New baby and post birth advice #3

[WhatABore]

Totally agree, and the clue is in saying her every “need”. Babies just need stuff, it’s not want, just pure need. People our age have been conditioned way too much that we its bad to “spoil” babies, that they manipulate etc. My 4mo can’t get his hands in his mouth half the time, but Brenda up the road thinks he’s a master manipulator because he cries the stops when I pick him up. Maybe I’m just bloody great company

Ugh My partner is like this. When she was constantly wanting feeds every hour or 2 when a few weeks old he was like "No. You're just being naughty. You're not hungry"
Wtf are you talking about! She doesn't even control the acting hungry! It's all natural WHEN SHE IS HUNGRY She doesn't control it nor know what she's doing

 

[Definitelyme]

Ugh My partner is like this. When she was constantly wanting feeds every hour or 2 when a few weeks old he was like "No. You're just being naughty. You're not hungry"
Wtf are you talking about! She doesn't even control the acting hungry! It's all natural WHEN SHE IS HUNGRY She doesn't control it nor know what she's doing

Oh I would have smacked him in to next week! Imagine a 2 week old being naughty?!

 

[WhatABore]

Oh I would have smacked him in to next week! Imagine a 2 week old being naughty?!

Right?!
It's something his Mum has taught him
Same as him Mum kept saying "If that was me, I'd be feeding her every 4 hours regardless of the crying"

Then constantly complains about how awkward of a baby he was constantly crying when he was a baby.
I wonder why

 

[littlepup]

I feel drained, literally. If I don’t meet her feeding cue within 1 minute she screams, we have to then calm her down before she even considers latching… could be 40 mins. during feed she scratched herself and started the calming down process again.
I was sat 6:30-8:15 calming and feeding her… is this normal!? In the end my OH took her and told me to have some time out

I know a lot of people don’t like them but have you considered using a dummy? It might help to pacify her just for a few moments to wake to feed or after she has gotten upset to calm her quicker?
Absolutely understand people like to avoid them, I was one of them! But it genuinely calms my little one so I don’t think it’s ‘cheating’ but using every resource I can to make her feel happier.

 

[wakametango]

I know a lot of people don’t like them but have you considered using a dummy? It might help to pacify her just for a few moments to wake to feed or after she has gotten upset to calm her quicker?
Absolutely understand people like to avoid them, I was one of them! But it genuinely calms my little one so I don’t think it’s ‘cheating’ but using every resource I can to make her feel happier.

I did! And she screamed blue murder!!
She needs to work on her emotional regulation (ps. thanks for the tip though! X)

 

[OIM]

Really feeling like a bit of a failure tonight. I’m back to work on Wednesday and never did I think we’d still be getting up 3-4 times a night with baby. She seems hungry when she wakes but also is rolling all over the place and gets so upset on her tummy. She’s room sharing with her toddler sister so don’t want to do any of the crying sleep training on her but do wonder if I’m getting it all wrong.

 

[WhatABore]

Really feeling like a bit of a failure tonight. I’m back to work on Wednesday and never did I think we’d still be getting up 3-4 times a night with baby. She seems hungry when she wakes but also is rolling all over the place and gets so upset on her tummy. She’s room sharing with her toddler sister so don’t want to do any of the crying sleep training on her but do wonder if I’m getting it all wrong.

How old is she?

I'm sure @Definitelyme can comment on the sleep as I remember her saying it took a long time for hers to sleep through!

You're not doing anything wrong at all!

 

[OIM]

How old is she?

I'm sure @Definitelyme can comment on the sleep as I remember her saying it took a long time for hers to sleep through!

You're not doing anything wrong at all!

She was 7 months yesterday. Last night was particularly bad. She woke at 1.30 and didn’t go back to sleep until nearly 4 and that was in with me and then is awake and up now at 5.45. I am secretly hoping starting nursery today will knacker her out so much she sleeps but think I may be being optimistic. Considering moving her cot into my spare room (currrntly husbands work from home office) and seeing if we can sleep train her. I had none of this trouble with my first which is probably why this feels so catastrophic this time! Also the thought of going to work on this little sleep is horrific.

 

[mg89]

Really feeling like a bit of a failure tonight. I’m back to work on Wednesday and never did I think we’d still be getting up 3-4 times a night with baby. She seems hungry when she wakes but also is rolling all over the place and gets so upset on her tummy. She’s room sharing with her toddler sister so don’t want to do any of the crying sleep training on her but do wonder if I’m getting it all wrong.

