New baby and post birth advice #3

[klarakluckbag]

Just had a look at the Lovevery subscription boxes. Am I being tight or do these seem mega expensive?! View attachment 756660

Oh wow....I've not seen these before (why would I? My kid is now 23 years old!)

"£38 per month of play". . I've spent loads of money on kids toys over the years, and with the benefit of hindsight, I can tell you now, that your kids will prefer the noisiest, most horrible plastic tat that you can find. I love the idea of "developmental research", gender neutral toys, things that don't harm the planet, etc, etc. But children have other ideas. My son's favourite toy was, at one point, my plastic pasta spoon (which I still have), we couldn't leave the house without it. I taught him the colours, before he could speak properly, simply because he got very excited when he saw me painting my nails red one day. Within 3 hours, he had learned the names of colours, just by me pointing out other things which were red like my nails, then blue, then yellow, and so on. My son is definitely not a genius, but you honestly don't need expensive subscription boxes in order to help your children to learn and to play. Just make sure that you talk to them all day (so do get off your phone!) Read to them often, and especially at bedtime. Let them play with cardboard boxes, let them rip up newspapers, let them bang your saucepans with a wooden spoon. Kids will play with anything, even now, mine will instantly grab the long tube from the inside of the Christmas wrapping paper, and wave it around while making light saber noises!

 

[Hairraiser]

Can we talk about routines: it’s suddenly occurred to me that as baby is approaching 8 weeks, should I be making bedtime seem more like bedtime???

At the moment, he stays in the lounge with us until we go to bed. This is anytime between 10pm and 11pm- obviously he needs to stay in the same room as us so should we be going to bed earlier and starting a routine of bath, book, bed etc?

Honestly? Do whatever you feel is right for you. I don’t know how helpful that is, but I know we didn’t have a routine for our little one until he was around 5 months. People were always shocked at this, but tbh, it just works for us as a family. He slept better if he went to bed at the same time as us, we would bath him every night but it was never at a particular time, just kind of when we’d had enough and wanted to go to bed but also found he slept better if he went to bed later. Now he’s 7 months, he has a bit more of a routine but only because we are weaning & I find now as he’s more active during the day he gets tired easily and we usually start ‘bedtime’ around 6:30, it takes around an hour to do everything and he’s usually asleep by 7:30 and goes through till 5.
You could try a little routine for a few days, see how it feels for you, baby might be a little unsettled at first cause it’s different for them but no harm in trying. At 8 weeks they aren’t doing much other than laying there, sleeping & eating. It’s when they start wanting to roll, sit up, tummy time etc.
I found I was just surviving everyday for the first 3 months so to be able to get to the end of the day and baby was happy & alive i knew I was doing ok

 

[123456!!12/]

@Definitelyme thanks for checking in on me. I feel okay physically now, emotionally this feeding situation is really starting to get on top of me.

I’m worried it’s my letdown and that’ll mean the end of my feeding journey. I don’t feel my letdown so I don’t know. But it’s not every feed and I thought if it was my letdown it would affect every feed. I could cry. I just don’t know anymore. The midwives are weighing him tomorrow so I’ll have to try and workout and maybe mention my worries to them. I’m so worried they’ll just palm me off and I’ll be left to struggle.

I feel like it could be reflux but I just don’t know. He’s not bringing up loads of milk, he’s recently started bringing up cottage cheese type milk. My partner thinks it’s gas. I’m just so worried about it and I feel like he’s relying on me to advocate for him but the midwife said because he’s not tiny they’re not worried but I am. I’m worried about it, I want him to be cared for just as well as a tiny baby would be. I don’t want him ignored because he’s average weight. I just feel so lost and I’m really starting to spiral x

 

[Ilando]

Asda have 20% off baby clothes (£30 min spend). Couldn’t resist the Christmas bibs, socks and pjs

 

[Definitelyme]

It’s a good job breastfeeding burns calories- I’ve already eaten 2 chocolate bars this morning as baby was up virtually every hour last night!

