New baby and post birth advice #27 Hammy clammy crevices

[onlyheretoorbit]

Sorry I’ve just skim read to catch up. Baby O is another one for blowing raspberries once the spoon is in her mouth and I also find it really annoys me. She’s 7.5 months so I’m wondering if it’s a stage.

Right so no one kill me please, but the last two nights I’ve slept like 9pm - 7am (night time sleep appears to be baby’s area of expertise) BUT I’m still so drained and tired and sad Mr O is off work this week so we went on a big dog walk yesterday which was nice but I was so tired I could barely speak after.

I’m currently tracking my mood/energy levels as I think it might be related to my cycle. The bouts of anger/irritability/overstimulation definitely don’t feel related to my bipolar so I’m wondering if my cycle has changed since having baby o and perhaps it’s just intense PMS. So far it seems to happen a few days before I ovulate. No idea what I’m going to do about it because the combined pill was making it worse but at least I’ll know what’s coming

 

[Dak1988]

Wow it’s actually crazy that we all feel the same and have the same issue around childcare/career, it’s so unfair!
It just makes me feel like I will be absolutely exhausted and not see my baby for four days. If it’s an office day I’ll have to leave at half 6 and probably not get home till 7 so literally god knows who will pick up the baby from nursery on those days. My work aren’t exactly the most flexible and they change the WFH rule when it suits them. I know it’s currently a 2 days in office 3 days at home rule but that will probably have changed by next year.
I probably need to just be a bit more assertive with them and say what I need.

 

[LongishCat]

Sorry I’ve just skim read to catch up. Baby O is another one for blowing raspberries once the spoon is in her mouth and I also find it really annoys me. She’s 7.5 months so I’m wondering if it’s a stage.

Right so no one kill me please, but the last two nights I’ve slept like 9pm - 7am (night time sleep appears to be baby’s area of expertise) BUT I’m still so drained and tired and sad Mr O is off work this week so we went on a big dog walk yesterday which was nice but I was so tired I could barely speak after.

I’m currently tracking my mood/energy levels as I think it might be related to my cycle. The bouts of anger/irritability/overstimulation definitely don’t feel related to my bipolar so I’m wondering if my cycle has changed since having baby o and perhaps it’s just intense PMS. So far it seems to happen a few days before I ovulate. No idea what I’m going to do about it because the combined pill was making it worse but at least I’ll know what’s coming

I posted almost the same thing yesterday!
Feeling very down, been PMS'ing a couple of weeks now. Have started taking the pill again since yesterday, hoping it'll help (I have PCOS and PMS pretty bad).
And Kitten also love to blow raspberries during meals now I always tell her that that's not nice and hold off from giving her her next spoon for a bit, but yesterday she spat a spoonful everywhere (including right in my face) and I got so frustrated I walked out. MrCat had to finish her meal.

Hope our babies get over it soon!

Edit: at first I went back to work full-time, but then switched to 4 days/week. Kitten goes to daycare everyday except on Friday.
In Belgium daycare isn't cheap, but definitely isn't that mindblowingly expensive. We pay 27 euros/day, we have to bring nappies and milk (powder), but other meals are provided. So compared to some of the rates I've seen on here, that's peanuts.
Usually rates are based on income, with a fixed minimum.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Sorry I’ve just skim read to catch up. Baby O is another one for blowing raspberries once the spoon is in her mouth and I also find it really annoys me. She’s 7.5 months so I’m wondering if it’s a stage.

Right so no one kill me please, but the last two nights I’ve slept like 9pm - 7am (night time sleep appears to be baby’s area of expertise) BUT I’m still so drained and tired and sad Mr O is off work this week so we went on a big dog walk yesterday which was nice but I was so tired I could barely speak after.

