New baby and post birth advice #3

[CrimeJunkie]

Don't feel TV shame, sometimes you've just gotta put it on for an hour (or two ) for a break or to get shit done! Hey Bear Sensory on YouTube has been a lifesaver and it's not half as annoying as most of the kids shit on there!

I’ve recently discovered Hey Bear and it’s saved my life makes such a difference having that free time to get stuff done without baby clinging to you! My MIL looked after LO yesterday afternoon and I still had dancing vegetables on the TV in the background for a good 30 mins after she’d left

 

[CrimeJunkie]

Thank you so much for the replies @wakametango @Definitelyme @mg89 @WhatABore

I'm also surprised that the doctor told me to leave her to cry. But then again, this is the same doctor who replied "well do you really need to go out in public with a 5 week old" when I spoke to her last week and told her I'm struggling with the crying and it's making me not want to go out.

I will definitely read up more on the fourth trimester. I think I'm guilty of thinking that her crying isn't normal, but I'm slowly starting to realise that it is totally normal for a baby her age! She sleeps absolutely fine at night and that's something I'm so grateful for, I'm not sure how I would cope otherwise. I haven't tried a sling but it's definitely something I'm going to look into.

@mg89 the doctor prescribed the tablet form, I saw a different doctor today who wouldn't prescribe the liquid as she doesn't believe she has reflux (based on her seeing me feed for a grand total of 30 seconds). I'm going to carry on with the Omeprazole though because I'm certain she has it. I showed the dr a video of baby gagging on nothing (like something was in her throat/there was a horrible taste - she does it every single morning) and she completely dismissed it and said she doesn't look distressed so not to worry! As I'm typing this I think I'm going to ask to speak to someone different as I'm really not happy with any of the advice that she gave me. I'm seeing the HV tomorrow so will speak to her too.

 

[OIM]

How old is she?

I'm sure @Definitelyme can comment on the sleep as I remember her saying it took a long time for hers to sleep through!

You're not doing anything wrong at all!

She was 7 months yesterday. Last night was particularly bad. She woke at 1.30 and didn’t go back to sleep until nearly 4 and that was in with me and then is awake and up now at 5.45. I am secretly hoping starting nursery today will knacker her out so much she sleeps but think I may be being optimistic. Considering moving her cot into my spare room (currrntly husbands work from home office) and seeing if we can sleep train her. I had none of this trouble with my first which is probably why this feels so catastrophic this time! Also the thought of going to work on this little sleep is horrific.

 

[allforthegram]

My son will be 18 months when baby is due, so he’ll be a handful. That scares me a lot! I didn’t plan for this, like anything in life, you make a rough plan of big life events. This is something we haven’t planned for & assumed we would not be pregnant again so this is completely messed my head up.
I worry what people will think of me, irresponsible?

Thank you.
you’re right, I’m really only just getting over the birth so for this to happen it’s kind of put a spanner in the works..
I’m feeling really bittersweet to say the least!

Been watching in the background this evening!
First, congratulations to you both! What a shock in every way!
Second, my only advice would be to keep this to yourselves and with people you implicitly trust! People have way too much to say and “advice” to give. Which right now you more than likely do not want or need when you’re both so woahhhh.

however, we are all here so wish do you need anything!

 

[orange club biscuit]

@Kitt we had the same thing today! Cord fell off at 3 days old and loads of green goo. Coincidentally we had the community midwife round and she said it was fine and to wash it with cooled boiled water but I was freaking out!

I’m currently in hospital getting my stitches looked at as today I was in absolute agony and unable to sit, stand or lie down on the max painkillers they said it looks okay but the tear was in a really uncomfortable place. Waiting for codeine/precautionary antibiotics and trying not to fall asleep

 

[Ilando]

It’s a good job breastfeeding burns calories- I’ve already eaten 2 chocolate bars this morning as baby was up virtually every hour last night!

 

[littlepup]

Oh

fuck


My baby is 6 months old.

Just done a pregnancy test and it’s positive.

What the hell do I do now?

Am I right in remembering you had almost 0% chance of falling but you really wanted another? Or was that someone else? Should we say congratulations? It’ll be hard but lots of people do make it work. It’s like twins, really hard but somehow you just get on with it. I can see a lot of positives in having two so close in age too. How do you feel about it?

 

[mg89]

Sorry to hear that Disney- could you have a chat with a health visitor or someone similar?

It’s not the same but I’m finding myself googling every little thing he does and I’m driving myself mad!

I had PN anxiety and this was one of the things I was constantly doing - I worked on this in some therapy sessions that I did when I was diagnosed with PND and anxiety. The googling was taking over my life!

My health anxiety after having Thomas is literally taking over my life

Please do reach out to HV/GP. Another option is to refer yourself to your local IAPT team, you will be fast tracked as you have a baby. Doing it was the best thing I did and helped me break the cycle of a lot of behaviours and thoughts around my baby's health. I only had 8 sessions but they were gamechanging.

