sorry to ask another question, how do you work it so that only one person is up in the night for the change and feed? At the moment we’ve been both getting up and one changes while one goes and sorts the bottle then one of us will feed him after he’s changed. I can’t imagine staying asleep while my husband did all this. Baby screams while being changed cause he’s hungry and then making a bottle with him would be difficult too. Just having figured out the logistics of it yet.
New baby and post birth advice #3
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I think it takes time but now I'm pretty good at mostly going back to sleep when he does a night feed. I always wake when baby does but if he gets up to sort him, I often fall back to sleep. We don't do nappy changes in the night now and just hope for the best, so he's just fussing until he gets a bottle in his mouth! How old is your little one? If they're just weeing, would you try not changing them?
We are moving baby into his own room, next week probably, which I think will help with me being able to get back to sleep when my other half does a night feed.
Don’t worry! So if my husband was up With the baby I wouldn’t stay asleep cause I wake up at the slightest noise he makes but if I’m honest, once baby starts to stir, I pop downstairs and make a bottle - when he was very young he would scream and my husband would hold him and soothe him then when I got back upstairs I would feed him, take him into his room and change him. And then pop him back down. My husband falls to sleep very quickly so it never really bothered him but I didn’t trust him to do the night feeds. He got too impatient with winding him then it would be yours truly who would be dealing with him
You might be reading this thinking that wouldn’t work for you but it’s kind of just fell into this for us and seems to do the trick for now!
We've always done it so I change her whilst my partner makes the bottle and then he comes and feeds them and I'll go back to sleep
Your both lucky. My husband refuses to do night feeds/waking. He stays asleep while I change/feed baby.
Honestly I still get cross with my husband but he is so much more proactive with our 3 year old than the baby. Like today when we are in hopsital another night he has just stepped up and sorted everything for the 3 yr old and I don’t feel stressed about it whereas if I leave him with the baby my stress levels go sky high and I can’t relax xIt’s our first big event Saturday without baby. I’m a stone+ heavier, body shape has changed, I’ve got bloody dermatitis on my hairline - let’s say I don’t feel great… I feel 100x more elegant & presentable when my nails are done so since last Sat I’ve asked OH for a solid hour where I won’t need to touch her to do them. It hasn’t happened so I decided at 1am this morning when everyone was in bed to do them. Of course she woke half way through. OH, who this week has had 3hrs football, a hair cut & 6 more hrs football tomorrow, laid next to her, didn’t stir. I now have gel nails full of fluff and bits.
Obviously it’s not about the nails. It makes me feel so deflated. He’s usually such a supportive, present person and me non demanding. I know he need chill time too but it’s so unbalanced. We’ve talked about it many times but here we are.
Does it get easier as they get older in terms of shared responsibility parenting? Admittedly BF she is more reliant on me.
Also keen for a baby @OIM update 
I know it’s harder to split nights when breastfeeding, but honestly my husband hasn’t ever done a single thing during the night
he tried with our eldest but I had to be up to feed anyway so seemed pointless me waking him too (because he wouldn’t wake himself!). He is well aware how lucky he is
for his sins, he is the one who cleans up vomit in our house!
I know it’s harder to split nights when breastfeeding, but honestly my husband hasn’t ever done a single thing during the night
he tried with our eldest but I had to be up to feed anyway so seemed pointless me waking him too (because he wouldn’t wake himself!). He is well aware how lucky he is for his sins, he is the one who cleans up vomit in our house!Ok I feel like I’ve used up all my advice time for today but I’m feeling a bit lost today. Feel like I don’t know what I’m doing at all. Baby falls asleep on me and only me. If I try to pop him in his bassinet so I can go to the toilet or something he wakes up and then doesn’t sleep til his next feed. I feel like he’s awake far too much for a two week old, he’ll just chill there for a bit. He only starts being fussy or crying when he’s hungry. He also gets hiccups a lot which makes going back to sleep harder. I don’t know whether it’s ok for him to be awake so much. He was awake 10:15-1:15 today and he did drop off for 10 mins somewhere in there but then I moved and he woke up and that was it.