I’m currently tracking my mood/energy levels as I think it might be related to my cycle. The bouts of anger/irritability/overstimulation definitely don’t feel related to my bipolar so I’m wondering if my cycle has changed since having baby o and perhaps it’s just intense PMS. So far it seems to happen a few days before I ovulate. No idea what I’m going to do about it because the combined pill was making it worse but at least I’ll know what’s coming

Can you get your bloods checked for any anemia, low vit d, low b12? These can all too make you exhausted and feel incredibly sad. It could just be PMS but it could also be a deficiency that can easily be corrected with some supplements.

Re the working thing, as you all know I gave up my career because childcare costs were too high, I don't think any Tory government is ever going to work in favour of supporting working families truth be told, I don't even think a labour government would be much different.
I've said it before but the loss of sure start centres were a massive negative for working families. My brother attended a sure start nursery when he was younger and it cut my mums outgoings significantly.
We shouldn't have to chose between our jobs and raising the next generation same as we shouldn't be chosing heating or eating.
Mothers returning to work is one reason why PPD is so high its additional pressure you don't need whilst navigating the first few months of motherhood. It angers me and I could rage about it forever.
I also regularly troll my local Tory MP about this, because I'm jobless and have nothing better to do

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

I posted almost the same thing yesterday!
Feeling very down, been PMS'ing a couple of weeks now. Have started taking the pill again since yesterday, hoping it'll help (I have PCOS and PMS pretty bad).
And Kitten also love to blow raspberries during meals now I always tell her that that's not nice and hold off from giving her her next spoon for a bit, but yesterday she spat a spoonful everywhere (including right in my face) and I got so frustrated I walked out. MrCat had to finish her meal.

Hope our babies get over it soon!

Yes I’ve just got up and taken the food with me, and then offer some finger food instead. It’s hard because you know they’re just babies being babies but in the moment it really feels personal.

I hope the pill helps you - I know a lot of women found that taking the same combined hormones but in a different format like the patch really helped. That’s what I’m going to try but I just wanted to track it for a couple of months first. It’s bloody horrible, I feel like a totally different person when if happens.

Re childcare/work - baby o will be doing 3.5 days at nursery while I work 4 days (Mr O will have her for an afternoon when he’s not working) and basically after paying the bills, we’ll have literally nothing. But if I give up work we won’t be entitled to much because we’re married, so it’ll be the same as being on mat pay, which won’t even cover the bills. I’ve had to put savings aside to use to top up my mat pay until I go back. It’s ridiculous.

My current work were so difficult about reducing my hours, so I’ll be working 2 super long days at home and 2 shorter days in the office, but with the commute factored in, baby o will basically be at nursery for 10 hours a day I’ll be picking her up and putting her to bed.

I hate that idea, so im looking for a new job where I can work from home so im just round the corner and hopefully she can do shorter days. I have an interview on Monday But it would mean paying my current work back the extra maternity pay, everything is so bloody difficult isn’t it

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Can you get your bloods checked for any anemia, low vit d, low b12? These can all too make you exhausted and feel incredibly sad. It could just be PMS but it could also be a deficiency that can easily be corrected with some supplements.

Re the working thing, as you all know I gave up my career because childcare costs were too high, I don't think any Tory government is ever going to work in favour of supporting working families truth be told, I don't even think a labour government would be much different.
I've said it before but the loss of sure start centres were a massive negative for working families. My brother attended a sure start nursery when he was younger and it cut my mums outgoings significantly.
We shouldn't have to chose between our jobs and raising the next generation same as we shouldn't be chosing heating or eating.
Mothers returning to work is one reason why PPD is so high its additional pressure you don't need whilst navigating the first few months of motherhood. It angers me and I could rage about it forever.
I also regularly troll my local Tory MP about this, because I'm jobless and have nothing better to do

Yassss troll those Tories!!