Chocolate is made from plants so it’s practically fruit Sorry about the crap night, we’ve had a few very unsettled nights and days this week. Lots of screaming. Not crying or chatting, but just screaming angrily. It’s super fun

 

[wakametango]

Please pray for me… second night of settling into the Moses basket. Tried twice tonight already and she jolts awake each time

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Quite funny how you would love your 8 week old to sleep through the night but when they actually do you're worried something is wrong

 

[Hairraiser]

I have two friends who had babies and were pregnant again at the 8 and 9 month mark. One just has those two and she loved having them so close. Sure, sometimes hard work, but they are now 7 and 8 and can all go and do bigger things as a family, things that are age appropriate and fun for both kids. (The other went on to have 3 more, but her eldest two have always been close).

Just take some time and sit with it and once the shock wears off see how you feel. You’re still coming to terms with all that happened surrounding your son’s birth too, so be kind to yourself and remember there is no right or wrong way to feel about this x

My son will be 18 months when baby is due, so he’ll be a handful. That scares me a lot! I didn’t plan for this, like anything in life, you make a rough plan of big life events. This is something we haven’t planned for & assumed we would not be pregnant again so this is completely messed my head up.
I worry what people will think of me, irresponsible?

Thank you.
you’re right, I’m really only just getting over the birth so for this to happen it’s kind of put a spanner in the works..
I’m feeling really bittersweet to say the least!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Trying to pack for a week away with a new baby is a whole other level of stress

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Baby’s too uncomfortable at night with colic to be put down in her crib, she’s grunting and then crying every times she’s put down (but sleeps on me when I pick her up). She’s currently on infacol. Any other suggestions for her which worked for any of you? I can’t keep holding her for ages I start to fall asleep and that scares me

Twin 2 is exactly the same combined with her constantly throwing her abidec up too shes just so uncomfortable. The only way I managed to settle her for about and hour last night was by holding her legs gently up to her stomach. After about 20mins she drifted off and slowly stopped grunting and then proceeded to let out a shit load of farts. Then it was time to feed again .

 

[WhatABore]

Omg when the formula is wasted………..

In my head I'm like.. Do you know how expensive this stuff is?!

 

[Kitt]

Thank you for support yesterday. I’ve had a bad couple of days but trying to just keep going. Not letting myself get down cause I’m learning.

ok so can I ask about lactation suppression? Finn is a month old today (yay!) and I’m still having to wear a bra all day and all night. If I take my bra off I’m instantly leaking. My midwife said it should take about 2 weeks but we’re at twice that. I’m fed up of sleeping in a bra and I’m getting a bad rash between my boobs from the heat and sweat as they never get a break from being in boob jail. I have 34J boobs (fuck my life) so I’m guessing this is contributing to it taking longer. I don’t know how to not ‘stimulate’ them. They’re so big there’s no avoiding them and they get very squished when Finn’s on my chest. I really hate my boobs anyway so the fact this is still ongoing makes me hate them more. Does anyone have any tips to suppress the milk or can advise on how long it took their milk to go away?

 

[Bwacac]

Don't feel TV shame, sometimes you've just gotta put it on for an hour (or two ) for a break or to get shit done! Hey Bear Sensory on YouTube has been a lifesaver and it's not half as annoying as most of the kids shit on there!

My little girl loves hey bear. 20 mins of that, means I can enjoy a hot cup of coffee after the school run. It’s pure bliss!!

 

[orange club biscuit]

Omg I don’t know if it’s this hot weather or what but baby has been feeding aaall day, the most she’s slept was about 90 mins this morning. She drifts off whilst feeding and then when I try and put her down she’s screaming furiously she’s napped on me a bit but I am dreading tonight. And when I was changing her earlier I got her all clean ready for a new nappy then she weed all over herself, the mat and the floor this happened twice today!

(these is no point to this post other than to vent and also I really want a glass of wine but then I’m too scared to have her sleeping with us tonight)

 

[mg89]

Holy shit where are you based?! 915!!! We are in the Midlands so not the most expensive but wow. Yep we’ve opened up one of those accounts so the government pay in 20% which does help a little.
aww bless you, it’s a bloodyemotional rollercoaster isn’t it. How old will Your baba be when you’re back at work?