 

[Ilando]

Baby screams for 2 hours. Nothing will settle him…Husband gets back from the gym and settles him instantly

 

[Hairraiser]

What’s your number, I want you on WhatsApp for direct support from you
Joking, but you always reply so lovely with sound advice.
We all need Mummy Definitely x

I 2nd this!!! Always great advice from @Definitelyme

 

[Ilando]

Had another frustrating night. Fed baby a full feed at 11:30 and he slept til 2. Great! Then my husband fed him but only a half feed and popped him straight back in his crib unsettled. Then my husband went straight to sleep. From 2-6:30 I had to deal with baby being fussy and unsettled, had to feed him every hour but just little bits cause he was not full but not needing a full feed either. He slept in a little 40 min burst but was super whiney all the time. I find it so annoying that I could’ve potentially had a better night with more sleep if he’d just been given a proper full feed at 2. My husband for some reason never manages to make him take one but with me he does. Can’t help but feel my husbands ‘that’ll do’ attitude is coming out here and he doesn’t have the patience to let him eat fully and take his time cause he’s tired and wants to go back to bed. But then he doesn’t deal with the issues after, I do and he sleeps. I spoke to him about it the other day but he did it again last night. Feel like crap today

Nights are so tough aren’t they. The dark and quiet makes every situation feel worse and more isolated. My husband has a stressful job so I decided I’d do all the nights and I’m breastfeeding so sort of necessary doesn’t mean that I don’t resent the rest he is getting.
I make up for it by spending night feeds mentally making lists of all the jobs around the house he needs to do!

 

[Hushpuppy]

Hi ladies. I am really struggling, hence not being able to get on here much but I'm hoping you might be able to offer me some advice...

Baby boy is 5 weeks + 2 days now, and over the two weeks or so he has become so upset. He wakes up crying, he cries through a feed, he cries after a feed, and then he basically cries up until he falls asleep (if he falls asleep because he often skips a nap because he's so wound up).

He struggles bringing up wind and is obviously in a lot of pain. I've tried the cycling legs, tummy massage in a clockwise direction, cuddling, all sorts of winding positions but I really feel at my wit's end. It's not nice seeing your baby upset the majority of the time he's awake. He takes the odd feed easily and it makes me feel like a brand new woman, even if he cries after, but the majority of times he spits out and cries a lot for a good half an hour before taking any properly and it's a real ordeal.

It's such hard work in the week because I'm alone all day, I can't drive because of the c section and since my wound became infected I've been told to not get out for walks and to rest, so I feel like I'm going a bit mad in the same 4 walls, with his screaming as my sound track. I feel utterly useless that I can't quickly stop my baby from crying and it's really soul destroying.

Any advice pretty please because I'm out of ideas, other than maybe calling the GP on Monday. But I don't know if "my baby always cries and it's making me sad" is a valid reason.

 

[123456!!12/]

It’s our first day using reusable nappies today the designs are so cute but omg they mean clothes are a little tighter haha

 

[Jellybeanbelly]

I am running off caffeine, sugar and snacks. Every meal time baby decides she wants to be involved. Exhaustion from the night feeds is real!

 

[Hbirdette]

That is so kind, thank you I was actually worrying “I bet they are sick of seeing me harping on (especially about slings and cosleeping)” so that is really lovely to read.

I must admit I always value your great advice too

 

[LilyRose1234]

Thanks everyone! Since the heatwave I’ve had her in a sleepsuit but no vest most of the time, so I think I just panicked now it’s getting chillier my issue with the one layer more rule is that I’m always cold (will literally wear knitwear all year round) whereas my other half wears shorts when it’s snowing, so we’re useless as a baseline guide

 

[123456!!12/]

thanks for your reply!! Definitely will keep at it. Even though it’s not the case, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling behind when she was doing so well initially!

you definitely aren’t falling behind. If it makes you feel better, I BLW my first and my SIL used purées with my niece. They both barely eat anything unless it’s beige with barely any nutritional value now. My boy wakes up in the morning and the first thing he asks for is sweets. How they get into solid foods doesn’t matter at all, they all figure it out

 

[orange club biscuit]

Just had a look at the Lovevery subscription boxes. Am I being tight or do these seem mega expensive?! View attachment 756660

Yes! Crazy expensive. I guess some of the toys in there are quite niche ones you can’t get elsewhere so if there are specific ones you wanted it might be worth a one off, but still…

my 2 week old still prefers staring at a black and white cushion I’ve had for about 10 years as opposed to the £27 Etta Loves sensory muslins I bought the other day out of guilt I wasn’t stimulating her enough!

 

[Definitelyme]

I must admit I always value your great advice too

BRB, just quietly sobbing over here Thank you

I feel like doing a Phoebe in friends when she gathers them all up and goes “aww You guys!”

 

[moimoi]

Mine’s 4 months and I’m really dreading weaning. Mother’s in the baby group I go to have started at 5 months and I’m just like, I can’t be arsed! And waiting until 6 months min. The boob seems so simple.

And the whole weaning debate of purées vs BLW sounds as boring as the breastfeeding vs bottle debate! I never realised how precious people are about it! I’ll probably start with some purées/baby rice/porridge then finger foods when I’m/he’s more confident.