New baby and post birth advice #27 Hammy clammy crevices

[Cucumberthunder]

Just had a bit of a sobbing meltdown, I have potentially lost my job WFH which is 90% of my income and we were already struggling badly with finances as is. I really have no idea what to do but I was carrying tommy at the time and he was having a paddy as usual, he stopped went silent and cuddled me and he has done it ever since

I feel like the worst mum in the world, im supposed to look after him not the other way around

Sorry to hear your news and I hope things look brighter soon.

How wonderful that you've raised a child with such emotional intelligence so young.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Just had a bit of a sobbing meltdown, I have potentially lost my job WFH which is 90% of my income and we were already struggling badly with finances as is. I really have no idea what to do but I was carrying tommy at the time and he was having a paddy as usual, he stopped went silent and cuddled me and he has done it ever since

I feel like the worst mum in the world, im supposed to look after him not the other way around

Oh Lantern. I'm so sorry. Are you entitled to UC to bridge a gap?
I know its easier said than done but don't feel guilty, he won't remember it you are not the worst mum.
Please don't suffer we are here for you.
Sending you lots of love

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I left a management role at a national charity and took a big step down in responsibility and pay. I frame it like I'm more passionate about my new org (true) and that it will be much less stressful (also true, but only needed because I didn't think I could handle work + family stress) to make it seem like a positive step. But it doesn't feel like it with over £1k less per month coming in with a lower base salary and only working 30hrs/week. Then there's the lack of career opportunities. In my last place there was a clear route upwards.

What's really annoying is that my husband doesn't even like his job, whereas I've always been keen to enjoy my career. So he complains about work and I'm like... I gave you the option to be the one to reduce everything, but you didn't want to ask...

 

[Kaylarina]

Ahhh I’m so jealous, I used to be obsessed with Scrubs and wanted to be a surgeon, although turns out I’m quite squeamish so maybe not for me after all

My obsession started by watching ER when I was little. I have to say I never thought I was squeamish but the first actual op I was in thankfully got past it unless it’s a brain. There’s just something about brains that I just can’t do….probably the reason I never went into neuro

Just had a bit of a sobbing meltdown, I have potentially lost my job WFH which is 90% of my income and we were already struggling badly with finances as is. I really have no idea what to do but I was carrying tommy at the time and he was having a paddy as usual, he stopped went silent and cuddled me and he has done it ever since

I feel like the worst mum in the world, im supposed to look after him not the other way around

You’re in no way the worst mum. It just proves how in tune Tommy is with you. He knew mummy needed a cuddle. Got everything crossed for you that you can find something/get everything sorted asap.

 

[Definitelyme]

Just had a bit of a sobbing meltdown, I have potentially lost my job WFH which is 90% of my income and we were already struggling badly with finances as is. I really have no idea what to do but I was carrying tommy at the time and he was having a paddy as usual, he stopped went silent and cuddled me and he has done it ever since

I feel like the worst mum in the world, im supposed to look after him not the other way around

So sorry to hear this
Families look after each other, Tommy is looking after you when you need it x

 

[LilyRose1234]

Just had a bit of a sobbing meltdown, I have potentially lost my job WFH which is 90% of my income and we were already struggling badly with finances as is. I really have no idea what to do but I was carrying tommy at the time and he was having a paddy as usual, he stopped went silent and cuddled me and he has done it ever since

I feel like the worst mum in the world, im supposed to look after him not the other way around

Sorry to hear about your job, fingers crossed you can get something else. You’re absolutely not the worst mum ever, you can’t always hold your emotions in (and tbh that’s not healthy!!) and sounds like he knew exactly what you needed

 

[Dak1988]

Just had a bit of a sobbing meltdown, I have potentially lost my job WFH which is 90% of my income and we were already struggling badly with finances as is. I really have no idea what to do but I was carrying tommy at the time and he was having a paddy as usual, he stopped went silent and cuddled me and he has done it ever since

I feel like the worst mum in the world, im supposed to look after him not the other way around

So sorry to hear this you are definitely not the worst mum in the world! Xxx

 

[Lulu Goss]

Just had a bit of a sobbing meltdown, I have potentially lost my job WFH which is 90% of my income and we were already struggling badly with finances as is. I really have no idea what to do but I was carrying tommy at the time and he was having a paddy as usual, he stopped went silent and cuddled me and he has done it ever since