Also feel clueless about as he grows, what naps he’ll need. Like I don’t know what good routines are per age and how I’m supposed to know when to put him down for a nap and stuff. Ugh I just feel totally clueless.
Also feel clueless about as he grows, what naps he’ll need. Like I don’t know what good routines are per age and how I’m supposed to know when to put him down for a nap and stuff. Ugh I just feel totally clueless.
No advice sadly Kitt as I’m feeling as lost as you today. I’m taking comfort in that I think it’s quite normal with your first to feel overwhelmed.
I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet today as I literally can’t put him down without him screaming. I’m tracking his feeds and he has been on the boob 16 times today whereas it’s normally 10 times in 24 hours. Lots of tears of him and me today!
Just got to keep going- we can do this
I had no idea and still don’t. My baby just doesn’t sleep like they’re ‘supposed’ to and as a family we don’t have any routine so I’ve yet to implement one.
I personally don’t think you can get a tiny baby into a routine but that is apparently very wrong.
On Instagram though there’s Nannylouenna and she has routines in her highlights. I think I will try this soonish (I’m currently contact napping with her at 6pm
Because she won’t sleep today) They might help - people seem to swear by them. She has lots of other free info too.Attachments
No advice either I’m afraid, also having a trouble figuring out naps so will follow the answers keenly! I’m not fussed about a routine really, they seem quite regimented and she still likes to feed inconsistently throughout the day, so I’m taking cues from her with regards to feeding but the naps have thrown me because nothing works. We’ve managed a grand total of 57 minutes in 10 hours
Hang in there though, it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job!Every single baby is different and there isn't a correct amount of sleep for them to have. If baby is tired, theyll pass out eventually. It isn't bad for them to not have 'enough' sleep.
My baby up until 3 months would only sleep on me or my partner, right from the start.
Yet my second would rarely sleep on someone.
Even at 5 months now, she naps for around an hour in total throughout the day. But according to what they're "supposed to do" at 5 months, they say they should sleep around 4-5 hours during the day.
Never happens!
I haven't got much advice in what to do though, sorry. As I ended up just letting her sleep on me constantly
@Kitt @Ilando @littlepup @LilyRose1234
The fact all 4 of you are having the same worries goes to show just how normal it is
With my eldest I found that she fell in to her own nap routine, and by watching her I was able to figure it out, but she would have been maybe 6 months before that happened. So I noticed she would be getting tired at 9am every day, so that became a nap time. She’d sleep for half an hour, then at 12 she would be tired again… so that became another nap time.
But not every baby will be that regimented, like @WhatABore says they are all different and work their own way. Some work more like my current baby who is up for approx 1.5-2hrs, then he needs a sleep, rather than specific times of day.
Just keep watching for sleepy cues, and as soon as you see them settle them for a nap. They’ll let you know if they aren’t ready to sleep.
@Kitt if Finn is contented being awake for 3hrs, roll with it! And it is absolutely 100% normal for him to only want to sleep on you. You are all he has ever known, you are his safe spot, and his favourite comfort blanket
Above all ladies, try not to wreck yourselves worrying. It really is one of those things that you can destroy yourself over, the worry over sleep can be immense. But it all works out, they will let you know what they need if you listen out. And then just when you have it all sorted, the tiny buggars change it all up again
The fact all 4 of you are having the same worries goes to show just how normal it is
With my eldest I found that she fell in to her own nap routine, and by watching her I was able to figure it out, but she would have been maybe 6 months before that happened. So I noticed she would be getting tired at 9am every day, so that became a nap time. She’d sleep for half an hour, then at 12 she would be tired again… so that became another nap time.
But not every baby will be that regimented, like @WhatABore says they are all different and work their own way. Some work more like my current baby who is up for approx 1.5-2hrs, then he needs a sleep, rather than specific times of day.