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Struggling a bit with my mental health lately.
I've been PMS'ing for a few weeks now, so was expecting my period any minute, but it's still not here.
When we were TTC, I used to cry everytime I got my period and now it's the other way round. I'm full of pimples, I'm extra tired all the time, bloated, feeling really down. I just want my period to start again so I can start taking the pill again. (Anyone know if I could start now eventhough my cycle hasn't started yet?)
Hate PCOS, it causes so much tit
It's really doing a number on me.
Kitten has taken to pprrrtrttffrttt (I don't have a clue what the English word is for what she does ) while I feed her. I still spoonfeed (didn't know there were other ways) her and she will happily eat, but then suddenly she starts pprrrtrttffrttt'ing and spitting her food everywhere.
Today it went really well, until we were halfway her meal and then she just spat an entire spoonful everywhere, including right in my face. I got so frustrated, I said "that's it, no more food for you!", got up and left. MrCat took over though and she did eventually eat her whole meal (while still spitting every now and then).
I just don't get why she does it. I feel so bad for getting frustrated though She can't help herself, why am I getting angry/frustrated?!
I just feel that my hormones are all over the place and my tolerance for annoying stuff is so much lower now

You can start whenever. They offered to prescribe it to me as I was leaving the hospital. They offered again at my 8 weeks check...I was like... Dude...I'm pretty sure no sex is going to be happening for a *loooong time*

 

[Jellybean093]

You may already know, but you can get tax free childcare. It did save us a bit of money when the 6 year old was at preschool

Tax-Free Childcare

What Tax-Free Childcare is, eligibility and how to apply

www.gov.uk

Failing that, I’ve got the best solution for us all…

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Those of you with more than one baby, do any of them share rooms?

We live in a 3 bed and use one of the rooms as an office.

Would a 6 month old be able to share with a nearly 3 year old?

I'm trying to do a bit of forward planning. We won't be able to afford somewhere bigger, but could potentially get a garden room, but if prices keep going up then maybe that might be a stretch.

We really want 2 and are generally financially sound, but we'd be reluctant to chuck too much of our savings at a builder. I don't want to have too big of a gap either.

 

[Dak1988]

You may already know, but you can get tax free childcare. It did save us a bit of money when the 6 year old was at preschool

Tax-Free Childcare

What Tax-Free Childcare is, eligibility and how to apply

www.gov.uk

Failing that, I’ve got the best solution for us all…

View attachment 1449704

Omg I know I can’t believe they get 3 years! imagine!! we barely get a year really when it’s paid so low!!!

 

[Littleelf]

Re returning to work chat, after I had my firsti went back to work 3 days a week and she was at nursery those 3 days. My employer didn't really give me much other option other than just 3 full days if I wanted to do part time and I didn't push it at all. I ended up getting myself in an awful lot of debt just trying to live. My wage basically paid for nursery and me getting to and from work and mr elf wage paid for mortgage and bills ect. Thankfully the debt is paid off now and I've had a few pay rises since back then so my wage is significantly more, but I will still be basically paying for nursery and probably the food bill every month and thats pretty much it!!! The rising costs of food are scary, I did a food shop over the weekend for the 4 of us and it was £140!!! And we've already ran out of fruit and juice for my eldest so I will need to go back and get more. The cost of everything is my biggest worry.

Before I was pregnant I submitted a change of contract to be permanently WFH which they accepted so thankfully I don't need to worry about that, im going to try to do 24 hours a week in 4 days around the school run so I don't need to pay for wrap around care for my oldest, with baby elf going to nursery 4 mornings a week it works out and I can manage to do my hours and get stuff done. My manager is really good honestly and she has pretty much given me free reign to choose my own hours so I'm really grateful for her.

Unfortunately the cost of childcare is such a burden for so many, until something is sorted to make it easier for families more and more women will all outnof the workforce as its the only option!

 

[Be kond]

I’ve massively neglected all the threads I watch, but I hope you and all your littles are doing good, I will find time to come back properly at some point

 

[Littleelf]

Those of you with more than one baby, do any of them share rooms?

We live in a 3 bed and use one of the rooms as an office.

Would a 6 month old be able to share with a nearly 3 year old?

I'm trying to do a bit of forward planning. We won't be able to afford somewhere bigger, but could potentially get a garden room, but if prices keep going up then maybe that might be a stretch.