In a similar situation, I'm back middle of october so have a bit of time left but we still have multiple times a night and he's 8 months. It's so tough - not sure how I am going to manage a very demanding job with the broken sleep! I knwo my partner will help but will still be tough. Hoping that when we move baby into his own room - just waiting for the blinds to arrive - that he will sleep better. Sending love and solidarity!!

 

[Definitelyme]

@OIM @WhatABore is right, mine are horrendous sleepers. I remember going back to work and my eldest was then 17 months and waking several times a night and I was like a zombie.

I don’t think that there is much to be done, sadly. If she’s hungry then there isn’t any way to stop that. Hopefully the rolling part eases in the next few weeks.

What I would suggest is making your time at home as easy as possible so you aren’t rushing home worrying about doing it all when you are already knackered. So I found getting shopping delivered, using the slow cooker, and hiring a cleaner were essential back then. It meant when I came home exhausted, and still had a full night of work ahead of me, the house wasn’t also in disarray. You can’t change work, you can’t change her sleep, so trying to sort out the other bits is what helps me x

 

[mg89]

@OIM @WhatABore is right, mine are horrendous sleepers. I remember going back to work and my eldest was then 17 months and waking several times a night and I was like a zombie.

I don’t think that there is much to be done, sadly. If she’s hungry then there isn’t any way to stop that. Hopefully the rolling part eases in the next few weeks.

What I would suggest is making your time at home as easy as possible so you aren’t rushing home worrying about doing it all when you are already knackered. So I found getting shopping delivered, using the slow cooker, and hiring a cleaner were essential back then. It meant when I came home exhausted, and still had a full night of work ahead of me, the house wasn’t also in disarray. You can’t change work, you can’t change her sleep, so trying to sort out the other bits is what helps me x

Great advice, I have been thinking about getting a cleaner. We utilise the slow cooker weekly but think that as winter draws in, we will use it even more. I guess one positive from being at work is that the house won't become a tip every day!

 

[Definitelyme]

Great advice, I have been thinking about getting a cleaner. We utilise the slow cooker weekly but think that as winter draws in, we will use it even more. I guess one positive from being at work is that the house won't become a tip every day!

I know they can be expensive, but honestly if you can do get a cleaner. I loved knowing I didn’t have to clean upstairs or hoover and mop it at all during the week, and only just keep a top up on our downstairs. It made life (especially at the weekend) so much less stressful, just takes away one thing but one thing which can eat a lot of your time. Hopefully that’ll leave you more time to sit down and rest in the evenings!

 

[OIM]

@OIM @WhatABore is right, mine are horrendous sleepers. I remember going back to work and my eldest was then 17 months and waking several times a night and I was like a zombie.

I don’t think that there is much to be done, sadly. If she’s hungry then there isn’t any way to stop that. Hopefully the rolling part eases in the next few weeks.

What I would suggest is making your time at home as easy as possible so you aren’t rushing home worrying about doing it all when you are already knackered. So I found getting shopping delivered, using the slow cooker, and hiring a cleaner were essential back then. It meant when I came home exhausted, and still had a full night of work ahead of me, the house wasn’t also in disarray. You can’t change work, you can’t change her sleep, so trying to sort out the other bits is what helps me x

Thank you. It really helps to know it can be done. We have a cleaner every 2 weeks and will try and find some slow cooker recipes. I feel like you’re the first person to accept shes just a bad sleeper and it’s not because of something I have or haven’t done. Every time I mention it to anyone they make a million suggestions of what I should try- almost none of which fit around having a toddler!

Great advice, I have been thinking about getting a cleaner. We utilise the slow cooker weekly but think that as winter draws in, we will use it even more. I guess one positive from being at work is that the house won't become a tip every day!

Ha ha I keep finding funny positives like this too- like I won’t have to wash all the bottles before bed because she will only have her bedtime milk and then the rest won’t have been used in the day!

 

[mg89]

I know they can be expensive, but honestly if you can do get a cleaner. I loved knowing I didn’t have to clean upstairs or hoover and mop it at all during the week, and only just keep a top up on our downstairs. It made life (especially at the weekend) so much less stressful, just takes away one thing but one thing which can eat a lot of your time. Hopefully that’ll leave you more time to sit down and rest in the evenings!

We only have a 2 bed flat but I just feel like it's impossible to keep really on top of the little bits and bobs like deep cleans, skirting boards etc. Will pitch it to the other half!

Thank you. It really helps to know it can be done. We have a cleaner every 2 weeks and will try and find some slow cooker recipes. I feel like you’re the first person to accept shes just a bad sleeper and it’s not because of something I have or haven’t done. Every time I mention it to anyone they make a million suggestions of what I should try- almost none of which fit around having a toddler!


