New baby and post birth advice #27 Hammy clammy crevices

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
This should give you a rough idea, You're Scotland aren't you? Hopefully it's similar x
Thank you, yeah Scotland so I'll have a look!
 
Each to their own obviously, but I don’t think I could deal with sending the baby to nursery if I was just off to the gym for the day, there are so many mums at my gym who do this…maybe like 1 day a week but even so, I think I’d feel such guilt! Ask me again when I’ve started work 🤣🤣

You’ve all said it before but the childcare situation is so fucked in this country. It sounds like each and every one of us is having to compromise on what we want and what is best for our kids. Ideally, I’d have liked baby to go one less day a week but my job just isn’t do-able on less than full time, I just know I’d get passed by career wise (unless I magically climb ranks in the next few years and become senior enough to do what I want 😂) plus it’s just not financially worth it for us. Atm I’m doing 5 days in 4.5, i earn more money than mr B and he’s doing a 9 day fortnight so we’ll both get to spend some time with her. Not sure how we’d cope without the grandparents around either!

also very interested in the response re nannies/au pairs and nanny sharing. Tons of people I work with have nannies, but literally no idea on the realities of the costs and logistics of all of it…?!

we had this for a few days before testing positive 😩😭 hope this isn’t the case for you!
Haha I know me either, although I can’t complain I feel judged my other mums for working then judge them for not 🤣🤣 but I am defo jealous that they can spend more time with their babies in the afternoon etc! That said, I had a day off the other week and still sent her in for the morning, had a lovely relaxing few hours 🤣🤣

@I’mThankyou_ i would love to be a fly on your wall for one day, I think I’d be immensely entertained 😂 you should write a book with all your letters and tweets!

OK I’m caught up.
All this work chat actually breaks my heart, we’re all a very intelligent bunch of women who have trained/worked hard for our careers yet we’re the ones who have to make the sacrifices, all with a smile on our faces! They wonder why womens mental health are in the gutters after babies!

I’m doing 3 days a week 2 annual leave days with 9 hour days. I’m quite lucky that my company have been so flexible with me, but I know for a fact I’ll be doing more hours because my team are well,… my team… they’re all men.
It’s awful isn’t it, money aside it took me 7 years of study and work to qualify as a lawyer, so even if I could financially afford to stay off its then a huge career sacrifice, that still seems to primarily affect women.

I’d hope a female prime minister might be more willing to shake the system, but that’s clearly wishful thinking with this bunch in power!

Ah ok, we have no dribble or red cheeks but yeah maybe. She did a big sloppy 💩 last night. She’s a bit wobbly today so on hold to doctors for possible ear infection
Also, we’ve had similar a temp but no other symptoms and think (?) it’s teething related but so hard to tell!
 
Last edited:
  • Heart
Reactions: 1
No one is safe, honestly. Even my local chippy had a note on their car a few days ago as I couldn't get the pram past🤦🏻‍♀️
I've always been a complainer, and I love a good complaint letter but since having the twins I've gotten really bad, I especially like to use the phrase "we live in a man's world, that is not only inaccessible for the working woman raising a young family but is also inaccessible for the parents of multiples and children very close in age" that's raised a few eyebrows🤣
I'd say I need a hobby, but as Mr TY pointed out recently when he caught the postman delivering me yet another complaint response this is clearly my hobby🙈
I’m imagining you being like Joe Lycett when he is trolling companies online for his stand up shows 😂 Well done for calling out your MP!
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 7
No one is safe, honestly. Even my local chippy had a note on their car a few days ago as I couldn't get the pram past🤦🏻‍♀️
I've always been a complainer, and I love a good complaint letter but since having the twins I've gotten really bad, I especially like to use the phrase "we live in a man's world, that is not only inaccessible for the working woman raising a young family but is also inaccessible for the parents of multiples and children very close in age" that's raised a few eyebrows🤣
I'd say I need a hobby, but as Mr TY pointed out recently when he caught the postman delivering me yet another complaint response this is clearly my hobby🙈
You’re a hero to all!
I retract being a fly, I want to be your post woman now😂
I wish I’d known about this early as all I do is tweet and get blocked!
0A16F268-1D16-4BF9-879A-732FF6EB7AFC.gif


Nothing! Shes off her food so hopefully all signs are leading to teeth (no dribble or gnawing though 🤷🏼‍♀️)
We never got/get any dribble, only when she’s excited she dribbles, I’ve always wanted an excuse for lil pidge to wear a dribble bib as they’re cute 😂 gnawing however is very on and off!
It’s awful isn’t it, money aside it took me 7 years of study and work to qualify as a lawyer, so even if I could financially afford to stay off its then a huge career sacrifice, that still seems to primarily affect women.
I’d hope a female prime minister might be more willing to shake the system, but that’s clearly wishful thinking with this bunch in power!
It’s a joke! It’s like people think we study/work all these years to then throw is away willingly when it’s just far from the truth!
I genuinely love my job and I didn’t realise how much a baby would emotionally impact it!