We really want 2 and are generally financially sound, but we'd be reluctant to chuck too much of our savings at a builder. I don't want to have too big of a gap either.

We are in a 2 bed with 2 kids and the plan once baby elf is older is for them to share, the oldest already has bunk beds in anticipation for it due to rising costs of everything and eye-watering property prices around here moving to a 3 bed for us is something that will probably be in 3 or so years time unfortunately. Well make it work though

 

[LilyRose1234]

Re the nursery chat, really doesn’t help for me that I’m one of only a few mums at our nursery (that I’ve seen anyway!) working, and at drop off they’re all in groups in their nice gym kit going to Pilates and tennis and I’m honestly so jealous

 

[ThePidge]

Oh god, follow up- little pidge basically woke up covered in liquid poo had to throw her in the bath.
Basically everything and everyone was covered in tit!

she’s had all her breakfast and some fluids, and I don’t know what to do I can’t find a thermometer but she does feel warmer than normal but very happy in herself and eaten everything?

Someone help me parent, this is very new to me! What a day and it’s 8.55.
Haven’t caught up since last post, hope you’re all ok this morning

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Those of you with more than one baby, do any of them share rooms?

We live in a 3 bed and use one of the rooms as an office.

Would a 6 month old be able to share with a nearly 3 year old?

I'm trying to do a bit of forward planning. We won't be able to afford somewhere bigger, but could potentially get a garden room, but if prices keep going up then maybe that might be a stretch.

We really want 2 and are generally financially sound, but we'd be reluctant to chuck too much of our savings at a builder. I don't want to have too big of a gap either.

We're in a 2 bed with 3 atm, and twin 1 will be going in with her older brother in a few months once his higher bed arrives where her cot can fit underneath. There's almost a 10 year age difference but I think if he was younger it'd be easier as they'd have similar bedtimes and would be less disturbed rather than a larger age gap varying bedtimes & the need for him to always be hidden away in his room.
We can't move unfortunately as we're renting and we can't find a private let that's suitable to twin 2s needs nor will they accept us because only my partner works so other applicants get ahead of us, so we're stuck here for the foreseeable. It's doable I think you'll just have to do some playing around

 

[miss_americana]

RE work chat. I’m going back 4 days but it was such a mess to sort. I’m a teacher and school turned round and said they couldn’t guarantee full days off to anyone as there are too many part time staff. Took until a few weeks ago for me to finally get a full day off confirmed. Where I teach is 35 min drive away so half a day just wouldn’t have worked for me. Luckily they prioritised staff with younger children for full days first. She’ll be doing two days in nursery which is on my way to work but I’ll be dropping when it opens and most likely picking up when it’s closing just so I can get work done at school. Then 2 days with respective grandparents. Without that grandparent support the fees would have been astronomical. I’m already thinking based on the 2 weeks I did back before the summer holidays that I’m going to have to give up my extra pastoral position as I just don’t think I’m going to have the time to do that and classrooom teach as almost all my classes are exam classes. But it’s a side of teaching I’ve always wanted to be involved in and a role I enjoy. I just don’t think it can work with baby L. I get so angry that men don’t have to worry about this. They can just push ahead with their careers.

Can you get your bloods checked for any anemia, low vit d, low b12? These can all too make you exhausted and feel incredibly sad. It could just be PMS but it could also be a deficiency that can easily be corrected with some supplements.

Re the working thing, as you all know I gave up my career because childcare costs were too high, I don't think any Tory government is ever going to work in favour of supporting working families truth be told, I don't even think a labour government would be much different.
I've said it before but the loss of sure start centres were a massive negative for working families. My brother attended a sure start nursery when he was younger and it cut my mums outgoings significantly.
We shouldn't have to chose between our jobs and raising the next generation same as we shouldn't be chosing heating or eating.
Mothers returning to work is one reason why PPD is so high its additional pressure you don't need whilst navigating the first few months of motherhood. It angers me and I could rage about it forever.
I also regularly troll my local Tory MP about this, because I'm jobless and have nothing better to do