We are based on North London, the 20% will definitely be welcomed and helpful!! He will be 9.5 months!

oh I did this yesterday. Pringle crumbs and melted chocolate on my little one! I felt terrible.

During those witching hours we used to have baby in the sling while we ate. My partner dropped curry on his head one day and he had an orange stain on his head for days! Many bits of food were dropped down in those days.

Thanks, I'll have a wee look

Kokoso is a lovely brand too, they do a scalp cream that cleared up a really persistent patch of dry skin my baby had.

 

[wakametango]

Boy mamas: any advice to avoid the pee fountain happening whilst changing? He only does it to me and not my husband lol

I think girls do this too, I undo her nappy let her feel the air then get my cotton wool balls and nappy bag prepped so she has some time to still go in her dirty one before her clean up!?!

 

[OIM]

Can't imagine how horrible that must be!!
How old is she?
Have they given you any idea at all what could be causing it?

She’s 7.5 months. They keep saying it’s maybe childhood febrile convulsions but she’s not getting temps with them so not sure. I’m preparing myself for the possibility of epilepsy but tbh whatever it is we will feel better when we know and we can treat it and help her.

 

[Definitelyme]

My health anxiety after having Thomas is literally taking over my life

Sending love. If it’s very bad, please speak to your HV or GP and reach out for help. Anxiety doesn’t have to take over your life, there are things there which can help you.

For anyone who wants to, themovementmama on Instagram had a lot about post partum anxiety this week, so may be worth checking out. I’d recommend her anyway for general tips on gross motor development.

 

[Easilyannoyed]

Thank you everyone for the comments on feeling like the baby is in your bed still I keep. Having it but now I know at least I know it’s normal I thought I was losing my mind! We went to a bike outlet today got loads of new I pretend to go to the gym clothes but really I just wear these to be put together and because I wanted to push the pram… daddy actually took over the pram

 

[Definitelyme]

Hey guys can I ask some really dumb questions about sterilising? I've been exclusively breastfeeding so far but have finally decided to try and pump maybe once a day and try a bottle feed with the expressed milk. But I'm finding the guidance really confusing.

We have a tommee tippee microwave steriliser. So it says if you sterilise bottles and leave the lid closed they remain sterile for 24 hours. But obviously I need to open the steriliser to get out a bottle to pour my pumped breast milk into (I have a manual Mamia 'pump' from Aldi which is amazing, tested it for a few mins the other day but I poured the milk away. It's not really a pump but more like a gentle pressure to collect milk from one boob as I feed from the other, like a Hakka). NHS guidance says use a sterilised bottle as soon as possible but it also says you can store breast milk in the fridge for up to 8 days (I doubt I will, but still). So can I pump in the morning, pour it into the sterilised bottle and store in the fridge for a while or not? Or do I definitely need breast milk storage bags? Or can I just keep the milk in the fridge in the pump and then pour it into the freshly sterilised bottle just before I need it? I am utterly confused tbh, am I just overcomplicating things? I have a lot of admiration for those that bottle feed, you must be so organised! The only reason I've been putting off trying a bottle is because of this whole sterilising malarkey which sounds ridiculous but there we go .

So basically if anyone who pumps and stores breast milk could tell me exactly what they do it would be much appreciated

If you are exclusively breastfeeding and feeding breastmilk in bottles you no longer need to sterilise. A wash in hot soapy water is enough. That is the advice of the milk bank in Northern Ireland anyway, and of course they have very high hygiene regulations. In fact, they actually ask you NOT to sterilise.

You don’t need milk storage bags, but if you want to freeze milk they are the best option as they can lie flat and not take up too much space. You can pump and leave milk in the fridge, then pump again later and add the new milk to the fridge milk when it is at the same temp. So you can layer milk in the fridge but it all has to be fridge temp. Or you can leave it out (for 6 hours) and add the next lot of milk to it and then stick in the fridge.

I haven’t pumped in years as I found it too much hassle (and I never go anywhere ) but I would pump, pour in to a different bottle and leave in the fridge. Then pump again and add to it until I had enough. If I needed it that day/next day I’d leave it in the fridge. If not, I’d freeze in a milk bag.