Ha ha I keep finding funny positives like this too- like I won’t have to wash all the bottles before bed because she will only have her bedtime milk and then the rest won’t have been used in the day!

Haha I am with you on the bottle washing! I can't stand it!

 

[littlepup]

Really feeling like a bit of a failure tonight. I’m back to work on Wednesday and never did I think we’d still be getting up 3-4 times a night with baby. She seems hungry when she wakes but also is rolling all over the place and gets so upset on her tummy. She’s room sharing with her toddler sister so don’t want to do any of the crying sleep training on her but do wonder if I’m getting it all wrong.

Similar here. My little girl is 7 months and has gone from sleeping through mega early on to one feed at 3 to waking 3-4 times a night hungry - going in reverse! She won’t go to sleep before 10 either no matter when her last nap was. I’m a nighttime insomniac so getting no sleep

We’re now trying self settling. I usually grab & feed her the second she makes a noise to not wake OH but last week he’s gone in the spare room & I’ve tried leaving her to self settle. Not cry but let her grunt and moan for just a few mins that I usually wouldn’t & she’s only properly waking 1-2x instead of the usual. We’ve only had it for 4 nights so maybe coincidence but I’ll let you know how we go.

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Had our 6 week check today, can't believe how much little lady weighs now chunky monkey haha! We've been referred to the peadatrician for her belly issues and her head tilts to one side when shes resting so that could be related to the shoulder dystocia at birth

 

[mg89]

Similar here. My little girl is 7 months and has gone from sleeping through mega early on to one feed at 3 to waking 3-4 times a night hungry - going in reverse! She won’t go to sleep before 10 either no matter when her last nap was. I’m a nighttime insomniac so getting no sleep

We’re now trying self settling. I usually grab & feed her the second she makes a noise to not wake OH but last week he’s gone in the spare room & I’ve tried leaving her to self settle. Not cry but let her grunt and moan for just a few mins that I usually wouldn’t & she’s only properly waking 1-2x instead of the usual. We’ve only had it for 4 nights so maybe coincidence but I’ll let you know how we go.

Self settling does make the difference - my little one will cry out and moan etc but there are times when he will go back. I do jump up too quickly now I think, even 8 months in. Hoping that this will get easier when he's in his own room. My little boy has needed a 2nd feed for the last week or so and we had dropped it for a while. Hoping he drops it again soon!

Had our 6 week check today, can't believe how much little lady weighs now chunky monkey haha! We've been referred to the peadatrician for her belly issues and her head tilts to one side when shes resting so that could be related to the shoulder dystocia at birth

Glad they've referred you on - hopefully not too long for an appointment!

 

[Upintheair83]

So does anyone know much about hernias? My health visitor came out for his 6 week check and I asked her why his belly button stuck out so much. She said it could be a hernia get the gp to look at it when he has his vaccines! When I pressed her on it she didn't want to say anything more, or even try and explain what I is! I'm going out of my mind with worry now.
It does stick out and awful lot,I don't want anything to be wrong with him. Has anyone had any experience of this? Xxxx

 

[Hbirdette]

So does anyone know much about hernias? My health visitor came out for his 6 week check and I asked her why his belly button stuck out so much. She said it could be a hernia get the gp to look at it when he has his vaccines! When I pressed her on it she didn't want to say anything more, or even try and explain what I is! I'm going out of my mind with worry now.
It does stick out and awful lot,I don't want anything to be wrong with him. Has anyone had any experience of this? Xxxx

Hey! My little one had an umbilical hernia, I honestly wouldn’t worry. They don’t do anything at this age for them unless it goes red/sore which is a sign of infection but in general they fix themselves. My little boys hernia disappeared when he was about 12 weeks old. It freaked me out but it was fine.

 

[Definitelyme]

I feel like you’re the first person to accept shes just a bad sleeper and it’s not because of something I have or haven’t done. Every time I mention it to anyone they make a million suggestions of what I should try- almost none of which fit around having a toddler!

Ahh well if you’re doing something wrong to make her not sleep I’ve been doing it all wrong for 8yrs I’m not a great sleeper myself (even pre-kids) so I don’t then think it’s weird that my kids don’t sleep well. I suppose I could try and do something to make them self settle but tbh… I’m lazy I stopped talking to people about my kids’ sleep years ago for the same reasons. When people ask “are you getting any sleep?” I always just smile and say “Yes, thankfully”.

Had our 6 week check today, can't believe how much little lady weighs now chunky monkey haha! We've been referred to the peadatrician for her belly issues and her head tilts to one side when shes resting so that could be related to the shoulder dystocia at birth

Glad to hear she’s growing so well hopefully you get seen soon