I’ve spent an awful lot of my Mat leave sending letters to my Tory MP. I’m going to miss this new hobby when I’m back at work

 

[Trombolese]

Trying to arrange nursery and returning to work is so stressful, I’ve cried quite a lot over the worry of it. We can’t afford to put baby T in nursery full time because the cost is extortionate, even 4 days is crazy money but I think that’s what we are going to have to go with. I want to condense my full time hours either into 3.5 or 4 days, but my work won’t even discuss that with me until autumn, and we have had to secure baby Ts place for nursery now because it was the only one left with spaces. We will hopefully have another baby in a couple of years, so I want to stay on full time hours until then but it will be a killer. The thought of spending such little time with baby T too makes me so sad, I hate the position we are put in by the government.

does anyone have any recommendations for teething? Baby T has started waking up every 2 hours in the night and I’m sure it’s teething pain, he’s really biting down now and showing all the typical signs, I can’t feel or see one cutting through yet but I guess it’s them all moving around. I’ve bought loads of different teethers but he doesn’t like to use them, his favourite thing is biting my fingers . Going to go to the shop/pharmacy later and stock up on some stuff, I’ve been giving him calpol but it doesn’t do much so is there anything I can put on his gums that works?

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Baby Waka temp is still over 39 when calpol wears off but zero other symptoms, wet nappies, she’s eating, drinking milk & apart from 2-3 hours of being unsettled last night is happy this morning. Anyone had this before? Is something going to come out later!?

Trying to arrange nursery and returning to work is so stressful, I’ve cried quite a lot over the worry of it. We can’t afford to put baby T in nursery full time because the cost is extortionate, even 4 days is crazy money but I think that’s what we are going to have to go with. I want to condense my full time hours either into 3.5 or 4 days, but my work won’t even discuss that with me until autumn, and we have had to secure baby Ts place for nursery now because it was the only one left with spaces. We will hopefully have another baby in a couple of years, so I want to stay on full time hours until then but it will be a killer. The thought of spending such little time with baby T too makes me so sad, I hate the position we are put in by the government.

does anyone have any recommendations for teething? Baby T has started waking up every 2 hours in the night and I’m sure it’s teething pain, he’s really biting down now and showing all the typical signs, I can’t feel or see one cutting through yet but I guess it’s them all moving around. I’ve bought loads of different teethers but he doesn’t like to use them, his favourite thing is biting my fingers . Going to go to the shop/pharmacy later and stock up on some stuff, I’ve been giving him calpol but it doesn’t do much so is there anything I can put on his gums that works?

I have anbesol in the cupboard, can’t report on effectiveness as she’s had a virus with each tooth so I didn’t know what was working on her as she was generally in pain

 

[miss_americana]

Trying to arrange nursery and returning to work is so stressful, I’ve cried quite a lot over the worry of it. We can’t afford to put baby T in nursery full time because the cost is extortionate, even 4 days is crazy money but I think that’s what we are going to have to go with. I want to condense my full time hours either into 3.5 or 4 days, but my work won’t even discuss that with me until autumn, and we have had to secure baby Ts place for nursery now because it was the only one left with spaces. We will hopefully have another baby in a couple of years, so I want to stay on full time hours until then but it will be a killer. The thought of spending such little time with baby T too makes me so sad, I hate the position we are put in by the government.

does anyone have any recommendations for teething? Baby T has started waking up every 2 hours in the night and I’m sure it’s teething pain, he’s really biting down now and showing all the typical signs, I can’t feel or see one cutting through yet but I guess it’s them all moving around. I’ve bought loads of different teethers but he doesn’t like to use them, his favourite thing is biting my fingers . Going to go to the shop/pharmacy later and stock up on some stuff, I’ve been giving him calpol but it doesn’t do much so is there anything I can put on his gums that works?

Anbesol has worked for us. Also the ashtons and parsons gel and the teething powder too. I hate teething. So painful for them