New baby and post birth advice #2

[Pinkii]

How long will it take for my milk to dry up the pain is real right now!!!!

Took a good 3/4 weeks for mine to dry up, first few days was awful, i felt so ill.

 

[Definitelyme]

@littlepup I am probably going to be no help, sorry! Even when mine could move I always woke up before they moved more than an inch away from me, I must be a light sleeper.

I would sometimes pop a pillow along the edge of the bed when they can move if I’m leaving the room, assuming if they roll out they’ll push it and land on top (dunno if that would work?!) and with pillows at the top of the bed I have them in a ^ shape, so even if they wiggle up the bed to my face the angle of the pillow means they wouldn’t be near it.

 

[Hushpuppy]

Food 100%!!! It was the best present not thinking about what to cook everynight etc xx

Anything in particular? I know she likes to eat quite healthily so wasn't sure what to do. For me a just eat voucher would be bloody lovely as I love a cheeky takeaway!x

 

[HoneyBee29]

Anyone else have really bad pain at the bottom of their spine after giving birth from baby lying back to back?
Its so sore and its literally all down where it was agonising when I was pushing because of where baby was lying

My baby was back to back and I did for a couple of days after but I dunno if it was because of the way she was lying or because of the spinal block

 

[HoneyBee29]

Any tips on dealing with my 6 week old's baby acne? It's all across her cheeks but her skin there feels rough and dry, not oily. A bit flaky towards her ears now too as well. I gently clean her face every day with cooled boiled water but not sure what else I could be doing or whether a gentle baby moisturiser or oil would make it worse.

My friend put sudocrem on her babies she had it a bit on her face and it cleared it up but I’d ask a pharmacist or gp first

 

[Definitelyme]

Mums of baby’s that have weaned/started weaning,... talk to me about long sleeved bibs? My sister in law was showing me Bibado the other week, they look good but 20 quid a bib! We bought a long sleeved bib from IKEA the other day... are they any good? Or do I need to admit defeat? Let me know if there are any other good ones

We’ve always used the IKEA ones

 

[Definitelyme]

Might be a stupid question but got 8 week jabs coming up soon and want to put baby in an outfit that I don't have to faff around with afterwards when I'm sure there'll be tears. How far up the thigh are the jabs given? Can I just put baby in loose short dungarees so the fabric can just be pushed up rather than having to take anything off? Also any other tips? Got infant calpol at the ready.

If your 8 week appointment is the same as here they do a full paediatric check as well, which involves stripping them down naked (so hips can be checked) so whatever you have on will be off. But I definitely had my son in just a short romper for one set and pushed it up. The crying is very short lived.

 

[HoneyBee29]

Any mamas any tips for teething? My wee girl is 5 and a half months and has been teething from she was about 3 months but seems to have gotten worse the last few weeks we’ve tried different teething toys matchstick monkey, the nuby ones you put in the fridge she ends up back to sucking on her fingers, we’ve tried ambesol as well and she hates the taste of it she squeals the place down. We’ve had to give her ibuprofen just before bed a couple of nights as it was keeping her awake and seemed to help but I don’t wanna give her medicine all the time tbh she just constantly sucks on her fingers and puts them so far into her mouth it makes her gag

 

[Jojoo]

Random…. Did any of you use ‘spritz for bits’ by my expert midwife after your birth? Some ppl swear by it. it’s kind of pricey at £20 but if it really helps I’ll give it a go. Xx

Used it for first baby decided not too for my second and didn’t really notice the difference without it. Only tore slightly for my first and third degree this time, so it was tough but still don’t think I needed the spritz for bits. There nipple balm though is amazing the only one which helped me

 

[Icbaaaa]

Has anyone changed milk to comfort milk? My HV mentioned it because of my daughters reflux and is quite a sicky baby. We tried infant gaviscon but made her really constipated and were getting omeprazol today but wondering if that doesn't work maybe trying a comfort milk?