I feel like the worst mum in the world, im supposed to look after him not the other way around

So sorry to hear this, bless little Tommy - giving you a cuddle when he knew you needed it! Don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault at all, and hopefully you’ll be able to find something similar xx

 

[jackolantern]

Thanks guys, he's back to the Tommy show now so normality is resumed, at least in this sea of tit I can rely on him to give me some routine

My obsession started by watching ER when I was little. I have to say I never thought I was squeamish but the first actual op I was in thankfully got past it unless it’s a brain. There’s just something about brains that I just can’t do….probably the reason I never went into neuro

You’re in no way the worst mum. It just proves how in tune Tommy is with you. He knew mummy needed a cuddle. Got everything crossed for you that you can find something/get everything sorted asap.

Ah so good to see you back, I was wondering where you had skipped off too

 

[ThePidge]

@jackolantern you're the baddest lantern I’ve ever come into contact with. You will absolutely get through this, it’s a huge bump in the road but you sound so strong and you’re an incredible mum just by expressing your worry on here! Don’t ever put yourself down girl, keep that candle a burnin’

If little pidge isn’t shitting, she’s puking. Today is just the biggest what the duck.
I’ve managed to get 5oz in her before her nap but I know she’s going to puke it up. Called the doctors and they’re saying monitor her.. nice one

should I continue to give her, her meals? She had lunch and it ended up on me and I smell so damn bad

 

[I’mThankyou_]

@jackolantern you're the baddest lantern I’ve ever come into contact with. You will absolutely get through this, it’s a huge bump in the road but you sound so strong and you’re an incredible mum just by expressing your worry on here! Don’t ever put yourself down girl, keep that candle a burnin’

If little pidge isn’t shitting, she’s puking. Today is just the biggest what the duck.
I’ve managed to get 5oz in her before her nap but I know she’s going to puke it up. Called the doctors and they’re saying monitor her.. nice one

should I continue to give her, her meals? She had lunch and it ended up on me and I smell so damn bad

Keep her fluids up 100%, dont worry about solids too much. Even if she's bringing it back up (which is horrible for you both she's atleast getting a little bit)
Can you get any diorlyte (spelling) in it'll help keep her energy levels up if she's spewing like mad

 

[Definitelyme]

@jackolantern you're the baddest lantern I’ve ever come into contact with. You will absolutely get through this, it’s a huge bump in the road but you sound so strong and you’re an incredible mum just by expressing your worry on here! Don’t ever put yourself down girl, keep that candle a burnin’

If little pidge isn’t shitting, she’s puking. Today is just the biggest what the duck.
I’ve managed to get 5oz in her before her nap but I know she’s going to puke it up. Called the doctors and they’re saying monitor her.. nice one

should I continue to give her, her meals? She had lunch and it ended up on me and I smell so damn bad

BRAT - bananas rice apple toast Those are what’s recommended for recovery (and I guess during) stomach bugs. I would offer meals and drinks as usual, and not worry if she doesn’t want to take any food. It’s miserable when they have a sickness bug, but not much to be done unfortunately except try and give lots of sips of liquid, and lots of cuddles (and lots of washing accompanies it too.)

 

[WhatABore]

No one is safe, honestly. Even my local chippy had a note on their car a few days ago as I couldn't get the pram past
I've always been a complainer, and I love a good complaint letter but since having the twins I've gotten really bad, I especially like to use the phrase "we live in a man's world, that is not only inaccessible for the working woman raising a young family but is also inaccessible for the parents of multiples and children very close in age" that's raised a few eyebrows
I'd say I need a hobby, but as Mr TY pointed out recently when he caught the postman delivering me yet another complaint response this is clearly my hobby

I'm another that likes to complain.
As long as its not face to face

I remember when someone parked so close to my car that I couldnt even open my door. The only paper I had was a gruffalo shaped note pad. So I wrote a stern message on a gruffalo shaped piece of paper and stuck it on his car

I always get excited when I get the chance to beep someone in the car too

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I'm another that likes to complain.
As long as its not face to face

I remember when someone parked so close to my car that I couldnt even open my door. The only paper I had was a gruffalo shaped note pad. So I wrote a stern message on a gruffalo shaped piece of paper and stuck it on his car