Just keep watching for sleepy cues, and as soon as you see them settle them for a nap. They’ll let you know if they aren’t ready to sleep.
@Kitt if Finn is contented being awake for 3hrs, roll with it! And it is absolutely 100% normal for him to only want to sleep on you. You are all he has ever known, you are his safe spot, and his favourite comfort blanket
Above all ladies, try not to wreck yourselves worrying. It really is one of those things that you can destroy yourself over, the worry over sleep can be immense. But it all works out, they will let you know what they need if you listen out. And then just when you have it all sorted, the tiny buggars change it all up again
Also to add that when they get older, they'll fall into their own routine with it too usually. Or you'll at least pick it up.
My second, always had 1 nap about an hour long anywhere between 12 and 2. She fell into that routine herself. And then she just didn't nap after the age of 1.
Where as my first, had 2 naps a day that were 1-2 hours long until he was 1 and then he cut himself down to 1 nap about 2 hours long until he was about 2 and a half.
So it really is dependant upon the child.
So don't worry, it'll all fall into place
The drs aren’t saying much but one of the nurses reckon she’s getting over bronchiolitis. She has a hacking cough but no infection markers in her blood and chest is clear. She reckons the congestion is what’s stopping her feeding. She pulled her feeding tube out at about 4pm and they’re now letting me try feeding her by bottle overnight but if she doesn’t feed well the tube is going back in.
Honestly, I felt exactly the same in terms of not knowing what to expect for naps. Not everyone may agree with me but I believe that you will soon just “know”. It wasn’t overnight with me either but trust me, absolutely no one knows your baby like you do and you will soon fall into some sort of pattern.
Thank you everyone for all the support and info. I’m just gonna go with the flow with Finn and let him tell me how he’s doing and what he needs and try not to worry what the general rule is. I struggle with worrying about doing stuff wrong and my anxiety means I like to be in control and if I don’t know what I’m doing I spiral. Anxiety is worse when I’m tired so this is why I’m like this today. I love Finn, I’m a good mom and I can do this. It’s just new and I’m learning every day. I mustn’t be too hard on myself anymore. Thank you for allowing me to ask lots of questions. I get much more info off here than anywhere else. My mom is a firm believer of ‘let them cry’ so I don’t ask her for advice and I don’t really have anyone else to ask so I appreciate you all a lot. 
You're doing great.Thank you everyone for all the support and info. I’m just gonna go with the flow with Finn and let him tell me how he’s doing and what he needs and try not to worry what the general rule is. I struggle with worrying about doing stuff wrong and my anxiety means I like to be in control and if I don’t know what I’m doing I spiral. Anxiety is worse when I’m tired so this is why I’m like this today. I love Finn, I’m a good mom and I can do this. It’s just new and I’m learning every day. I mustn’t be too hard on myself anymore. Thank you for allowing me to ask lots of questions. I get much more info off here than anywhere else. My mom is a firm believer of ‘let them cry’ so I don’t ask her for advice and I don’t really have anyone else to ask so I appreciate you all a lot.
I totally agree with @mg89, you are doing wonderfully. I always think the best mums are the ones who worry about this stuff because they are the mums who just care SO much. And you can’t do more than that.Thank you everyone for all the support and info. I’m just gonna go with the flow with Finn and let him tell me how he’s doing and what he needs and try not to worry what the general rule is. I struggle with worrying about doing stuff wrong and my anxiety means I like to be in control and if I don’t know what I’m doing I spiral. Anxiety is worse when I’m tired so this is why I’m like this today. I love Finn, I’m a good mom and I can do this. It’s just new and I’m learning every day. I mustn’t be too hard on myself anymore. Thank you for allowing me to ask lots of questions. I get much more info off here than anywhere else. My mom is a firm believer of ‘let them cry’ so I don’t ask her for advice and I don’t really have anyone else to ask so I appreciate you all a lot.
Motherhood is so hard, a constant learning curve. I think we are all still learning no matter how long we’ve been doing it
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