 

[Heartbeats]

I’d planned my first night out since having the baby (nothing major, just dinner and a show with my mum and sister!) but I’ve just had a letter through with an appointment for baby’s 8 week jabs on that morning.

What were your babies like after having their jabs? If it’s likely that she’ll still be unsettled that evening then I’ll obviously stay at home with her. She’s exclusively breast fed and uses it as a comfort too, so although daddy is great with her I feel like this could be one of the occasions when she really just needs mum?

 

[WhatABore]

Mums of baby’s that have weaned/started weaning,... talk to me about long sleeved bibs? My sister in law was showing me Bibado the other week, they look good but 20 quid a bib! We bought a long sleeved bib from IKEA the other day... are they any good? Or do I need to admit defeat? Let me know if there are any other good ones

I just go for clothes off

I have had the IKEA ones for when they get a bit older though!

 

[LilyRose1234]

Does anyone have any tips on dealing with engorgement? Baby is only feeding from one boob and I find that about an hour after I feed the second boob gets solid as a rock and really uncomfortable. I want to express but also don’t want to increase my milk supply because I think it’ll make the problem worse but it’s so uncomfortable

 

[Definitelyme]

Thanks ladies, it's in the nappy region and her mouth the HV mentioned it today but then took a phone call so got side tracked about asking more questions about it so will ring the Dr tomorrow. I'm bottle feeding , I didn't even realise they could get it in their mouth through bottles?? X

I suppose if it’s in her nappy then it wouldn’t be too difficult to get it up to her mouth, her hands flailing about during a nappy change maybe?

 

[CrimeJunkie]

We avoided comfort milk, my baby was very sicky and relux-y and after doing research we changed to kendamil. It’s a complete game changer for us. Apparently it’s hard to get hold of but I’ve got a subscription from them direct so I never have to worry.

This is good to know! I’ve heard good things about kendamil so was looking to change to it but HV said it was pointless as all formulas are pretty much the same but think I’m gonna give it a go and see if it helps! Do you use the normal one or organic?

 

[LilyRose1234]

Sounds like you’re doing great with tummy time etc if you want to do more bits maybe reading a book to her, I bought a sensory box for about 10 quid off Etsy, she’s probably a bit too young but my little boy looooooves his now he’s a little older

Ooh okay will give it a go! Thank you

 

[WhatABore]

Hello first time posting in here, not had baby yet so don’t kick me out! Just wondering if you’ve any advice on medicines safe from birth / early on that you recommend I have in just in case of anything? I’m a bit clueless about what might come up and what I might need.

For the baby?
There isn't any I don't think.
Calpol can only be used after 2 months, but it'll come around quick and they advise to give it after your 8 week jabs

 

[Hushpuppy]

Not sure if it's a national thing but we had some meals from the brand 'cook' not sure if they do a voucher or somthing so she could order some meals online xxedited with the link https://www.cookfood.net/menu/meal-boxes/new-parents

This is fab thank you, will look into it x

A family member emailed us a £50 Deliveroo voucher which was so lovely as they live far away and couldn’t cook us anything.

I will check her post code to see she gets it, because we don't get deliveroo here, even though I'm on the Essex/London border. Very strange!

 

[mg89]

When I Google it says csections can take around 40-50 minutes?! I’m sure some of the ladies here will be able to tell how long theirs took. I thought mine was about 20 mins but seeing 3 mins was crazy, no wonder they made such a mess of it and cut his cheek twice It will definitely be in your notes.

I asked how on earth they cut his cheek twice, and they said that they would have accidentally cut it during the first incision (I thought it was just one slice but they do two incisions to open you), they would have checked to see where he was but they said he would have been sensitive to the pain when they cut him (no shit!) so he moved and they accidentally cut him again during the second incision The thought of my little baby writhing in pain and being scared broke me tbh.

I don’t know why people care so much about how many kids you have! She said I’d regret not having any more! But at least she offered to be my personal dr for my next apparent csection… Can’t wait for that!