I always get excited when I get the chance to beep someone in the car too

Oh I love a good passive aggressive beep! And shouting through my window

 

[Cucumberthunder]

@jackolantern you're the baddest lantern I’ve ever come into contact with. You will absolutely get through this, it’s a huge bump in the road but you sound so strong and you’re an incredible mum just by expressing your worry on here! Don’t ever put yourself down girl, keep that candle a burnin’

If little pidge isn’t shitting, she’s puking. Today is just the biggest what the duck.
I’ve managed to get 5oz in her before her nap but I know she’s going to puke it up. Called the doctors and they’re saying monitor her.. nice one

should I continue to give her, her meals? She had lunch and it ended up on me and I smell so damn bad

We had similar, turns out it was because we changed his formula... from stage 1 to 2. DOH!

Anyway when we thought it was a bug the doctor advised us to give sips of formula every 5 minutes and wait 24 hours before offering anything else.

Now clearly that doctor had never met a baby because they don't understand sips, either they want it or they don't. But they basically said if you offer little and often then it's less likely to trigger the stomach and generally means at least some is getting in

They also prescribed piriton which has some anti-sickness properties. Although we didn't use it. You need to get it on prescription for under 1s.

The other thing suggested (different doctor) when we thought it was left over mucus from a cold was to put the cot on a slight angle. This would stop the mucus pooling and triggering coughing and eventual vomiting.

Vomming babies are not fun. Baby cucumber's bedroom floor was covered in towels for a solid month.

 

[Belle Amie]

Has anyone used Ashton and parsons gel? How often did you use it, it says up to 4 times a day but did you space it a certain amount of hours through the day?
And when did you use it, when they seem in pain or before?

I should’ve said this is for teething! He’s been crying on and off today I’ve used it he’s calmed but seems like the pains coming back already

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

KW alert...

Asked KW to watch Baby O for a bit when she got up from her nap at 3.30 - I have a writing task and a presentation to do for my interview on Monday and I need a couple of hours to focus on it. It's now 5.30 and so far he has...
- Had 2 epic poos and left her with me
- Been so busy on his phone he's not noticed her throw up over herself and the sofa
- Asked me to fetch her bottle for him
- Ignored her crying through the baby monitor to get up from her nap

He might have to go in the bin.

 

[wakametango 2.0]

KW alert...

Asked KW to watch Baby O for a bit when she got up from her nap at 3.30 - I have a writing task and a presentation to do for my interview on Monday and I need a couple of hours to focus on it. It's now 5.30 and so far he has...
- Had 2 epic poos and left her with me
- Been so busy on his phone he's not noticed her throw up over herself and the sofa
- Asked me to fetch her bottle for him
- Ignored her crying through the baby monitor to get up from her nap

He might have to go in the bin.

When needing to concentrate to apply for my jobs he made so much noise it ended in me screaming at him. I hope you manage to get what you need done. Is there anyone else that could help if you’re completely pushed for time?

 

[Kaylarina]

Ah so good to see you back, I was wondering where you had skipped off too

It’s good to be back. I really missed this place!

 

[Lulu Goss]

So fed up this afternoon. Yesterday night KW went out and didn’t get home til gone midnight so on top of a full day with a grizzly teething baby, I did dinner/bathtime/bedtime on my own, she didn’t settle til gone 9 then I had to come down and wash up/sterilise bottles. At 11 he said he’d be home in half an hour so when I woke up at 12.30 and he wasn’t in I messaged him cos I was worried, which he ignored.

So I was already annoyed with him this morning. I had a client booked in for this evening and he said he’d be home in time to take baby while I worked. 40 mins before she was due to come and I still hadn’t heard from him, no idea whether he’d even left work yet (over an hours drive away), so I messaged her about moving her appointment. Luckily she was fine about it and has rearranged, but then he turned up 5 mins later! When I said about having no idea whether he was going to get back in time or if I’d be left with a client arriving and no one to take the baby, he just said oh sorry I forgot to message.

I’m so fed up of him not giving me a second thought. Is it that hard to message and let me know what’s happening? It’s not like I want a running commentary of his day, I genuinely needed to know when he was going to be home.

He seems genuinely baffled and almost irritated about why I’m upset which is making me more annoyed