Oh and need to add… I’m well and truly down a miss immy hole, nice one girls 😂
 
Last edited:
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 9
@I’mThankyou_ you’re my hero, my motto shall be “be more Thank You” from now on.

Only recently moved out of the civil service, where I think lobbying your MP is frowned upon, need to make the most of the freedom!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5
Day 3 of the holidays and we've already had an A&E trip with all 3 kids (hell on earth) and 1000000 arguments. Only another 5 1\2 weeks to go 🙃 Also think Arnie is teething. Surely 3 months is too young?! He's just gnawing on everything and has bright red cheeks
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 8
It’s awful isn’t it, money aside it took me 7 years of study and work to qualify as a lawyer, so even if I could financially afford to stay off its then a huge career sacrifice, that still seems to primarily affect women.

I’d hope a female prime minister might be more willing to shake the system, but that’s clearly wishful thinking with this bunch in power!
That’s exactly where I am. I’m lucky enough that we could financially afford for me to quit my job however I’ve been training for this for like 14 years if you include med school and I’ve wanted to do nothing but be a surgeon since I was little. So many friends have told me to stay at home or just switch specialities but I don’t want to put that all to waste (and I think I’m a pretty decent surgeon if I do say so myself!)
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 8
So that was a lot to catch up on, but that’s because … wait for it … I took all 4 kids swimming 😰 is there any more stressful 10 minutes than the post swim changing room 10 minutes? Plus all the family rooms were taken so all 5 of us in a teeny weeny one. Kids crammed in each corner and me in the middle handing stuff out 🤣

Working mum chat: I feel it right in my soul for each of you who has to choose between career and children. Not maybe having to give it all up (although certainly the case for some like @I’mThankyou_ ) but even having to choose to condense days, work longer hours, take pay cuts. Restricting your own ability to progress and be promoted in the future at the same time, in many cases.
And are any dads doing it? It falls on women. It always falls on us doesn’t it? It is almost unthinkable for a man to do it (although I’m sure plenty do 👌🏻 We just don’t hear about them). Another way women are carrying the load of family life, to the detriment of our own careers.
Luckily, I have no career ambitions 🙈 sub teaching works perfectly for me and I am happy to be able to do it, and also lucky to have the choice
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 16
I’ve just come to accept that I’ll never have a career. I had my first straight out of uni (lmao shouldn’t have bothered just got lumbered with a tit ton of debt) so carried on working in a supermarket to qualify for mat leave went back had another baby and now we can’t afford for me to work. When I eventually go back to work my job will have to work around school runs so I’ve never had a career and probably never will.
It’s quite sad really, like my husband will never have to think about those things because as mums we just take on that burden…

shout out to @I’mThankyou_ for fighting for our rights as mums!
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 10
I’ve just come to accept that I’ll never have a career. I had my first straight out of uni (lmao shouldn’t have bothered just got lumbered with a tit ton of debt) so carried on working in a supermarket to qualify for mat leave went back had another baby and now we can’t afford for me to work. When I eventually go back to work my job will have to work around school runs so I’ve never had a career and probably never will.
It’s quite sad really, like my husband will never have to think about those things because as mums we just take on that burden…

shout out to @I’mThankyou_ for fighting for our rights as mums!
When the kids are older you could go on to have the career you want! My mum studied and got her PhD while I was at school (I am the youngest), and went on to become a university lecturer, after years of staying at home with us.
Realistically, I’m not driven enough to do anything like that (read: I am lazy)
 
  • Like
Reactions: 8
I’ve just come to accept that I’ll never have a career. I had my first straight out of uni (lmao shouldn’t have bothered just got lumbered with a tit ton of debt) so carried on working in a supermarket to qualify for mat leave went back had another baby and now we can’t afford for me to work. When I eventually go back to work my job will have to work around school runs so I’ve never had a career and probably never will.
It’s quite sad really, like my husband will never have to think about those things because as mums we just take on that burden…
Just to add my mum worked as a cleaner and in supermarkets while we were young and went back to work when I was 9. She progressed until she was management level for the council and earned far more than my dad, she was the one who was able to take us away on holidays etc. feels like a long road but there is plenty of time to focus on your career when the children are settled and older in school!

When the kids are older you could go on to have the career you want! My mum studied and got her PhD while I was at school (I am the youngest), and went on to become a university lecturer, after years of staying at home with us.
Realistically, I’m not driven enough to do anything like that (read: I am lazy)
Go grandmama Me!
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 5
So that was a lot to catch up on, but that’s because … wait for it … I took all 4 kids swimming 😰 is there any more stressful 10 minutes than the post swim changing room 10 minutes? Plus all the family rooms were taken so all 5 of us in a teeny weeny one. Kids crammed in each corner and me in the middle handing stuff out 🤣
Friend, you are a superhero!!!!