It was a really senior obstetrician (I think she might have been the head of the department at the hospital tbh) and a senior midwife, both weren’t involved at all. I think probably so it wasn’t biased! The dr who performed the csection spoke to my partner after the csection but had to go to another hospital before I woke conveniently… she did finally bother to ring and speak to me two weeks later on the phone but just blamed my waters being broken for over 24 hours and that there was nothing to protect him.

I hope you get all the answers you need at your debrief x

In my C-section, an emergency one but not life threatening, just prolonged labour and no dilation past 4cm, they had baby out in 4.5 minutes.

 

[Icbaaaa]

You’ve taken the words right out my mouth, that’s exactly how I imagined it too. It really isn’t. It may well be for some people, but for us it isn’t. It just feels like the days are passing by so quickly & I can’t remember at any point during the day where I actually felt happy. I try and do lots of things with baby but I feel so numb while doing them, I’m not actually getting much joy out of it, thankfully he is, he’s coming along so well which is lovely to see but I do find it really hard to keep it up everyday !!
That’s awful that your GP made you feel like that, I would be making a complaint, some of them have no clue. Typical it came from a man!


I can resonate with not telling family about how I feel. I’ve told my husband and he’s really supportive & helpful but he isn’t a professional so there’s only so much he can do to help me. I did tell my mum how I was feeling, I had a breakdown in front of her while baby was crying & being sick all over me (reflux) & I just poured my heart out to her about my bad pregnancy, my bad birth and how I am now and her reply was ‘but look how amazing he is, here’s here now, safe & sound’ and when I said that I knew that but just feel like I need some help myself to start feeling better she said ‘don’t tell too many people Any of this cause they might think you can’t cope with him & take him away’
That is the last time I tell her anything, I was livid. It actually hurt me more! My mum and I have a really good bond, and usually I can tell her anything but this shocked me, even in that moment when I was in such a state I knew what she had said was the wrong thing.
So this is why I feel I need to reach out to professionals or people like yourself who have been through it themselves & know how im feeling

Honestly you're not alone at all
I completely understand, and totally agree. I stress so much trying to think of things me and my toddler can do when baby is asleep but if he gets bored quickly or baby wakes up, they both need my undivided attention at that exact same moment and I physically can't split myself in half. Everytime this happens, I get so upset myself and burst into tears because I just don't know how to manage both kids needing me when most of all, I need myself.
Having babies and looking after them is the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life. I wish my days away/count down till my partners home from work so I know I have help. Your HV will definitely pick up your babies thriving and will reassure you you're doing an amazing job!
Oh my god, I'm so sorry that happened to you!! Especially when you've tried explaining how you're truly feeling thinking you'll have a support blanket there and it's went the opposite way. Do not think for a second anyone will take your baby away. This was one of my main reasons for not speaking up after my son, for the fear he would be taken off of me or social services involved. I thought any signs I "couldn't cope" would be a ticket for them to take him away. My HV reassured me it's only in completely extreme circumstances this happens/very rare, and it's mainly if the child's at complete risk/being neglected etc. There's such a stigma around MH and I personally feel even more so around PND/perinatal mh which is heartbreaking because there will be so many people suffering in complete silence alone with their thoughts and that can be such a dangerous place. Anytime I mention to my mum that I'm having a stressful day she always meets me back with how she was "pretty much" a single parent raising myself and my sister (my dad was on the scene) but it almost feels like a competition and she has the mindset that she raised 2 kids so everyone can and no one needs help, I briefly mentioned I'm on medication for how I'm feeling as she suspected I was feeling "depressed" and asked me but since then hasn't asked how I am (which I'm greatful for bevause I know I'd need to lie to her) and she doesn't help me out with the kids but always helps my sister out. Reaching out will.be the best thing you do honestly, I never realised perinatal was ever a thing until I had my son but they're honestly amazing and so knowledgeable, everything I've told them about how I'm feeling they've never once judged me/made faces/changed body language etc. If a randomer spoke to me face to face for 10 mins, they'd have no idea how I'm truly feeling but I can be so open with the professionals and on here as I don't feel I will be judged/it's anonymous which really helps!