty mum baby is totally fine. He’s just having A lot more time in front of the tv than usual

Don't feel TV shame, sometimes you've just gotta put it on for an hour (or two ) for a break or to get shit done! Hey Bear Sensory on YouTube has been a lifesaver and it's not half as annoying as most of the kids shit on there!

 

[Disneylifeonly]

God I'm a ridiculous human and put Thomas is outfits every day I feel bad if I don't because we got bought so many outfits

 

[Babyyoda88]

I think I've managed a grand total of 10 hours sleep in the past week.
Twin 2 had been a nightmare with wind was taking us over an hour to settle her. She's now settling absolutely grand and twin 1 has decided she wants to be awkward Add in the fact the iron supplements they have to have daily makes them vomit and they've both got the world's worst diarrhoea, the words explosive nappy doesn't even begin to cover it . I'm putting the lottery on this weekend this mama needs a night nanny

Don’t know how you do it with two. This baby slept about 45 mins last night she just won’t go down of a night. She’ll instantly sleep on me as soon as she’s picked up though. It’s going to be a looong 4th trimester. I thought being in her incubator all those weeks would have taught her how to sleep alone. Clearly not bless her

 

[Kitt]

Had another frustrating night. Fed baby a full feed at 11:30 and he slept til 2. Great! Then my husband fed him but only a half feed and popped him straight back in his crib unsettled. Then my husband went straight to sleep. From 2-6:30 I had to deal with baby being fussy and unsettled, had to feed him every hour but just little bits cause he was not full but not needing a full feed either. He slept in a little 40 min burst but was super whiney all the time. I find it so annoying that I could’ve potentially had a better night with more sleep if he’d just been given a proper full feed at 2. My husband for some reason never manages to make him take one but with me he does. Can’t help but feel my husbands ‘that’ll do’ attitude is coming out here and he doesn’t have the patience to let him eat fully and take his time cause he’s tired and wants to go back to bed. But then he doesn’t deal with the issues after, I do and he sleeps. I spoke to him about it the other day but he did it again last night. Feel like crap today

 

[Hbirdette]

Baby is currently having a mammoth nap in bed with me (1hr45) why oh WHYYYY didn’t I think to bring a cup of tea and snacks up with me

 

[Kitt]

Yeah I’m still very sore and I think it’s partly the stitches but I think the bruising is the worst of it. Looking forward to moving without having to think about it and take it super slow.

Baby’s in that phase where he’s awake at night for no reason but he managed to sleep 3:45-7:15 which gave us a nice chunk to sleep. Genuinely never thought I’d be grateful saying ‘got a good 3 hours there.’

 

[suprnatural]

I’ve got a question about baby sleeping bags. I’ve looked at the guide but just wanted to hear it from a person rather than google so I need to get a couple of bags for the winter but we live in a new build and our house is really warm. Baring in mind it’s 13 degrees outside right now, his room is 23 degrees and we’ve not had the heating on at all. I’m reluctant to buy a 2.5 tog bag incase it’s too hot for him. Would I be better with a 1/1.5 tog and a long sleeved top in the winter and if for some reason it gets absolutely freezing in my house (very slim chance) then put a sleepsuit on him as well? I’m a bit freaked about overheating him so just wondered if anyone had a bit of guidanceView attachment 761767

I use a midweight Ergobaby sleeping bag at the mo and this is the chart that came with it, I found it more helpful than the ones I had seen before

 

[WhatABore]

Oh the rage

I hope you managed to get some sleep in the end, and get her down on her own for a while and give the boobies a well deserved rest. Lord knows your OH has a LOT of making up to do today, I would be beyond furious with that.
Something I’ve really struggled with over the years is that, not even sure what to call it? The jealousy that my husband’s life barely changes when we have a newborn, whereas mine becomes totally tied to this one teeny person with no break at all.

This!
I've been exactly the same.
And in the end I had to discuss it with him because I felt myself start to resent him.
Every time the baby was crying and wouldn't stop, or wouldn't sleep, anything like that, and he's there just carrying on as normal and I'm struggling!
It never really changed, but she stopped crying so much and stuff so I found it was less.
Even the fact I get up during the night with her, yet he moans he's tired

 

[Hbirdette]

Taking my baba for his first swimming lesson tomorrow must remember to shave my legs

 

[Definitelyme]

Just wanted to say that you are so so lovely and always offer such good advice

That is so kind, thank you I was actually worrying “I bet they are sick of seeing me harping on (especially about slings and cosleeping)” so that is really lovely to read.