I’ve just come to accept that I’ll never have a career. I had my first straight out of uni (lmao shouldn’t have bothered just got lumbered with a tit ton of debt) so carried on working in a supermarket to qualify for mat leave went back had another baby and now we can’t afford for me to work. When I eventually go back to work my job will have to work around school runs so I’ve never had a career and probably never will.
It’s quite sad really, like my husband will never have to think about those things because as mums we just take on that burden…

shout out to @I’mThankyou_ for fighting for our rights as mums!
I hear you on the debt! I fell pregnant accidentally at 19, I wanted to become a nurse. Thankfully I managed to get there but I ended up with a tit ton of debt and a career that says it's "flexible" and it wasn't. My parents were superstars so that I could start work after I qualified and we got into a routine so I didn't waste 3 years of my life in uni, but how many women don't have that option? Why do we have to settle? Even when their the main breadwinner of their family? Why should it fall on women? Because history dictates it? Because we live in a world where male privilege trumps all? It honestly angers me to no end, what was the point in fighting for women's rights when it comes to raising the next generation women are cast to the side in their careers, like @Kaylarina a surgeon, I've seen so many female Dr's at work be questioned WHY they want to start a family and would their career choice work along side it and maybe they should consider a speciality such as Derm because its considered family friendly. Imagine saying that to a man.
Right I'm getting off my soap box else I'll be writing a complaint letter to the UN about women's human rights in no time🤣🤣🤣
This is why Mr TY says yes to deployment, 🤣 hes sick of hearing it, though hed give up his job in a heartbeat, he's a feminist at heart.
 
Last edited:
  • Heart
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 11
Friend, you are a superhero!!!!
Hardest bit was making sure the families in the changing room either side didn’t hear my whispered threats at them so we presented as cool, calm and collected 🤣

eta: threats were at my kids, not poor, unsuspecting other swimmers.
 
Last edited:
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 13
When the kids are older you could go on to have the career you want! My mum studied and got her PhD while I was at school (I am the youngest), and went on to become a university lecturer, after years of staying at home with us.
Realistically, I’m not driven enough to do anything like that (read: I am lazy)
Nana TY did exactly the same as Mama Me!
I am the CEO of lazy town these days
 
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 8
I’ve just come to accept that I’ll never have a career. I had my first straight out of uni (lmao shouldn’t have bothered just got lumbered with a tit ton of debt) so carried on working in a supermarket to qualify for mat leave went back had another baby and now we can’t afford for me to work. When I eventually go back to work my job will have to work around school runs so I’ve never had a career and probably never will.
It’s quite sad really, like my husband will never have to think about those things because as mums we just take on that burden…

shout out to @I’mThankyou_ for fighting for our rights as mums!
I think it’s different if you start before having a baby maybe. My mum did her degree part time while I was a baby/toddler, then started working as a teacher, took a few years off when she had twins, and by the time I was 14 she was deputy head of a large private school in London, so defo more than possible to start a career post baby!! (Also probably possible to drop a career then pick it back up - either scenario is just hard bloody work and feels unfair that it’s predominantly women who struggle!)

That’s exactly where I am. I’m lucky enough that we could financially afford for me to quit my job however I’ve been training for this for like 14 years if you include med school and I’ve wanted to do nothing but be a surgeon since I was little. So many friends have told me to stay at home or just switch specialities but I don’t want to put that all to waste (and I think I’m a pretty decent surgeon if I do say so myself!)
Ahhh I’m so jealous, I used to be obsessed with Scrubs and wanted to be a surgeon, although turns out I’m quite squeamish so maybe not for me after all 🤣
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 4
Just had a bit of a sobbing meltdown, I have potentially lost my job WFH which is 90% of my income and we were already struggling badly with finances as is. I really have no idea what to do but I was carrying tommy at the time and he was having a paddy as usual, he stopped went silent and cuddled me and he has done it ever since 😭

I feel like the worst mum in the world, im supposed to look after him not the other way around 😔
 
  • Heart
  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: 29
Friend, you are a superhero!!!!


I hear you on the debt! I fell pregnant accidentally at 19, I wanted to become a nurse. Thankfully I managed to get there but I ended up with a tit ton of debt and a career that says it's "flexible" and it wasn't. My parents were superstars so that I could start work after I qualified and we got into a routine so I didn't waste 3 years of my life in uni, but how many women don't have that option? Why do we have to settle? Even when their the main breadwinner of their family? Why should it fall on women? Because history dictates it? Because we live in a world where male privilege trumps all? It honestly angers me to no end, what was the point in fighting for women's rights when it comes to raising the next generation women are cast to the side in their careers, like @Kaylarina a surgeon, I've seen so many female Dr's at work be questioned WHY they want to start a family and would their career choice work along side it and maybe they should consider a speciality such as Derm because its considered family friendly. Imagine saying that to a man.
Right I'm getting off my soap box else I'll be writing a complaint letter to the UN about women's human rights in no time🤣🤣🤣
This is why Mr TY says yes to deployment, 🤣 hes sick of hearing it, though hed give up his job in a heartbeat, he's a feminist at heart.
I think starting your own ‘pregnant then screwed’ esque movement would be a great for you!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.